Chapter Eight
“I have eaten way too much today,” Brent complained as he set his ice cream bowl down on the coffee table, sitting back on the couch and staring up at the ceiling. “You’re a bad influence.”
Riley chuckled beside him, still working on his own ice cream. “Food is good for you. Ice cream is full of protein and mint is technically a leafy green. Carb loading is a thing real actual athletes do, so it has to be healthy. I’m just trying to take care of you.”
“It always seems to be you taking care of me,” Brent said.
“You’ve taken care of me a lot,” Riley responded, licking the bottom of his ice cream bowl before setting it down as well. “You just do it so automatically that you don’t even know you’re doing it.”
“Yeah?” Brent raised an eyebrow, surprised at that information.
“Seriously, yes. You’ve always been there for me. This is the absolute bare minimum you deserve in return.”
“You keep saying that.”
“Because it’s true,” Riley said, turning to look Brent in the eyes. “You give so much of yourself to other people and you do it without a second thought. You don’t even see yourself doing it. I’m trying to give back. That’s all.”
Brent nodded slowly, taking that in. He didn’t necessarily know what Riley was talking about, but he knew Riley wasn’t lying to him.
He trusted Riley. Riley and Emily were the only two people he really, truly trusted.
“Well, thank you,” Brent said. “For all of this. And I know I keep thanking you, but I’m not about to stop. It means a lot to me that you’re here.”
Riley reached out to take Brent’s hand, closing his long, elegant fingers around it and squeezing tight.
Riley had the fingers of an artist or a musician, but he’d never really been either of those things. Probably because he had the singing voice of a startled cat and the color coordination skills of a toddler.
“It means a lot to me that you want me here,” Riley said softly. “That you trust me to soothe your pain instead of adding to it.”
Brent did trust Riley to soothe him. He always had. He always would.
Riley would never hurt him. He knew that the same way he knew the sun would rise tomorrow.
Brent brushed his thumb over the back of Riley’s hand, staring into his warm brown eyes. Riley’s kindness shone out of him, his innate goodness so obvious to anyone who looked.
Before he’d decided he was going to, Brent leaned in, his eyes falling closed as his nose brushed against Riley’s, his lips making soft, hesitant contact. Brent’s mind wasn’t quite ready to commit yet, too afraid of rejection and consequences, but his heart…
His heart wanted to feel loved.
Riley would make him feel that way.
Not loved in quite the way he wanted to, but what Riley had to offer was enough. More than enough for now.
That was, if he was willing to offer it.
Brent really hoped he was. The need to be close to someone was overwhelming, and he couldn’t imagine it being anyone other than Riley right now.
He’d never been with another man before, but he knew Riley would be gentle with him.
“Brent,” Riley murmured, his voice soft and low, pushing gently against Brent’s shoulder.
It wasn’t exactly the needy gasp he’d been hoping for. Brent’s heart sank.
He backed away to look at Riley, wondering how badly he’d just screwed up.
“Before you say anything, I’m not saying no,” Riley started. “I just want you to be sure that this is what you want. I don’t want you coming out the other side hating me for taking advantage of you.”
“You’d never take advantage of me,” Brent said. He knew that for certain. Riley would never take advantage of anyone. It wasn’t his style.
“Of course not, but I don’t want you to feel that way.”
“I won’t.” Brent shifted the hand Riley was still holding so their fingers were linked together. “I just… I need… I want to feel loved right now. And it’s okay if you say no. I won’t hate you for that, either.”
“I’m not saying no,” Riley repeated.
Brent breathed a sigh of relief. He wasn’t being rejected. Riley was just being good to him, like he always was.
“And I do love you,” Riley added after a moment.
“I know,” Brent said.
Riley didn’t love Brent the way Brent sometimes wished he would, but Riley cared. And Riley had always been cool about platonic sex with other people, based on his stories.
Why shouldn’t they try it?
Before Brent could say anything else, Riley leaned in again. His mouth was so soft, so gentle against Brent’s lips that it made his heart hurt.
He hadn’t really expected Riley to be sweet. Sweet was good, though. Sweet was probably what he needed right now.
“We can definitely be the kind of friends who do this,” Riley murmured. “If you’re sure it’s what you want?”
“I’m sure.” Brent nodded, breathing in the scent of Riley’s skin, soaking in his warmth. He really, really wanted them to be the kind of friends who did this.
“Good.” Riley pecked Brent’s lips softly. “Because it’d be a shame to waste having access to that bed.”
Brent chuckled, his nerves easing as Riley climbed off the couch and held his hand out. This would be fine. He’d always wanted to try it, and he couldn’t imagine his first time being with anyone but Riley.
He took Riley’s hand, standing. “Thank you.”
“Thank me after.” Riley laughed, tugging Brent toward the bedroom.