CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE - SEAN
Emily and I sat on a bench while Tommy and Sarah played, marveling at how little fighting was going on. I watched my little girl, the one who’d slept on my chest for months after her mother had died, and wondered how in the hell I was ever going to be able to give her up.
Just the thought of Telissa made my blood boil. Not only had she ruined me by telling me about her affair, but she’d invited Glen into our lives. And for what? To assuage her own guilt? Emily gently touched my knee, and I could see the concern etched in her face as she watched me. I took a deep breath and tried to calm myself before the kids caught on to my mood.
They played for a long time, just running around and having fun. A few times, Sarah ran up to tell me something she thought was cool. It nearly broke me inside to know that this was probably the last time I would spend these days with her. Last night I had strongly considered taking Glen to court for custody, but decided in the end that I couldn’t put Sarah through that. She would live with him while the trial went on and then what if I won? She’d be shuffled around all over again.
Movement out of the corner of my eye got my attention. I turned my head to see none other than Glen standing at the edge of the playground area. What the fuck? He’d promised me forty-eight hours. I stood up and turned to Emily.
“Keep an eye on the kids, will you?” I asked her. Before she could answer, I stalked over to where the other man stood, my hands balled into fists. I was ready to beat him bloody if he tried to approach Sarah right now.
His eyes never left her as I approached and before I could say a word, he started to speak.
“She looks so much like her mother,” he said softly.
I stood stock still, trying to control my temper. “Look, Glen, you promised me—”
He finally swung his eyes in my direction and held up his hand to interrupt me. “I loved her, you know? And in the beginning, I didn’t even know she was married. I never would have gotten with her had I known. But by the time I found out, I was already in love. When she broke it off, I was devastated and when I got her letter, I thought maybe I could still have a piece of her with me if I had our daughter.”
I opened my mouth to speak, but he shook his head and stopped me again.
“Please, this is hard enough. Just let me finish. I was in town last night, and I saw all of you out together. You all looked so happy. I barely slept at all last night, but I came to a decision. I can’t disrupt her life any more than it already has been. It would be selfish of me. She’s happy and she’s flourishing, and that’s because of you. You are her father, Sean, and I won’t take her from you.”
Tears instantly filled my eyes and it was all I could do not to hug the guy where he stood. “You’re sure about this? You’re not going to come back in a month and say you changed your mind?” I asked, afraid to believe this was real.
Glen shook his head. “No. I called my lawyer this morning and asked him to terminate my parental rights. He said since you are the father listed on the birth certificate, there wouldn’t be any additional paperwork. Just please promise me that you will always take care of her like you have been, that you will always make sure she’s happy.”
“I promise,” I said sincerely.
Glen looked at Sarah once again and smiled sadly. Without another word, he turned and left.
The kids played for a while longer while I went back to sit with Emily. I felt like a boulder had been lifted from my back. I was not going to lose my baby girl after all. I filled Emily in quietly while the kids chased one another around.
She decided to head back to the house a little before us to get started on a celebratory lunch and left me alone with my kids for a bit. After another few minutes, I called them over to where we sat. It was time I asked them something.
I took a deep breath and cleared my throat, looking from one face to the other.
“I wanted to ask you guys something,” I finally said. “What do you think of Emily?”
“We love her,” Tommy said quickly. “Why? You aren’t going to fire her again, are you?”
“What?” Sarah said, jerking her head around to face me. “You can’t!”
“No.” I laughed. “No, of course not. Emily isn’t going anywhere, you guys. I just wanted to know how you felt about her. If you like her, that sort of thing.”
“We love her,” Tommy said again. “She’s amazing, Dad. She really is. I didn’t think anyone would be able to take care of us after Mom died, but Emily does. It’s almost like having a real mom around again.”
Tommy’s words hit me like a brick. They were so deep and full of emotion that I had to wipe my eyes to keep my tears from spilling over. When I looked at his sister, she was nodding her head in agreement.
“I love Emily too,” she said firmly. “She’s my best friend, Daddy.”
“That’s wonderful,” I said, beaming. “I wanted to ask because, well, because I like Emily a lot too. In fact, I like her more than a lot.”
“Like as a friend?” Tommy asked with a frown. “Or a girlfriend?”
“A girlfriend,” I said firmly. “I like Emily as a girlfriend.”
“Wow,” Sarah said, her eyes wide. “You do?”
“Yes,” I said, nodding. “And I wanted to ask if that would be okay with you. Would either of you mind if I started to date Emily?”
“Well,” Tommy said thoughtfully. “Does she like you too?”
“Yes,” I said with a soft laugh. “She does.”
“Then it’s fine with me,” Tommy said, shrugging. “I don’t mind at all.”
“Sarah?” I asked.
“I think it’s amazing!” she said. “Listen,” I said slowly. “Emily will never take your mommy’s place, okay? I know she takes great care of you, and I know how much you love her, but your mommy is still special to you both. That won’t change.”
“I know,” Sarah said. “But Mommy is in heaven. She can’t take care of us. I think she would want someone like Emily to do it. She would really like Emily.”
“I think so too,” I said, smiling again.
“You’re happier now,” Tommy said. “Ever since Emily moved in with us, you’ve been happier. I think that’s good. You’re nicer now, and you smile more. If Emily is the reason, then you should date her or marry her or whatever you want.”
“Thank you, Tommy,” I said. My eyes were filling again, and I blinked hard to dry them.
“Are you going to marry her?” Sarah asked.
I opened my mouth to answer, but no words came out. The truth was, I loved the idea of marrying Emily, but it was too soon to think about those things. She and I only admitted our feelings last night. Still, it was a nice thought. I smiled as I thought about Emily walking toward me wearing a white dress, her hair tied up beautifully. I could already see the veil extending out behind her, and just the image was enough to excite me.
“Maybe someday,” I said softly. “If she wants to marry me.”
“She will,” Sarah said firmly. “I know it.”
“How can you be so sure?” I asked.
“Because, if you’re nice, then she’ll marry you,” Sarah said. “That’s how it works.”
“No, it’s not,” Tommy said with a roll of his eyes. “She has to love him, Sarah. God, you don’t know anything.”
“I do too!” Sarah screamed. “You’re stupid!”
“Stop it,” I said with a sigh. “Let’s head home.”
I laughed to myself as we made our way back down the street. Our house wasn’t far, but Tommy and Sarah made the walk seem endless with their constant bickering. When we finally made it to the front door, I silenced them both with a look and pushed the door open. We stepped inside to see Emily sitting on the couch.
She looked over at us with a smile that took my breath away. Her long, dark curls hung loosely over her shoulders. They were wet so I knew she only just got out of the shower. She was wearing a pair of yoga pants that hugged her body and a T-shirt that was a little too small. I grinned at her and walked over, eager to kiss her.
I leaned down to kiss her, but she pulled away quickly, glancing frantically at the kids.
“It’s okay,” Tommy said. “You can kiss him. He told us you like him.”
“Oh, he did?” Emily asked with a laugh. She looked at me with raised eyebrows, and I just shrugged.
“Yeah,” Sarah said. “We don’t care if you kiss, just don’t make it a habit.”
Emily and I both laughed before we leaned together for a light kiss. The kids both grinned and then went about their business, playing games and ignoring us.
We spent the rest of the day playing together, eating lunch and then dinner. At night, we all curled up on the couch under one big blanket and watched a movie. We shared a bowl of popcorn and laughed some more. Tommy and Sarah both fell asleep before the movie was half over, but Emily and I stayed there for hours, just holding the kids and each other. It felt so safe under that blanket that neither of us ever wanted to move.