I woke in a strange room, half dressed, the cottony taste of old alcohol in my mouth. I rolled over, and a groan that was not my own alerted me to the presence of another person in the bed. I glanced over at her, only mildly surprised to realize I had no memory of this woman or the party we must have had last night. There were a few empty booze bottles scattered on the floor, one half-filled bottle of whiskey on the table just beyond my companion. And beer cans, some my brand, others a brand I’d never tasted before, were also scattered around the room, suggesting either that we’d swallowed an impossible amount of liquor the night before, or that there had been other people in the room at some point or another.

I got up, my head pounding with the movement. I stumbled across the room, tugging at my jeans, freeing myself just in time to release a bladder full of my overindulgence onto the lid of the toilet. I cursed, reaching down to lift the lid, releasing what felt like gallons into the already discolored water.

“Hey, baby,” the woman on the bed mumbled. “Come back to bed.”

I glanced at her, wondering where the hell I’d found her. The last thing I remembered was a dark bar on the highway, loud music and the acrid smell of smoke. I had no idea how I’d gotten to this no-tell motel.

I finished draining my bladder and thought about washing my hands, but figured they were cleaner without attempting to use the grimy sink. I kicked around a few bottles and cans, searching for my shirt, finally spotting it under a pile of what looked like puke. I decided to leave it there.

My car keys were on a low table next to my wallet. Empty, of course.

“Where are we?”

The woman didn’t answer. I poked her in the ribs with an index finger. She grunted but didn’t move. I sighed, deciding to leave her there. She could probably find her own way home.

My car was parked outside the door, relatively unharmed, thank goodness. I climbed in and took off, spotting a street sign some yards down the relatively busy interstate announcing I was more than seventy-five miles from home.

Wonderful.

By the time I made it to the office, I’d missed several meetings. Brent’s expression was tight as he watched me walk past his door. But he didn’t say anything because Raelyn was by his side, her knowing look making me feel guilt I didn’t deserve. She was the one who’d chosen to walk away. It wasn’t my choice.

I walked into my own office and threw myself into my chair, snatching open a drawer of my desk to grab a couple of aspirin. Every time I held the bottle, I remembered the aspirin she’d taken from the medicine cabinet in my bathroom. Couldn’t even leave me the damn pills she’d bought for me. How petty was that?

I swallowed the pills dry and turned to the computer, glancing through the emails that waited. I could barely focus with the headache that pounded at my temples.

“What the hell, Jack?”

Brent had come through the door, slamming it unnecessarily. The sound reverberated through my head, intensifying the pain. I pressed my hands to my temples and groaned.

“Was that necessary?”

“It’s a Wednesday morning, and you’re hung over. Yes, it was necessary!”

I sat back and forced myself to focus on him. “What I do outside this office is none of your business.”

“It is when it affects this business.”

I tilted my head to one side. “Stone Security has more clients than it can possibly service. Me missing a meeting or two—”

“You’re the face of the company, Jack. When you miss meetings, it tells clients that you couldn’t care less about their patronage. And with that new company opening across town, we can’t afford to alienate clients.”

“Our clients know us. The ones who matter wouldn’t even consider going elsewhere.”

Brent’s expression tightened. “I don’t think you get it, Jack. This company is everything to me and Bo and Gentry and Aiden. This is how we put food on the table. We can’t allow you to jeopardize that.”

I slapped my hands on the top of my desk as I stood. “I started this company. It was my idea for all of us to go in on it together. It was my idea to build the training center and to put Gentry in charge of it, to have Aiden design the tech and the underground bunker. It was my work, my connections, that made this place what it is!”

“And now you’re bringing it down by acting a fool over a damn woman!”

I had never wanted to hit one of my brothers as badly as I wanted to put Brent down in that moment. I clenched my fists, glad the desk stood between us.

“You better watch what you say, brother.”

“I know you’re having a hard time, Jack,” Brent said, his voice softening. “But you’re destroying everything that matters because of it. You wouldn’t let me do that after Madeline and Josie. I wouldn’t be a good brother if I let you do it after Rae.”

“You didn’t have to see Madeline and Josie every fucking day.”

“No.”

Brent paled slightly, and I knew it was the wrong thing to say. But I couldn’t take it back.

I sat back down and dragged my fingers through my hair, still damp from the shower. I fucked up. I’d been fucking up, and I knew it. But that knowledge didn’t make it any easier to admit it to my brother.

Watching Rae work with Brent every day in her capacity as his secretary, watching my brothers blossom in their relationships, watching all the happiness around me knowing that the one chance I thought I’d had at happiness was gone, was the hardest thing I’d ever done.

“I got an email the other day…”

Brent’s eyebrows rose. He didn’t ask. He simply took a seat in a chair in front of my desk and waited.

I sat back, glancing at the computer. I hadn’t even realized I’d been considering this possibility until I began to explain it to Brent.

“An old friend from the DEA, Harry Cravits, retired a couple of years ago. He runs a gun shop in a small town in Arizona. He said he’s having trouble with a group of militants who just moved into town.”

“He asked for your help?”

I tilted my head slightly. “I’m thinking about flying out there, checking things out for him.”

“To Arizona?”

“Yeah. Harry was a good friend. I’d like to see what I can do to help him.”

Brent inclined his head. “Might not be a bad idea.”

“And…” I dragged the word out as I formed the words I wanted to say in my head. “We’ve been talking about expanding, right?”

Brent’s eyebrows rose. “We have.”

“We’ve gotten a lot of clients from the west coast. It’d be more convenient if we had a satellite office out there to deal with those requests.”

“It would.”

“Maybe while I’m out there, I can check out some properties, maybe explore our options.”

Brent’s expression tightened. “Starting a new office would be a huge project, Jack. Are you sure you’re in the right frame of mind to do that right now?”

I bit back the resentment that rose in my throat at the suggestion that I was incapable of running the business I’d begun.

“I’m fine. Besides, a change of scenery might be just what I need.”

“Okay.”

Was it my imagination, or was Brent relieved to get rid of me?

I watched as he stood and brushed his hands against the front of his slacks. “We’ll have to talk to Bo, Aiden, and Gentry before we do anything. Remy, too.”

“Of course.”

“But it doesn’t hurt to check things out.”

“That was my thought.”

“When do you think you’ll go?”

There was nothing keeping me here. Rae wouldn’t talk to me. My brothers were all busy with their new relationships. Remy’s baby was just beginning to become mobile. Everyone had their own lives. Everyone was so happy it was sickening. Maybe going somewhere else, surrounding myself with different people, would change my perspective.

And maybe my absence would remind Rae of what she was walking away from.

“Immediately.”