I’ve got her where I want her. I can’t even believe she’s going to listen to me. My biggest problem?
I have no idea what I’m going to say.
“So.” Alexandria crosses her arms in front of her, all defensive bristly girl. Not that I can blame her. I asked for this. “Talk.”
I glance around the short hall that’s just off the kitchen. “I can’t talk to you here.”
“You have nine minutes,” she reminds me as I hook my arm around hers and start walking. She follows, her body snug against my side and I pull her in as close as I can. “Where are we going?”
“My room,” I tell her as I lead her up the stairs. I’m determined to get her alone, beg her for…what? Forgiveness? I don’t say I’m sorry. Ever. I’m not sorry for what I’ve done, what I’ve said, who I am. This is me, flaws and all. If whoever’s in my life can’t accept me, then I don’t need them.
Seeing Alexandria sitting on that couch rendered me stupid. So fucking beautiful with her hair falling past her shoulders in gentle waves, cheeks rosy, eyes so fucking blue, like the sky on a perfect spring day. Wearing a white oversized sweater that somehow made her look virginal—like an angel.
Not for me. Those are the three words that ran on a continuous loop inside my head. She’s not for me. I’m not worthy. I wouldn’t treat her right, no matter how hard I tried. So I went for the one I knew I was worthy of—that horny chick Toni. She was all over me. I could’ve invited her to stay and she would’ve said yes. Would’ve guaranteed myself a blowjob at the minimum, a night of heavy duty fucking at the absolute maximum.
But all I could see and feel was Alexandria watching me the entire time I halfheartedly flirted with Toni. The disappointment on Alexandria’s face was clear. The disgust. Kelli was shooting daggers at me with her eyes and I could feel every single one of them piercing my skin, reminding me that I’m an asshole. A cold hearted, careless dick who doesn’t deserve a good girl.
No matter how badly I want that good girl.
I hated myself at that moment. Had opened my mouth to let Toni know she needed to go on her merry way when Shep broke us up and practically shoved Toni out the door, Jade following after them. It saved me from having to tell her no and I appreciated that. But I figured I’d be in trouble with Shep and Jade later.
What else is new?
“I really don’t want to go to your room,” Alexandria says, yanking her arm out of my grip. We’re only halfway up the stairs and I turn to look at her, fear swirling in my gut when I realize she’s headed back down. As if she’s going to walk right out of my life and never return.
“Shit,” I mutter, chasing after her. I snag onto the hem of her sweater, grabbing a handful of soft fabric as we both land on the bottom of the steps. I scoop her up into my arms—though seriously, I have no right—and pin her against the wall, the both of us breathing hard, our chests rising and falling in tandem. Together. “Hear me out.”
She shakes her head, keeping her face averted. “I should go.”
“I’m a dick.”
“Yes, you are.” She still won’t look at me.
“I’m also drunk.”
“That doesn’t excuse your behavior.”
I close my eyes and breathe through my nose, trying to get my jumbled thoughts together. Having her so close makes it hard. Makes my dick hard too. Her scent surrounds me, wild and sweet. Her soft hair tickles the side of my face. Hell, her entire body is soft as it molds to mine and I’m consumed with the need to touch her. Kiss her. Take her.
Make her mine.
“You have five minutes,” she murmurs. “And I’m not going up to your room. So you better get to talking.”
My eyes pop open and I reach for her, my fingers curling around her chin. “Look at me.”
She shakes her head once.
“If all I’m getting is five minutes of your time, the least you could do is look at me when I talk to you.” I stroke her chin with my thumb. Softly. Slowly. A shuddering breath leaves her as she turns to face me, her eyes wary.
“You make me want things I shouldn’t want,” I admit. Her brows knit in confusion and I know I’m on the wrong track. “You make me feel things I’ve—never felt. I think about you all the damn time and I don’t do that about any girl.”
Her brow relaxes and interest flares in her eyes. “Go on,” she urges softly.
Am I really going to tell her the truth? “I tried to pretend that you didn’t matter. After you ran out on me at Starbucks, I told myself I didn’t want to be interested in you, so I shut you out. Avoided you as best I could.”
“You did a really good job,” she says dryly.
I let go of her chin, sliding my hand across her cheek, up into her hair. “But when I found out you were coming to Jade’s party, all I could think about was you. Knowing you were here tonight, in my house, and Jade wanted us gone just about fucking killed me. I wanted to see you. Hear your voice, smell your perfume, make you laugh.” I cup the back of her head, my fingers tangling in the soft strands of her hair.
She stares up at me, those luminous blue eyes seeming to eat me up. “You didn’t even look at me when you first walked into the room. That…hurt.”
“It hurt to fucking see you,” I admit.
“Why?” she whispers.
I ignore her question. How can I answer when I don’t know what to say? “I don’t understand why I’m so fixated.” I lean in, pressing my forehead to hers. I see her waver in how her shoulders relax, her hands going to my chest, resting there lightly.
Just her touching me twists me up inside. I don’t fucking get it.
“You have a funny way of showing your fixation.” Her voice is small, full of irritation. I still don’t have her convinced. “And you have three minutes left.”
Three minutes to make this right. Three minutes to prove that I want more from her. What exactly do I want? I don’t know how to ask. I warned her before that all I do is take. I don’t know any other way. If I had my choice I’d drag her up to my bedroom, lock the door and push her onto the bed. Fall on top of her and never let her go for the rest of the night.
But is that all I want? One night? That’s all I should want. That’s all I can allow myself to want.
Taking a deep breath, I close my eyes and count to three.
His forehead is pressed against mine, his eyes tightly closed, a low exhale falling from his perfect mouth. He’s so close we’re sharing the same air, I can practically count the outrageous number of thick black lashes that rim his eyes and it would take nothing for our mouths to meet. A little shift here, a lift of the chin there and we’d be kissing.
But I can’t let him kiss me. Not when I’m still mad at him. I’m so tense waiting for his next words I feel like I could shatter. Fully prepared for him to say something terrible. Awful.
Like usual.
Slowly he opens his eyes and lifts his forehead from mine, licking his lips, his gaze never leaving me. “I like you,” he says in that sexy low rumble.
Words fail me. What in the world does he mean?
“Have you ever met someone you felt an instant connection to? Like, the minute your eyes met, you couldn’t look away no matter how much you tried? You go to bed at night with them on your mind and when you wake up you wonder how they slept? And throughout the day you hope like hell you catch a glimpse of them but when you don’t, you’re disappointed?”
My throat is so dry it’s hard for me to swallow.
“And when you finally do run into them, you’re so damn excited, you’re dying to talk to them, look at them—touch them. But then you realize…that maybe you want something they can’t give. Or worse, they don’t feel the same way. That maybe you’re overreacting and wanting it all when you never want it all. You’re afraid to want it all.” He pauses, clears his throat and drops his head so he’s not looking at me any longer. “So you shut off those feelings because you don’t want to be rejected. You’d rather move through life completely untouchable.”
My knees are shaking at his sweet yet sad words. Is he really talking about me? He’s afraid he could be rejected? I find it hard to believe that the player of all players Tristan Prescott is saying this.
I run my hands up his chest, curling my fingers around his shoulders, needing him to finish but unable to say a word of encouragement. What if I’m wrong? What if he’s talking about something else entirely? Or maybe he’s saying a bunch of bullshit to get me naked.
I don’t know what to think.
“O-one minute,” I whisper, my voice shaking and my heart in my throat. I’m probably being mean but oh my God, he’s been so incredibly mean to me tonight. I still can’t believe the way he flirted with Toni while blatantly ignoring me. I don’t care how sweet his words are, he acted like an asshole.
Tristan lifts his head, his blue eyes turbulent, like a sudden violent storm. “That’s exactly how I feel about you. You scare the fuck out of me, Alexandria.”
We stare at each other, the house eerily quiet, the only sound the thundering of my heart in my ears. He shifts closer, his questioning gaze dropping, lingering on my lips for the briefest, most intense moment I think I’ve ever experienced. His gaze returns to mine, and my mouth tingles in anticipation. I don’t give him my answer with words. I merely close my eyes, part my lips.
And wait for him.
He’s there in a second, his mouth on mine, his hand curling in my hair, his other hand on my waist, his hot fingers slipping beneath my sweater to touch my bare skin. I gasp at first contact, my lips parting further and he slips his tongue inside my mouth, deepening the kiss.
He tastes faintly of beer. Mint. Tristan. My hands move to the back of his head as if I have no control over them and I clutch at his hair, pushing my body close to his. I can feel him, hard and thick pressing against the fly of his jeans and an answering throb pulses between my legs. My butt is also buzzing, which is…odd.
Oh. It’s my phone.
I break the kiss and reach for my phone, pulling it out of my back jeans pocket. A frustrated growl sounds from deep in Tristan’s throat as I check the glowing screen.
Your ten minutes are up. Get your ass out here.
Glancing up, I study Tristan’s tortured expression, his hair a mess from my hands, his cheeks ruddy from booze and our kiss, I can only assume—or maybe from his confession. It took a lot of guts for him to say what he did. But is it enough? I’m not ready to forgive him yet. I’ve learned by example, considering that was my mother’s problem—she forgave my father far too easily and look where it got her? Prison.
“I have to go,” I whisper shakily.
“Alexandria,” he starts but I shake my head, pushing at his chest so he has no choice but to back away from me.
“I have to, Tristan.” I smile tremulously. “Good night.”
His brows furrow and he looks so confused I almost feel sorry for him. “What are you doing tomorrow?”
“I have to work.” And go out with Steven.
“After work?” He grabs my hand, lacing our fingers together. “I want to see you.”
“I—” I swallow hard. “I have plans.”
His expression grows dark. “With who?”
My phone buzzes and I glance at it. Another text from Kelli.
Hurry up. It’s colder than a witch’s tit out here!
“I have to go. Kelli’s waiting for me.” I push past him and head for the kitchen, thankful no one is there so I have to make small talk or whatever. I’m practically running, my hand landing on the door handle when he grabs me from behind, his hands at my waist, turning me around so I have to face him.
“Whatever you’re doing tomorrow night, cancel your plans,” he demands. “We need to finish this.”
“There’s nothing to finish,” I tell him. “I heard what you had to say.”
He stares at me as if I’ve lost my mind. “And that’s it? That’s your reaction?”
“What do you want me to do? Fall at your feet? Tell you you’re forgiven? Strip off my clothes and beg you to fuck me?”
“Well…” He scratches the back of his head. “Yeah.”
I start to laugh. This guy is unreal. “Words are meaningless when there are no actions backing them up. Prove to me that you feel that way. Don’t just tell me, show me.”
Before he can say another word I open the door and dart into the garage, spotting the bright green VW bug on the other side of the street, Kelli behind the wheel with the engine running. I pick up speed, about to cross when Tristan grabs hold of my hand, turns me toward him and kisses me.
Oh God, his lips should be designated lethal weapons. They obliterate all of my brain cells the moment they touch mine every single time. I tear my mouth from his and pull out of his hold. “You don’t play fair,” I cry, glancing over my shoulder at where Kelli sits waiting for me in her car.
Of course, she’s watching it all unfold, her mouth agape, her chin resting on her fist, I swear.
“Neither do you,” he accuses, his breathing ragged. “You really expect me to let you walk away after I bear my fucking soul?”
The air is cold and sharp, a fine mist falling from the sky, seeping through my sweater and chilling me to the bone. “You confessed that you have a crush on me. That’s it.”
“That’s it? Like hey, no big deal? You consume my thoughts and I’m fairly certain I’m obsessed with you, yet you hit me with that’s it?” He runs a hand through his hair, his big body practically vibrating with frustration. “I ruined it between us didn’t I?”
I don’t answer him, glancing over my shoulder once more. I hate that Kelli’s having to wait for me. Hate even worse that she’s witnessing all of this. “I need to go,” I tell him.
He grimaces. “Go ahead. Fucking go with Kelli and leave me here all alone.”
“Seriously? You’re going to play the guilt card now?” Unbelievable. I turn away from him and stalk toward Kelli’s car, anger, irritation, frustration, lust—all of it bubbling deep inside of me. He’s so incredibly arrogant and selfish. Everything revolves around him. He doesn’t get it.
I don’t think he’ll ever get it.
I’m on the passenger side of Kelli’s car, about to open the door when Tristan appears in front of me, like he’s fucking magic or something. “I don’t want to play any type of card.” He grabs hold of my hand but I shake him off. “I want to be real with you, Alexandria.”
“Then you’re going to have to work a little harder,” I tell him as I pull open the car door. A blast of heat and that damn irritating Fight Song pours out of the interior, making me wince.
“Get in, bitch! You’re letting in all the cold air!” Kelli yells. The music fades and I’m thankful. “Leave her alone, Tristan! Clearly she’s not interested.”
He backs away, holding up his hands like he’s given up, his expression unreadable. I stare at him, watching him walk backward across his neighbor’s lawn until finally he turns and jogs across the street back to his house. Never once looking at me.
Typical.
Climbing into the car, I collapse in my seat, slamming the door and exhaling loudly, like I’d just held my breath for the last ten minutes.
It sort of feels like I did exactly that.
“What the hell just happened?” Kelli asks as she puts the car in drive and pulls away from the curb.
I close my eyes. “I have no idea.”