Chapter 1

Shane

Mrs. Fairfax was explaining a concept on the board, a blur of numbers and lines that probably would have made sense to me if I were paying attention. I wasn’t. I wasn’t watching Mrs. Fairfax’s sweeping hand gestures, nor was I watching the slow ticking of the clock above the board, nor was I watching the rain cascade down the dirty window pane. The only spot in the room that received my full attention was one desk, three down from the front and two in from the side.

Dallas Keane’s desk.

She was leaning over her binder, paying almost as little attention to the lesson as I was. The hand holding her pen tapped out a rhythm against her other palm, and I wondered whether she was tapping out the beats of a song or if it was just some random pattern. Her shoulder length thick hair formed a silky curtain around her face. It caught the light and shimmered when she moved her head. I could watch her all day.

How long had I been in love with Dallas now? It felt like only yesterday that we were young kids, running around a school like this one only much smaller. She wasn’t like the other girls, who joined their snickering little circles and complained in high voices about how dirty and gross the boys were. I couldn’t blame them for it. We were dirty and gross. Dallas didn’t care though. She could often be found running in the back playground, long hair flying everywhere as she tried to escape the dreaded curse of being “it”.

I knew she was special back then because even when the people she called friends pretended I didn’t exist, Dallas was always there with a kind smile and a welcoming hand.

We were older now, and I didn’t crave kindness in the same way I used to when I didn’t understand how the world worked. There was still a light about her though, something that made me sit up and pay attention every time she opened her mouth to speak. I’d loved her since I first understood what love was, but never had the nerve to ask her out. I always reasoned that the time wasn’t right, that I’d give it another week, another month, another year. We were seventeen now, on the cusp of adulthood and graduation. My time was running out.

A knock sounded on the door and Mrs. Fairfax halted her lecture. The door cracked open to reveal two perky girls that I recognized from the student council.

“Hey Mrs. Fairfax,” said one of them, a tall, slender thing with round glasses and a gummy smile. “Do you mind if we make a quick announcement about prom?”

The girls in the class immediately started tittering. This was news they did not want to miss.

Mrs. Fairfax smiled and welcomed the girls in, where they took up a spot at the front of the room and stared out at the waiting masses.

“Hey guys, we’re Becky and Gina from the prom committee,” said Gina, who I knew, from my biology class with her last semester, was an insufferable know-it-all.

Becky adjusted her glasses and stepped forward. “I know you’ve all been waiting anxiously for this year’s prom theme, and we’re delighted to announce that the wait is over.”

Gina took her spot next to Becky, clasping her hands in front of her. “This year’s prom theme is...” She smiled coyly. “Drum roll please.”

A few people in the class started drumming on their desks, Dallas included. Her hair was pushed back now, and I could see her mouth split into a wide grin. Seeing how excited she was for prom almost made me giddy too. I wasn’t a big fan of organized dances, especially ones with as much pageantry as a prom, but if Dallas was interested....

Becky flung her arms open above her head. “Midnight in Paris!”

The girls in the class started chattering amongst themselves, and I caught snippets of the conversations.

“So romantic!”

“...always wanted to go to Paris.”

“Do you think there will be cute French boys there?”

Someone jabbed a finger in my arm, and I looked over at my best friend, Jacob Rowland. He rolled his eyes back in his head and stuck a finger gun into his flaming red locks.

I chuckled. Now that I was looking elsewhere in the room, I noticed a few girls behind Jake were staring my way. I caught one of them looking, and she blushed and turned to the girl beside her, giggling.

I could’ve indulged in a little preening, but I didn’t give a flying fuck if some giggling halfwit entertained fantasies of me asking her to prom. I set my sights back on Dallas, curious what her reaction to all this was. She was talking to the girl beside her now, a nasty piece of work named Sasha Barnett. I had no idea why a little angel like Dallas would want to hang around someone who flaunted her crummy personality like a pair of diamond earrings. The two of them whispered to each other, and at the front of the room, Mrs. Fairfax tried to regain order.

“Guys, guys! Prom is still over a month away. You’ve got lots of time to gossip and chit chat about it. But you’ve only got so much time to absorb all this math before exams.” She placed her hands on her hips and stared menacingly at the class while the prom committee girls slunk out the door to disrupt the next classroom.

The class quieted, and soon we were back to integers and square roots. And I was back to Dallas.

The prom announcement was just another reminder that my days with Dallas were numbered. I didn’t know what she had planned after high school, but I could only assume a bright girl like her would be off to college, or at least some place known for more than an overabundance of trees and rain. She was better than all this. Me, on the other hand? I wasn’t so sure. I needed to find an opportunity to ask her out, and I needed to find it soon.

Then I realized the answer to my conundrum was staring me right in the face.

I would ask Dallas to prom.

Sure, we hadn’t talked much since we got up to high school, but she was friendly to me, and I honestly believed the only reason we hadn’t spent more time together was simply that we ran in different circles. She was popular and I was... Well, I wasn’t really anything. I had football, and I had Jacob, and that was all I needed. That and the chance to call Dallas mine.

That was it, then. It was decided. I was going to ask Dallas Keane out to prom. If she said no, so what? At least I could start distancing myself from this obsession with the cherub-like girl I’d always figured I didn’t have a chance with anyway. We’d go our separate ways, and I would have no regrets.

The class drew to a close, and everyone packed up their things and started ambling toward the door. Dallas and Sasha were taking their time, chatting excitedly. Jake slung his bag over his shoulder and followed the direction of my stare.

“Come on, man. We’ve got shop. You can’t sit around here and pine after Little Miss Perfect all day.”

I glared over at him. “Don’t talk about her like that.”

The lanky ginger put his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “Okay, whatever. Are you coming or what?”

“I’m going to hang around,” I said. “I need to talk to her.”

Jake’s eyebrows furrowed in consternation. “About what? You never talk to her.” A light bulb flicked on in his head, and his mouth fell open. “You’re not seriously going—“

I shoved him toward the door. “Dude, get out of here.”

“Fine, fine.” Jake waved me off. “Good luck.”

The next group of students began to filter in just as Dallas was gathering her binder into her arms and heading toward the door. I fell into step beside her.

“Hey Dallas,” I said.

I wished I had a better opener than that, but I always got a little flustered where she was concerned.

“Shane, hey,” she said with a smile.

Sasha glared daggers at me. What the fuck was that girl’s problem? I tried to pretend she wasn’t there, even though I half expected her to grab Dallas’s arm and run off at any second.

We stepped out into the bustling hallway, and I turned to face Dallas. Now or never.

“Do you have a second to talk?” I asked.

“We’ve got to get to class,” Sasha complained.

Dallas didn’t miss a beat. “But I can hang out and chat for a moment.” She looked over at Sasha, and something passed between them. “Why don’t I just meet you in History?”

Sasha rolled her eyes but started to turn away. All I had to do now was ask Dallas one simple question. I wouldn’t ramble, I wouldn’t stutter, I would just get right to the point.

Before Sasha could leave or I could speak, a booming voice called out, “Hey pretty ladies!”

My skin crawled.

Wes Gromley sidled up between Dallas and Sasha, flinging an arm over each of their shoulders. The act was overtly territorial. Sasha leaned into him, a coy smile flitting over her lips. Dallas didn’t react, but her smile fell away.

“Hey Shane,” said Wes. “What are you doing here? Do you need help reading something?”

I swallowed, trying to ignore the red creeping over my vision. Wes and I played on the football team together, which should have made us friends. We weren’t. His popularity and overblown ego would have made him a perfect star quarterback. The only problem was he didn’t possess an adequate amount of talent to go with it. But I did. I might fall behind in the popularity contest, but on the field, Wes played second fiddle and hated it.

“That’s not nice, Wes,” Dallas piped up. I watched her try to shimmy out from under his arm, but he latched his fingers around her shoulder to keep her there.

“Aw, come on, it’s just locker room banter,” he said snidely. “Shane knows I’m just joshing around, don’t you Shane?”

I relaxed my jaw and forced a light smile. “Of course.”

Wes then pretended I wasn’t in the hall with them, looking down at each of the girls in turn as he spoke. “We’re going to catch a movie tonight. I can count you ladies in, right?’

Sasha nodded her head enthusiastically. Dallas offered up a weak smile.

Wes looked back at me. “Hey, we’d invite you man, but we know that you can’t afford it. No sweat. See you later.”

Wes turned then and started off down the hall, both of the girls still tucked securely against his sides. I couldn’t believe the nerve of him.

Jake must’ve stayed around to watch just out of sight because he was at my side a second later. He patted my shoulder.

“That sucks, bro.”

I rolled my eyes and straightened my back. “Whatever. Let’s just get to our next class.”

We took long strides in the direction of the shop. Jake easily kept pace beside me, beanpole that he was, even though we were zooming down the hall.

“Did he actually call you both poor and illiterate in the span of a minute or did I hear that wrong?” Jake asked as we entered the haven of the shop. The scent of burnt ozone surrounded me, and I dropped my bag onto our stainless steel workstation.

“Yeah, well. Wes is a dick.”

Jake whistled between his teeth. “That’s rough. In front of the girl you like and everything.”

“I don’t want to talk about it, Jake.”

I tried not to sound too harsh, but I didn’t need a reminder of the humiliation I’d just suffered at Wes’s hands. I couldn’t help that I grew up in a trailer park outside of town, just the same way I couldn’t help that my brain couldn’t process letters and sentences the same way as everyone else’s. I was overcoming these problems more and more each day, and just from looking at me it was impossible to tell that I was poor and a little dyslexic. Good thing there were assholes like Wes to point it out.

I threw myself into the project I was working on, a stupid lamp that was going to get me a good grade and then be immediately forgotten. I tried to focus my thoughts away from Dallas, away from Wes and his irritatingly smug face.

Away from the fact that if today proved anything, it was that I was right all along. I would never be good enough for her.