I stilled, and my hair whipped around us. I wanted to ask how the hell it was possible for him to read my mind so clearly now, but even I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t bring myself to completely ignore his confession.

“I don’t expect a response. Why would I when I called you hundreds of times with no answer?”

I stared into his beautiful green eyes, torn by indecision. By his proximity, and the ever-quieter voice in my mind that said something wasn’t right here.

He laughed, a wretched, awful sound. “I wish I could’ve waited, that I could’ve told you when you were ready. I need you to understand that I love you unconditionally, though, and that I’ll do anything for you. We don’t have to put a label on this.” He motioned between us. “Whatever it is right now. I don’t expect anything more from you than I did before.”

I stood, lips parted, unable to form a response.

“I need you to be honest with me, though, because I don’t think you realize the hellfire that’s coming for you when my brother arrives.” He paused, searching my face for something that I didn’t know how to give. “Is there anything else you aren’t telling me?”

I stared at him for what felt like an eternity, unable to process his proclamation of love. Truth. He was asking for the truth, and all of it. He didn’t realize that what he’d asked for was impossible to give. I doubted even I knew half the secrets I kept.

“No.”

He blew out a breath, and brushed strands of hair from my face. He was vulnerable, but standing here, he seemed so strong and sure of himself that I couldn’t find it in me to move away.

“Good. Now we need to figure out how we’re going to get around my mother. She has every intention of interrogating you tomorrow by forcing Alec’s hand. The Council’s going to want a firsthand account of what happened, without any of the bias that comes with recounting it. She’s going to want you to drop your shields so that she can enter your mind to see the entire thing, play-by-play.”

“That’s not going to happen. She can kiss my ass.” My tongue seemed to have found itself again.

He smiled. “Luckily for you, her ability is very different from mine, and I suspect she won’t be able to get around your shields. You’re going to need to be vigilant, though, especially if she touches you. She can pick through your mind and see anything she wants—something the Council’s found very useful lately.” His voice soured on the word useful.

“My shields are still up, so how are you getting around them?”

He caught a strand of my hair in his fingers and played with it. “Your hair is so soft,” he murmured. He ran a hand through it, knotting it so he could tilt my face up.

I should’ve stopped him, but we hadn’t crossed any boundaries yet.

It’s just hair.

Yeah, just hair. Sure. We’d go with that.

What it was was my restraint slipping. I needed to stay on point.

“How, Lucas? You can’t ask for answers without giving them.” I batted his hand away, crossing my arms over my chest.

“Do you really want to know?” He cocked his head, monitoring my reactions.

“Yes.” I gritted my teeth. His closeness was messing with my head, and the fireflies starting to come out added to the already-too-romantic mood. I cared for him, yes, but it wasn’t love. It was being sixteen and stupid. I knew that. Intellectually. Just like I knew he was enjoying this, but his next words were too simple, too easy, to be anything but a lie.

“You let me in.”

“Liar.” I pushed him back, and as unyielding as he’d always been, he moved. His eyes widened, and I could only guess why. Maybe my sudden strength was too much, or maybe he’d been under the impression that I would believe such blasphemous statements.

“I’m not lying to you. Why do you think I started to hear more and more as the year went on? And now I can hear every fascinating thought that runs through that mind of yours, when you aren’t actively blocking me.”

Fascinating thought? Nope. Not going there right now. We had bigger things to deal with.

He sighed.

“Getting back on subject, what’s your mom’s problem anyway? She seems to have a serious case of being a bitch,” I deadpanned.

His lips quirked up in a grin that fell short. Ghosts haunted his eyes. “She wasn’t always this way…but living in this world changes people. My mother envies those more powerful. I’m surprised Tori didn’t warn you…” He trailed off, but I got the distinct impression that there was a lot more to this story than he was letting on.

“She mentioned it, but I’ve been a bit absentminded lately.”

“I knew you would be,” he said. Lucas probably thought I was thinking of him, but my thoughts turned to the summer, and the shitstorm I’d been dealing with because of that warehouse.

I’d stayed away in the beginning of the summer for many reasons. Lily was, and still remained, unstable at best. She was a mess, unable to cope with the guilt of nearly getting us killed—no matter how many times I told her it would take more than a warehouse of demons. That response seemed to work less and less as the days went on, though, and her moodswings got worse. Her anger was rapid and unrestrained. She would lash out, breaking doors, throwing lamps, occasionally sending a fist through a wall. It worried me how little it took to get her there, because I recognized the demon in her eyes. I saw it in my own.

While her anger troubled me, though, it was her depression that terrified me. Just as rapidly as she could throw a fist, she could turn into a sobbing mess—or even worse, become so apathetic that she was unresponsive. It was crushing to see her in distress, because I didn’t know what to do. She didn’t want to be coddled, but she couldn’t seem to pull herself out of it. Hell, she’d almost killed Elizabeth again last week, and I’d finally had to make the call to send her away, against her wishes. She would remain with her best friend Bella until Daizlei started up again next month. Maybe being away from everything would heal her in a way I couldn’t. Maybe then I could finally help her.

I’d come here to help myself work through things, without the craziness of living under one roof with Elizabeth. To give myself time to think. To plan. I hadn’t even set foot off the bus, though, before trouble found me again.

“Tori knows,” I said. The subject change was abrupt, and nearly as uncomfortable as the conversation.

“What?”

“Even if your mother can’t get around me, it won’t matter. She can just go through Tori’s mind and a get a firsthand account of what happened.” I leaned back against the rails, wishing I could just bask in the dying sun for a quiet moment. My brain didn’t know how to shut down anymore, though, and being here with him was only making it worse.

“I’ll take care of my sister.” He rested his elbows on the rail next to me as he stared out.

“And what exactly does that mean?” I pushed, turning to him.

He raised an eyebrow at me, and I glared. “Not even you know all my tricks.” He grinned, clearly amused by my lack of knowledge. “I’ll make you a deal, tit for tat. If you’re honest with me, I’ll be honest with you.”

“I have been honest, you prick. What are you getting at?” I fumed, making the door fly open. I winced, refusing to look.

He only gave me that knowing look. “You need me right now, and you know it. For multiple things.” There was that word again, need. What I needed was a straight answer. “When you’re ready to be honest about that, I’m ready. Until then, I’ll be waiting.” He gave me a smug half smile, and the glass door shattered.

Goddamnit. Clamp it down, Selena. Hold the leash. Force the power back. I breathed slowly.

“Feeling a little on edge?” he prodded, running his fingertips along my cheek, and tucking my hair behind my ear. His scent hit me as he brushed his lips ever so lightly across mine then kissed the corner of my mouth.

I swayed a little, and started to lean in—only to have him pull back.

“I can fix that. Whenever you’re ready.” I didn’t miss the restraint it took for him to step away, but I was livid with myself nonetheless.

“You can share my bed with Tori tonight, and I’ll take her room. Hopefully, it won’t be too…overwhelming.” He winked at me and left the balcony, stepping around the glass.

As pissed off as I was at him for playing me like a fucking fiddle, I knew he meant exactly what he’d said. He wouldn’t force a label on me, or change the way we were, even if that was what he wanted. He would become what I needed, simply to be with me. And…I knew damn well how easy it would be to play this game. When the mind games were over, though, I didn’t think he would like what would be left of us. What would be left of him, when the fire burned out, and his heart was nothing but ash.