Maddy and Jacob’s wedding day dawned bright and clear and crisp. The slight chill in the air a signal that summer was drawing to a close.
Ellie spent the morning in the shop – the original plan had been to schedule the celebration for the evening, because they hadn’t wanted to lose a day’s trading and Saturday was their busiest day. But, in the end she, Dee, Tess and Annie had made an executive decision to close up at one o’clock despite Maddy’s objections. They could make up the sales the next weekend with a leafleting push in Gratesbury and Salisbury. Both Maddy and Jacob had put in so much to the project and they deserved to have their special day properly marked… Plus, Ellie knew there were bound to be tons of last-minute details to see to that would require all hands on deck. The late arrival of the guys who were erecting the gazebo and a mad dash to Gratesbury to buy extra tea lights just two of the things that ended up on Ellie’s troubleshooting list.
By six o’clock, with the ceremony due to start at seven, she had finally downgraded from whirling dervish to multitasking maniac.
Entering the house after decorating the gazebo with Annie and Tess, she found her mother putting muslin covers on the trays of canapés she’d prepared for the reception. With an apron slung on over a royal blue body-con dress, her salt and pepper hair arranged in an elegant chignon, Dee looked the picture of calm, competent class.
‘Mum, you look gorgeous.’ Ellie’s stomach rumbled, she’d missed lunch in the melee – but everything was finally done. ‘And so does the food.’
The gazebo was ready for the guests to arrive, the tables for the wedding feast had been arranged and decorated in the shop forecourt, the flower arrangements her mother had got up at dawn to finish looked beyond beautiful in the rustic fall colours. Rob had begun to light the jam jar lanterns they had dotted around the grounds as the sun began to sink towards the horizon and the band Rob and Mike had booked were setting up for entertainment later in the evening.
The group of students they’d hired from Salisbury’s catering college to serve the meal, so that Dee could join in the festivities, milled around the kitchen stacking champagne flutes onto trays, and finishing the final prep.
The aroma of fresh herbs and roasted garlic wafting out of the kitchen and the glimpse of the wild mushroom and goat’s cheese tartlets Dee had just covered made Ellie’s mouth water.
‘Good, that’s the general idea.’ Dee smiled and straightened, flicking a tendril of hair back from her face. The subtle application of make-up accentuated her mother’s enviable bone structure and the cool blue of her eyes.
Ellie felt the pulse of pride in her chest. At all her mother, no, all of them, had achieved today. This would be a celebration not just of Maddy and Jacob’s love for one another, but of the love they all shared for this place, this community.
The pulse of sadness wasn’t far behind, at the thought of all the things she was going to miss when she went back to the US. She pushed the thought to one side – no time to mope about that now. Given the increasing awkwardness with Art now he had moved back into the house, she knew she’d made the right decision there.
‘You need to get upstairs and change,’ Dee admonished.
‘Right, but have you seen Josh? And Toto?’ She’d been keeping an eye out for them both for over an hour.
‘Toto’s upstairs moaning about the dress she has to wear. I haven’t seen Josh,’ her mother remarked.
‘I thought they were together.’ The two of them had headed off after breakfast to help Jacob decorate the vintage Land Rover Art had found to transport the bride and groom to their wedding night caravan. ‘He needs to get showered and changed into his suit.’
‘Toto might know where he is,’ Dee said, before one of the catering students interrupted to ask if it was time to start frying the sweetcorn and tofu fritters.
Ellie dashed up the stairs. She did not have time to track Josh down. But, as she raced down the corridor, Art stepped out of his bedroom
She barrelled into him, his whoosh of breath matched by her squeak of dismay.
Strong arms wrapped around her, to stop her tumbling on her arse. For a split second she was inhaling his delicious scent – soap and man – overlaid with the fresh hint of sandalwood cologne, her face nestled against the fabric of a starched white shirt.
She stumbled back. Awareness shot through her like wildfire. He looked magnificent, his tall rugged physique filling out the sleek lines of the expertly tailored single-breasted suit.
‘Art, sorry,’ she mumbled. The flash of something hot and yearning arched between them.
‘Are you OK?’ He hadn’t released her arm and the light touch of his fingertips made the skin pebble and pulse.
‘Yes.’ Although she didn’t feel OK, her emotions a jumble of needs and desires and dreams she couldn’t explain.
They were over – when was her body going to catch up?
His thumb stroked the inside of her elbow, setting off a riot of sensations.
‘I need to find Josh, have you seen him?’ she said, subtly tugging her arm out of his grasp.
‘His dad turned up and took him off somewhere,’ Art said, sweeping the still damp hair off his brow, the sneer in his voice unmistakeable.
‘He what? When?’ she said, trying to adjust her pulse from hysterical to merely frantic.
‘Couple of hours ago. Toto was pretty upset about it,’ he said, clearly mad with Dan.
Of course he was, this was the first day Toto and Josh had spent together since Dan’s arrival. Josh had been keen to spend time with Toto this morning, and had told Ellie he didn’t want to spend time with Dan, when Dan had texted. So why had he gone off with his father? And, more importantly, the wedding was starting in an hour. And Josh was a pivotal part of the ceremony.
‘She’s not the only one,’ she said.
‘Really? You didn’t sanction this?’ Art said, his dark brows lowering into that moody frown she’d seen far too often of late.
‘Of course not, why would I?’
‘Because you let that guy do whatever he wants.’
The harsh words and the accusation stunned her, almost as much as the judgemental frown.
Why was he having a go at her about Dan? When he’d made it very clear he wasn’t remotely interested in her relationship with her husband? She shook off the thought. She didn’t have time to worry about Art’s jerky behaviour. Because she had a pageboy to locate who seemed to have gone AWOL.
‘Where’s Toto?’ she said. Time to take the higher ground for the sake of the greater good.
‘In her room,’ he said, the frown still firmly in place. ‘Having a strop about her dress.’
‘OK, let’s start there. Maybe she knows where they’ve gone?’
She went to dash off, but he caught her arm, the pulse of reaction another infuriating reminder of how fickle her body was where this man was concerned.
‘I’ll question her,’ he said, his dark gaze skating over her skin. ‘You go and get changed. As tempting as you look in jeans and a T-shirt, we’ll have a riot on our hands from Totes if you turn up to the ceremony like that and she has to wear a dress.’
Tempting? Was he actually coming on to her? After the shitty way he’d been treating her since that night?
But before she could get her outrage past the obstruction in her throat caused by that hot assessing look, and the offhand compliment, he had stalked off down the corridor taking the last of the available oxygen with him.
*
Twenty minutes later, Ellie was showered and coiffured and dressed, wearing the bias-cut emerald green silk sheath and kitten heels she’d bought for the occasion. Art and Toto and Dee were nowhere to be found. The young wait staff had taken over in the kitchen.
She checked her phone, her panic levels rising, as she left the house, pulling on the pashmina she’d bought to go with her dress and ward off the autumn chill.
Had Josh turned up? She hadn’t heard the shower going. And Dan hadn’t answered his cell phone and the numerous messages and texts she’d sent.
She tapped out another one, as she picked her way across the reeds they’d laid down in the farmyard to protect people’s footwear. Maddy’s family and some of Jacob’s friends, who were staying nearby, were already being served with champagne and canapés. The fairy lights flickered in the dusk as she rounded the side of the barn.
The scene laid out before her took her breath away for a moment.
The jump and jitter of her pulse caused by Josh’s disappearance slowed to a crawl, the panic retreating to be replaced with something thick and viscous and overwhelming.
Annie and Tess stood at the entrance to the wedding gazebo, which was lit by the tiny sparkle of the lights woven into the ivy and rose garlands they’d spent most of the afternoon wrapping round the uprights. Dressed to the nines in their wedding finery – Annie’s curves looking luscious in vibrant scarlet and Tess’s slender figure elegant in flowing pale blue silk – they were laughing as they directed guests to the rows of folding chairs. The twins and Melody darted about between the chairs with a collection of Maddy’s young cousins. Rob and Mike were nearby sharing a beer with Jacob, who looked terrified, all three of them looking ridiculously dashing in the tailored suits that matched Art’s.
She scanned the growing crowd for her mum, and found her with her arm around Toto. The girl’s coltish physique and sun-bronzed skin, so much like her father’s, was flattered by the rose dress Maddy had picked out for her. The simple lines hinted at the beautiful woman she would become, while at the same time accentuating the tomboy beneath, there were no unnecessary frills or bows, Toto’s short dark hair tied back with an Alice band.
How strange that the first time she saw Toto in a dress, her appearance would make Ellie realise how closely she resembled her father, those high slanting cheekbones and wide chocolate-coloured eyes a strong hint to her heritage.
If Toto had made a fuss about wearing the dress, she seemed resigned to it now, her blush shy and heartbreakingly sweet as Art’s dark figure emerged from the crowd gathering round the bar area and leaned in to whisper something to his daughter.
Ellie tried not to look at Art, tried not to think about the great big gaping hole in her stomach, which widened a little more every time she saw him.
Toto laughed at whatever he had said to her, and Ellie felt the deep pulse of longing reverberate in her chest. But it wasn’t just a longing for Art, it was much deeper and more profound than that.
It was the longing to stay.
Why was she leaving Willow Tree Farm when she had come to love it so much? She didn’t want to go, and deep down she knew Josh didn’t want to go either. But, until this moment, when everything she would lose by leaving, everything they would both lose by leaving, was laid out before her, she had consistently refused to ask that fundamental question of herself.
Was this the choice her mother had been talking about? Not the choice to go or stay, so much as the choice to stand up for herself and Josh’s best interests.
Josh had been so happy here this summer, and so had she. And instead of being prepared to talk to Dan about the possibility of staying, and figuring out if they could make it work, she had spent all her time obsessing about Art and how miserable she felt about losing something that she had since convinced herself had never really existed.
But when had her relationship with Art become more important than what she wanted for herself? And for her son?
Clarity came like a blinding light as Art captured her gaze and, detaching himself from Dee and Toto, walked towards her.
His gaze raked over her and desire flashed across his face. A desire so dark and elemental, the deep pulsing in her chest took on a chaotic, kinetic rhythm. Living here with Art would be hard, knowing that they still wanted each other, but their relationship wasn’t the whole story.
Life was full of regrets, of mistakes, of paths not taken and, as her mother said, ultimately the only way to weather them was to learn from them and forge your own damn path. From this moment forward that’s what she was going to do.
‘You look good,’ he said, the husky voice tense but thick with desire.
For all his commitment issues, Art had made her feel so good about herself in those crazy few weeks. She could use that now.
‘Thanks, so do you,’ she said, letting her gaze absorb the shift of his shoulders under the suit jacket. ‘Any news about Josh?’
‘Toto said his dad took him to Gratesbury for a burger and promised to be back by six.’
Ellie pulled her phone out of her clutch purse to re-check the time. Six forty-five. Fear gripped her, galloping right through the renewed blast of frustration.
‘They’re forty-five minutes late.’
Could they have been in an accident? What if this wasn’t Dan’s usual selfishness, what if it was something much worse than that?
‘Ellie, breathe.’ Art touched her arm. ‘We’ll find them.’
‘It’s probably nothing.’ She tried to reason with herself. ‘Dan’s always chronically late for everything. Although I don’t understand why Josh went with him. I know he wanted to hang out with Toto today.’
‘Toto said he didn’t want to go, but Dan insisted.’
‘But why?’ This was just getting worse and worse.
‘Ellie, is everything OK?’ Dee arrived, flanked by Toto.
‘Josh is missing with Dan,’ Art said, still holding her arm.
‘Everyone’s seated, guys, is something going on?’ Tess joined their huddle with Annie.
Ellie forced herself to breathe and to think. Panicking wasn’t going to help.
Jacob and Rob and Mike arrived. ‘Is Josh not back yet?’ Jacob asked, looking as if he were about to pass out.
‘No, do you think you could get in touch with Maddy’s mum?’ Ellie said, determined to calm the groom down first. ‘Tell her to hold off arriving for a few minutes.’ She needed to focus on fixing this, rather than turning it into a total catastrophe. Josh was OK. Dan was just an inconsiderate idiot who couldn’t be bothered to answer his damn phone.
‘Sure,’ Jacob said, digging his phone out of his jacket pocket to text his fiancée’s mum before Maddy arrived in her bridal gown with the place in an uproar.
‘Tess, Annie, could you two tell everyone we may be slightly delayed, the bride’s prerogative and all that.’
‘Got it,’ Tess said, as she and Annie headed off.
‘Toto, how about you go into the house and find Josh’s suit, he can change in the shop when he gets here.’ Because he would get here soon. Very soon.
But, as Toto sped off, Art swore. ‘There they are.’
The huge surge of relief at the sight of Dan and Josh appearing was quickly quashed, when Art stalked off to greet them.
She and everyone else raced after him.
Josh ran towards her.
‘Mom, Mom, I’m sorry I’m late.’ He sounded distraught, his lip quivering and his eyes wide with anxiety, reminding her of the boy she had brought with her to Wiltshire three months ago. ‘I told Dad we had to get back, but he didn’t listen. I didn’t even want to get a burger. I wanted to stay with Toto.’ She couldn’t imagine how much courage it must have taken for Josh to finally stand up to his father. Pride for her son blossomed as Dan strolled up, behind him.
The languid stride suggested he didn’t have a care in the world, as if he hadn’t just deliberately given his son and everyone else a panic attack.
‘Stop whining, Joshie,’ he said, the feckless grin antagonising her more. ‘We got here in time, just like I told you, the wedding hasn’t even started yet.’
‘Where have you been?’ she demanded, her voice rising in pitch with her anger. ‘Why did you take him off like that?’
‘Because I wanted to have a burger with my son.’ His gaze flicked to Art’s and suddenly she knew. Dan’s desire to take Josh out for lunch had nothing to do with his son and everything to do with his pissing contest with Art. He’d been staking a claim. As if Josh’s affection were a possession to be bartered, to prove that Dan was somehow the better man – and, in so doing, he’d proved exactly the opposite. ‘Joshie’s whining about nothing, as usual,’ he said.
Anger swept through Ellie in a mighty wave, gathering in its wake all those times Dan had treated her and their son with the same careless contempt, but before she could open her mouth to tear into him, Art’s big body blocked her view.
‘You wanker.’ The low words ground out, followed by the crunch of skin hitting bone.
Dan screamed and grasped his face, his body folding in on itself as he wheeled back and collapsed onto the grass.
‘Dad!’ Josh shouted.
‘Art!’ Dee yelled.
Toto danced from foot to foot, looking rapt.
‘What the hell is wrong with you?’ Dan shouted at Art, staggering to his feet and testing his jaw.
Art stepped into his personal space, the sight of his bunched fist held rigidly at his side, the knuckles bleeding, finally snapped Ellie out of her trance.
Oh crap, they are going to kill each other and ruin Maddy’s dream wedding.
People were rushing across the grass to see the show. Rob and Mike grabbed hold of Art and dragged him back, to stop him landing another punch, while Dan propped his fists in front of him impersonating Gentleman Jim.
Diving into the fray, Ellie slapped a palm to Dan’s chest before he could take a swing.
‘Don’t you dare, you’ve done enough damage already,’ she shouted.
‘Me?’ he shrieked, clearly mortally offended, but he dropped his fists. ‘What about Farmer Goddamn Giles?’
His lip was cut and starting to bleed, but, unlike Art’s torn knuckles, the sight didn’t move her in the slightest. Dan had finally met someone he couldn’t charm or trick or cajole – a man who had seen through his immature posturing, just like she had. It served him right.
‘I expect an apology or I’m going to goddamn sue,’ Dan added, swiping at the blood with a knuckle. ‘What your boyfriend just did to me is assault.’
‘Is Art your boyfriend, Mom?’ Josh said, his gaze darting between her and Dan.
‘I can explain,’ she said to Josh. ‘We can talk about this later, sweetheart.’ Because no way was she having this conversation with her son and Art’s daughter in front of the whole congregation. She cursed Dan again. ‘But first we have a wedding to do.’ She tucked a finger under Josh’s chin. ‘You need to run into the house and get into your suit, I left it on your bed.’
Josh’s face was a picture of confusion as he swivelled his head between her and Dan. ‘But what about…?’
‘Come on, Josh, I’ll race you,’ Toto said, grabbing Josh’s arm.
Ellie wanted to kiss the little girl as the two of them sprinted off across the farmyard, Toto kicking off her pumps and hiking up her dress to streak ahead of Josh.
‘What do you see in Farmer Giles anyway?’ Dan said, disgruntled now as he continued to nurse his jaw. ‘The guy’s a jerk.’
Not as much of a jerk as you are, Dan.
‘That’s none of your business,’ she said. ‘It stopped being your business three months ago. And when you get that through your head we’ll all be better off.’ She slapped her hands on her hips, the events of the last few minutes finally giving her the courage she needed. This probably wasn’t the time or the place, but she didn’t want to wait.
‘I don’t want to come back to the US. I want to stay here in Wiltshire.’
Dee let out a little sob of breath and Dan frowned. ‘What are you talking about?’
‘I love it here and I believe our son does too. Our marriage is over. And I want to have the chance to build a new life here with Josh.’ A new life she’d already starting building.
‘But he’s my kid, too? What about what I want?’ Dan said, sounding petulant.
‘And he’ll always be your kid. And he loves you.’ Even when you behave like a dick. ‘But however much you love Josh, you have never wanted the responsibility of being a full-time dad. If you did you wouldn’t have always left the important stuff to me. Like telling him about the divorce. And you would have known how important this wedding was to him. You would have got him back here on time, instead of ignoring his feelings and letting him get so anxious. You would have put his needs above your own and you never have.’
She took a deep breath, not sure how Dan would react to her next request.
‘I’m asking you to do that now. Come back tomorrow and let’s talk to him together and then we can see what he wants to do, because that’s what really matters.’
If Josh didn’t want to stay, she would respect his decision, and they would both return to the US. But after the last week of endless activities with Dan and today’s argument, she had the sneaking suspicion father and son had both had more than enough quality time to last them for quite a while.
Even so, she braced herself for Dan’s response.
But the fight she had been expecting didn’t come. Dan gave a weary sigh and dug his fingers through his hair. He brushed the carefully styled waves, which had once captivated her, when she had been young and foolish and infatuated with him, off his brow.
That flop of hair didn’t captivate her any more, but it still made him look boyish and oddly vulnerable when he said, ‘Are you actually in love with that dick?’
‘This isn’t about him,’ she said, because it absolutely wasn’t, not any more. ‘I want to stay here for me and Josh.’
Dan studied her for the longest time. ‘Fine, talk to Joshie tomorrow and let me know what he says,’ he said, the wry smile making him hiss when it split his lip. ‘I think he’s kind of pissed with me at the moment.’
Ellie nodded, grateful that Dan wasn’t going to fight her on this. But also saddened that Dan was prepared to leave this important discussion about their son’s future to her alone.
Dee stepped in and took Dan’s arm. ‘How about I get you washed up then you can join the wedding party?’ she said.
‘No thanks on the wedding, they give me the jitters.’ Dan shuddered theatrically and Ellie let go of the last of her anger with him. She’d always expected too much of him, at least now his limitations as a father might work in her favour. And Josh’s favour.
‘I won’t say no to some TLC, though,’ Dan added, milking it just a little bit. ‘But be gentle, that guy’s got a harder right hook than Wladimir Klitschko’
Dee leant in and whispered in Ellie’s ear. ‘I’ll hold the fort, go and find Art. He’ll want to know about your decision.’
Art.
Ellie swung round to find Rob and Mike standing empty-handed.
‘You’re going to stay?’ Mike said. ‘Tess will be overjoyed.’
‘Your ex isn’t as much of a twat as I thought,’ said Rob at the same time.
‘Hopefully, yes,’ she said to Mike. ‘He’s not my ex yet, but he soon will be.’ She spotted Art through the crowd making his way towards the orchard, away from the wedding congregation that was milling around being offered canapés and champagne.
She headed after him only to get waylaid en route by Tess and Annie.
‘What happened with Mr Skank?’ Annie said.
Ellie turned to watch Dee leading Dan towards the farmhouse. ‘He’s not a skank, he’s just woefully immature.’ But maybe that was finally starting to change.
‘Jacob said to tell you Maddy’s not ready yet anyway, you’ve got at least another–’ Tess checked her watch ‘–twenty minutes before the bride is going to make her grand entrance.’
‘I need to speak to Art.’ And, unlike last time, she wasn’t going to let him stop her. One of them had to break cover, and it looked like that someone was going to be her.
Because the first thing she planned to ask him was, what the hell had he been thinking socking Dan in the jaw?
‘Go easy on him,’ Annie shouted after her.
Sod that, she was through being easy on him. And on herself.
No more sulking, no more heartache and no more drama. Tomorrow would be a new dawn in her life, she wasn’t running away any more from difficult decisions. Or tough conversations. Or her own emotions. And, as of now, neither was he.