Chapter Fifteen
“You’re telling me we have what kind of a bond?” Kat stared at the two of them in disbelief.
“A soul bond,” Lock said quietly. “It’s only half a bond, really—incomplete without the physical aspect.”
“Which, as you may remember, we have all agreed we’re not going to pursue,” Deep said dryly, his arms crossed over his broad chest. “It’s really not that important.”
“If it’s no big deal then why are you telling me now?” Kat demanded.
“We thought that since you’re going to see Mother L’rin again today—” Lock began.
“We thought you’d rather hear it from us than her.” Deep frowned. “Speaking of which, if we don’t get to the shuttle soon, we’re going to be late. They’re not going to let us land in the middle of the Healing Gardens again, you know. We’re going to be doing some walking to get to her.”
“Oh no, you’re not brushing this off so easily.” Kat put a hand on her hip. “I want to know more about what you two did to me and why you didn’t tell me first.”
“Let’s talk and walk, then,” Deep suggested. He was being infuriatingly calm about the whole thing—as though he and Lock bonding her to them against her will was of no importance whatsoever. Which of course made Kat suspicious.
“Please understand, my lady—we were saving your life,” Lock pleaded as they all left the house and headed for the waiting shuttle. It had taken the form of a smallish car, as all Kindred shuttles did when not in use for flight. “Mother L’rin told us it was necessary. Your spirit had fractured—forming a bond with you was the only way to mend it.”
“I don’t know if I believe that,” Kat snapped as she climbed into the back of the shuttle.
Deep turned from the driver’s seat, his dark eyes narrowed. “Are you calling us liars?”
“Well, it’s not like you can actually prove what you’re saying,” she pointed out. “I mean, if I’d broken my arm and woke up with a cast on it, I could buy that. But this whole ‘fractured spirit’ thing—”
“Came straight from Mother L’rin herself,” Deep said, frowning. “She can explain all about it when we get to the Healing Gardens. Until then, don’t call us liars until you know what you’re talking about.”
“Deep, please, I’m sure the lady Kat didn’t mean to offend,” Lock said quietly from the passenger seat. “She’s just upset, that’s all.”
“Damn right, I’m upset.” Kat glared at both of them. “After all that high-sounding talk about how you would ‘never bond an unwilling female to you…’”
“We meant a physical bond,” Deep growled. “Which we could have formed last night if we’d wanted to instead of—”
“Don’t start.” Kat lifted her chin. “I told you I didn’t want to talk about…about what we did last night.” In fact, she preferred not to think about it either. Stupid bonding fruit! She’d been completely out of control, letting the two of them fuck her with that huge wooden dildo. It made her cheeks hot with shame just remembering it. Don’t think about it, she told herself. Just put it behind you and never let it happen again.
“Don’t want to talk about it, hmm?” Deep’s eyes were angry in the rearview reflector. “Why not, little Kat? Don’t you want to discuss the way you spread yourself for us? The way you gave it up so sweetly while Lock fucked you—”
“That’s enough!” Lock’s voice was almost a shout. Kat and Deep both stared at him, surprised. “Why,” he continued in a lower tone. “Can’t the two of you just get along for two minutes? Why can’t you stop fighting and admit that you care for each other the way…the way I care for both of you?”
“Because we don’t,” Deep said coldly, before Kat could answer. “I know you have this sweet, pathetic fantasy that the three of us are going to end up together, Brother but it’s not going to happen.”
Lock shook his head. “Don’t,” he said in a low voice. “I thought after last night…”
“You thought wrong.” Deep’s eyes clashed with Kat’s in the rearview again and then he turned his attention back to the curvy, winding road.
“I’m sorry, Lock.” Kat reached up to put a hand on his broad shoulder. “I didn’t think—”
“And you don’t care, either.” Deep’s eyes were still angry and the emotions coming from him were like a black cloud, filling the interior of the car. Filling Kat herself with hurt and anger and misery.
“Deep…” Lock’s voice held a warning note but Deep shook his head.
“She doesn’t, Brother—not the way you want her to. So leave it alone. The sooner we get to Mother L’rin and have her dissolve our partial bond the better.”
Kat couldn’t have agreed more. But she still felt horrible as the little car made its way to the Healing Gardens. I never wanted it to be like this, she thought miserably. Never wanted to care for either one of them. I don’t know how my life got so screwed up. Well, it was about to get straightened out, she comforted herself. According to Deep and Lock, this Mother L’rin person could fix everything.
Kat just hoped they were right because at the moment, a lot more than just her spirit felt broken.
* * * * *
“Looking better today, you are.” The wizened old woman with strange, jewel-like eyes and pink-tinged skin circled Kat slowly, watching her sharply as though looking for some invisible defect. “But deceiving appearances can be.”
“Oh really?” Kat said politely, glad she could understand what was being said. She’d forgotten all about the convo-pillar still stuck in her ear until Mother L’rin had started speaking. Deep, of course, had wanted her to take it out. He’d said he or Lock could translate for her, but Kat had refused and demanded to speak to the healer alone.
She wanted to be able to talk confidentially with the old woman the twins said had saved her life. There were things she wanted to say and questions she wanted to ask that she didn’t feel comfortable having Deep and Lock hear. Besides, she was dying to get away from their suffocating emotions. After the fight she’d had with them, riding in the tiny shuttle car all the way to the Healing Gardens had been like breathing in choking lungfulls of second hand smoke. Putting some distance between herself and the two brothers was a breath of fresh air.
Now she was sitting in a lovely little meadow with flowering bushes all around and a golden stream tinkling musically to one side and she felt much calmer. She didn’t know where Deep and Lock had gone—she just hoped they stayed away for a good long while.
“Very ill, you were. Nearly dead, mm-hmm.” The old woman nodded wisely and Kat nodded back. The convo-pillar seemed to be working much better today, though it did kind of make Mother L’rin sound like Yoda.
“Deep and Lock say you saved my life,” she said. “I wanted to thank you for that.”
“Healing my profession is. Necessary thanks are not.”
“Uh, okay.” Kat nodded uncertainly. “They also say you told them to form a soul bond with me—whatever that is.”
“Half of a true bond, a soul bond is—the joining of three spirits as one.”
“And the other half is the physical bond? When you…?” Kat trailed off, blushing.
“Have sex that is bonding,” Mother L’rin finished for her, eyeing her sharply. “But this you have not done.”
“No, of course not,” Kat blurted. “Look, I never meant to get involved with Lock and Deep in the first place and now everything is all messed up and my whole life feels out of control! I can feel their emotions filling me up until I think I’m drowning. Can you help me block them? Lock said you might be able to.”
Mother L’rin shook her head. “Only with a full bond is mind privacy possible.”
Kat’s heart sank. “So you’re saying in order to have any kind of peace I’d have to tie myself to them for life?”
The wise woman nodded solemnly. “Bonded to them you must be.”
“But I can’t be. I don’t want to be,” Kat protested.
“Until you are, weak you will be.” Mother L’rin poked a finger at her. “The pain…return it will.”
“It will?” Kat felt sick. Come to think of it, she hadn’t felt anything like the symptoms she’d had while she was aboard the Mother ship since she woke up. But just the thought of enduring that splitting headache again was hideous.
“You must touch them—one at least. Both is better.” Mother L’rin nodded sagely. “As greater your weakness grows, the more deeply must you touch.”
“You mean like a…” Kat cleared her throat. “Like a sexual touch?”
“Yes, yes.” Mother L’rin nodded vigorously. “The bond it strengthens. Your pain will ease.”
“But I don’t want to be bonded to them,” Kat said, feeling like a broken record. “I mean, Lock is really sweet and I like him a lot but Deep is so angry all the time—”
“Much loss has Deep suffered,” Mother L’rin interrupted her. “Took your pain he did.”
“What?” Kat stared at her, confused. “You mean the headaches and dizziness I was having?”
“Yes,” Mother L’rin said simply.
Kat was still confused. “How could Deep take my headaches away?” The sharp, stabbing ache behind her eyes had been intensely painful but she couldn’t imagine how it could have been transferred to another person.
“Show you, I will.” Mother L’rin raised her voice. “Doby! The whip.”
There was a rustling in the nearby bushes and a giant with pink mottled skin appeared. He was taller than a professional basketball player and about three times as broad. His loincloth was made of large, flat leaves and he carried a green wooden box carefully in his huge hands. For some reason he looked familiar to Kat. That’s silly. How can a nine foot tall giant in a leaf loincloth look familiar? But she couldn’t shake the feeling and the sight of him made her vaguely uneasy.
“Here I have it, Mother,” he said in a high, almost feminine voice.
“Good. Accompany us to the Stone Throat you will.” Turning, Mother L’rin marched off through the long green and pink grass at a surprisingly fast pace. Kat had to scramble up and almost run to keep up with her.
The lovely wilderness of the Healing Gardens was a blur around her as they walked quickly through the grass and flowering bushes. Kat was feeling more and more uncomfortable though she couldn’t put her finger exactly on why. But when they came to the mouth of a cave made of brownish-pink stone, the feeling grew even stronger.
“Wait a minute,” she said, when Mother L’rin started into the low stone entrance. “Where is this place? I have the strangest feeling of deja-vu but I know I’ve never been here before.”
The old woman only gestured toward the cave. “Inside we must go.” She went in and the pink giant followed her, leaving Kat no choice but to join them.
They walked down an echoing stone hallway with Kat feeling worse all the time. By the time they came to the green wooden door with the tarnished handle in its center she was shivering and it wasn’t from cold. But it wasn’t until Doby swung the door open, revealing a vast, round chamber with a red-streaked white obelisk at its center, that Kat nearly lost it.
“Oh my God! This room!” She walked into the echoing chamber on unsteady legs. “I dreamed this. I saw…” She whirled to Mother L’rin. “I saw him.” She stabbed a finger at Doby’s mottled pink hide. “He took Deep in here. And he…he…” She couldn’t go on. Mutely she went to the white obelisk, pointing like an accusing finger toward the narrow stone chimney above. The red streaks were there, just as they had been in her dream. But now she knew what they were. “Dried blood,” she whispered. “My God, he whipped Deep. Whipped him until he bled.” She turned back to Mother L’rin. “I saw it all in my dream. What does that mean?”
“Dream sharing you were,” the old woman said quietly. “Saw everything you did.”
“You mean what I saw was true?” She had a sudden mental image of the night before—Deep’s broad back, covered in a twisted pattern of white scars. “Oh my God—it was true!” Suddenly she felt so faint and dizzy she couldn’t stand up anymore. She started to fall and Doby put out a huge hand to catch her. “Get away from me.” Kat pushed away from the giant, feeling sick to her stomach. “You’re the one who did it to him.”
“No, you are.” Mother L’rin pointed a crooked finger at her. “Your pain he took.”
“But I don’t understand. How could he—?”
“The whip.” Mother L’rin nodded at Doby who opened the green lacquered wooden box he carried. Inside was a plain black handle which Kat found sickeningly familiar.
“I…I’ve seen that before,” she said weakly. Only last time it had long silvery tongues attached to it. With spikes on their ends.
“Transfers pain, the whip does,” the old woman explained. “Someone had your pain to take.”
“And Deep volunteered?” For some reason Kat found tears in her eyes. “Why?”
Mother L’rin put a hand on Kat’s arm and looked into her eyes. “Why do you think, child?” she said gently.
“I d-don’t know.” Kat sniffed and blotted her eyes against the long sleeve of her toga-dress. “I honestly don’t. He hates me. Or at least he doesn’t like me very much.”
“Himself he hates,” Mother L’rin said, releasing her arm. “Cleansed of his hate he must be before you bond.”
“But I can’t bond with him and Lock. Don’t you see? It would never work out.” Kat thought of her parents—the constant shouting, the cold silences, the ugly accusations and names. Her father calling her mother “a fat, lazy whore” and her mother telling him, “Every time I see you, I hate you more. I wish you were dead.” And all that was before the beatings started.
Up until they’d finally gotten divorced and her grandmother had taken her in, the only peace she had was when she went to Liv and Sophie’s house. Their parents had loved each other and it showed in the little acts of affection, the kindness and consideration they showed each other. But Kat’s home had been a war zone. And though neither parent had ever physically laid a hand on her, only each other, she still carried the scars of their many battles.
“You don’t understand,” she told Mother L’rin, aware that she was crying again but unable to help herself. “I can’t be with them. I can’t be with him.”
The old woman shook her head and put an arm around Kat’s heaving shoulders. “Child, come,” she said, leading Kat back to the green door. “If bonded you cannot be, then a journey you must make.”
“A…a journey?” Kat blotted her eyes on her sleeve. If this kept up, she was going to have to change clothes because her entire freaking dress would be soaked in tears. God, she hated to cry! “A journey to where?” she said, sniffing and trying to get hold of herself.
“The fifilalachuchu blossom you must seek.”
“The what?” Kat was convinced that her convo-pillar was acting up again but Mother L’rin repeated the name and she realized she’d heart it correctly the first time. “But what good will this uh, fi-fi flower do? Will it break the bond between us?”
“Seek it you must,” the wise woman repeated firmly. “Back to me you will bring it. Medicine I will make for you.”
“Okay.” Kat nodded. The strange sounding flower must be the only way to break the soul bond between herself and Lock and Deep. “Uh, where can I find it?” she asked, as they left the cave and walked back to the meadow with the golden brook.
“Find what?” Deep and Lock came forward. Clearly they had been waiting for Kat to come back.
“Some kind of rare flower.” Kat found she could barely look at Deep. Why had he taken her pain? Was it out of pride? A sense of responsibility? She knew that a Kindred warrior took his oath to protect any female in his care very seriously. Could that be why Deep had submitted to the vicious beating for her? She wanted to ask him about it—to thank him for what he’d done. But one glance at the scowl on his dark face told her now wasn’t the time.
“The fifilalachuchu blossom,” Mother L’rin said firmly, pulling her thoughts back to the present.
“You mean the Moons blossom? But those are just a legend,” Lock protested.
The old woman shook her head. “In some legends, truth lies. Find it on the continent you will.”
“The continent?” Deep raised one eyebrow at her. “You want us to cross the golden strait in search of a mythical flower that only blooms when both full moons are in the sky?”
Mother L’rin marched up to him and poked him in the chest with one knarled finger. “At once you must.”
Though she was so tiny she barely reached his waist, Deep took a step back and nodded respectfully. “All right, all right. As you say, Mother.”
“Very good. Enough time have I wasted with you.” She nodded at her giant, silent assistant. “Doby, come.”
“Yes, Mother.” He shambled after her. Before long, both the tiny figure and the huge one had disappeared into the long pink and green grasses that lined the far side of the stream.
“Well.” Lock looked somewhat nonplussed. “It seems we have a quest to fulfill.”
Deep snorted. “It seems so. Though what she expects us to find on the continent besides filth and ignorance, I have no idea.”
“You heard her—she said to find the Moons blossom.” Lock straightened his shoulders. “We’d best get going if we want to make arrangements to leave immediately.”
“Immediately?” Kat asked, startled. “As in tonight?”
“If we can,” Lock said grimly. “You heard Mother L’rin—she said we had to go at once. It may be a matter of life and death.” He looked at Kat. “What did she tell you?”
“A lot of things.” Kat studied the ground, afraid that if she looked up she would catch Deep’s eyes and see the silver whip reflected in their midnight depths.
“What did she say about you?” Deep’s voice was harsh. “Are you completely well? All healed?”
Kat thought of what the wise woman had told her. That if she didn’t touch at least one of the brothers—or preferably both—her pain and weakness would come back. She opened her mouth to tell them…but somehow she just couldn’t. Not after the fight they’d had. How could she ask them to touch her when she refused to bond with them? It seemed rude and wrong—like she was using them. Besides, she had her pride. She didn’t want to sound like she was begging.
“Are you well, my lady?” Lock said and she realized she’d been silent too long.
“I’m fine.” She shrugged, trying to sound unconcerned. “What you two did for me cured me. So…thank you.”
Deep raised one black eyebrow. “So you admit the soul bond was necessary. You’re not so quick to call us liars now, hmm?”
A sharp retort rose to Kat’s lips but she bit it back when she remembered what he’d done for her. Mother L’rin’s voice echoed in her head. “Himself he hates.” Lifting her chin, she looked at Deep. “I’m sorry if what I said hurt you,” she said, staring unflinchingly into his angry eyes. “But it looks like we’re stuck together a little while longer. So I’d like to offer a truce—no more fighting. No more backbiting. No more hurting each other. Deal?”
He raised an eyebrow. “For the duration of our little ‘quest’ as Lock puts it?”
Kat nodded. “Yes. Will you agree?”
Deep shrugged, a look of apparent unconcern on his face. “If you like. Though fighting with you is much more amusing than fighting with Lock.”
“None of us ought to be fighting,” Lock said in a low voice. “We’re going to need to stick together when we get to the continent—if we ever want to get off of it again, that is.”
That sounded ominous to Kat. Like we’re going to the dark side of the moon or something. It’s all on the same planet—how bad can the ‘continent’ be?
She was afraid she was going to find out.