CHAPTER THREE
As I drove home, it began raining. I sat in my car, watching the raindrops hit the windshield. Time ticked away until I finally managed the strength to get out of my car. Not caring that I got wet, I grabbed the mail and brought it inside, clutching my chemistry book to my chest.
Inside, I turned up the heat and tossed my things on the couch before immediately going into the bathroom and turning on the tap. I waited for the water to warm up, but it never did. Had they turned off the hot water? But I paid that bill, didn’t I? Besides, the heat was on… so it couldn’t be the gas. I waited a little longer, but the tub only filled with freezing cold water. “Stupid plumbing…” This kind of thing happened all the time in this rundown apartment.
I sighed and changed into the warmest pajamas I had, but still felt cold to the bone. I plopped onto the couch, knowing I needed to study for my upcoming exam. I grabbed the hefty textbook and placed it on my lap, opening it up to our current chapter. I tried to focus on reading, but everything looked like gibberish.
I dumped it on the coffee table and walked into the kitchen, feeling like there was a nervous energy running through every inch of my body. Maybe a snack would help. I opened the fridge, but the sight that greeted me was depressing. A carton of expired milk. Some butter. Some leftovers. I grabbed them, about to heat them up when I noticed the growing mold. Frustrated, I tossed the container in the trash. It exploded and rice spilled all over the floor. “Oh for fuck’s sake…” Would nothing go my way today?
I grabbed the broom and started to clean up. Why was all of this happening to me? What had I done to deserve it all? I sat on the kitchen floor, trying to pinpoint the moment when my life had turned upside-down.
I was in the living room, studying for the MCATs. I had been stressing about it all week. The eight-hour-long exam was this Saturday. If I didn’t do well, then I wouldn’t get into medical school.
“Would you like some chocolate chip cookies?” My mother asked, peeking her head through the door.
“Mmm, of course.” I smiled at her. My mom made the best cookies.
“How’s studying going?”
“I don’t know… I’m really nervous. I’m starting to get second thoughts about all of this…”
My mother walked over and sat down beside me, flinging her arm over my shoulders. “You’ll do great, honey. One day, you’ll be an amazing doctor.”
“You really think so?”
“I know so.” She winked at me before kissing my cheek.
“Thanks, mom…” I watched her leave before I continued to study, trying to memorize the Heterocyclic Compounds.
I buried my nose in my book, carefully making flashcards, determined to prep as much as possible before the day of the exam.
After a while, however, I started to smell something burning. “Mom? Is everything alright in there?” There was no answer. I jumped off the couch and into the kitchen to find the cookies unattended and burning. I pulled them out of the oven as fast as I could, shooing away the smoke that filled every inch of the kitchen. I coughed, covering my mouth with the crook of my arm. My eyes watered from the irritation.
“Mom?” I looked around for her and found her in the bathroom, enjoying a bath. “Mom, what are you doing?”
“I’m enjoying a bath, dear. What does it look like I’m doing?” She asked, an innocent look on her face.
“What about the cookies you left in the oven. You nearly burned the house down!”
“Did I? When did I make cookies?”
“What are you talking about? You asked me a while ago if I wanted chocolate chip.”
“Did I?” She furrowed her brows together in confusion. “It must’ve slipped my mind…”
From that day forward, my mother started to forget more and more things. She would get lost going to the grocery store. She could never find her keys, even if they were right in her hands. Today, she even forgot about her own daughter…
Feeling numb, I got up. My stomach rumbled, but I didn’t have the energy to make the last of the eggs. I just sat back down on the couch, feeling like my life was falling apart, piece by piece. I tried to study, but nothing was getting through. Looking over, I noticed my mail.
Junk. Junk. Junk. I looked through the Sunday paper. There were a lot of sales in some of my favorite stores. I eyed a pair of cute boots before flinging the paper away. If I couldn’t afford my mother’s care, then I certainly couldn’t buy myself a pair of boots I didn’t really need.
At the bottom of the pile was a letter from my school. The familiar crest was printed in the upper right corner. In the middle were the words Important: Open Immediately. I feared what might be inside. Slowly, I slid my finger under the seal and opened it.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, here was an overdue tuition bill. The astronomical amount was circled in angry red ink. I closed it, refusing to acknowledge that I was now nearly a million dollars in debt. This couldn’t be happening. What was I supposed to do?
Tears streamed down my face. I felt so helpless. I curled up on the couch, wishing I could just close my eyes and disappear. I continued to cry, letting all the pain and depression I felt during the day come to the surface. I felt sick to my stomach like I would throw up at any moment. My mind refused to stop thinking about all the money I needed to magically find in order to get my life back on track. Would I fail my mother? Would I be forced to give up my dream of becoming a doctor?
Eventually, my sobs lulled me to sleep.