Braun couldn’t stop pacing the length of their hotel room—one he imagined was similar in size and shape to Kell’s hiding place. He hadn’t left it since he and Tarek checked in last night, and as the hour drew closer to lunch, Braun was getting stir crazy. At least back at the cottage, he’d had the backyard as a sanctuary. Here he had a tiny deck with a bad view of the river that separated the rest of the city from the Narrows.

Tarek had left early to help escort Kell out of the hospital, since his heat was ending, and all Braun had heard from him since was a text saying he’d be late getting home, but everything was fine.

The text had left Braun unsettled, but he trusted his bondmate.

Except it was almost noon, still no word, and everything in Braun was screaming that something was wrong. He didn’t know with who, but something was wrong. More than once, he raised his phone to call Tarek. Trust kept him from making the call.

At ten past twelve, Tarek gave three quick knocks, followed by two slower ones—their signal. Braun dashed over, double-checked the peek hole, and nearly burst into tears. He yanked open the door, jaw unhinged at the sight of Tarek standing there with an escort. Tarek’s right shoulder was bandaged, his shirt cut away, and his right arm was in a sling. He looked slightly dazed, and all Braun could do was gawk at him.

“They gave him some painkillers at the hospital,” the patrolman said, and Braun finally paid attention. The man looked so familiar—Heely. The constable who’d guarded Braun months ago after a car accident.

The constable who’d delivered Braun to the halfway house that sold omega teenagers.

Heely didn’t seem to recognize him and continued, “The painkillers are why I gave him a ride home.”

“What happened?” Braun asked, glad the man was a beta, not an alpha, because he’d kind of shouted that. He urged Tarek and Heely inside so he could close the door.

“Well, your brother was on an elevator with his escort team, and a nurse tried to shoot him.”

“What!” Braun’s shock let him accidentally push Tarek onto the couch in an undignified sprawl. “Is Kell okay?”

“He’s fine, his lawyer protected him. Constable Bloom got in the way and took a bullet. Gunman’s in custody, but as far as I’ve heard, he isn’t talking.”

“Don’t be mad, firecracker,” Tarek said with an odd slur to his words. “Did my job.”

“You saved my brother, you big dork.” Braun sat next to him and held Tarek’s cheeks in his palms. “Thank you so much for protecting him.”

“Anything for you.”

Heely cleared his throat, then set a pill bottle on the nearest flat surface. “These are for the pain, as needed.”

“Don’t need ‘em.” Tarek sneered at the bottle. “Hate not being able to think clearly.”

“It’ll wear off,” Braun said. “You should take a nap.”

Braun stood to show Heely out. “Thank you for bringing him home.”

“You’re welcome.” Heely ducked into the hall, then lowered his voice. “I didn’t want to say anything in front of your alpha, but I’m so sorry for the part I played in that halfway house. I had no idea Fynn was selling omegas, I swear to you.”

Heely seemed so earnest about the apology that Braun decided to believe him. “Thank you. I was one of the lucky ones.”

“Yes, well, take care of Constable Bloom, all right?”

“I will.”

Braun shut and locked the door, unsurprised to see Tarek out cold on the couch. Tarek, who’d been shot this morning, but was alive and drooling on himself a little. Braun yanked until Tarek was more or less horizontal, so he wouldn’t wake up with a crick in his neck, then hunted through his pockets for his phone.

Technically, Braun couldn’t call Kell. Technically, Tarek’s phone could call Ronin’s phone without it being an issue. And even though Tarek was home safe and sound, the pit of unease in Braun’s gut wasn’t going away.

Ronin answered quickly. “Hey, man, how’s the shoulder?”

“Tarek’s passed out on the couch,” Braun replied. “Is Kell really okay?”

“Physically, he’s fine. He blames himself for Tarek getting hurt, and he’s convinced you’ll be angry with him about it.”

“What? Of course I’m not angry. Can I speak to him? Briefly, please? I promise I won’t ask about the case.”

Ronin hesitated. “Give me a moment.”

Braun listened as Ronin knocked on a door, and then told Kell who was on the phone. The fact that Kell had retreated, instead of relying on his alpha for support, told Braun volumes about his brother’s mental state. The door clicked open, and Kell whispered, “Thank you.”

Another click.

“Braun?”

He nearly peed with joy at hearing Kell’s voice on the phone. “Hey, you. I miss you.”

“Same. I take it you know what happened?”

“Yes, Tarek was delivered home to me by a fellow constable. He explained what happened. Are you okay?”

“Of course I’m not okay! Your mate got shot because of me.”

“He got shot doing his job. I’m not thrilled, but he’s fine. It’s not your fault someone tried to kill you.”

“People keep getting hurt because of me. Tarek’s been shot. You’ve been terrorized by phone calls, and now you’re both in hiding. I murdered my own mate, for fuck’s sake!”

The vehemence with which Kell spoke of murdering Krause sent a chill down Braun’s spine. Goose bumps pebbled his neck and shoulders. Had Kell remembered something? Braun bit down hard on his very unhappy tongue to stop himself from asking. He’d promised Ronin he wouldn’t talk about the case.

“You need to stop blaming yourself for everything,” Braun said, putting as much force into the words as possible. “Stop it right now. All kinds of crazy shit is happening, and if anyone is to blame for any of it, it’s Krause-fucking-Iverson, that’s who. He abused you for years, and I don’t give a shit who killed him, the scumbag got what he deserved. You, on the other hand? Kell, you don’t deserve any of this. Not a single bit of it.

“You always deserved a kind, loving alpha. You took care of me when Father didn’t. You practically raised me after Omegin died. You are so strong, and you should have had Ronin this entire time, but you didn’t. Bad luck doesn’t mean you deserve pain and fear. I wish I could take all your pain away, and have it happen to me instead.”

“No! Don’t say that, Braun, not ever. If anyone hurt you even a fraction of the ways Krause hurt me, I’d murder them, too. With my bare hands and teeth, I’d rip his throat out.”

Braun blinked back tears at the strength in Kell’s voice now. “And then I’d do everything in my power to protect you from harm or the authorities, like I’m doing now. You’re going to be okay, Kell, I know it. You aren’t finally free of Krause for me to lose you a second time. I won’t allow that to happen.”

“What if you can’t stop it?”

“There are ways.” Braun wanted to tell his brother about the sanctuary far out in the wilderness, where omegas lived alongside betas and a few alphas as equals. They’d take Kell into their care in a heartbeat, if the jury ruled against Kell. Tarek would help Braun break Kell out of jail, and they could all four go live there.

Worst case scenario only.

Tarek and Ronin both had jobs they loved and family who would miss them if they disappeared. But Braun knew in his heart that they loved their omegas enough to leave it all behind to protect them.

It was the kind of love Kell always should have had.

And even after the worst of Krause’s abuse, Braun had never heard Kell speak so poorly of himself—as if removing Kell from their lives would somehow magically make everything better.

His thoughts ground to a halt.

Kell would never think of suicide…would he?

“I just want things to be over,” Kell said. “It’s the waiting and wondering that’s the worst.”

“I can’t imagine how you feel, brother. But you can tell me. I’ll listen.”

“No, it isn’t fair to put these fears on your shoulders. I’ll get through it. I always do.”

“But you don’t have to get through it alone, this is what family is for. I need you to stay positive and to fight. I need Uncle Kell to be around in the future.”

Kell made a soft noise. “But you said you used condoms during your heat?”

“Oh, we did, I’m not pregnant yet, but during my next heat, we’re going to officially mate. Only once without a condom, so if I happened to get all the family fertility genes, I’ll need my big brother.”

Kell laughed at that. “Understood. Aren’t you scared of having a child?”

“Terrified, actually, but Tarek would be an amazing father, and if he gets that chance, I’ll be the very best omegin I can possibly be to our child.” Braun didn’t use to believe those words about himself, but now he did. Tarek was an incredible partner, he’d be an even more incredible mate, and if they had a child?

Tarek would fucking shine like the stars.

Braun suddenly realized what he’d said to Kell, whose only son had been taken away from him. “Fuck, Kell, I’m sorry, babbling on about kids like this.”

“It’s okay.” Kell’s voice was rough and near tears, but also firm. “I’ll always miss Branson, but I find some comfort in believing he’s with an amazing beta couple who love him.”

“But what if you never have another?”

“Then I don’t. Hell, I needed a doctor to clear me for penetration during heat, so I have a funny feeling I’m done bearing children.”

At only twenty-four, that was an incredibly sobering realization for any omega to make, much less one who’d nearly died birthing his only son. “I’m so sorry.”

“It is what it is, Braun. I can’t change it. Even if I somehow did manage to conceive and carry to term, I’d probably need a C-section, and those are almost more dangerous than a live birth.”

Braun flinched. He’d heard stories of omegas whose care was handled by a doctor ill-equipped to properly manage a C-section, mostly because they were done so rarely. Omegas who bled out, who suffered severe gastro-intestinal issues afterward, of terrible scarring and even complete loss of heat.

He didn’t want any of those things for his brother.

“All I want is for you to be safe and happy,” Braun said.

“Well, right now I’m safe. Maybe the happy will come with time.”

“I hope it does. I love you, Kell.”

“Love you too, brother.”

The phone was passed back to Ronin. “You two okay?” Ronin asked.

“I’m not sure. Keep an eye on him, please? He doesn’t seem like himself.”

“He’s been through a trauma, Braun, and immediately following heat.”

“I know but…he’s so down on himself. It worries me. I just…watch him, yeah?”

“I’ll do my best.”

“Thank you. And thank you for letting us speak.”

“You’re welcome. Now go take care of your alpha.”

Braun hung up. Tarek probably wouldn’t check, but Braun deleted the call record anyway. Less antsy now that he’d spoken to Kell, Braun settled in near Tarek’s softly snoring head to watch television and try to forget things for a while.

Easier said than done.

* * *

Ronin turned Braun’s words over in his head for a long time after the phone call.

“He doesn’t seem like himself.”

“Watch him.”

Coupled with Kell’s own words and actions after the shooting, the only possible interpretation of Braun’s warnings was Kell could be pondering suicide. He’d certainly been through enough trauma, not only because of the trial, but from his relationship with Krause. Freeing himself to the neverlife might seem like the only possible option right now.

Determined not to let Kell continue thinking that, Ronin hid the gun in a new spot, and then went about calling in several deliveries. He paid with his card, and gave instructions to knock and leave the items outside the door. If news about the hospital shooting wasn’t already out, it soon would be, and he didn’t need random deliverymen seeing his face.

Kell remained in his room, and Ronin resisted the urge to knock every ten minutes to make sure Kell was okay. There was nothing in the room Kell could use against himself, except for a lamp cord, but there was nothing to tie it to—and he really needed to stop assuming the worst. Braun was worrying, as brothers did.

His omega was not suicidal.

Ronin’s treats arrived over the course of the afternoon, and by dinnertime, he had a nice spread of Kell’s favorite things on the counter, a bottle of wine open and breathing, and a bowl of chocolate-covered peanuts in his hand. He carried them to Kell’s door and knocked. “It’s dinnertime, love.”

Several beats passed before Kell opened his door. He seemed wide-awake and rested, which made Ronin’s heart trill. Ronin hated seeing his omega down and defeated, and he’d been eerily silent during the earlier car ride home.

Kell’s gentle smile widened when he spotted the candy treat. “Oh my goddess, Ronin, you didn’t have to.”

“Of course I did. It’s proper behavior to spoil my omega after a heat.”

Kell seemed to war with himself for a moment, before reaching out and snaring a single peanut from the bowl. He popped it into his mouth and chewed, his expression going nearly orgasmic. “I love these so much.”

“Have more.”

“Oh, they’re expensive. I need to savor them.” He did take possession of the bowl, though. “Would you like one?” Instead of offering the bowl, Kell put one between his own lips and, with an impish smile, leaned up on his toes.

How was Ronin supposed to resist? He took the candy from Kell with his own mouth, taking a moment to let his lips linger in a proper kiss. Kell seemed in better spirits, at least, as he followed Ronin into the kitchen to inspect their spread.

Over the course of living together, he’d gotten some of Kell’s preferred foods out of him, and they lay strewn on the counter. Ham and bacon pizza, crab risotto, fish tacos, popcorn with lots of butter, and more lay in boxes and bowls. Kell stared with wide eyes.

“You did all this for me?” he asked.

“I didn’t cook, but my takeout game is on point,” Ronin replied. “I wanted my omega to have everything he might possibly want. Plus, we won’t need to cook for at least a week, with all these leftovers.”

Kell laughed out loud, then looped his free arm around Ronin’s waist. Ronin slid his arm across Kell’s shoulders and savored the heat of his omega against his body. One of the single greatest honors and joys of Ronin’s life had been being asked to knot Kell twice during his heat. His omega deserved every possible comfort in life, and Ronin planned to give it to him.

“How did you get to be so amazing?” Kell asked.

“My omegin raised me right.”

“I’d love to meet him one day. I’d love to meet both your parents, actually.”

Ronin relaxed even more hearing his omega speak about the future and making plans to spend it with Ronin. “That can definitely be arranged. When the trial’s over, we’ll take a train out to my province. They’ll love you to bits.”

Some of Kell’s excitement dimmed, and Ronin could have punched himself for mentioning the trial. But they couldn’t ignore it. It was part of their lives and would begin again soon—although Ronin had every intention of asking for a continuance so he could review the footage Jenks found.

He’d stew in his own hatred and fury while he watched, but it needed to be done. If Ronin had his way, no other omegas would suffer the indignities and abuse Kell had suffered. No one deserved that sort of treatment, especially not those tasked with bearing and raising the next generation.

Kell’s eyes gleamed as he fixed a plate from the food available, taking a little bit of everything. Ronin did the same, because a few of the things he’d ordered, he’d never tried, like crab risotto. And Ronin wanted to know the flavors of the things Kell preferred, so he could learn to cook them himself. Maybe it was nontraditional for an alpha to cook for his omega, rather than the other way around, but Ronin didn’t care.

Nothing about their relationship had been traditional so far, so why start now?

Ronin wasn’t terribly fond of the fish taco, but he ate the whole thing anyway to please his mate. The pizza was excellent, as was the potatoes au gratin. Ronin ate his fill, overjoyed that Kell finished his entire plate. He didn’t go back for seconds, which was fine. Kell was still working up to eating more and more at each meal, and he’d gained some weight since he’d come to live with Ronin.

His dark brown hair had also grown out a bit and curled around his ears in an adorable way. Ronin longed to reach out and stroke those curls, but that wasn’t appropriate dinnertime behavior. Maybe later, if Kell felt like cuddling on the couch during a movie.

“You’re going to watch the videos of me, aren’t you?” Kell asked.

The question startled Ronin into nearly dropping his wine glass. He gaped at Kell, who was watching him with a perfectly calm expression. “I have to. I don’t want to, believe me, but if there’s anything on them that can help us sway the jury, I need to know.”

“I understand.” Kell reached out and squeezed Ronin’s wrist. “It’s one of the things I’ve been thinking about all afternoon. I hate that you’re going to see me like that. You’re going to hear me crying, screaming, and begging, and I hate that. But I do understand why it’s necessary.”

“I promise you, Kell, I won’t think any less of you for whatever I see in those videos. Nothing could change the way I feel about you. I know we said it during heat, but I do love you.”

Kell turned his wrist so they were palm to palm. “I love you too. I also need to talk to you about something.”

“Anything, you know that.”

“It’s about the heat.” His cheeks flushed. “I, um, thank you for your help in getting me through it, and I thoroughly enjoyed our, um, knotting.”

Ronin smiled; he’d seen this coming. “But you aren’t ready for penetrative sex between us.”

Kell’s eyebrows lifted and he nodded. “No, I’m not. To be honest, Ronin, I can’t think of non-heat intercourse as anything except painful and frightening. Krause was never careful, and it always hurt.”

“Then we won’t do that. Not ever, if it’s what you want.”

Disbelief flashed in Kell’s eyes. “You can say that now, but what about a month from now when you’re horny, want satisfaction, and your omega says no?”

“Then I’ll go into the bathroom and jerk off.” Ronin slid off his chair to kneel in front of Kell. He took both of his omega’s hands and held them to his own chest. “I will never force you to do anything you don’t want to do. Not have sex, not eat something you don’t like, nothing. Relationships aren’t about force, or about raising one person’s needs over the other. It’s working together as equals in everything.”

“But if we’re truly equal, your sexual needs matter as much as my dislike of certain acts.”

“That’s why we compromise, little one. I don’t require penetrating you in order to achieve climax. And…I wouldn’t be entirely opposed to trying it the other way around.”

Kell’s entire face went bright red. “You’re lying. An alpha would never lie down for an omega.”

“This alpha would.” Ronin leaned forward, his dick stirring at the idea of Kell bent over him, fucking Ronin. “He would do it in a heartbeat.”

“I…” Kell studied his face a moment. “I believe you. I’m not entirely sure I could, but I believe you’d let me.”

“It isn’t about letting you do something, it’s about us creating something. I just want you to know it’s on the table.”

Kell’s eyes flashed wide, and Ronin realized what he’d said. His own mental image of himself bent over the table and Kell taking him from behind had blood pooling in Ronin’s groin. Ronin grinned, and Kell relaxed. While Ronin had never been penetrated before, he had no doubt that with Kell it would feel amazing.

No one had sex that night, though. After they both cleaned up and stored the leftovers, Kell retreated to the couch to watch TV. Ronin sat next to him and remained a presence while he worked on his argument for continuance. The prosecutor would likely want the same thing, since they got the tapes at the same time, but Ronin liked being prepared.

He had to be prepared for anything. Kell’s future was at stake.