“You are so beautiful,” I tell Piper. “Mason is a lucky man. And Hailey is about to get the best step-mom in the world.”
“Thanks, Lexi,” she says, trying to hold back tears so she doesn’t ruin her flawless makeup.
I leave her and the rest of the girls to their last-minute preparations as I go hunt down Kyle. After all, everyone else I know is in the wedding, so he is the only one I can sit with.
I eye the security guards as I pass by each exit. Mason is a well-known football hero and him tying the knot is sure to draw attention. I’m grateful for the added security at such a high-profile event. But even so, I still refused to stand up with Piper. I couldn’t risk any wedding party pictures making the newspaper.
“Mason is going to flip when he sees her,” I tell Kyle, when I find him staring at a stained-glass window. “I’ve never seen her look more beautiful.”
He shifts his stare from the window to me. Then his gaze rakes up and down my body, taking in my form-fitting chiffon dress. I realize this is the first time he’s seen me all dressed up. He opens his mouth as if he wants to say something. Maybe he wants to tell me he’s never seen me so beautiful. But he doesn’t. He just smiles and shuts his mouth. Much like he’s done since I told him I was moving out.
What he doesn’t know is that I lied to him. When I told him Baylor had offered me their guest room, it was a complete lie. That night in the bathroom when I finally realized he might never fully accept me, I panicked, saying the first thing that came to mind. And then the next day, I went to Baylor with my tail between my legs, begging her to let me stay with her until I could figure something else out.
She was only too happy to accommodate me. She said we could stay as long as we needed. But with three kids and a husband, I can only imagine adding two more bodies into the mix will be chaotic.
Maybe I can move back into Mrs. Peabody’s guest house. I can work for Baylor from there. And it’s only an hour train ride so I can come back for meetings and for girls’ night.
“Lexi?” He whispers my name so no one will hear, pulling me from my thoughts so he can escort me into the sanctuary.
He won’t call me Elizabeth. Not even in public. Not since that night in the bathroom. I guess he realized what he’d done. So now, if he needs to get my attention when we’re not around close friends, he’ll just say ‘hey.’ He may have even jokingly used the name sign he made up for me. But not Elizabeth. Never Elizabeth.
Kyle whispers something to the usher, and then the usher takes us to an inconspicuous spot several pews behind Piper’s family. More people funnel in and eventually, we become lost in the impeccably-dressed crowd.
Mason and his groomsmen take their places at the front of the church. Music starts and heads turn to watch an adorable Hailey dropping rose petals on her way down the aisle. Laughter ensues when she reaches the front and turns to Jan Mitchell to ask loudly, “Did I do good, Mema?”
Mallory and Chad walk down the aisle, followed by Baylor and Gavin and then Skylar and Griffin. Then Charlie, Piper’s matron of honor, is escorted by Ethan, who is Mason’s best man. The organist pauses before starting the processional. We all stand and watch Piper as she’s escorted by her proud father. He’s smiling from ear to ear, and maybe even crying, at the thought of marrying off his youngest daughter.
While everyone continues to stare at Piper, I look at the front of the church and watch Mason. This has always been my favorite part. Watching the groom as the bride makes her way down the aisle. Mason doesn’t even try to hold back the emotions he’s feeling. I envy Piper. This is how every groom should look at his bride.
I think back to the way Grant looked at me during our small ceremony that only consisted of my brother and a few of Grant’s police buddies. Or should I say, the way Grant didn’t look at me. He didn’t look at me because he was too busy watching the reactions of others as they looked at me. He liked to show me off, put me on display. I always thought it was because he was proud of me. I should have seen it that day, the day of my wedding. I should have seen the way he was collecting me like the way he collected his other trophies. I should have turned and run back up the aisle.
I wipe a tear that rolls down my cheek when Piper’s dad kisses her and hands her off to Mason. I have to choke back more when I see Mason mouth the words ‘I love you’ to her before the preacher gets started.
I want this. I’ve never wanted anything so badly in my life. I don’t care about the hundreds of people. I don’t care about the skillfully-decorated church. I don’t care about any of the pomp and circumstance. I just want to be looked at like that. To be completely and utterly revered by a man like Piper is right now.
I turn to look at Kyle before we sit, and my breath hitches. Because he’s not looking up at Piper and Mason like everyone else. He’s looking at me. And maybe I’m dreaming, but I could swear he’s looking at me with the same eyes as Mason was looking at his bride. He’s looking at me like he’s never wanted anything so badly in his life.
We sit down and I pull a tissue out of my purse to dab my wet eyes. Eyes that won’t seem to dry up because I want something I can never have. Eyes that continue to water because I know he does too.
Their vows make the congregation laugh. Their vows also make us cry. And as Kyle and I watch two of our friends get married, he reaches over and grabs my hand, lacing his fingers tightly with mine. We’ve never done this before—held hands. It’s nice. I close my eyes and cherish the moment. I’ll miss this.
When the preacher pronounces them husband and wife, we all cheer as Mason takes his wife in his arms, kissing her passionately before walking his bride up the aisle.
I feel my arm being tugged from behind. Kyle drags me out of the pew before the applause even dies down. He pulls me to the side of the sanctuary, behind a large support pole that holds up the balcony above. I look up at him, confused.
“Don’t move out, Lexi,” he says, his eyes begging me. “I thought I needed this.” He gestures back to the crowd. “I don’t. I don’t need any of this. I just need you.”
Tears well up in my eyes once again and I nod at him as realization dawns on me. “I do need this, Kyle. I want this. I want it for you. I want it for me. I want it for Ellie.”
He laughs at our unexpected, yet simultaneous changes of heart. “We’ll make it happen,” he says. “One day, Lexi, I promise we’ll make it happen.” He takes my head in his hands, rubbing his thumbs gently across my cheeks. “I don’t care if you’re Alexa Lucas, Elizabeth Smith or Lexi Stone—I love you no matter who you are.”
My heart thunders at his words that I’m not sure I heard correctly. I stare up into his eyes, wondering if this moment is real.
“Did you hear me, Lex? I said I love you. I love all of you,” he says, his voice a low vibration that sends shivers to my very soul. “And I love Ellie. And I want us to be a family, in whatever way we can. I’ll take you any way I can get you.”
I can’t hold back the emotions flowing from my eyes. I nod as I swallow the colossal lump in my throat. I’ve waited Ellie’s whole life to say these words. If I’m being honest, I’ve even waited all of mine to truly mean them. “I love you, too, Kyle.”
His eyes get glassy and he pulls me closer until our lips are almost touching. “Lexi, will you marry me . . . someday?”
I look up at the heavens, thanking God for this man. My doctor. My savior. The man I want Ellie to grow up with. The man I want to grow old with.
I can’t speak. I’m overcome with emotion. All I can do is hold up my hand and sign, “Yes.”