SILAS: A Playboy’s Lair Novel (Part Two)—Sneak Peek
When did I get this fucking soft? My reputation precedes me. Arrogant. Cocky. Ruthless. My competitors wish to imitate me, men wish they could be me, and women wish for the chance to fuck me. My reflection stares back at me, illuminated by the flames from the fire pit. I don’t recognize this man. He is a shell of who I once was. The truth is, he’s been missing since Brennan showed up on my deck. Unbeknownst to me, a void existed in my life. One that she filled so easily. She chipped away at the armor I erected—the armor that transitioned me from a boy with feelings to a man with goals. These goals drove me to the success that I have been able to acquire. Neither love nor emotions were ever part of that equation. That mentality has allowed me to dominate the sex industry and to be the most sought-after billionaire bachelor to date.
I let my guard down for the appeal of innocence and naïvety. Foolish to think those attributes weren’t a threat. In hindsight, Brennan was the most dangerous of them all. She slipped through my defenses, underestimated. She made me want something that has no place in my life. Love. I could honestly see myself building something with her. Then out of nowhere, Jasper appears back in my life. With her came all the dormant feelings that I thought were long gone. My present and my past collided, taunting me and exposing my one weakness.
I have to find a way to turn it off. This fucking key around my neck is my armor. My truth. I must repel anything and anyone who threatens its purpose. My mind has been compromised—my flesh weak. My heart needs to be at its strongest. I watch as Jasper leans back on the loveseat, unbothered by Brennan’s intrusion moments ago. She sips on her glass of red wine with her legs crossed. I’ve tuned out what she’s said over the past couple of minutes. Instead, my mind drifts back to the conversation with Brennan some hours ago. Well, her accusation since she did all the talking. Disdain dripped from her words, her intent … malicious. She wanted to hurt me. She used verbal assault to do what she always did … run. So quick to judge, no benefit of the doubt given. She was too eager to believe the worst about me, thus successfully removing my blinders.
I watched the hurt in her eyes when she found me sitting here with Jasper, no doubt assuming the worst and creating the fictional scenarios in her head that she is so good at. I ignored the sinking feeling in my stomach, the hero complex that wanted to reach out and comfort her. She was met with a façade, an acceptable version of myself. Gone is the emotional ridden Silas. I will maintain this veneer until it becomes my truth yet again. Cold. Calculating. Impenetrable.
“You haven’t said much,” Jasper says after she notices my lack of response. I honestly have no clue what the hell she has even said.
“Hmmm. What was that?”
“We’re you even listening?” She uncrosses her legs and leans forward to see my face.
I take a sip of my Macallan. “Not really.”
“What was the point of asking me to your room then? I thought you wanted to clear the air,” she replies frustrated.
“You assumed wrong. I haven’t decided how I want to proceed. I summoned you here to decipher your true motive for being here. Only you chose to use the time to take a walk down memory lane, all while ignoring the amount of deceit involved to sneak aboard.”
“I already laid it all out earlier. I explained my reasoning for everything. There was no other choice for me. I had to do whatever it took to see you again,” she professes. “I was just trying to help you remember a happier time between us.”
“None of it changes the facts. You plotted and executed a lie to get on board. That doesn’t foster trust. Instead, it reveals your capability; the lengths you will go to get what you want.”
“But it was for you.”
I finish the last of my scotch and stand. This visit is over. The warmness I regarded her with, gone. Her argument is invalid. While I might see her perspective, I’m finding it hard to justify her actions. I can’t help but think that ulterior motives may be at play here. I need to choose my next move wisely. The nostalgia of seeing her again has worn off, allowing me to think a bit clearer.
“It’s getting late. I don’t have an answer for you tonight. Your story is being validated, so we’ll talk again tomorrow. This is good night.”
I don’t know what she hopes will be the outcome of all this. I’ve had some time to think about my options. It seems I only have one clear choice. Step back from them both. I recognize my weakness, and I’m choosing to eradicate it. Nobody will possess power over me. Fuck emotions. I was better off before without them. And definitely no more fucking my employees. I’m going to keep my business and sex life separate.
Jasper stands and tips back her glass to finish her wine. “I was going to wait to tell you this because I didn’t want you to think I was trying to influence your decision to let me stay. Only now, it doesn’t seem like anytime will be a good time. So before I go, I must confess something.”
She kicks off her stilettos and brings them to her chest. She looks away from me and fixates on the fire. She starts at the beginning, revealing the most important piece of the puzzle that she kept from me earlier.
My fucking world as I know it shatters into a million pieces. In mere seconds, she has managed to unravel any plans I may have hoped to make. She was holding the ace of spade, and she just played that motherfucker. Fuck me. I’m rendered speechless as she walks away hugging those stupid stilettos to her chest. If her plan all this time was to come aboard and wreck my life, she has succeeded. Now what the hell am I going to do?