1 week later
Today is my off day. It’s beautiful Saturday morning, yet I’m held up in my cabin. I watch the guests get off the yacht here in St. Kitts. I quit a week ago, but Kassius convinced me to stay. It was the hardest decision I’ve ever had to face. Going back to the Neumanns wasn’t an option. My only two choices were to stay or to leave and struggle to find somewhere to stay. I don’t have a credit history or rental history—nothing to make anyone want to rent to me. The choice was painfully obvious. Kassius had promised to help me once we arrive back in Florida, so I just have to hold on until then.
Things between us aren’t exactly as they were before, but I’ve agreed that we could start over. No lies this time around. He talked to Silas for me to reinstate my job. Luckily, I didn’t have to tuck my tail between my legs and beg. My phone was replaced, and the little thing called the cloud saved the pics I had taken on the other one. For that I’m grateful. There are even a couple of pics that I snuck of him that I try not to look at. He’s not thinking about me, and I’d do well to do the same. I was transferred from the aft to the job I was originally hired for. I haven’t seen Silas since. His normally open retractable ceiling has been closed to the pool below.
I’ve swum laps every night this week at midnight, telling myself that I’m just getting back to my routine. Failing miserably to convince myself that I’m not hoping to run into him. I know that Jasper is still on this boat, so it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to guess he’s probably back with her. There was no landing of the helicopter when we docked in Barbados, and I’m sure it isn’t coming now that we’ve docked again. Jasper is on this boat to stay. The sooner I accept that, the better off I’ll be.
Yes, I said some hateful things. I ran. Then I chased him off with my hurtful words. This time he has given up the chase. He has the person he’s supposed to be with, so I’m of no consequence, but my heart still aches for him. He didn’t fight for me. For us. Did he ever want it to be an us? I hate that things ended the way they did, but I hate it even more that things are irreparable.
I didn’t get off the boat in Barbados, so through the rotation, I’m able to get off now. What’s the point, though? I’m numb, and no amount of picture taking is going to rectify that. I just want to order room service, binge on reality TV, and hide away in my cabin.
I flip through the channels, restlessly. Work. Eat. Swim. Sleep. Repeat. This has become my life. Luckily, I’ve had little contact with Tory. Atticus has taken over as my immediate boss. He’s never mentioned any of the drama, and for that I’m grateful. I’m taking it a day at a time—trying to move on. Hopefully, things will get easier once I’m off this boat—away from the memory of him.
I’m startled by a knock on my door. I’m not expecting anyone. Hell, I’m still wearing my pajamas. I begrudgingly get up to answer.
“Um, you look like shit, buttercup,” Kassius announces as he walks past me.
“Thanks. Nobody else has to see me, so whatever. Aren’t you getting off the boat with everyone else?”
“Yes, and that’s why I’m here. I’ve come to collect you.”
“Collect me?”
“You’ve been a hermit long enough. You need some fresh air. You’re getting off this boat with me.” He walks over and plops himself on my unmade bed. He pulls the remote from under his ass, that he mistakenly sat on, and clicks off the television.
“Thanks for the offer, but—”
“Oh buttercup, I wasn’t offering. This is an intervention. I won’t take no for an answer,” he responds, cutting me off. I stare at him blankly. “Don’t just stand there. Go shower and wash your hair. We have a full day ahead of us.”
He crosses his arms and put his feet up. I want to fight him on this, but maybe I do need some fresh air. “You’re insufferable; you know that?”
“Yep. Now chop-chop. Do you need me to pick you out something to wear?”
“No!” I say a little to forcefully. What is it about the Lair men and their need to go through my things? The last thing I need is his judgment at my options. He is always so put together. “I mean I got it. I won’t be long.”
I quickly pull out a pair jean cutoffs that I cut at the knees with my nicest tank top. With my back blocking his view, I grab my undergarments from the drawer before heading off to get ready. I swear he is so bossy, just like his cousin.
It takes me about a half an hour to look presentable. Kassius is dressed in a designer labeled button-down short sleeve shirt and knee-length shorts. His muscular build fills them out well. We look totally opposite on the fashion scale, yet he doesn’t seem to care. He jumps off the bed to help me with my top knot. I can’t help but giggle.
“What’s so funny?” He looks at me puzzled as he secures the elastic around my still damp hair.
“You. I miss thinking you were gay. You helping with my hair is just a reminder. I’ve never really had a girlfriend before, and I had already claimed you.”
“Hey now. You can’t unclaimed me. You’re stuck with me. I’m still me—just your boyfriend now.”
There is a pregnant pause between us. I know what he means. He’s still my friend who is a boy, but the comment sounds different from when I say girlfriend. Kassius is undeniably sexy, so to know that he sees me from a straight man’s eyes makes things a little awkward. Not that I think he’s interested in me; it’s just now it’s just different than before.
“There. You’re good,” he says adjusting my top knot. I give him a megawatt smile. “Come on, crazy girl.”
And just like that, the awkwardness melts away.
“Wait. You’re missing one thing.” He pulls off the shades resting on his head and puts them on my eyes. “There. Perfect.”
“I’m pretty sure these cost more than my whole outfit,” I protest. I try to remove them, but he taps my hands.
“Hush. They look better on you, and they complete your ensemble.” He winks at me, and I’m glad I’m wearing the shades. It doesn’t have the same effect as when Silas does it, but I’m not sure how it makes me feel is exactly friendly either.
“Ensemble? You’re wearing an ensemble. I’m wearing shorts I made with flip-flops. I don’t think my outfit would qualify as such.”
I chuckle, and he pulls me into a bear hug. I inhale the scent of his cologne, and I’m almost tempted to hug him tighter. I don’t, though. What the hell is wrong with me. He tousles my hair in a sisterly way, and I’m brought back to the present.
“What am I going to do with you, woman? Who cares about the actual definition of ensemble? You look nice, and my sunglasses looks great on you. Enough said. Let’s do this.”
He heads to the door, leaving me no choice but to follow. I quickly grab my ChapStick, debit card, ID, and room key card before stuffing everything in my pockets. “Ready,” I announce.
He looks as if he’s going to say something, but then he just gives me another wink. He is going to have to stop that. I bet he has no idea he’s doing it—kind of like a reflex. Still, it’s confusing. It’s sexy. It’s hard not see him as an available hot guy when he does that. He’s sweet to me, and he’s gorgeous—bad combination. My heart is still broken from the other Lair cousin. I’ll just have to be extra careful not to let rebound emotions get the best of me. Kassius and I are working to rebuild our friendship. Friendship. Nothing more.
Kassius and I get off the yacht just in time to see the man who plagues my every waking thought. And he is not alone. Jasper is with him. She’s wearing shorts that barely cover her ass cheeks with an off the shoulder halter top. Even I have to admit she looks amazing. Her Hercules sandals come up to her knees. A black limo pulls up, and I watch as Silas places a hand at the small of her back to guide her to get in. Again, I’m thankful for the sunglasses. I fight the tears that threaten to fall. I finally look away rather than watch him get in with her. I don’t want to watch them drive away.
Kassius grabs my hand and squeeze. No words are needed. He was witness to the same scene that just played out in front of me. It’s one thing to know Silas had been with her, but it is another thing to see it. I don’t even know how I can put one foot in front of the other at the moment, let alone spend the day with Kassius. I want to be alone. I want to be hurt in private—not in front of him.
“Where do you want to go first, buttercup?”
I look back toward the ship, but before the words can leave my mouth, my suggestion is shot down.
“Anywhere, but there. You’re not going back to your room. Today, you’ll enjoy yourself. Today is about you.”
“That’s a tall order,” I say barely above a whisper—afraid the hurt will be evident in my voice.
“That’s okay. Challenge accepted,” he assures me.