After driving back, Braden wanted to go to Rowdy’s to see Kelly, but first he headed home to check on our mom. She was still sick. When he got to the bar, he reported that she was sleeping, but it was my turn to check on her before bed. He was looking at Kelly as he said that and added, “And you have to sleep there.”
I didn’t ask where he was going to be. The answer was obvious. When I tried to help Kelly behind the bar, she waved me off so Luke and I played pool, drank beer, and hung out like we were best friends again. While watching my brother at the bar as he flirted with Kelly¸ I gripped my pool stick tightly for a moment.
I was happy.
I didn’t want anything to take this moment away.
“You okay?”
Luke was waiting for me to take my shot. I replied, meaning it, “Yeah, I’m good.”
“Good. Now don’t sink the eight ball.”
“Smart ass.” I winked at him, then bent down, and hit the white ball. The eight ball was the only one left to sink, but I missed it. As Luke took his shot, I put my stick away. I didn’t need to look to know he had won the game.
“What? You’re calling it quits?”
Pointing at the clock, I said, “It’s almost closing time, and Braden said it was my turn to check on our mom.”
“I’ll go with you.”
My heart slammed against my chest. The day had been fine. There’d been people around us most of the day so that meant no ‘talk’ time, but hearing his voice as it dipped low, a tingle ran through me. I felt light-headed. Pressing a hand to my forehead, I felt myself nodding. My voice said, “Sure. That’d be great.” The reply sounded like it came from a distance, like someone else had answered for me. But no, it was me.
Luke’s hand touched the inside of my arm and slid down until his palm fitted into mine. He wasn’t looking at me as he did it, and the whole motion was intimate. My mouth went dry. Feeling my stomach doing somersaults, I followed behind Luke as he led the way out of Rowdy’s and across the street to my mom’s house.
When we walked into the house, everything was dark. Braden had said she had gone to bed, so Luke waited as I cracked open her door. The room was dark. She was in the bed with the blankets pulled over her. She seemed fine, and I started to step back into the hallway, but a sixth sense pulled me to her bed. I didn’t question it.
Flipping on the light, she still seemed fine… until I saw the blood seeping through her blanket.
I stopped, my hand instinctually pressing to my own stomach. Something was wrong. Then my body switched to automatic pilot, and I watched myself moving forward, reaching for the blanket, and pulling it back. There was blood between her legs. So much blood. Her pajamas were coated in it, and she was pale. I might’ve gasped, but I wasn’t sure. Then Luke was behind me. His hands wrapped around my shoulders, and he moved me behind him.
I couldn’t move. I couldn’t look away from all that blood, and instead of seeing my mother’s body, I was seeing his again.
I started trembling as the memories invaded me.
Luke’s body was on the ground with blood everywhere. He was on his stomach, and his head was twisted to the side. His eye was already swollen shut, and his cheek looked broken. I stumbled into the kitchen and fell to my knees, but I was so scared to touch him. I couldn’t speak. I couldn’t breathe. My heart was pounding so loudly, I couldn’t hear anything.
“Luke.” I sobbed, pressing the back of my hand to my mouth. “Luke.”
“Shit!”
Dazed, I looked up to see Braden standing in the doorway. His eyes were wide and scared. “What the fuck happened?”
The sobs were choking me, but I managed to whisper out, “I’m scared to touch him.”
“Bri.” Braden darted over Luke’s feet and around me. I heard him in the distance on the phone. “I have an emergency…”
Help was coming. Help would fix Luke. My hand went to his shoulder. There was so much blood everywhere. Where was the wound? I needed to put pressure on it to make it stop bleeding, didn’t I? Stop it somewhere? I wanted to do something. My hands fell to the bottom of my shirt, and I started to lift it off.
“What are you doing?” Braden had come back to kneel beside me.
“I don’t know. Something.” I peeled it off the rest of the way, leaving me in the tank top I’d been wearing underneath. Balling it up in my fist, I started to press down on one of the larger wounds. I wanted it to soak up some of the blood, but it wasn’t enough. Braden realized what I was doing and disappeared for a moment. He returned with a pile of towels, and both of us started to absorb the blood, being gentle as we did so nothing could get infected. When the paramedics got there, they stopped in shock. Two piles of bloodied towels were on either side of us, and we were covered in it, too.
One asked, “Are you two hurt, too?”
I shook my head and gestured to Luke, choking out in a hoarse whisper, “Him. Help him.”
Only him. Always him.
We were pushed backwards so they could work on Luke, and it seemed like ages before they loaded him into the ambulance. As they did, one said to Braden, “We have room for one person. Whoever it is, decide now.”
Braden turned to me, but I waved him ahead. I said, “You go.”
Instant confusion crossed his face. “What?”
“Go! I mean it.”
The paramedic climbed inside and reached out to close the door. He yelled out, “Decide now, buddy!”
“Go!” I yelled again.
Braden shook his head, but leaped inside the ambulance. The door slammed shut right behind him, and my body jerked from the force of the door. As they took off, I felt my heart break.
Luke’s voice brought me back to the present. With his shoulder lifted to help cradle the phone pressed to his ear, he said, “Lots of blood loss. She’s pale. Uh, her pulse seems okay, but I couldn’t find it that well.” He paused. “Yeah, she’s breathing.” He looked at me. “Bri, an ambulance is coming. Can you give them information?” He held the phone to me, but I was still seeing his body, not hers. “Bri!”
No. It was my mom. My mom’s body was in the bed, not Luke’s. It wasn’t him. I grabbed the phone, shoving the haunted memories away. “Yes.” The phone operator asked me more questions, and I answered what I could, but as I did, I was aware of Luke’s gaze. He had gone back to my mom’s side, feeling for her pulse, but his eyes weren’t missing a beat from me either. He knew something was wrong with me, but I couldn’t let him know. Shame hung over me in a dark cloud, and I turned away, clutching the phone as I focused on whatever the operator was asking me.
Help my mom. That was my main focus right now. Help her, like I hadn’t been able to help Luke.
“Bri—Bri!” Luke snapped his fingers in front of me.
“What?”
He pointed to the hallway. “Grab some towels. I’m going to go and make sure they find the right house—”
I grabbed his arm, stopping him. “No.” I couldn’t be here. “I’ll go. You stay here with her. I need to call Braden.”
“Okay. Yeah.” Luke nodded in a rushed motion. “That’s fine. Go.”
After grabbing some towels for him, I hurried outside. The street was eerily calm. It was in the middle of the night, and only the one streetlight lit up the block. I flipped on our outside lights and dialed Braden’s number, as I went to the end of our block.
A girl answered, but his voice came on a second later.
“Braden!”
“Whad?” He was slurring.
I asked, “You’re drunk?”
“Why?”
“Is that girl drunk, too? What happened to Kelly?”
“Come on. Don’t start on me.”
“Where are you?” The phone was sliding out of my hands. They were so sweaty. “Are you at the bar?”
“What? No. I left an hour ago. Where ar—”
“It’s Mom.”
He stopped. I heard movement from his end, and his voice was suddenly clearer, “What?”
“It’s Mom. We checked on her, and she was bleeding. She’s uncon—”
“What?!”
“Luke called 911. They’re coming to the house now.”
“Shit! I’m on my way.”
Flickers of red and white lights started to appear around the corner, and they grew brighter and brighter until the ambulance slowed enough to turn down our street. I gripped the phone tighter and hurried out. “Don’t. They’re here. Go to the hospital. If you’re drunk and the girl’s drunk, call a cab.”
“Bri, do I—”
I hung up and waved both of my arms in the air. “Over here! Here!”
Everything went fast after that. They pulled into the driveway, and not much was said between the paramedics and me. One had already gone inside to assess Mom. She radioed within seconds for the gurney, and the rest of the paramedics went inside with it. A younger male followed behind them with a bag and clipboard.
I stayed outside and bent my head down, my hands braced on my knees. Then I breathed. I just breathed.
“Hey.” I looked up to see Luke headed toward me.
The paramedics bypassed us with the stretcher my mom was strapped to. When she was loaded into the ambulance, one of the paramedics asked, “Anyone riding with us?”
Luke waved him off. “Go ahead. We’ll be right behind you guys.” He faced me and asked, “You ready to go?”
I nodded, raking a hand over my face. “Uh, yeah.” I looked at the front door.
Luke said, “I already locked up.” He had my keys in his hand, and he pointed to my car. “I’ll drive. You’re too scatterbrained right now. Did you call Braden?”
Luke got behind the steering wheel. I got into the passenger side. “He’s going to meet us at the hospital.”
“He was sober?”
I shrugged. I didn’t care. “He’ll get there.” Braden always pulled through. Unlike yourself, my own inner thought laughed at me, remembering Braden’s words.
Luke wasn’t my mom.
This wasn’t my fault.
My jaw firmed, and I shoved the memories back down, once and for all. I had to be there for her, not paralyzed with fear. This wasn’t my fault, I reminded myself again.
“Bri? You okay?”
“What?”
“You’re acting weird. You checked out before. What’s going on with you?”
His eyes were warm with concern, and there was no judgment. Pain sliced through my chest. Of all people, he was the only one who had the right to judge me. Feeling more tears, I swallowed over a damn lump in my throat and moved my head up and down. “I’m fine. It’s just…” Did I tell him? Was now the time?
“It’s your mom. I get it.” Luke gave me a crooked grin, the streetlights flashing over his face.
Yeah. My mom.
This wasn’t the time.
“Bri?”
“Sorry.” My mom. “Yes, it’s my mom.”
He reached over and took my hand in his. “She’ll be fine.” Our fingers interlaced, and he squeezed my hand. “The paramedics didn’t seem too worked up. I’m sure she’ll be fine. Your mom is a badass. She’s tough as nails.”
I clasped onto his hand with both of mine and just held onto him. When we got there and found her room, the doctor met us at the door. He held us back, shooing us to the side as my mom was wheeled right back into the hallway.
I pointed at her bed. “That’s my mom. Where’s she going?”
The doctor nodded once. “Surgery. We need to go in there and find out what’s wrong. It will be a few hours.” I wanted to ask him questions, but it wouldn’t have mattered. He wasn’t listening. The doctor hurried after them, and they all disappeared behind another set of doors.
“Bri!”
Braden was hurrying for us, a girl in tow behind him. His hair was disheveled. He had one hand twisted in it, and his other hand was dragging the girl behind him, but she didn’t seem to mind. They were both barely dressed. My brother looked like he had just pulled on his shirt. It was sticking to the top of his chest, and his jeans were sagging low on his hips, still unbuttoned at the top. The girl looked slightly better. Her skinny jeans were glued to her. She only had one of her sandals on her feet. She was gripping the other in her free hand, and her shirt, a large flowing top, slipped off one of her shoulders. She tugged it back up, but it fell right off again. Her hair, like my brother’s, was a mess. Bleached blonde and sticking in the air. She was trying to calm it down, but with her shoe in her hand, it was becoming more of a mess.
They both reeked of alcohol and smoke. I didn’t want to ask who drove. They were there; that’s all I cared about.
“Mom?” Braden pressed, his eyes wide and urgent.
Luke answered for me, still holding my hand. “She’s in surgery. The doctor told Bri it’d be a few hours.”
“A few hours?” Braden looked in pain. He cursed. “I need coffee. Now.”
“There’s a coffee machine in the cafeteria,” a nurse mentioned as she breezed past us.
“Okay. Well, we’ll go down there. Bri,” Braden said, “you want coffee?”
I nodded. “Yes, please.”
He tugged the girl with him, heading down the hallway. “We’ll be back. Hopefully more sober.” As they started forward, the girl glanced back over her shoulder and gave Luke a tiny smile.
I almost went after her. The sight of her smile had me gritting my teeth and wanting to use her sandal against her head.
“Easy,” Luke murmured, holding me back.
I rolled my eyes. “I know. I know, but seriously, she’s with him. They just screwed, and she’s giving you the look?” I sneered at her even though she wasn’t looking at him anymore. “Girls like her make the whole Girl Power thing go up in smoke.”
Luke laughed. “You usually handle those girls better. You stressed about your mom?”
Among other things, I thought. “Yeah.”
“She’ll be okay. I’m sure of it.”
“I hope so.”
“Come on, let’s find out what room she’ll be admitted to when she gets out of surgery.”
“Yeah. Okay.”
We were showed to the room Mom would be brought back to, and coffee was delivered to us. It was an hour later, with Luke sitting in the chair beside me humming a new song and playing with my fingers, when we got our first visitor.
I sat upright, pulling my hand from Luke’s. “What are you doing here?”
It was Elijah.
Luke sat up with me, but threw me a frown. I flushed. I don’t know why I had acted like I was doing something wrong. Then I asked again, “Eli, what are you doing here?”
“Uh.” His gaze was trained on Luke. “I’m here for Skeet.”
“Me?”
“Luke?” I asked.
“Yeah. Uh…” Elijah glanced around the empty hospital room. “I heard you were here. Can I talk to you outside?” He stepped out right away, and Luke followed, sending me another confused look.
It wasn’t long before he poked his head back in. “I have to go do something. Stay put. I’ll be back.”
“Wha…wait!”
But it was too late. Again. They both hurried down the hallway. I darted for the doorway and watched them disappear around a corner, turning down the hallway that led to the hospital’s main entrance.
My alarm went off. Wherever they were going, it wasn’t good.