The throbbing pain of a hangover was the last thing she wanted to deal with when she woke that next morning, but there it was, in all its glory. Julie groaned and rolled over in her bed, still fully dressed. A long sigh left her as she tried to sit up and flopped back down.

How stupid was she?

Going to dinner with her intern? Getting drunk with him? Kissing him?

"Fuck," she grumbled and let out a long groan as she forced herself to the upright position. The room spun around her and she took her time standing.

This would be the moment where Simon would come into the room, sweep her off her feet and carry her to the couch to rest for the day. He would wait on her hand and foot and make her feel like a million bucks just with the exorbitant amount of attention he would lavish on her.

"I miss you," she whispered and forced back tears. Why had she slung such harsh words at him before? The hurt in his eyes at her words, combined with his dismissal of her, left her feeling like complete shit.

She walked slowly to the living room and picked up her phone, texting him a quick apology. She added for him to come by the house so they could talk, looked at it for a few minutes and deleted the whole thing. It wouldn't go over well and the chance of him understanding her hangover was nil.

"What am I doing?" She put the phone on the kitchen table and walked to the fridge, pulling out a carton of orange juice and some cold cuts.

She made a quick sandwich and took her plate and the jug of juice to the table, drinking straight from it. A smile lifted her mouth at the horror Simon would experience from her doing it. A chuckle left her and she cringed at the headache that sprung to life violently.

Her phone buzzed and she reached for it, noticing it was a number from the hospital.

Good, hopefully it's Simon.

"Dr. Paulk." Julie forced her most professional voice, but failed miserably.

"Wow. You sound rough. Everything okay?" Elijah.

"Yeah, just a long night. I might have had more wine than I could handle." She chuckled and cringed again.

"Well, be careful. I hope you weren't driving."

"No, father. I wasn't." She smiled and took a big bite of her sandwich.

"I'm calling with great news."

"Oh, yeah? Share. I need it this morning." She set her breakfast down and worked to get the thick white bread out of her teeth.

"Cade stopped by to see me this morning." Elijah's voice was filled with reserve.

Nervousness rolled through Julie, her heart skipping a beat at the thought of the boy telling her chief of staff about any of the things they had been up to lately.

"And..."

"And he's signing with us for his residency. You did it. It's not even been the full three months. Hell, it's not even been more than a week. I'm not sure how you did it, and maybe I don't want to know, but he's ours. Great job, Julie. We'll have to go out and celebrate. This is huge. Huge!"

Her heart dropped at the news. "Yay! I'll be in after a while. Thanks for calling and sharing with me."

"Thank you. I'm beyond impressed. Congrats."

"Thanks." She hung up and shook her head. "Congrats to me on being a cheater myself. I'm not even divorced yet and here I am flirting with a kid in college and letting him get me liquored up. How quickly this happens..."

She finished her food and took a long drink from the container in front of her before texting Simon that they needed to talk.

She sent it before she could delete it. Getting up, she left her mess on the kitchen table and walked to the bathroom, stripping down and trying to figure out how she was going to explain herself to Simon. He needed to know what happened. The very last thing she wanted was for him to hear that she went out to dinner with Cade instead of helping with the surgery she was planned to take on. It was a double whammy and she needed to put it in the softest way possible.

She finished her shower as anticipation tore at her insides. Simon had surely texted back by now, but how the conversation would go was a mystery. Half drying herself, she walked back into the kitchen to find her text the only one between them.

"Odd. Is he in surgery?" She set the phone back down and walked to her bedroom, working through her morning routine and praying like hell that her stomach would settle.

By the time she was ready to go, he had finally replied with nothing more than an 'okay'.

"Awesome," she grumbled and dropped the phone into her purse.

After getting into the car, the speaker system picked up a caller on her phone. The hospital again. Surely Simon.

"Dr. Paulk here." She put on her sunglasses and glanced over her shoulder as she backed the car up.

"Hey there, hottie doctor." Cade's voice was filled with warmth.

"Hi there, intern. What can I do for you?"

"Lots of things actually, but let's start out slow. Update me on how you're feeling."

She rolled her eyes and tried to ignore the pinpricks of excitement at his deep voice. This was bad. Really, really bad. There was a high probability that if Simon didn't save her from herself, she would end up in bed with the guy on the phone. "I feel like shit. How many drinks did you let me have last night?"

"As many as you wanted. I was just there to catch you when you fell."

"Oh yeah? Did I fall?"

"I don't know. You tell me."

Smooth. Too smooth for his own good.

"It's not that easy, Cade. You're aware of that." She paused, but only briefly. "What time is our first procedure?"

"In an hour. Hurry up and get here. I miss you already."

"I am memorable." Julie scoffed and turned the air on, though it was cold outside. Her body ached from the night before and the lack of physical touch she wanted so bad in the midst of her drunkenness.

"I'll say so. I wish you would have let me spend the night with you, though. I could have made you breakfast and washed your back for you." His voice lowered a little.

"Keep it professional, mister. Keep it professional."

He laughed. "Right. Well, in that case, I wanted to let you know that I've signed on to do my residency with you."

"With me? What if I'm not there?"

"I'm thinking you probably will be." He chuckled.

"That's great news. I'll see you shortly, okay? I'm getting into heavy traffic on the freeway."

"Be safe, pretty girl. See you soon."

She pressed the off button and let out a low growl. Pretty girl? Why did him saying it make her feel it? Dangerous. She was knee-deep in shit and about to tumble off the edge of the cliff. Flooring it, she made it to the hospital in record time and walked quickly to Simon's office, grateful to find him sitting at his desk.

His wire-rimmed glasses looked so good on him as he glanced up. He stood, concern brushing across his features as she shut the door and let out a long, painful sigh, closing her eyes and pressing her hand to her face.

"Jules? What's the matter?" He moved to stand in front of her as she peered at him through her fingers.

She couldn't seem to find her voice and knew better than to be in his office at that moment. It was fear that sent her there. He had been her protector and her rock for so long that it seemed the natural place to go.

"I drank out of the OJ jug this morning. Like straight from it." She choked on a little sob and reached out, pressing her hand to his chest as he moved closer.

Something like frustration moved across his features and he pursed his lips. "It's okay to do that, silly girl."

She let out another soft cry as tears spilled over onto her cheeks. "I can't do this anymore. I'm quitting today. I'm going to break in half if I have to endure this horrible wave of emotion for much longer."

"Don't quit." He reached out and brushed her hair back. "I'll ask for a transfer, okay? Whatever you need."

"No. That's not fair. You're meant for this place. I'll be fine. I just need to get out of here."

"What happened yesterday? You haven't canceled a surgery in the ten years you've been working here. Talk to me." He moved closer, her hand staying on his chest, but letting him.

Pressing his forearms around her to press to the door behind her, he hovered just above her. How many times had she held him in that very position in their bed, wanting to see his face as he took her to the deepest parts of ecstasy?

"I was upset over us and Cade took me out for something to eat." She glanced down and back up. "I don't want to get caught in the web of needing someone to make me feel good and let this kid take advantage of me. He's close to getting there and I don't know what to do."

"Come back to me. You belong to me, Jules. Not him. You know this." He leaned in and brushed his lips across hers, the familiar taste of him sending a shockwave to the center of her.

"I'm not sure that's the answer." She reached up and brushed her fingers along his crazy eyebrow.

"Do you still love me? At all?" He pressed himself against her, trapping her hands on his chest between them.

"Yes, but I don't know how to trust you, Simon."

"We can work that out. Trust is something that can be rebuilt, and even though you’re falling for the same shit with Cade that I did with Pam, I trust you to make the right decision. If you don't... I'll figure out how to trust you again. I love you too much to let go." He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers.

She leaned into him, wanting more than anything for him to come home with her. The thing with Cade felt fun and adventurous, but the moments with her husband were like coming home. Warm. Right. Stable.

His tongue slid along hers and the low masculine growl that left him sent shivers down her spin. He broke the kiss and pressed his forehead to hers. "Have you slept with him?"

"No. He's kissed me, but all I can see is you when I try to imagine making love to him or being intimate with anyone. I want a long night of passion so fucking bad, just to feel something besides sadness and yet I know I can't. I can't be with anyone until I cross this line with you and we fully separate."

"We don't have to get a divorce, Jules. Why is that the only option?"

"I don't know." She reached up and touched the side of his face. "I just can't figure out another option."

He let out a long sigh, kissed her softly and moved back. "All right. I'm down with whatever you want to do. Just knowing that you still love me is enough for now."

"I like Cade, Simon. I enjoy his attention and he reminds me of..." She stopped, unable to finish her sentence.

"Of me. I know. He reminds me of myself too." He ran his hand through his hair. "Let's get through the day and then I'll come over tonight. We can cook dinner and talk through how we're going to split everything. I'll behave unless you want more... then it's all yours. As much as you can handle."

She nodded, grateful for his offer. With everything going on inside of her, she knew without a doubt that she would be taking him up on it.

Was it right? No.

Did she care? Hell no.