Chapter 2
Carrie
I make it outside, stand by Alexander’s bike, and drag air into my lungs. Almost two years and this isn’t how I imagined seeing Jacob again. He’s drunk, naked as the day he was born, and obviously has been in bed with two women…Two! At the same time! When Alexander told me he was going to stop by and check on Jacob, I couldn’t resist coming in. It was a bad move. Still, even knowing I shouldn’t go inside, I couldn’t stop myself. It had been so long since I had seen him. The temptation was just too much. So, I caved.
I don’t know what I expected, I really didn’t. It wasn’t pure hate. It really wasn’t, but sadly that was exactly what Jacob radiated when he looked at me. I think he might want to kill me. I laugh hysterically. He’d have to get in line, wouldn’t he?
The only reason I am in Kentucky is because someone killed my parents and is still after me. Dragon had ordered Alexander to come to Tennessee to get me after Jacob’s mom called him. The next day I was packed up and heading to Kentucky with a man who called himself Crusher. It took me half the trip to get Alexander’s real name out of him.
I have been here for four months now and for the most part I’ve loved it. The Savage MC has become my adopted family, with Dragon, Nicole and Alexander being some of the best friends I have ever had. That won’t last though. The minute I heard Jacob was getting out, I knew it would end.
Don’t get me wrong, I wanted him out. I really did. I just knew that once he was, I would have to leave. Jacob blames me for what happened to him and in a way he was right. It had been my stupidity to follow Jacob and his buddy to the club that night. I wanted to prove to him I was grown up. I wanted to show him that he needed to take me seriously, that I could be the woman for him. I was so stupid, so incredibly naïve. The only thing I accomplished was proving myself to be horribly immature and to ruin three lives.
“You’re going to have to toughen up, Red, if Dance is the man you want to hang your hat on,” Bull offers.
I hear Bull’s voice and my body instantly stiffens. Bull makes me uncomfortable in ways I don’t totally understand. I turn and see him standing in the shadow of the old hotel. He’s leaning against the brick wall, wearing worn jeans, a faded red t-shirt and his Savage MC leather vest. He’s got a black skull cap on and it looks good on him. I’m not sure there’s much that could make him look bad though. The gold studs he wears in his ears sparkle as he walks to me.
“He’s not,” I say, as my eyes take him in. He stops in front of me and he overshadows everything, dominating. He’s wearing these dark sunglasses and the silly girl in me mourns over the fact I can’t see his eyes. Bull has the kind of eyes that sparkle with humor constantly, which is odd because he doesn’t talk that often.
“Bullshit. Lie to yourself if you want, Red, but not to me.”
“He’s not,” I insist. “Besides even if he was, Jacob hates me.”
“Funny thing about love and hate, they tend to get all mixed up.”
“If you had seen him a minute ago, you wouldn’t say that,” I explain, a little panicked at the way his eyes are pinned on me. I’m like a deer caught in the bright glare of headlights on a dark night. My heart even jumps in my chest.
“What’s your name anyway?” I ask knowing it’s pointless. Since I’ve been staying here, he has never given me his real name.
“Bull.”
“No, I mean like Jacob and Alex….”
“I’m not him, Red.”
“Him?”
“The one who folds to the promises on your lips. The name is Bull.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I say honestly.
“I know; that’s what makes you so fucking tempting.”
“You’re a confusing man, Mr… Bull,” he busts out laughing and I’m drawn to the noise. It’s husky and dark and it sends tingles of awareness through my body, not quite like they used to be when Jacob was around, but honestly it is the first time I’ve felt anything close to it. Bull is dangerous. I’m drawn to him. If I hadn’t been in love with Jacob my entire life, he would have been really dangerous. Something makes me keep trying to get Bull to talk to me; maybe I just appreciate the fact that he was one of the first men to ever notice me as a woman. I wish Jacob would do that.
“Red, I’m kind of hoping Dance remains a fool just so I can sample what you got.”
“I don’t know what you…” I stutter, but I don’t get the sentence finished because his lips come down against mine. They’re warm and soft. I can taste a hint of coffee on them. I’m in shock. I never expected to be kissed, not by Bull and not here. My body is frozen, but slowly things begin to register. Like the feel of his hand sliding up my back and the heat of his touch, even through my jacket. The woodsy outdoor smell of him is nice, and I take a deep breath through my nose wanting more.
“Open your mouth, Red,” he mumbles against my lips. Would it surprise him to know that no man has ever kissed me before? I’m debating opening my mouth for him. Half of me really, really wants to and the other half fights against it. The other half wants to give all my firsts to Jacob. That’s stupid. I know it is. Jacob wants nothing to do with me and certainly doesn’t want my kisses. I have this amazing, good-looking, virile man wanting entry into my mouth and I’m thinking of another man. A man who hates me and can’t stand me, and yet I can’t stop wanting him. This would explain why I’m still a virgin at twenty.
My hands go to Bull’s biceps to steady myself and to pull away, when I hear Jacob’s voice.
“Don’t look now Alexander but looks like your Twinkie has already moved on to another brother.”
The contempt in Jacob’s voice is so thick it physically wounds me. My body jerks from the thinly disguised blow. Of course he thinks I’m a whore. Why wouldn’t he? I pull back and look up at Bull. His eyes are hidden behind his sunglasses. Can he tell how much Jacob’s words cut me? Does it show on my face?
Bull’s head moves down so his lips graze my ear and his finger slides along the side of my face. “Toughen up, Red. Anything good is worth fighting for.”
I swallow as I try to concentrate on his words. They’re good words. I would totally listen to them, if Jacob gave me anything to fight for. If we ever had anything between us, I would absolutely fight. We haven’t though and I’m pretty sure Bull is wrong.
He steps away and walks back towards the hotel where he had first been standing. I watch him for a minute, wishing he had stayed. At least when he was here I didn’t feel so vulnerable from all the hate pouring off of Jacob. I can feel it. He’s doing nothing to hide it. How can a man stand in front of you with hate radiating from every single inch of him and yet still look so heart-stopping gorgeous? The color in his tattoos, the deep brown of his eyes, the short dark hair I crave to touch, the muscular build that makes me weak in the knees…There is so much to want, so much to crave.
“What are you looking at, bitch? You want to tangle with me too? I’d rather chop my dick off than have it anywhere near you,” he growls and it hurts.
I look down at the ground so he won’t see my face. I’m afraid I can’t hold back the tears that want to fall. “Still, you seem to have Crush and Bull hot for you. I bet they’d tag team you if you asked nice enough.”
I try to tune out his words. I stare at the cracked pavement at my feet. My eyes follow a jagged line to where it disappears under my shoe. I wish I could disappear. When I look up I see that Bull has returned and punched Jacob in the stomach. He’s watching Jacob closely. Jacob is bent over rubbing his stomach and cursing.
“You’re a fucking asshole Dance, but keep shooting your poison. I’ll gladly take what you’re giving away,” Bull says over his shoulder as he grabs my hand and pulls me along with him.
“You’re riding with me, Red.”
I shuffle my feet and try to follow because he is tall as heck. It’s hard for me to keep up and for some reason Bull is intent on pulling me with him, so I stumble.
“Where the hell is she going?” Jacob yells.
“If you had your head out of your ass, you’d know,” Bull replies and I’m trying to decide which is more astounding. The fact that I’m in the same area with Jacob after all this time or the fact that Bull has said more words in the last twenty minutes than he probably has spoken all week.
He hops on his bike and I use my hands on his shoulder to brace myself as I get on behind him. I lay the side of my face against his back and wrap my arms around him tight. Bull pulls out and directs his bike towards where Alexander and Jacob are standing arguing. My eyes freeze on Jacob’s. It seems like forever, but I know it’s just mere seconds. It couldn’t have been any longer than that but it’s long enough that I have to close my eyes against the pain I see reflected back at me.