Chapter Eleven

THANE looked at his watch for the umpteenth time in the past hour. He didn’t want to go too early and end up having to wait for hours to see if Barnes would show up, but he also didn’t want to wait until too late. He didn’t know what time Barnes had arrived last weekend, but he’d left shortly after midnight even though the bar didn’t close until two thirty. Seven o’clock was early still, though. It made him look too eager if Barnes was there and increased the likelihood of making him look like a fool if Barnes didn’t show. He’d wait until nine. That was a respectable time to start partying on a Saturday night, and if Barnes wasn’t already there, Thane could enjoy the scenery while he waited. It wasn’t like he’d do anything more than look even if Barnes was there. Things were awkward enough between them. Thane didn’t need to make it worse by coming on to him.

Now he just had to fill the next hour until it was late enough to get dressed and head out. And figure out what to tell Kit and Phillip about where he was going and why. They weren’t babies. He could tell them he was going to a club, even a gay club. They could imagine what they wanted from there. He didn’t have to confirm or deny their suspicions or even give any indication he had ideas about what their suspicions might be. They would probably be partially right, but they had no reason to think he was going out hoping to see their Mr. B. in leather again. They didn’t need to think about Barnes that way. Thane might not be an expert on all things educational, but they respected Barnes, and he didn’t want to do anything to change that.

“Uncle Thane?” Phillip’s voice drew Thane out of his thoughts. He looked up and smiled, but Phillip didn’t smile back.

“What’s wrong?” Thane asked.

“I… I could use a little advice.”

“What kind of advice?”

Phillip took a seat on the couch next to Thane and picked at the hem of his sweater. “I don’t know anything about girls.”

“You’re sixteen. Nobody expects you to,” Thane replied. He wasn’t prepared for this conversation. “Hold that thought. I’m going to get a drink. Do you want something?”

Phillip shook his head, so Thane grabbed a beer from the kitchen and came back to sit next to Phillip. He took a long swig to fortify himself. “Okay, what do you want to know?”

“How am I supposed to know if she likes me?” Phillip asked.

“Are you asking in general or are we talking about someone in particular?”

“Someone in particular,” Phillip mumbled.

“Anyone I know?” Thane asked. He only knew the tech-crew kids, but he might be lucky.

“Darcy, from stage crew. She’s so funny and pretty and smart. I really like her, but I don’t know if she feels the same way,” Phillip blurted out.

Thane took a minute to fix which one Darcy was in his head. Thin, brunette, bouncy ponytail. He could see why Phillip would like her. “Girls are complicated. Guys are much easier to figure out.”

“Yeah, but I like girls,” Phillip replied. “I mean, I don’t care who other people like. That’s their business, but I like girls.”

“Nothing wrong with that,” Thane replied. “As long as you don’t judge other people for their sexuality.”

“What’s there to judge? I mean, you’re bi, and I’m pretty sure Kit is too, and I think Mr. B. is gay, and he’s my favorite teacher. What do I do about Darcy?”

“That kind of depends on you,” Thane said. “On what you want. Are you looking to score or are you looking for a relationship?”

“Uncle Thane,” Phillip moaned.

“If you can’t talk to me about it, how are you going to talk to her about it?” Thane asked.

“I want to ask her out, take her somewhere nice. Only I don’t know if she feels the same way,” Phillip said. “She could already have a boyfriend, for all I know.”

“Then that’s the first thing you have to find out,” Thane said. “Because getting involved with someone else’s girlfriend isn’t cool. Ask her about what she did this weekend. Did she go out? Give her a chance to mention a boyfriend if she has one. Or a girlfriend. If she doesn’t mention anyone special, that’ll give you that much information. And it’ll tell you what she likes to do, too, so you know what to suggest if you decide to ask her out.”

“Yeah, I can do that.” Phillip started to stand up.

“Wait, we aren’t done.” Thane caught Phillip’s arm and kept him in place. “There are condoms upstairs in my bathroom. Keep one in your wallet and use it if it gets to that point.”

Phillip flushed bright red. “Uncle Thane! I don’t even know if she likes me yet. I’m not thinking about having sex with her.”

“You’re sixteen. Keep one in your wallet. Maybe you won’t use it anytime soon, and that’s fine. I’m not telling you to go sleep around with anyone who’s offering. I’m telling you to be smart about it. And while we’re on the subject—”

“We aren’t on the subject,” Phillip groaned.

“Phillip, this is serious. Anything less than an enthusiastic yes means no, and you ask before you touch—Darcy or any girl. Anytime, every time. Understand?”

“I know, Uncle Thane. I wouldn’t do anything like that.”

“I don’t think you would, but it’s easy to get caught up, especially at your age, and forget to ask, and it’s easy for the person you’re with to get caught up and not realize until later that they wish they’d thought about it first.” Thane remembered that age all too well. He liked to think he’d never forced anyone into anything without realizing it, but he hadn’t been as careful as he could have been either. He didn’t want Phillip to have those same regrets later.

“I’ll be careful. I promise.”

“Good.” He pulled Phillip into a tight hug. “You can always talk to me, no matter what about, okay?”

Phillip hugged him back. “Okay. I love you, Uncle Thane.”

Thane tightened his embrace and wondered when hearing those words had become so important to him.

When Phillip stood this time, Thane let him go and flopped back against the couch. That was one safe-sex talk down. He’d need to have one with Kit sooner or later, but that could wait until another night. He glanced down at his watch again. Enough time had passed that he could think about getting ready to go out, but the conversation with Phillip made him question what he was doing. Was he that much of a hypocrite, that he’d go out of his way to rile up Barnes, knowing Barnes wasn’t interested and that nothing would come of it?

If Barnes had shown the slightest hint of interest, it would be different. Still a bad idea, but a mutual one. As it was, it bordered on harassment. He couldn’t give that kind of example to his boys. He groaned and scrubbed at his face, his beard abrading his palms. Guess he was staying in tonight and getting reacquainted with his hand.

Fuck. How was this his life?

BLAKE finished dinner and debated what to do with the evening. Normally he’d go to the Bar Complex if he didn’t have other plans because there was always something going on there, whether it was a drag show or go-go dancers or simply the chance to hang out and dance. Far more often, he went out to dinner with friends or caught a movie or a show at the Opera House or the Lexington Philharmonic, but he usually ended up at the club once every three or four months. Somehow, though, he’d wound up with two weekends in a row with no other plans.

Before last weekend, he wouldn’t have hesitated, but running into Thane had changed the game. He thought he’d managed their meeting with credible grace. He hadn’t made a complete fool of himself, but that was only some consolation. He might not be as lucky the next time. Or Thane could be there and show absolutely no interest in Blake this time. He wasn’t sure which would be worse.

He washed his dishes and set them in the drying rack. He could see what movies were out. There was probably something worth seeing, at the Kentucky even if not in the regular cinemas. Or he could finish rereading The Power of Myth after he’d spent an hour talking with Zach about it while they were working. He had options that didn’t involve going to the club.

But if he did that, if he let Thane dictate his choices, he wouldn’t be able to look himself in the mirror tomorrow morning. He spent so much time talking to his students about making their own decisions for themselves, for the right reasons rather than because of someone else. He couldn’t let the possibility that Thane would be at the club take his decision out of his hands. He was many things, not all of them good, but he’d never been a hypocrite, and he couldn’t start now.

He stomped into the bedroom to find something to wear. Not the leather tonight. He’d worn those last week. Maybe jeans? Or his black linen trousers, the ones that clung to his legs. He could pair them with one of his loose silk shirts. It would be a different look than the week before, but he’d had more than one offer dressed that way. If Thane was there, let him look. And if he wasn’t, Blake could relax and have a good time.

He dressed quickly, determined not to delay anymore now that he’d made up his mind, and called Uber for a ride. He wasn’t planning on getting hammered, but this way he didn’t have to stop after one drink if someone offered to buy him another one.

Who was he kidding? If Thane was there and offered to buy him another one. Not that Thane would. He’d only bought the one last weekend because he hadn’t realized who Blake was until after he’d ordered the drink.

Blake shook himself mentally as he waited for the car to arrive. If he went out with this kind of self-defeating attitude, he wouldn’t enjoy himself no matter who was or wasn’t at the club. He was better than this.

The driver dropped him off at the Bar Complex with a nod and a smile and nothing more. Some Uber drivers were chatty, but this one hadn’t been. Blake would have appreciated the distraction. He paid the cover fee and went inside, stomach jumping as he scanned the room looking for any familiar faces.

Looking for Thane.

Damn it, he was not going to do this! He was here to have fun, not to spend the whole time searching for Thane like a teenager at a high school dance, hoping his first crush would show up—and not with someone else.

His lips twisted wryly as he appreciated the irony of that statement. It might not have been a dance, but Blake had spent many a lunch break his freshman year of high school hoping to catch a glimpse of Thane somewhere in the cafeteria. Heidi had teased him mercilessly.

He made his way up to the bar and ordered a whiskey sour. He didn’t recognize the bartender, but the staff changed with some regularity. As he took a sip, he turned to face the dance floor again. He was going to do this. He was going to enjoy his drink, dance with some cute men, and call the night a success.

And damn Thane Dalton for ruining this pleasure for him too.