Chapter Ten
Gillian
Lexie and I had bought into the sushi craze early and became addicted immediately. If I didn’t get my fix once a week, I started to get withdrawals. Lexie was the same way. There was something about the mixture of wasabi and soy, the taste of the avocado and spicy mayonnaise. People could say what they wanted. I was in love.
She called me late that morning to invite me out, so I slipped into something comfortable and drove down to our favorite spot to meet her. I could tell immediately when I sat down that something was on her mind.
“You’re in crisis,” I said when the food came. I couldn’t hold back any longer.
“I am not.”
“You’re barely thirty, and you’re already going existential on me. That’s what this speed dating bull is about. You’re not lonely. You’re having a pre-midlife crisis.”
“That’s not true.”
“It’s pointless, Lexie. You’re beautiful, and men are like dogs. They smell a woman in heat, and they hound her till she bends over. Eventually, you’ll find one that you like and house train him. It’s inevitable. Worrying about it will just make you desperate, and you’ll end up spending the next three years trying to please a drunken idiot.”
“You’re underestimating me.”
“I’m worried. You need to focus on the things that matter. Love will fall into place.”
“That’s easy for you to say. You’re already swooning over your stiff military boy.”
I let that one go.
“You do what you want, Gillian, but I’m going to give this a chance. You should come with me so we can get our nails done.”
“Why should it matter what our nails look like? They’re just going to be staring at our tits.” I used my chopsticks to grab up a piece of salmon and dipped it in my wasabi and soy sauce mixture.
“I want to look nice, tonight.” Lexie popped a piece of a California roll into her mouth.
“They’re probably all just a bunch of freaks.” I popped the salmon in my mouth.
“I’m not a freak, and I’m going.”
“True.” I took a drink of my soda. “Maybe you’re right. I don’t know, but that doesn’t mean we have to have full hair and makeup.”
“When was the last time you got your nails done?” she asked.
“It has been a while.” My cuticles were frayed from biting the nails. “Alright, I’ll go.”
We finished up our food and walked to the nail salon next door, where we sat down and let the woman start cleaning our feet. “How did your date go?” Lexie asked, her head back and her eyes closed as she enjoyed the foot massage.
“It was good. He’s deep, more so than he lets on. He’s just a little stiff and closed off. I want to open him up more and find out what’s going on in his head.”
“Did anything happen?”
“No, and that’s what I’ve been wondering about. I know he likes me. You should’ve seen the way he looked at me when he picked me up, but when he dropped me off, he got all quiet and didn’t say anything. I think I must’ve done something wrong.”
“Maybe it’s not even you. Maybe he has something going on.”
“I don’t know. If he likes me, he likes me. If he doesn’t, then I move onto somebody else. I’ll just have to wait until tonight and find out.”
“Wait — tonight? I thought we were going speed dating?”
“I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you. I invited him. I hope that’s okay.”
“You invited him?” She sat up to look at me. “What are you crazy? No wonder he didn’t do anything. He probably thinks you don’t like him.”
“Fuck,” I laid my head back. “I cannot believe I did that.”
“Neither can I. What were you thinking?”
“That I didn’t want to look available when I was there and that I wanted another excuse to see him. I thought he already knew I wanted him. I’ve been pretty forthcoming about it.”
“I don’t know what to say to that, except that you’re coming tonight, no matter what.”
“I have to make this right first.” We finished with our pedicures and chose the color for our nails. I never liked fake fingernails. I could never adapt to them the way other women did, so I chose a simple rose color and let them paint my real ones.
When we were done, I excused myself and drove home as fast as I could to call Dwayne. He answered right away. “Hello?”
“Hey, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to bother you.”
“No, it’s fine. I was just about to call you, actually.”
“Really?” I tried not to sound hopeful.
“Yeah, I don’t think I can make it tonight. I’ve got to work really early in the morning, and I’m not feeling very good.”
“That’s too bad because I was really hoping that you could come.”
“I know, and I’m sorry. We can go another time.”
“What is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“What’s on your mind? Why don’t you want to go?”
There was a long pause, then, “I haven’t dated in years, and even then, it wasn’t a formal sit down restaurant type of thing. I have no skills, and I’m not a conversationalist. Plus, I…”
“You?” He was going to say it. He wanted me, and now he thought I didn’t want him.
“I just don’t think it’s a good idea, and I don’t want to waste the money on the gas.”
“I can pick you up.”
“I don’t know.”
“I do. I want you there.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.” That was about as direct as I was willing to get. “It’ll be weird with all of those strange guys. I want somebody I know.”
“Okay. When is it?”
“Seven. I’ll come get you at six-thirty.”
“That sounds good. I’ll talk to you then.”
We were tiptoeing around the subject. Neither one of us wanted to address the fact that we were obviously mutually attracted to one another. I didn’t want to seem desperate, and I didn’t think he knew that I liked him.
I wasn’t going to let that continue. I pulled out my favorite red dress with the slit up the legs and a ruffled bodice that hugged my body and curled my hair so that it fell in soft waves. It occurred to me while getting ready that I had the upper hand. If he didn’t think I liked him, I could tease him and make him want it even more. He’d work harder for it and do everything he could to seduce me. I wasn’t going to play him or use him to get me things, but I was going to make him work for it.