The harsh sunlight shined directly against my eyelids, forcing me awake at around noon. “No. Not yet,” I moaned to myself.

I already woke up at six in the morning to take James to school, but the extra six hours of sleep that I got afterward only seemed to make me more tired.

“My head…” My forehead pounded on the left side. My fist hurt from the fight I got into with Trent.

Damn. Trent. I knew that was going to come back to haunt me, but I had no idea when his whole crew would show up knocking on my door. I didn’t want James here when that happened.

I forgot that both Lawrence and Schwartz were still here, so when I walked down the stairs in the nude, I jumped back when Schwartz shoved a plate of pancakes in my chest.

“Put some pants on, dude,” Schwartz said. “My brother is in the kitchen, and though I’m sure he’d be excited to see your pecker, that’s an illegal offense in the state of Idaho.”

I blinked my eyes three times before responding. “Oops.” I turned around and walked upstairs, raising my voice, “You got me wasted last night. I’m not a happy camper today.”

I got dressed and walked downstairs, hastily munching on Schwartz’s delicious pancakes. My mouth was full when I said, “Damn. These are really good. You made these?”

In the kitchen, Schwartz had on a strawberry apron, made for a dainty omega. “I went down to the farmer’s market and got some ingredients. I felt like I needed to repay you, even if it’s a small gift,” Schwartz said, smiling while stirring more mix.

I came up behind him, ready to take him in close to me. It was a split second decision, but I caught Lawrence in the corner of my eye and realized I had to be civil. Last night was just one of those fun things that happen between two guys sometimes. I could deal with that.

I high-fived him instead. “Nice apron. It looks, er, cute,” I said.

Schwartz did a small spin with the eggbeater in his hand. “So, do you wear this around the house when you cook alone?” he asked me.

I shook my head and forked my pancakes. “It was here when I inherited the house,” I lied. Actually, I bought it on sale in a mail catalog, and I loved wearing it, but he didn’t need to know that.

“Hm. Sure,” Schwartz said.

Lawrence audibly moaned. “Can you guys just kiss already? The amount of flirting you do in front of me is a bit cringe-worthy,” Lawrence groaned. He grabbed his headphones and walked into the other room. Schwartz started laughing.

I shrugged. “What’s wrong with him?” I asked.

“Ah, I don’t know. Lawrence is not happy with me today. He doesn’t really want to go back to Nevada,” Schwartz said.

I set down my plate and walked over to the coffee machine. I loaded the filter and clicked the switch on. “Why not? It’s probably nicer there than here,” I said, gazing out at the melting snow. It was almost time for the heat to start rolling in, but we weren’t quite there yet. Just another month or so and we’d be peachy.

Schwartz flipped a pancake on the stove. The smells were intoxicating. “He’s just not doing too well. I shouldn’t be saying too much, but he hasn’t been feeling all that healthy lately.” Schwartz looked off into the distance.

“What, like the flu?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” Schwartz sighed. “Maybe it’s an autoimmune thing. I just can’t afford to go to a doctor right now. Our dad just passed, so that’s why we’re out here fixing roofs. I got a good job offer, but we got totally fucked by my ex-boyfriend.”

I felt awful for him and immediately thought of ways I could help him, but that would involve him staying longer than he probably wanted to. “I’m sorry, guy,” I whispered. “That’s really hard. I know how you feel.”

I thought of my parents. They died only years apart from each other. First, my alpha father went. He worked in the mines and dirty factories all his life, a real working class hero. Eventually, that kind of work catches up to you. He didn’t have much coverage, and there wasn’t much we could do.

My omega dad died shortly after, from what appeared to be heartbreak, rather than old age. He was 58. I didn’t expect it to happen and neither did Trent.

Schwartz leaned against the counter. I could see faint tears in his eyes. “Thank you. I’ve learned to deal with it, you know? When you get to a certain age, you have to put it aside as best you can. But Lawrence has to go back to school, and he hasn’t been fairing well with the kids.”

I wasn’t sure why, but I felt my protective instincts take over. “Like what? Are bullies picking on him? I can talk to some parents if you want,” I said.

Schwartz laughed it off, but I could see the pain in his eyes. I quickly wondered, why the hell do people have to suffer so much just to live? It was a question I’d probably never find the answer to.

“It’ll work itself out. These things always do,” Schwartz said.

But that was just one of those phrases that people said when they knew they had no solution to a problem. I glanced outside and saw Lawrence shivering in the snow, staring off into the distance. He was leaning against the truck, flicking his fingers against his phone.

“We should be outside with him. I’ll grab the engine,” I said. “It’ll give him time to think about something else for a change.”

“That’s a good idea,” Schwartz said. He turned off the burner and unknotted his apron.

“Keep it on. I like it,” I said. Schwartz winked playfully, but he took it off to my dismay.

I picked up the greasy engine and carried it outside into the cold. I set it down on my driveway carefully and groaned when I felt my back strain. I wasn’t ancient yet, but I was getting to the age where little things affected me more. Drinking, physical labor, fighting… fucking. Basically, everything fun in life liked to hurt me.

At least the sex last night was good. No strings attached, pure fun. I also felt like I could trust Schwartz. That was the best thing about this random and relatively awkward situation. Most people didn’t want to be friends with a giant like me. They were either scared of me or they hated my guts. Schwartz felt like a friend, and that felt good.

“What’s up little guy,” I said to Lawrence. “You want to help me put in this engine or what?”

Lawrence side-eyed me and took out his headphones. “Not particularly,” he said.

“Well, come watch. You could learn a thing or two,” I said.

“About old trucks? No thanks,” Lawrence muttered.

Schwartz looked at his brother with annoyance. His smug attitude was pissing me off too, but it was part of the territory of dealing with a sixteen-year-old kid. There were all those emotions and frustrations that went through a guy around that age. Lawrence was just having a bad day, plain and simple.

“If you watch, I’ll take you to the local comic book store six miles away. I’ll buy you fifty dollars worth of those Magick cards, books, or whatever you pick out,” I said. Another bribe for the younger ones, but it always did the trick.

Of course, Lawrence’s eyes lit the fuck up. “Seriously?” he asked.

“Seriously,” I said. “Just be chill and watch us be boring adults. And then when you get older, and you get a car of your own, you’ll know how to mess with a real engine.”

Lawrence laughed, loosening up a little. “Well, I don’t know about that. I’ll probably never be able to afford a car of my own. And when I get to your age, cars will drive themselves, so it seems kind of pointless. But I’ll hang around,” he said.

The kid was too smart for me. I hadn’t thought that far ahead into the future yet. Right now, I was just living day by day. Those Magick cards will cost me a good chunk of my crappy paycheck. But he needed to be able to dream, to think that he might be able to afford something of value someday because sometimes that was all it took for some kids to get out.

I set the engine inside of the hood. I had all my wrenches, cherry picker, sockets, and WD-40 ready. I could feel Schwartz’s eyes focused on my shirtless body. I gave him a quick smile.

“So, Lawrence. The first thing you gotta do is take out the battery and drain the cooling system. Got it?” I asked, looking back at the kid. He was looking at some photo on his phone. I leaned out of the hood and grabbed the device. “You said you’d watch. Come on. I’m not paying you for nothing, guy,” I said.

He angrily grabbed it back. On the screen was a photo of a young kid his age. I looked away, giving him his privacy. But Lawrence was embarrassed and ready to cry. “I said I’d hang around, you nitwit!” Lawrence screamed and ran inside the house.

“Fuck,” Schwartz exhumed air from his lungs and put his hands on top of his head.

“What did I do? I just wanted to keep him attentive,” I said. But I knew I had gone too far by grabbing his phone.

“Just be more gentle with him. He’s more sensitive than he looks. He didn’t get a chance to have a childhood,” Schwartz said, eyes darting with remorse toward the front house windows.

I set down my tools and felt winded. I didn’t want to ruin anyone’s fun. Things over here had been so great. Of course, I had to fuck things up again.

“I’m going to, uh, go inside. I need to apologize to him,” I said.

“You do that,” Schwartz said, eyeing me.

He was a strong older brother for him. As the days with him extended, their family dynamic came out more and more. Schwartz was Lawrence’s father figure now. He was the only one that Lawrence could trust.

I walked inside. My body felt heavy and ached from last night’s shots. Lawrence was near the couch bed, hands shaking. His eyes were open wide with fear. The color of his face drained out from his cheeks. “I feel weak,” he said, voice shaking. “I don’t know what’s going on with me. Please, stay outside with my brother. I don’t want him to keep seeing me like this.”

I grabbed my coat and held out my hand. “Come on. We’re going to see a doctor. Forget the Magick cards,” I said.

Lawrence shook his head. Schwartz opened the front door and slowly stepped inside the house. “I’m going to die. I know it. I’m scared, Jax,” Lawrence whispered, starting to cry. He looked over at Schwartz and lost it, silently weeping against the couch.

Schwartz ran over to Lawrence. For a few seconds, I just stood there and watched him comfort his little brother. “I’m here for you, Lawrence. You’re not going to die. Don’t talk like that. Please.” Schwartz started crying too. I felt the knot form in the center of my throat as I also fought back the tears.

“Schwartzy, I don’t feel like myself. I’m really confused. I get tingly. Do you know what I mean? I don’t know how to explain anything!” Lawrence’s voice turned into a piercing scream.

Schwartz grabbed Lawrence and hugged him tightly. He glanced back at me and whispered, “We have to take him somewhere.”

Even if Schwartz couldn’t afford the tests, I wanted to give that to the kid. People deserved a little dignity when it came to their health because it wasn’t their fault that they were in pain.

“Alright. Let’s go. There’s a doctor a mile from here, and they do blood work and neurological testing,” I said, heart beating fast.

I swung open the door and started my truck. I heated the inside and called for Schwartz to follow. They got in the car, and we sped off.

Lawrence was silent for the ride, but he dried his tears and tried to remain hopeful. Schwartz wasn’t speaking either, and his line of sight was pointed out the window.

I knew what he was feeling. He was feeling guilty for not taking him in sooner, but it wasn’t his fault. Back home, he didn’t have a car. He didn’t have a way to get much. And his father’s illness took him by surprise. Schwartz didn’t want to admit it, but he was a worn down drifter.

“I’m sorry, Lawrence. I let you down,” Schwartz said.

“Now, now. Not here,” I said. “We don’t need to keep playing the blame game. You do what you can. You have a good heart.”

“I don’t blame you, Schwartzy,” Lawrence said. “I just feel like an idiot. I want to be… normal.”

“I know what you’re saying,” I said. “I used to want to be normal. But guess what?”

“What? Being normal isn’t as cool as it seems?” Lawrence asked, sarcastically.

“Exactly. And right now, that might sound like horseshit to you, but it’ll mean something down the road. You’ll realize that what you find as a failure will be the very thing that gives you character,” I said. I felt goose bumps rise against my arms. My words hit too close to home.

* * *

The lobby was purple and murky. It gave me a weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. The cliché music rang above me. I couldn’t take my eyes off of the tropical fish in the small aquarium in front of me.

Almost two hours later, the door finally opened. Schwartz and Lawrence walked out, grim-faced and shocked. “Let’s get into the car. We have to go to the pharmacy.”

“What’s going on? Is everything okay? What exactly did he say?” I had a million questions to ask because I felt worried. In the past few days, I had become closer to these people than my own family.

“I don’t want to talk,” Lawrence said firmly. “Take me to get my steroids, Jax. And then I want to go home and go to sleep. Is that okay with you? Or do I have to aim a pistol at you to get you to understand?”

The kid’s words were harsh, but I had a feeling that the tests came back with something terrible. I didn’t even respond. I just felt the cold resonance build inside of my stomach as the three of us walked to the truck in silence.

“I have MS,” Lawrence whispered. “I have… MS.”

“We don’t know that,” Schwartz said. “He said they think you could have it. It’s not a definite, bub.”

“Schwartzy. Please, stop trying to diminish this. I have it. I know that I do,” Lawrence said.

I felt it a little more than I should have. I staggered to the door and tears started pouring out of my eyes. I thought of James and my family, and all of the horrible things we’ve put each other through. I just wanted to be there for the people I loved but I kept fucking up over and over again. On top of all that suffering, there was this.

I grabbed Lawrence and cried with him. “Come here, Schwartz,” I said, pulling him into the hug. The three of us did something remarkable. We just held each other and cried. We made a pack that day. We wouldn’t let each other down. We would be there for Lawrence, first and foremost, even if they were all the way in Nevada.

We picked up the steroids from the pharmacy to help lower the inflammation of his nerves. Lawrence had more tests to go through. I hated that he would be in Nevada when he underwent those.

I reached into my pocket and felt a few hundred-dollar bills. I was going to buy James some new toys with the money, but I felt like Lawrence and Schwartz needed it to pay the hospital bills.

I set the bills in the center console and eyed Schwartz intently. “Make sure this money goes into the treatment. It’s not much, but it’s what I can give right now,” I said.

Schwartz didn’t reject the offer. He took the money and gently folded it into his pocket. He then grabbed my hand and squeezed. “Thank you,” he said. “For everything.”

I forced a smile and looked into the rearview mirror at Lawrence. “Hey, dude. I want you to teach me how to play Magick when we get home. I’ve seen you set up the cards, but I don’t understand it yet.”

Lawrence wiped the rest of his tears away and smiled back at me. “It’s really fun. It requires strategy,” he said.

“I’ll probably lose then. I’m sort of a go in with guns blazing type of guy,” I said.

“Me too.” Lawrence grinned and reached into his pocket. He pulled out a thin deck of cards. I pulled into my driveway and parked the truck.

“Here, I want you to have this card,” Lawrence said to me. “It’s called The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale. It’s not the best card, but it’s one of my favorites. It can make the game really fun, and it’s pretty rare.”

He set the flimsy card in my hand. The drawing on the front was a castle of some sort. The description below it made no sense to me, but I felt honored that he would even think of me like this during such a time of crises in his life.

“I can’t take this,” I said. “This is your card, Lawrence.”

Lawrence smiled. “And you’ve been a good friend to us. I want you to have it. Please don’t give it back. It would make me feel bad if you did,” he said.

I held the card tightly in my hand. I reached out and grabbed Lawrence’s hand. “Thank you, Lawrence,” I whispered. “You mean a lot to me.”

We walked out, feeling pretty connected. We were trying our best to move forward, and that gave us some semblance of strength. But as soon as I slid the key through the lock of my house, I saw a familiar flashing set of lights turn on behind me, and the cold siren blaring like a futuristic machine gun.

I turned around and saw two cop cars, slowing down to a halt. In the back seat was Trent. “No fucking way,” I muttered under my breath. “You guys should go inside. Whatever is about to happen can’t be good.”

“No,” Lawrence said. “We’re staying here with you.”

Schwartz stepped forward and waved at the police. Sergeant Scott Daily nodded toward me and stepped out of the car. A new officer to the force followed behind with Trent nearby.

“Yep. That’s them. The two twinks and my little brother. They trespassed onto my property, broke my nose, and terrorized me,” Trent said.

“Scott, what’s going on here?” I asked. “What is my brother talking about now?”

“Trent, settle down,” Daily sighed. Then, turning to us, he said, “Look, we need to ask you a few questions because we got a few calls about a disturbance.”

“A disturbance?” I asked.

“A few calls?” Schwartz asked, alongside me. There weren’t any witnesses besides his friends, but if Trent wanted to fuck me over, I wouldn’t put it past him to make them file a report.

“It was an assault,” the new officer said. I looked at his badge. His name was Kent Verdone. Scott Daily glanced at the officer quickly, but he didn’t interject. That pissed me off.

I took a step forward, feeling my anger get the best of me. Every cop knew what Trent was capable of, so it blew my fucking mind that they were here right now, listening to his lies.

“Scott, this is insanity. None of us did anything. Trent stole this man’s engine!” I pointed at Schwartz who backed me up.

“Do you have proof?” Officer Kent Verdone asked.

My body seized up. “Proof? What are you talking about? Scott, what’s he talking about?”

Scott sighed. There was a usual order to things around here. The rookie cops were supposed to follow the older cops’ lead, but ever since the mayor of the city announced he was cracking down on crime, things had started to change. Kent was living proof that I had to get out of this town.

“We can file a report about a stolen engine, but it looks like the engine is here,” Kent said, pointing at the red Ford in my driveway. The hood was open, and the engine was sitting inside.

“That’s because we got it back,” I protested.

“So, you admit that you went to Trent’s house?” Kent asked. Scott eyed me very carefully. Scott was a good man and didn’t want to see me get into any more trouble than I had already gotten into in the past. But I wasn’t doing a good job, and I was far too annoyed to stop talking now.

“Yeah, we got the engine back because Trent stole it. Are you even listening to me?” I asked, taking another step forward.

Scott Daily sighed and took out the handcuffs. I backed up a bit, putting my hands in front of me. “Look, we need to take you and the kid in. We can talk more at the station. If you just comply, it will take—”

But I didn’t give a damn about what he was saying to me. “The kid? What the fuck did he do, Trent? Huh? You piece of shit,” I said. I was beyond fed up.

Trent snickered, bouncing on his heels. “You don’t remember pulling a gun on me, kid?”

“What do you want, Trent? Why can’t you leave me alone?” I stood in front of Lawrence. I wasn’t going to let them take him. Not after his devastating diagnosis. Fuck that.

Trent turned erratic and mean. His hands were shaking with frightening rage. “Give me back my son! You took him from me!” he screamed.

Trent couldn’t reliably take care of James. James used to stumble into his dad’s room and find him passed out with a pipe in his hand. I couldn’t let a kid grow up in that environment.

Trent’s tears were crocodile in nature. When Trent smiled, I couldn’t hold back from engaging with him. Something in me just snapped.

I pushed him away from me as any brother would. I didn’t punch him or crack a bottle over his head. I just pushed him.

Well, apparently, pushing your own brother is a crime. Before I knew it, Kent had his Taser aimed at my chest. He launched the prods at me and clicked the switch. It happened faster than I expected.

I remembered hearing Schwartz and Lawrence’s muffled screams. I felt the paralyzing electricity run through my chest. I fell to the cement, knocking my head.

I blacked out.

Jason Greenman. Lawrence Klein. You have the right to remain silent…” And so on so forth.