I helped my mom inside the car. She smiled, but there was an air of nervousness to her. It was the first time in a long time that she seemed human. Maybe she had finally come to terms with my sexuality, I thought. Or maybe she was just glad to get away from me.

“It’s going to be okay. This is good for you. You know that, right?” I asked.

“I know that, baby,” she murmured.

My mother sat in the driver’s seat of my car. I could see the small creases around her eyes, the lines of weariness on her face that showed her age. “I’m sorry,” I said.

“Why? You helped me get this job. It was about time,” she said.

“I wasn’t talking about the job,” I said.

“Well, you don’t need to be sorry,” she said. “I’ve come to terms with what you told me.”

“About me being bisexual?” I asked her, biting the inside of my cheek. I still hated how light my voice sounded when I said the word. It made me feel weak, and seeing my mother’s eyes twitch in front of me didn’t help.

“Whatever you want to call it. It’s your… sex life,” she said. I wavered, leaning against the car door.

“This isn’t just a passing phase, though, mom,” I said. “It’s who I am. I really like Leo. We could end up together, you know. Like, forever…”

“For life? Oh, I doubt that,” she said. “Not even straight people end up together these days.”

A faint and comical smile broke out onto her face. She was joking. I felt a sense of relief form inside of me. “Are you playing with me?” I asked.

“Honey, I’ve been playing with you my whole life,” she said.

“Well, that’s true.” I laughed and gave her another firm huge. “Have a good day at work, mom. They’re going to love you there.”

“It’s just a grocery store,” she said before shutting the car door.

I watched as she drove away. It was a small step in the right direction, but it was huge for her. I was proud of my family, despite all of the problems we had. I also felt relieved. Things were finally going well for everyone.

I turned around and froze. “You need to stay away from Leo.”

“Patrick,” I muttered, still immobile. I had basked in good thoughts too fast. Things weren’t settled yet. They had just begun to unravel.

Patrick stood on my front porch, leaning against the front door with a sinister smile on his face. He was wearing tight jeans, an old band t-shirt that was covered with holes, and his skin looked pale like he had just wrestled with a bout of flu. Running his hand through his thin bleached hair, he finally stood up and walked toward me.

“Patrick,” I said. “What the hell are you doing here?”

“I came here to talk. I needed to tell you the truth,” Patrick said. “It’s about Leo…”

I pulled out my phone to call Leo, but he grabbed my hand. “Don’t,” he said. “Just hear me out.”

Unfortunately, I didn’t have too many options. I put my phone back in my pocket, but carefully held onto it, just in case. “What do you want to tell me?” I finally asked.

“We should really talk inside,” he said.

I walked past him, up the steps to my porch, stopping at the front door. “Come on. Let’s talk,” I said.

With the aura likened to a wounded dog, Patrick followed me until we reached my living room. Lucky for me, my mother wasn’t home. I sat down and waited for him to speak. Instead, it was like he was analyzing me.

Patrick had a thin smile, barely visible to the blind eye. He hated me. Despised me, no doubt, and I didn’t blame him for that. I would have hated me too, given the situation.

“I see why he loves you,” Patrick said. “Soft skin. Young. You’re naïve enough to listen to his bullshit.”

“Patrick, stop,” I muttered.

“Did he tell you all the stories about owning the Leather and Lace?” he asked, smiling at me. “What about his pills? I’m sure he made you feel terrible about his ‘mental illness.’ Don’t worry, Hayden. I fell for it too.”

What the fuck was he talking about? Fell for it… Leo wasn’t lying to me. He’d never lie to me.

“I think you should tell me why you’re really here,” I said.

“And why should I do that?” he asked. His obscure smile turned into a frown. He leaned forward and listened.

I chose my words carefully because I knew their history was delicate. “Your relationship with Leo was tragic.”

“It was horrific,” he corrected me.

I didn’t like him, but I pushed aside any misgivings that I had to keep some semblance of peace. Maybe, after we had the baby, Leo and I could move somewhere far away. That was possible, but at this moment in particular, I was stuck.

“Right. You went through hell, but I think that’s between the two of you, and not me,” I said.

Patrick picked at a small thread that coiled out of the couch. “It’s convenient for you to act so carelessly aloof,” he said.

“What do you want me to say, Patrick? Do you think I’m purposely going out of my way to hurt you?” I looked toward the front door. This was a bad idea, inviting him in here.

“He loves you now, but he isn’t going to love you when that baby comes around,” he said.

Okay. Fuck this.

“I gave you a chance. Now, get out,” I said, pointing. “Get the fuck out of my home.”

I stood up and prepared to escort him out of my house. Odd, I didn’t. I merely let my finger point until it fell to my side. I didn’t trust Patrick, but he had made me start to question Leo.

Despite my better judgment, I stayed. Like a fool, I waited for the next piece of Patrick’s story to fall onto my lap. Leo wouldn’t arrive at my house until later in the day when we had to check out a house. I’d talk to him about this then, I thought.

“We met online. Chat room hookups. I was inexperienced and young. He was a legend, of course. All I wanted to do was impress him, but slowly, he impressed me with a request,” Patrick said.

“A baby,” I whispered to myself, so quiet that Patrick didn’t hear me say it.

“I gave him what he wanted because I was in heat. My love was strong for him then. Within a month, I was pregnant. All it took was one try. We were beyond thrilled,” he said.

“Wait.” I stopped him, feeling my head start to spin with the facts. Leo didn’t tell me about this. He gave me an entirely different story.

“Let me guess. He told you something different,” he said.

Was he the victim of something more terrible than I knew? Maybe he was just like me. Maybe Leo led him on, but he suddenly bailed when the relationship got too tough.

Suddenly, I felt sick to my stomach. I tried not to tremble with anger or dismal sadness, so Patrick couldn’t somehow use my emotions against me, but the nausea took control of my body. “Excuse me,” I belted out, running toward a trashcan. I clutched around the rusted metal rim and puked my brains out.

“Fuck,” I whispered.

“You’re pregnant,” Patrick said.

A cold flash of adrenaline pumped through my heart. No. I could be pregnant. We used a knot-proof condom. It was impossible.

I wiped the saliva off of my face. “Keep talking,” I said, face worn and harsh.

“When I gave birth, I stayed with the baby. Night, after night, after night, I hung onto the hope that he’d come back to the hospital without alcohol wafting off his breath…”

My weight brought me back onto the couch. As Patrick told his side of the story, powerful tears hung on the precipice of his eyes, but I still couldn’t believe him. Or maybe I just didn’t want to. I wasn’t sure yet.

I couldn’t look away, though, either. I held my breath and pinched my arm to make myself wake up. No luck. As much as I didn’t want to, I just kept listening.

“He’d go out to the bars. Where else would he go, right?” Patrick wiped his eyes, but no tears had spilled, yet. “He blew through our savings. That took less than a week. That wasn’t the only thing he blew either.”

“You’re not making any sense,” I said.

“Not yet, maybe,” Patrick said. “There’s more.”

“I don’t like this game,” I said. “Just tell me what happens next.”

“You know what happens next,” Patrick said.

Perspiration hung, trapped below his nose. His lips quivered with fiery intensity, but he looked weak. That was what hit me the most. He didn’t seem like he was doing this out of spite. He seemed sincere.

I knew what happened next in their relationship, but it was a series of broken images. They never got their happy ending. All they had left was a dream that had crumbled. It broke my heart to think about.

“We never had a chance, I guess,” Patrick stated. “When I needed my partner most, he was gone. Leo stopped talking to me. He became violent. He wouldn’t talk about the pregnancy at all. I was alone. Leo sold half of the club to Hank. He moved out. He never spoke to me the same again.”

“He just left you?” I asked.

Patrick nodded as if it hurt him to reveal such a thing to me. “Leo can’t be bothered to give me the time of day. I’m worth nothing to him. Do you know what it’s like to feel like you’re worthless, Hayden?”

Actually, I did, but I never went through anything as hard as they did. “You said he got violent. What did you mean by that?” I asked.

Patrick stood up as if he were suddenly pulled toward the front door. “I shouldn’t have come here,” he said.

“Don’t leave. I need to know more,” I pleaded, grabbing his cold hand.

He pulled away, shocked. His eyes shifted in a way that didn’t seem normal at all. It felt like he just realized where he was. “Please,” I said.

“You’ll find out all you need to know. The truth will come out, brushing against your eardrum like a soft, safe word,” he said.

Patrick left the house, leaving the front door wide open. The quiet sounds that the birds made suddenly seemed off-putting and terrible. If Patrick wanted to spread fear into my heart, he did a great fucking job at doing it.

I let the door stay open for a long time, just thinking. No noticeable revelations sprang forward. I was stuck, and within two hours, Leo would be here with a smile on his face. Would I find the strength to confront him?

There were more important things on my mind like the fact that I just fucking puked my brains out in front of Patrick. He told me that I was pregnant. What did he know? He wasn’t a doctor.

But his words lingered in my head long enough for me to rush out the front door. I ran to the corner store at the end of the block. I grabbed a pregnancy test and dashed home, racing into the bathroom.

My heart pounded as I waited for the test to tell me my future. I knew what it was going to say. Sure enough, when it beeped, it showed the fatal cross. I was pregnant. Fuck. Me.

* * *

Lies. They were all around me, poisoning the well, backing me into a corner. I had no way of knowing who was telling the truth anymore, so I chose to remain silent until the real story fell into my lap.

“What are you thinking?” Leo held my hand as we stood in front of the white suburban house. I was thinking more than he knew. “Three bedrooms. A backyard… It even has a basement,” he said. “I think it’s fucking perfect.”

“Fucking perfect,” I muttered. “I guess it’s settled then, right? We might as well move in today.”

Leo looked at me weirdly. “You okay?” he asked.

“I’m fine,” I said.

It was a lovely home, but I couldn’t imagine moving in with him now. I looked away from him as he tried to get a read on me. “I just think it’s a little too early to decide,” I said.

I was pissed. So fucking pissed. I could barely stand next to him, let alone look at a house. How in the hell was I going to go through with any of this? Of course, Leo started to get concerned about how I was acting, so he tried to ease any fears I had for the future.

“Kitten, we don’t have to do this yet, if you don’t want to. I just thought it might be easier if we start early,” he said.

“You need to give it time,” I said.

“We should at least take a look at it,” he said, walking toward the lockbox. He typed in the code and gently pulled the keys out of the container.

“Don’t you think this is a little too domestic?” I suddenly asked.

Leo chuckled and unlocked the front door. “If you’re having second doubts, you should probably tell me now,” he said.

“I’m not,” I said. My hands fell to my flat stomach. The changes hadn’t started yet, but I knew they would happen soon enough. Nine months was no time at all in the grand scheme of things.

“You don’t sound too sure of yourself,” Leo muttered.

Leo stepped into the house without waiting for me. He was fed up with my mood. So be it, I thought. I didn’t need to appease him anyway. He’d probably end up leaving me in the end, anyway.

A sliver of guilt ran through me, however. I couldn’t keep treating him like this if I didn’t know he was guilty. I ran toward him and placed my hand on his shoulder. At that point, he couldn’t be bothered to stop. He kept walking.

“I’m sorry,” I finally said. “I don’t mean to be so short with you.”

“You’re not even looking at the house,” he said. “I thought this was about us now. What happened? Are you drifting from me?”

“Who said I was drifting?” I asked. For the first time, I looked at the house I was standing in. It was average looking.

Leo stirred inside the hallway. “Something is going on, and I think I know what it is,” he said.

“I think I should just go home. Clearly, we’re not in the best mood to discuss this,” I said.

Leo tossed his arms up into the air, defeated. “Great. Maybe you can pick up Patrick on the way home while you’re at it,” he said.

I stopped walking, and I staggered back until I found a counter to balance myself on. “So you know?” I asked.

“Yeah. I know that you saw him,” he said. “He practically told me.”

Sometimes, I wanted to disappear. This was one of those instances. “I didn’t want to see him,” I said. “He just showed up at my door.”

Leo’s eyes were on fire, but they were much different than Patrick’s. The first thing that I noticed was that they were much more confident. I didn’t know if that was a good thing or not. Was he as violent as Patrick had made him out to be?

“Why are you snooping around? What are you trying to find?” he asked.

“What are you trying to hide?” I immediately snapped back.

Leo could have argued with me all day, but he didn’t. Just as he opened his mouth to respond, he let a heavy silence fill the room. He shook his head in disbelief. “I honestly can’t believe this right now,” he said.

I grabbed his hand so he wouldn’t turn away. “Leo, he showed up out of nowhere. He told me things.”

His eyes widened. Was he guilty? He looked like it. Or maybe he was just shocked. I had no clue what to believe. “What did he tell you?” he asked.

“Everything,” I said.

“Well, then.” His voice dropped off, attention turning inward. He turned around for a brief moment, lost within himself. I hadn’t seen him act like this since we first met and he forgot to take his medication.

I didn’t know what the hell to think at this point. I was still knee-deep in the dark. “You know what? I think you’re right. Both of you,” he said. “This was too soon. I’ll see you around, Hayden.”

He kissed the top of my head before walking out the front entrance. Just like Patrick, he left the door wide open.

Just as Leo was about to get into his car, I could hear the words fall from his mouth: “I really loved him.”