After I got the girls to sleep, I paced in the living room. God, what had just happened? Beck had kissed me again. Once could’ve been an accident but twice now meant that the first kiss hadn’t just been in a fleeting moment.

But now, everything was so confusing. He was my boss. Not that he took advantage of me, hell no. I wanted that kiss probably more than he had. But even so, it was wrong. It was distracting. I had to stop this now. Before it got out of hand.

It was only nine o’clock, and I didn’t expect him home for a few hours. He was probably dancing the night away with beautiful Laurel. Maybe he was kissing her? He probably only kissed me because he was horny and thought I was easy. From all the men I had seen around my mother, I realized that men didn’t have many standards. They were happy with any warm body. Or even a cold one for that matter.

To distract myself, I decided to make some flan. It was so easy to cook, and the girls loved it. It was also soft enough that Sky could try it. I started adding sugar and a tablespoon of water to a pan and placing it on the stove until it reached the desired dark color. Once it had, I removed the pan from the heat and scooped the hardened sugar into a pie pan. Then, I mixed eggs, La Lechera Condensed Milk, Media Crema, a can of evaporated milk, and some vanilla. Once blended, I poured this mixture into the mold, filled a baking pan with water, and baked it at three hundred fifty degrees for an hour.

But Beck still wasn’t home yet.

I was about to scour the kitchen counters as a way to deal with my anxiety. But the door opened, and Beck stood there with a sheepish grin.

I opened my mouth to tell him all the ways that these kisses were wrong. To tell him all the reasons why this could never work. All the reasons why no matter how much I wanted him, nothing would come from these kisses but heartbreak. Especially mine.

But no words came out of my mouth. Instead, my weak heart ran to him like a scene from a movie, and before I could come to my senses, his lips covered mine.

But this time, we didn’t stop at a kiss. A hunger that I didn’t know existed in me exploded. Beck scooped me up into his arms and carried me to his bedroom, a room I had only briefly been in, as I had tried desperately to respect his privacy.

He gently laid me down on his big king size bed. I was drunk on his scent.

“Wait, Beck. Is the event over?”

“No,” he said in between kisses. “I just couldn’t wait to be with you any longer. I’ve wanted to kiss you for so long.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really.”

I wanted to get lost in the moment, lost in him, and turn off my brain.

But I had never been one to give in to temptation. I prided myself on being the sensible one, the responsible one.

“But, we should stop. I’m your nanny.”

He laughed. “No, you’re Sky’s nanny. You’re my woman.”

Ay! Could this man be any more perfect? His words filled me with delight. I kissed him back and allowed myself to be present. I savored the taste of his mouth, the scent of his cologne, the strength of his touch. My hand glided down his body, and I rubbed over his length. It simultaneously excited me and petrified me. The last time I had seen a naked man was when one of my mother’s johns walked out of our one bathroom in the middle of the night. He stood there buck naked, and when his eyes met mine, I swore he was going to rape me.

But for once my mom had saved me. She had lured him back to her room. The one thing I’d say for her is that she never allowed us to get abused.

My hand reached for the shiny gold buckle on his belt. As I tried to undo it, he stopped me.

“No, tonight is all about you. Let me worship you,” he said as he continued to kiss me.

Worship me? I tensed up. The thought of having pleasurable sex was foreign to me. I’d had sex before, but honestly, I had never really enjoyed it. And I had never been in any sort of relationship with my partner.

He finally pulled away from my lips. “Are you okay? Look, if you want me to stop, say the word, and I will never touch you again. But don’t back out because you’re scared. I give you my word that I won’t hurt you.”

I wanted to believe every word he said. But how could what he just said be true? Of course, he would hurt me. He was leaving next month to go to Pensacola and fly around the country, and I would move to San Diego. His wife died just last year. Was I the first woman he had kissed since she passed? For some reason, I thought I was. I was clearly a rebound. An amazing man like him would never get serious with the nanny. This was a fairy tale. And no matter how much I had prayed that they were when I was Ana María’s age, I knew fairy tales weren’t real.

But I didn’t want my dream to die. I wanted to drown in his kisses, live in his world, and believe for once in my own happy ending.

“I’ve never been better. And no, I don’t want you to stop. I want to kiss you forever.”

Joy flooded my body. I wanted him. I needed him.

But any delusion I had that I was in control quickly vanished when he scooped me up and threw me down on the bed. He ripped off his shirt, and I gasped—mesmerized by his body. His shoulders were broad and perfectly sculpted. The scruff of his beard prickled my skin as he savagely kissed me, pressing his incredible body into mine. I could feel him press against my thighs. I was desperate to feel him inside of me.

“You are so beautiful, Lo,” he said between kisses. His mouth made its way down to my neck, and I arched my back. He pulled the strap of my tank top down and blew kisses on my chest. His tongue darted over my nipples, and I moaned. I was already so turned on and we weren’t even naked yet.

For a second, I thought he was going to take it slow, but my sweet, patient man had vanished. He was replaced by an animal. A man that I never even imagined in my deepest fantasies. He removed my top, and his lips made a tight seal around my nipple, and his tongue flicked it. I never knew I could feel so good, so desired, so hot, so sexy. I writhed under him, desperate for more of him, more of his mouth, more of his soul. My arms wrapped around his back, pulling him into me, begging for relief.

His mouth gave my other nipple attention as his hand reached between my legs. He pulled down my pants, exposing my panties, and then kissed down my thighs. Suddenly, my body tensed up, and nerves took over my mind. What if my mom was right and men just wanted one thing? What if he fucked me today and then fired me tomorrow? I believed that he was a great guy and not possible of such betrayal and dishonesty, but my fear consumed me.

He was so in tune with me that he stopped and kissed my lips again and looked me in the eyes. “Relax, baby. I’m crazy about you. You’re beautiful. I’m not going anywhere.”

His words soothed my anxiety. I refused to question him. Not today. Not now.

He stared at my body. I had always been self-conscious of being leered at by men, but I loved the way Beck looked at me. I felt that he saw my inner beauty, not just my looks.

“Perfect. Seriously, Loma, you are so sexy.”

He made his way back down to my panties and blew over the fabric before he pulled them down. His lips pressed against me and he licked down my center.

Ay! My hand grasped the top his head. His warm tongue felt delicious against my folds. I was so wet, and he ate me like I was his favorite dessert.

The pressure built between my legs as he licked me and I didn’t know if I could hold on. This felt so much better than I could’ve ever imagined. My belly coiled, and my breath hitched.

“Oh, Beck!”

Before I could hold myself back, pleasure rippled through every inch of my body, and I exploded into ecstasy. I felt like I was going to black out, but instead, I giggled uncontrollably like a school girl.

Beck gave me a final kiss and then looked up at me and grinned.

I sat up and reached for his pants again, wanting to return the favor, but he stopped me.

“Hey, not tonight babe. We have the rest of our lives to be together.”

And with those words, a lump grew in my throat. This was truly happening. Beck had feelings for me. He saw a future.

Then why was I waiting for this to blow up in my face?

“Oh no! I forgot I had flan in the oven!”

I threw on my clothes and raced out of the bedroom, just in time to save my dessert. Beck joined me a few minutes later, and we indulged in the creamy treat. And my life was as sweet as my flan.