The afternoon of tree climbing ended with Matt’s body in one piece. His mother would have died if anything had happened to the boy. I couldn’t count how many times I pictured him falling off that tree, breaking every branch on his way down until he hit the ground. Ascending that spruce had mentally drained me. Feeling a need to stretch my muscles, I asked Father John whether he wanted to take a walk though the woods. The kids were in their cabins, reflecting, which meant that we had an hour or so of free time.

“Can I ask you a personal question, Father?”

“Of course.”

“How did you do it? How did you fight thoughts about women? How did you fulfill your celibacy promise?”

Because honestly, I never thought keeping my hands to myself would be this difficult.

“Through prayer.”

“That’s it? Prayer is my answer?”

“Prayer should be the answer to most of your questions. But it doesn’t mean that we don’t make mistakes. I try to think of those moments as little tests. Sometimes we fail, but more times than not, we pass. With time, you will learn to find that ultimate fulfillment through prayer as well. It may not be today or tomorrow, but it will happen.”

“So, thinking about a woman is not necessarily wrong?”

He laughed as if I’d told him a joke.

“You’re not the first and not the last priest to have sinful thoughts about a woman. God created you as a man first, before you made the choice to serve Him, and to serve Him well means time and patience. It doesn’t mean a mistake-free life. It means learning from your mistakes to serve Him even better.”

“Yes, but how do I stop this need I feel inside me? It’s like she’s compelling me.”

“Believe me, son. I understand what it feels like to let go of a woman. But if we can fight evil through prayer, you can fight your desires though prayer as well. Remember, it’s no one’s choice but yours.”

I stopped and waited for him to turn and face me. I wasn’t sure that he was grasping the weight of the situation. If I let her do what I knew she wanted to do to me, and told her the feeling was reciprocated, I could place her in danger. She could fall pray to the Cortez brothers, because if they found me, anyone connected would also be in danger.

“Father, I want her to sin with me. I want her to want me the way I want her. It pleases me when I see her weakness, but at the same time, it angers me. I don’t want to be the reason her faith is tested.”

“This girl, is she a devout Catholic?”

“Yes, she is.”

“Those are the worst.” He chuckled and resumed our slow walk.

What? Did he actually think this conversation was funny? Because I didn’t.

“Catholic women are our biggest temptation.” He raised his finger as if he were thinking back to a specific time in the past. “Like I said before, you’re not the first and not the last. The question is, what do you do about it when prayer doesn’t seem like it’s enough?”

Yes, that’s what I want to know!

It was better to be direct, wasn’t it? It was better to ask him the question that had been on my mind since Kate told me about the photograph in his office. I’d seen it myself, and the look on their faces was one of love. Not only that, but I was beginning to realize that the possibility of Kate’s mother being closer to Father John was great.

“What did you do, Father?”

He stopped and then closed his eyes for a moment. Father John took a deep breath in before releasing it and resuming his walk. I followed his lead.

“You have a keen listening ear, Cameron. What did I do? What didn’t I do?” he snickered.

Oh, boy!

“Joanna was a beautiful woman. Her parents died in a house fire outside of town, but she remained very close to God. Her strength intrigued me. She had the ability to push me closer to God and closer to herself at the same time. For a while there, I believed that God had sent her to me and only me. I wanted her to sin with me just so that I could take a little trip to hell only to feel the high of God’s forgiveness on my way back to heaven, even when I knew that forgiveness could take the rest of my lifetime. Now that’s a true temptress.”

I could have sworn that Father John was reciting a passage from someone else’s life. It couldn’t be his. His life seemed so frail and tepid, but the lines on his forehead and wrinkles underneath his eyes were evidence of experience I had yet to reach.

“So, what happened?” I asked.

“I sinned. I confessed. I repented and was forgiven. And I will continue with my penance until the day I die, because I’ll never be perfect. It’s a circle every human endures, including a priest.”

Wow, I thought my father was deep, but this man had my mind spinning. He and my father would have gotten along well.

“What about Joanna?”

“Joanna – that sounds odd. I called her Anna, short for Joanna, but never Joanna She got hurt and got into trouble with some people in town. Bad and crazy people. She feared for her life, so she had to leave. I stayed behind to cover her tracks. I stayed behind to bury our son. I had to ensure that they didn’t follow her, but two months later I was told she had died on her journey.”

“You had a son?”

He nodded. “He was dragged by a bull halfway across town. After that year, Pace never celebrated the Assumption Fiesta again, at least not in the same way, and the bull running was banned. Over the years, the fiesta became what we call our summer pot luck.”

“I’m so sorry,” I said.

“Years heal. Maybe not completely, but enough to survive. But Anna didn’t die.”

“What?”

Wait – of course she didn’t, because Kate’s mother had Kate.

“She didn’t die, but by the time I realized she was still alive, I was already a priest. I chose the vocation as soon as I found out she was gone. There was nothing else left for me, and the only way I could ever find my fulfillment and make sense of my life was to serve God. I thought I’d lost a wife-to-be and a son.”

“And Anna? How did you find out that she lived?”

“She secretly returned to town, but it was already too late for the two of us. The Cortez brothers caught her. They caught both of us. Benjamin Cortez told me that he lied about Anna’s death as vengeance. He even went as far as stealing the postcards she’d sent me, in order to keep us apart.”

Cortez and Kate were connected; just as I’d suspected.

“Why vengeance?”

“Because he accused Anna of keeping his son away from him.”

“What? She had another son?”

“No, we only had Mikey. Benjamin was crazy. They were all crazy. I could never understand what good came from the torment they put us through.”

“What happened next?”

“We tried to escape, and Benjamin Cortez fell to his death down a canyon. Benjamin’s skeletal remains were collected years later, and his family went into hiding. My life was spared for his brother’s that day, but my hot-tempered Anna managed to anger the Cortez family while ensuring the safety of our little town. She might have been my temptress, but I think in a way she was God’s worker.”

“What did she do?”

“I remember the year clearly. It was 1984. Anna made sure the Cortez brothers had a big target on their backs. The rumors say it was a fifty-million-dollar target, and that was thirty-some years ago.”

Was he telling me that Kate’s mother knew what had happened to the money? Did Kate know? Had she played me? No, that wasn’t possible. Maybe that’s why her mother had mentioned Pace to her daughter. Did Jack from Pace know about the money? Had he hidden it? Was that why she was looking for him?

“You never saw her again after she left?”

“No, never. But I always prayed and hoped that she’d be happy. As far as I know, she’s led a happy and fulfilling life. Pace gave her the exact start she needed. It gave her the focus and inner peace she sought. It made her strong and determined to survive. I’ve prayed every day for her safety and a good life.”

Kate had to be wrong about the man she was looking for. Her mother had to have said John Pace, not Jack. She wanted to get in touch with her first love. What if Father John had the money and didn’t even know it? I bet he didn’t know Anna had a daughter, either.

Father John’s story was the saddest one I’d ever heard. It pained my heart to know that two people who seemed to have loved each other so much had been forced apart. Or maybe their love had guided them on the right path; after all, they’d been able to eliminate one of the strongest crime families in the country, which at one time had deep roots in this town.

“You’ve been at this parish your entire life, haven’t you, Father?” I asked.

“Yes, I have.”

“How is that even possible?”

“I think the church wanted Pace to get lost among the papers. Our little town hasn’t always had a good reputation. I’d like to believe that Pace and its residents were given a new chance, but I can’t say that it’s been easy. When I look across the street from the church at the Bistro, I still get the heebie-jeebies. The Cortez family ran that place almost to the ground; yet now it’s a pub anyone can enjoy. Peace replaced chaos.”

“So in a way, Pace has an invisible hero.”

“Not an invisible one. The hero is God. Whomever stole that money and hid it did so very well.”

“You know who it is, don’t you, Father?”

“I’m a priest, son. Sinners confess, they’re forgiven, and they repent. Eventually everyone in town ends up at the church, whether they’re happy or sad, lonely or overwhelmed, having issues at home or if they’re just looking for a listening ear. All rumors end up at the church too, especially on Sundays after mass when Mrs. Duarte adds a little bit of hazelnut liquor to the coffee.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“Do you think the Cortez family will return?”

“Oh, if the rumors are true, I’m sure they have their eye set on Pace. But when will they show? I don’t know. Anytime, I guess, and the only thing we can do is remain a strong community. One way or another, God will punish them for all their sins.”

“Murder is surely a greater sin than theft.”

“It’s not up to me to judge. What makes the Cortez criminals so dangerous is that they simply don’t care.”

“Do you know where they live?”

Father John stopped and turned my way. “Son, if you’re looking for Mateo Cortez, his cousins or his children, then you should stop, because all you’ll find is a path to Hell.”

“What if he’s a soul that needs saving?”

“He’s been given the opportunity over and over again. Some souls are not meant to be saved. The devil makes sure that he’s got some workers on Earth as well.”

We finally reached the end of the path, by the river, turned around, and went back.

“How are you feeling, Father? Is the cold holding off?”

“It is. Thank goodness. So, do you think working with Kate will be a problem?”

Oh, I didn’t expect that.

“I may be an old man, but I see how close your friendship has become.”

Father John had a spark in his eyes and it reminded me so much of Kate’s that I took a step back. They were so alike and so different at the same time.

“She’s a very special young lady, I won’t lie, but I do hope that with prayer, we can remain good friends.”

Father John didn’t comment. Didn’t he believe me? Didn’t he have the faith that I had? I couldn’t pull Kate into my distressed world. Heck, I didn’t even have a real home. I didn’t have the stability this girl deserved, and most importantly, I couldn’t be the man she wanted me to be.