Four Days Later

 

 

The week had to have been one of the longest in her career. Six emergency surgeries, which put her elbow to elbow with Simon, and left her feeling more like crap than she ever had. He was right about some of the things he'd accused her of, but she had to tuck it all away. She couldn't battle the voices in her head and him at the same time.

Cade continued to apply pressure in the form of compliments and impressing the hell out of her at every turn. There was no way she was moving into a relationship with him, especially not until the divorce was final. There was a large part of her heart that didn't want to go through with it, but after her discussion with Simon on Monday, it was only fair.

They were simply tearing each other apart bit by bit at that point. Whether anything became of her and anyone wasn't something she wanted to contemplate at all. She was more concerned with focusing on her career and pushing herself to be better and more diligent at the hospital.

The nights in the house were lonely and filled with tears, which she figured would soon dry up, but they never seemed to. She finished working through the last of the sutures she needed for the surgery she and Simon were working on and looked up to catch him watching her intently.

The longing in his gaze almost broke her in half, but she simply nodded to signal that she was done. "Anything else, Dr. Paulk?"

"No. Beautiful job. Impressive as always. Thank you. Scrub out, Doctor." He turned his attention back to the patient, his movements mechanical and all of the beautiful personality that belonged to him alone was seemingly gone.

An ache tugged at her as she walked into the wash room, and she fought back the need to scream. One of the nurses moved up beside her and touched her shoulder. Cheryl.

"Hey... it's going to get better between you guys. You're killing us in there. This job is too damn hard to have the two of you going through the motions with no feeling, with no light left in you." She reached up and touched the side of Julie's face. "Something’s got to give."

"I know. I'm sorry." The tears arrived just in time and Julie sniffled as she lifted her hands to get Cheryl to pull her bloody gloves from her hands. "The divorce will be finalized soon and everything’ll get better."

"I sure wish I believed that, Julie. I think you're making a mistake."

"How so?" Julie moved to turn the water on and leaned toward her shoulder, pressing her nearest eye to it to help capture a few of the tears that leaked out.

"Someone who was ready for divorce wouldn't look so broken. It would be the beginning of something new, but I know love and you both still love each other. Why are you forcing this? Is it pride?"

"No. I can't live with someone I don't trust."

"And you honestly don't trust him after these weeks of him being in your face and working to bring you into a good place with him?"

"Why are you defending him? I'm the one that got a call that destroyed my world." Julie's voice lifted as anger burned down the center of her chest. Cheryl was hitting too close to the truth. She looked to her left as Simon turned toward her and mouthed, “Everything okay?”

She nodded and walked to grab a few towels. "Sorry, Cheryl. I'm just tired. Please leave this alone. I'm already hurting enough."

"All right." The older woman ducked her head and moved back into the OR, leaving Julie feeling like crap.

She walked out into the hallway and let out a long sigh before walking quickly to her office. She was close to losing it again and didn't need anyone to witness it. Elijah was wrong for keeping her there for the next year. She needed out, and if quitting was the only way to find peace of mind, then so be it.

There was an hour until her next surgery. She had time to write her resignation letter, perform the procedure and get out of there before anyone stopped her to discuss it.

She walked into her office as the first sob slipped from her lips. Cade turned from the large bouquet of red roses on her desk and moved quickly to her as she shut the door.

"Julie, what's wrong?" He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her tightly against him.

"Please. Just go. I didn't know you were in here. I need a minute to just let off some steam." She pushed at him softly, not wanting to be released from his hold, but knowing how damning the moment was to her self-worth.

"No. I'm not going anywhere. I wanted to surprise you with flowers. I know it's been a long week. I can feel the tension with you and Simon. It's horrible." He pulled her up and tightened his hold as she pressed her face into his chest and let out another painful sob. "It's okay, sweetie. Let it out. I'm right here. I'm not letting go."

"I can't do this. I can't stay in this place. I have to leave." She tucked her arms against her chest and pressed against him, tucking her face into the side of his neck as he cupped the back of her head.

"You're not going anywhere. You're made for this place." He kissed the side of her face. "What's all this shit about? Did Simon hurt you?"

Another sob tore from her. "I love him, Cade. He's been my rock for fourteen years. He was everything to me."

"What happened, Jules?" The nickname smacked her in the face and she balled up tighter and started to cry harder. No one told him her nickname, but it didn't matter. It hurt all the same. "Don't talk about it anymore. Let's get out of here. I'll take you for an early dinner and we can talk, or I'll just make you laugh the whole time."

"I have a surgery." She forced herself to push back a little as she tried to wipe the smears of mascara from his shirt.

"Cancel it. Text Simon and tell him something’s come up and you have to get out of here. Do it now." His voice was commanding, but in a way that made her want to obey.

"Yeah, maybe you're right." She glanced up at him and knew the error of her ways. He looked so much like her husband did years ago, when he loved her madly and showed it.

A sob rolled out of her and Cade leaned down, pressing his lips to hers and pulling her against him again.

She murmured against his mouth and slid her arms around him, opening up and sliding her tongue along his as he rolled it in and out of her mouth. His hands moved down her back and latched onto her ass, squeezing softly as he groaned low in his chest.

The slow heat building between them felt wrong and yet she didn't want it to stop.

He pulled back and sucked in a sharp breath. "Fuck, you're so what I want in my life, Julie. Let's grab dinner and then we'll have a drink at my place. Come with me?"

"Yeah..." She moved from him and picked up her phone, texting Simon that she was out. She couldn't stay any longer and if he was disappointed or upset... he should be. She wasn't the woman she thought she was. She wasn't sure who she was anymore.

 

 

The restaurant was dark and cozy, the wine strong and delicious. She sat across from Cade, forcing the younger man to sit on his side of the table and not crowd her on hers. He watched her intently, his eyes moving over her face as if he were trying to memorize her.

"What happened with you and Simon, Jules? I need to know." He reached over and took her hand, squeezing it softly.

"Over the last year we've both been too involved at the hospital. I'm working to take his spot as lead surgeon and he's been working hard to cross-train. He's beyond brilliant." She picked up her glass and took a deep drink of the bitter liquid.

"I know. He was incredible in the surgery he allowed me to do with him the other day. I've actually read all about him and his research. I just didn't put two and two together for some reason." He licked at his lips and pushed his plate away with his free hand. "Anyway... go on."

"So, about two weeks ago he got in a car accident, but he wasn't alone. I don't know the specifics, but he called me and informed me that he had been sleeping with one of the HR girls and he was sorry." Julie set the wineglass down and looked up, not sure what she’d find.

The concern on Cade's face melted her a little. "What? Out of all of the scenarios, I never expected that one. Who would be insane enough to cheat on you?"

"I guess my best friend of fourteen years." She swallowed the hot lump of pain that rose sharply to lodge itself in her throat. "I want to get over it, to move on, but I can't."

"I wouldn't be able to either. I was with a girl all through high school and then after our freshman year, we went to different schools and the bitch started sleeping around. Insane. Not sure what she was thinking." He chuckled and released her hand.

High school. Freshman year of college. What am I doing here? He's just a kid.

"Right, so I guess you get it too." She finished her wine. "I'm tired and want to go home."

"Yeah, come on. I'll take you to my place. I don't know where yours is and you're a little tipsy." He stood and moved to her side of the table, taking her hand and helping her up.

It wasn't until she was standing that she realized just how much she had drunk. She wrapped her arm around his waist and shook her head. "No. I want to go to my house. If I go to yours, we're liable to sleep together."

He grinned. "That's what people who are attracted to each other do." He moved to the front of the restaurant and pushed the door open as she tried to protest again. There was no way she was adding insult to injury.

"I don't think it's a good idea, Cade. I want to keep our relationship professional."

"And we will. At work. No one needs to know our private decisions." He paused by her side of the truck and leaned down, kissing her softly, his tongue warm and wet. "Tell me you don't want more and I'll take you home."

"I don't want more. Please... not while I'm drunk." She leaned into him and kissed him again. What the hell was she doing?

"You do want more, but not tonight. I understand. Give me the address." He smiled and opened the door, helping her in and chuckling as her words slurred.

She leaned back and closed her eyes, allowing the soft buzz of the truck to lull her to sleep.

"Wake up, baby. This is your house, right?" Cade picked her up out of the truck and walked her to the front door as she came to.

"Hmm? Yeah. This is it. Thank you so much." She slid down the front of his body and pulled him down for a long kiss. He pressed her to the front door, the strong feel of him against her beckoning her to bring him in with her.

"Goodnight, Jules. I'll see you tomorrow." He kissed her nose and pushed her door open. "Sleep this off and know that I'm fighting every bone in my body not to strip you down and christen every room of your big beautiful house."

She walked in and looked over her shoulder, taking him in and letting out a long shaky breath. "Me too. Me too."