TWENTY-THREE
“Why are you driving so slow?” Izzy’s voice sliced through my thoughts. We had just left the store, picking up some fruit and desserts as well as the cheap firecrackers that didn’t do much but spark a little and make a ton of noise. Everything that could have gone wrong was happening all at once.
“I’m not. I’m going the speed limit,” I said.
“What person our age goes the speed limit,” Izzy teased.
I forced a laugh. I think she noticed my off behavior, but before she could ask me what was up, her phone buzzed, and she answered it. It was Drake, her boyfriend. I knew she wouldn’t be getting off the phone until we got back to Theo’s condo… hopefully.
I was purposely driving like I was chauffeuring Mrs. Daisy, hoping to come up with any kind excuse to get out of this evening. First off, getting Sterling seemed so wrong with all I knew. He’d slept with Mrs. Black! Theo’s wife! If Sterling saw pictures of her, he would surely speak on it. He’d ask questions. He’d lose the little trust he had in me for not saying anything beforehand.
When I pulled up to my home and he walked out, my face went stale. He was smiling, but that had quickly dissolved when he spotted my concern. “You sure you want to come?” I asked as I glanced back at Izzy who was too busy chatting on her phone to pay us any mind.
“Sure, why not?” He shrugged with a smile. “Figured you might need someone to distract your friend there.” His eyes bounced in Izzy’s direction.
“Yeah.” Sighing, I turned for the car and hopped in. Sterling slid across the backseat, and when his door shut, I put the car in reverse, my nerves on end.
“Hey, I’m gonna call you back.” Izzy hung up the phone once I was out of Primrose, peering over her shoulder at Sterling. “Hi, again, mister.” She flirted with him, as she always did when a hot guy was around, boyfriend or not.
“Hey.” I saw Sterling toss a light wave at her through the rearview mirror, and then he looked at me, catching my eye. I looked away, focusing on the road. He was probably thinking exactly what I dreaded. “Your best friend is here and you’re going to be around her dad—the man you love—all night long! What in the hell are you going to do?”
My heart pounded hard in my chest when I slowly pulled into the Remy Place parking lot. Izzy was eager to get out, rushing to the trunk to grab the few bags of groceries. I took a bag from her, and Sterling took that bag from me. “I got it. You don’t need any more weight on you right now.”
I thanked him with my eyes, but Izzy looked at us, probing with thin eyes. “What is that supposed to mean?” she laughed.
Surprisingly, Sterling covered up for it quickly. “Oh, you know, her dad and the Alzheimer’s and all. He’s been giving her and my mom hell lately.” He smoothed his curly brown hair back as we entered the building.
“Oh.” Izzy’s lips pressed, and when she walked ahead of us, Sterling gave me a look that said, “I don’t know how you’re going to get through this night.”
He may have thought that because Izzy wasn’t the type of person to hold her tongue. She talked a lot, but asked questions even more, especially when she was confused about something. She was a firm believer in the saying “There is no such thing as a dumb question.”
It was a good thing Sterling wanted to come. He could prevent any unwanted drama, quite possibly distract Izzy if something was said or done out of context between Theo and me. Izzy, after all, could be easily distracted.
We made it up to that familiar fourth floor, all with Izzy talking about how she’d hoped her dad grilled everything right and didn’t burn it. I started to tell her that he wasn’t going to mess it up because he’d gotten great at cooking, but I stopped myself. I had to be careful now. If Izzy didn’t know something about Theo, I had to pretend I didn’t either.
Opening the door, Izzy waltzed right in, going for the kitchen to place her grocery bag on the counter. Sterling followed in after me, murmuring, “Here we go,” as he shut the door behind him.
I walked to the kitchen with Izzy. Theo was nowhere in sight. “Dad?” Izzy called. She walked out of the kitchen, and we all heard him return her call from the deck.
“Come on, Chlo,” Izzy insisted. I went with her, stepping onto the deck. Theo was in the corner with his grill on, flipping burgers with an annoyed look on his face, and to his right, sitting on the brown chair was Trixie. She was fixing her makeup in her handheld mirror, but when she caught sight of us, she quickly stopped tampering with her reflection, releasing a gasp.
Theo noticed how she glared my way, pausing on grilling the food. She hopped to her feet, scampering towards us in six-inch heels. “Oh my gosh!” She hugged Izzy, and to my surprise, Izzy wasn’t pleased about it.
I laughed. She was the one that wanted to meet her. I guess I should have mentioned that Trixie was only like two years older than us. “Hi,” Izzy forced her greeting. “You must be… Trixie?”
“I am! And you must be Theo’s little Isabelle. He talks about you all the time.”
“Yep.” Izzy’s brows puckered, and she took a step back as she glanced from Trixie to her dad.
“And you,” Trixie said, stepping around Izzy. “Why, you must be Chloe. Her best friend, right?” She pulled me in and hugged me too tight for comfort. It took every ounce of strength within me to remain calm and hug her back like a decent, innocent person would. I couldn’t believe she was playing this game. Hadn’t Theo told her to behave? He needed to put his bitch on a leash.
“Wow, you’re really friendly,” Izzy noted as she looked Trixie over in her white romper and red wedges. Her earrings were dangly and blue, matching the headband that kept her blond curls behind her ears. Festive bitch. She’d dyed her hair, giving it a red tint. Wow. Did she want to be Mrs. Black or what? She must’ve caught a picture of her somewhere. I shook my head.
“Yeah, well,” Trixie sighed. “I like to make everyone feel like they can be themselves around me, you know?”
“Hmm.” Izzy walked around Trixie and grabbed my hand. “Well, it’s nice meeting you!” Izzy gave her dad a sharp look when Trixie pulled out her cellphone. “Chloe, come with me to change clothes?”
“Sure.”
We walked back inside where Sterling sat on the sofa watching a game of soccer. “Wow, you made yourself right at home, huh?” Izzy giggled.
“I guess I did, huh?” Sterling held his hands in the air with an innocent lift of his shoulders.
“It’s okay. My dad won’t mind.” So she thought. “Chloe,” she hissed, turning me in her direction, “Why in the hell didn’t you tell me she was like, twelve!?”
“I didn’t know! From far away she doesn’t look that young.”
“Ugh.” Izzy groaned. “I don’t like her. She comes across as phony to me. I read people, and I know she’s only with my dad because he makes good money. She’s a grubby little bitch.”
“Well, it’s who your dad likes, Izzy.” That hurt to say. I swallowed that bile down as quickly as it came back up. “If he thinks girls like her are what will make him happy, then you can’t be mad at him.”
She waved a hand. “Yeah, whatever. Now I see why he didn’t want to invite her to dinner. God… I’m gonna go change and wipe this disappointment off my face.” Izzy turned and walked down the hallway, entering one of the bedrooms.
I blew a breath, turning around. Sterling was still on the sofa, but his eyes were on me now, not the TV screen. “How’d it go out there?”
I gave him the evil-eye and sat in the recliner. “This is a fucking train wreck waiting to happen.” He sympathized with me, sitting forward as if he were all ears. “That bitch,” I whispered. “She actually had the nerve to hug me in front of Izzy.”
“Why do you call her a bitch? What did she do to you?”
“She is coming between me and Theo. She said she’d snitch if he tried to leave her for me. She found out about us the same night you did. She saw him climbing out of my window.”
“Really?” He was shocked to hear that.
“Yes.” I slouched back, wishing it were Trixie’s head on that soccer field on screen and me doing the kicking.
“Well, maybe it’s a good thing she’s here right now, Chloe. Just saying.”
I whipped my head to look at him, brows going thin. “What do you mean?”
“I mean… maybe it’s a good thing she’s here tonight. You’ll have no choice but to keep your distance from him.”
“Fuck that,” I muttered, glancing towards the balcony. “She doesn’t even deserve him.”
“And you do?”
I turned my gaze on Sterling again. I hated his smart mouth, his mellow face, but most of all, I hated that he was right. I hated that he knew so much and had gone through something similar to this himself. Speaking of…
“Hey, there’s something I should tell you—” I started to speak, tell him all about Mrs. Black being Theo’s wife and even about how Theo was once in The Union, but Theo came inside, shutting the balcony door behind him with a tray of burgers in hand. My mouth snapped shut when I looked back.
“Food is almost ready.” He glared at Sterling.
Sterling stood, extending his arm. Theo accepted the handshake, but his brown eyes never drifted. “I’m Sterling. A friend of Chloe’s.”
Theo cocked a brow. “Just a friend?”
Sterling was hesitant, looking from him to me. “Stop it, Theo,” I butted in. I stood up, and walked closer. “He knows everything about us. So just stop.”
Releasing his grip, Theo stepped back, giving Sterling a once over. “Everything as in what?”
“Well, I know you two are a thing and also that you shouldn’t be. I also know about the girl out there on the balcony, how she’s trying to cause hell.” Sterling ran his palms across the back of his jeans. “Just found that one out actually. You don’t have to worry about me, though. I get it. No judgment here. I understand.” Yeah, I bet he did.
“Mmm.” Theo grunted, turning away from Sterling and looking at me. “Come with me to the kitchen,” he said before walking away.
I waited a moment, giving Sterling a nod before going to the kitchen. “Need help?” I asked with bland enthusiasm.
“There’s seafood pasta in the fridge. Take that out please.” Theo’s voice was clearly irritated. I turned for the fridge, pulling the door open and taking out the clear bowl.
“Can’t believe she actually touched me,” I grumbled, slamming the bowl on the counter. “Theo, I don’t know if I’ll be able to do this all night. I think I’m going to leave after we eat. Izzy will understand.”
“Leave early with him?” He scowled in Sterling’s direction. Sterling was oblivious. “Why didn’t you tell me he was staying at your house?”
“What’s the big deal? He’s the caregiver’s son. She wanted to see him after not seeing him for three whole years.”
“I don’t care. I don’t like how he looks at you. And how the fuck does he know everything about us?” He puffed, slinging out a knife to cut some cucumber. “Did you tell him?”
“He heard us the night you snuck through my window. And… he also heard me asking for advice from Margie.”
“Margie?” He looked confused.
“The caregiver.”
He still looked lost.
I rolled my eyes. “His mom.”
“Oh.”
“Seriously, you have nothing to worry about with him. He’s a good guy. But… he’s also what I wanted to talk to you about.”
He stopped cutting, dropping the knife on the cutting board. “What do you mean?” His face paled.
“I’ll tell you when we meet at Dirty Black. I should go back out there. I shouldn’t be seen too close to you.” I began to turn, but Theo caught my arm, his head angled. “Do you… like him?”
His question was absurd. My face contorted, and I pulled my arm away, grimacing at him. “Are you serious?” I hissed, thinning my eyes. “I’m standing in your condo feeling like the worst woman and friend in the world because I love you, and you ask me if I like him?” I scoffed. “You’re ridiculous, Theo. Seriously.” I started to turn, but quickly caught myself, ready to add more fuel to the fire. “Oh, by the way, Izzy hates Trixie. Just a heads up. I’m pretty sure this night is about to get a whole lot worse.”
He looked at me briefly before snatching his gaze away, jaw ticking, nostrils flaring.
I folded my arms. “Just like me, she can see right through her. You shouldn’t have invited her.”
“And you shouldn’t have brought your friend over there.”
“I had no choice. Izzy wanted him to join us.”
“Yeah, well, neither did I.”
Theo’s nostrils flared again, his upper lip peeling back as he looked towards Sterling again. Sterling cheered over the game, and Theo’s mouth twitched. What was the big deal? Sterling was a nice guy. The last thing I was worried about was him. I worried about Theo. Us. That whole damn night was going to have my nerves running wild.
The balcony door drew shut, and Trixie’s heels clicked along the floor. I jerked back, fiddling with the plastic wrap covering the pasta. “Theo, baby, I think the hotdogs are done.” She stepped into the kitchen, coming up on his side as he diced cucumber.
“They’re not done. Told you to stay out there.”
“Why? It’s too hot out there.”
Theo’s jaw clenched. “Whatever, Trixie.” He collected all the cucumber, put it on top of the prepared salad, and then grabbed a pan for the hotdogs. He was out of the kitchen, but not before looking at me with guilt running deep in those brown irises.
I watched him disappear around the corner, and from behind, Trixie cleared her throat. I turned, looking straight into her blue eyes. She stood with her arms folded, looking me over as if I was the ugliest thing she’d ever seen. “If you know what’s best for you and Theo, I suggest you stay away from him tonight. Actually, stay away from him period.”
My mouth fixed on a heated response, and I stepped forward, but a hand touched my shoulder. Sterling appeared at my side. “Hey, got anything to drink in here?”
Trixie was surprised to see him. She liked what she saw. That was obvious. “Oh, sure!” She went for the fridge, stepping in front of me and pulling it open. “I bought some of Theo’s favorite beer and some wine coolers for myself… and the girls.” There was venom in her voice when she referred to us… well, me. “Help yourself!”
“Thanks.” Sterling took charge of the fridge, and Trixie sauntered past me, giving me one final lookover before leaving the kitchen and returning to the balcony. When she was gone, I uncurled the fists that I hadn’t realized I’d made, pinching the bridge of my nose. “Alright?” Sterling asked.
“Fine,” I muttered, leaving the kitchen. I went down the hallway and into the bathroom, shutting the door behind me and locking it. It was hard not to slam it, not to break everything in sight, but I kept my emotions stable.
Breathing evenly through flared nostrils, I stared into the mirror above the vanity, gripping the edge of the granite countertop. The tears had already started, and two slid down my cheeks. A knock sounded on the door seconds later.
“Chloe?” It was Izzy.
“Yeah.” I cleared my face, but she heard the thickness in my voice.
“What’s wrong?” She jiggled the doorknob, her voice sincere. “Come on. Open up.”
I contemplated opening the door. I didn’t want her to see me crying. Not only that, but I needed a lie to back the tears up.
So, like Sterling did, I knew I had to use the very thing that made me volunteer to spend my summer in Bristle Wave. Unlocking the door, I stepped back and sat on the edge of the tub. Izzy walked in, looking right at me with concerned eyes. “Chloe?”
“I’m okay. I swear.”
“You don’t look okay. See, I knew I wasn’t crazy. Something seems so off about you today. I didn’t want to say anything in case you were on your period or something, but now I see it’s not that time of the month for you.”
“Next week,” I sighed.
“So what is it then?” She sat beside me. When I didn’t speak right away, her face changed, and she justified herself. “Look, I know we don’t see each other as much as we used to, but you’re still my best friend, Chlo. You can talk to me about anything.”
“I know.” I cleared my face. “I know, Iz. I’m just so stressed out about my dad. I keep wondering why I tortured myself by coming back here.” Lies.
“That’s not torturing yourself. I was supposed to come but… college is a lot harder than I thought.” She sighed. “We were supposed to hang out too, but… shit happens. Plus, you have a good heart. You did good by coming back to Bristle. He needed family around. Your mom didn’t want to step up to the plate, so you did. No one can blame you for that. If anything, your mom should be to blame… leaving him alone like that. What kind of wife does that to her husband anyway?” Her face pinched.
I shrugged. “Selfish ones.”
“Yeah,” she scoffed. “Exactly. But you’re not selfish. So calm down and come with me. Dad said the food should be ready in a bit. You can help me set up the table.” I nodded, allowing her to pull me up to a stand. She playfully pinched my cheeks when I was upright, giggling as she then bumped my hip with hers. I couldn’t ignore her silliness. I laughed, dropping my head as we exited the bathroom. From the hallway, the soccer game sounded louder. I heard Sterling hooting, cursing, and cheering for God knows what team.
Izzy went to the kitchen to pull down some Chinaware, and I went for the cupboard, pulling down four glasses. I purposely forgot the fifth one. Fuck Trixie. After setting up the table, Theo was inside with the rest of the food. I placed the salad down, and Sterling assisted Theo with the meat, placing it in the center of the table.
Then we took our seats.
And dinner was served— a really fucking awkward dinner.
Izzy, of course, talked as if the world revolved around her. She went on and on about summer school and even the wreck and how it all went down as if we hadn’t heard that story a million times.
Sterling was nice enough to comment and chime in on her stories when Theo and I couldn’t stand to. And Trixie glared at me the entire time as she nibbled on a hotdog without a bun. She downed three glasses of wine like it was a ritual, but she was afraid to eat a piece of bread? She was ridiculous.
She purposely leaned in to Theo, whispering to him. He’d ignore her until Izzy would glance their way and force a smile at the weird couple. Despite the sick control Trixie had over our lives, I couldn’t help but think she felt out of place. She finished off her glass of wine and took three wine coolers out of the fridge, making those alcoholic beverages her friends for the night.
Dinner was a wrap within twenty miserable, desolate minutes. I was ready to go. “I think I’m gonna hit the pool.” Izzy looked out the window. “It’s so nice out right now. Hey, Chloe, you wanna join me? Sterling?”
Sterling and I looked at each other. “Nah, Izzy, I think I should just get home. See how Dad’s doing.”
“Oh! Right.” She nodded, and surprisingly, she didn’t pout about it. She understood, especially after my fib about being stressed over him. “Well, what about you, Sterling?”
“I… should probably get home too.”
“Aww.” She whined this time. “But we haven’t even lit the fireworks yet! I have a car too, you know? I can take you back if you want.”
Sterling glanced my way for a brief moment. I remembered him saying how he hated passing up the opportunity to swim. I had no reason to hold him back, so I shrugged. “Okay. Sure,” he agreed.
“Cool. I’ll go change. I think my dad has some trunks you can borrow.”
Once Izzy had given Sterling a pair of trunks and then changed into a gold and black two-piece bikini, they left the condo. I blew a breath as I collected the dirty plates from the table, bringing them to the kitchen where Theo stood. It was then that I noticed Trixie wasn’t around.
“Where’s your girl toy?” I asked.
He walked around me, going to the table for the half-empty trays of grilled meat. “Drunk as fuck in the bathroom. Probably shoving a finger down her throat to get rid of the little bit of carbs she ate today.”
“She acts worse than me.” I helped him clean off the rest of the oak table, picking up the cups, beer cans, and the one wine glass that belonged to the trick. “She isn’t staying the night, is she?”
Theo didn’t answer. He dropped everything on the counter as I tossed the cans in the recycling bin and then the cups in the sink. When my hands were free, he pulled me into his arms, clutched my face in his hands, and devoured my lips whole. He crushed them but not too much to the point it caused pain. Just enough for me to feel it—to know that he’d wanted this to happen all day long.
Like always, our tongues did a slow dance, mingling and swirling, my body pressing into his. A moan filled the kitchen, one I couldn’t hold in, and then I sighed as he groaned. I felt his cock hardening through the jean material, and when the kiss broke, his brown eyes were like hot coals, black and burning.
“No.” He finally answered my question. “But I wish you could stay tonight.”
“I can’t,” I moaned.
“I know. I guess tonight didn’t turn out as bad as you thought,” he murmured, planting a kiss on my cheek and another on my forehead.
“I guess not,” I whispered.
He held my face in his hands, looking me over. “Alright. What’s bothering you?”
I batted my lashes. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, other than Izzy and Trixie being here, there’s something bothering you. What did you need to talk to me about with that Sterling kid? I’ve been wondering all day. I can tell when something’s wrong with you.”
“Oh… yeah…” I sighed. “There’s something you should know about Mrs. Black… something I found out just yesterday night.”
In an instant, Theo’s body went stiff, his face going hard like stone. He didn’t like me mentioning Mrs. Black… not when it involved something he may not have known about. “What are you talking about?” His question came out hurried and discouraged.
My throat worked harder than usual to swallow. He stared at me, and at first, I was willing to tell him, but when I spotted the raw concern—the cold, dead look—I didn’t want to. I didn’t want to be the one to break the bad news to him. I didn’t want to be the one to ruin Mrs. Black’s reputation as a good wife. He deserved to hold onto the goodness of her. Who was I to taint it with black?
“Chloe?” Theo demanded.
Just as his voice bellowed, the front door shot open, and Izzy rushed back in with Sterling trailing behind her. “Forgot my towel!” she said, but she was too buzzed to wonder why we were standing so close. I pulled away, tucking my hair behind my ear, and Sterling walked closer, brows raised as if it were a close call.
“Thanks for the heads up,” I snipped at him.
“She was going too fast.” He looked away. “I thought you were going home?”
“I am.” I gave him a look, one that was plainly telling him to leave me alone. Theo had his eyes fixed on Sterling. His look was cold and cruel. Furious and heated. And then it hit me—the reason he’d gotten so livid. Sterling… he had no shirt on. He’d taken it off most likely when he was on his way to swim. He was oblivious… but only because he didn’t know.
“Holy shit,” I breathed, and Sterling heard me.
He looked confused. “What?”
He pointed his gaze on Theo next, but when he caught the fury in his eyes, he took a minor step back, one eyebrow furrowed. “What the hell is that?” Theo’s voice boomed even louder than before. Storming out of the kitchen, he wasted no time gripping Sterling by his throat and pinning him to the nearest wall.
“Theo!” I shouted. “Stop!” I darted around the counter, grabbing his arm, but he pulled away.
“What the fuck is that on your shoulder!? Huh? You still with them? Did they send you to kill me!? Fuck with my life!? MY LOVE!”
In the heat of the moment, Theo turned my way and glared down. “Chloe! Who the fuck is he, huh?”
“That’s what I wanted to tell you!” I wailed. “I was trying to explain!”
“Explain what?!” he barked.
Thick tears lined the rims of my eyes. God, I was so tired of holding it in. I hated all of these secrets—all the lying and holding back on how I truly felt, so I let go of everything. I put myself first, knowing deep down that I was truly selfish for doing such a thing. “You think Mrs. Black was innocent, but she wasn’t who you thought she was!” I exclaimed. “She was cheating on you with Sterling!”
Theo blinked rapidly, eyes still broad as he released Sterling. Sterling clung to his throat, looking at me with wide, confused, grey eyes. “What?” he wheezed. “No—no I didn’t even know she was your wi—”
“What did you just say?” Theo moved towards me, shutting Sterling up and acting as if he never even existed. His eyes were on me. The spotlight was on me, but I didn’t want to shine. His hands went to my upper arms, and he held me. His grip was tight and rough, but he made sure he wasn’t hurting me. “Chloe, don’t fuck around with me! Don’t make shit up about her! You didn’t even know her like I did!”
“I’m not.” My voice broke as I looked at his red-rimmed eyes. “That night, when Mrs. Black was murdered, it was because of The Union. Remember when you said there was more than one guy—well, there was. A whole gang. You never told me they didn’t allow love, but Sterling did. He used to be a part of their gang, and as his punishment, they robbed him of his love, killing the woman he was in love with. He loved Mrs. Black, Theo. And she loved him. She was with him on those nights she’d work late. She stopped at that run-down gas station because she was most likely on her way to see Sterling.”
The room—the entire condo—went absolutely still. If a pin dropped on the hard surface of the floor it would have caused all ears to rattle. Theo released me and staggered back, staring at me as if I had a demon on my shoulder. He shook his head back and forth, muttering the word “no” over and over again.
“No,” he growled. “No. You’re lying!”
“I wouldn’t lie to you! Sterling!” I rushed for Sterling. “Tell him! Tell him what her name was.”
“No, Chloe.” He scowled in my direction. “He’ll fucking kill me, damn it!”
“Just tell him! It’s the only way he’ll know this is true—that I’m not making this up.”
Sterling’s damp eyes turned on Theo. He dropped his hands from his throat and stood up straight. “Her name was Janet Black… but I swear I didn’t know you were her husband when I came here. I knew she had a husband and a daughter, but I didn’t know who you or Izzy were… not until now.” He focused on me. “Chloe must’ve just been too afraid to tell me.” He dropped his head. “Shit.”
Theo looked both of us over with an incredulous expression, and in a matter of seconds, he spun around and barged through his bedroom door. He returned with a photo album in his hands, the same one that I’d gone through the first day they moved to Primrose. He flipped the pages, going to his most recent picture of Mrs. Black. Pointing a thick, angry finger, he gruffly asked, “Her? She was the one you slept with? This woman?”
Sterling looked down, and I could see the admiration quickly fill his eyes. I also witnessed the pain he held, how he’d constantly wanted to blame himself for her death. If he’d never met or fallen for her, she wouldn’t have died.
“Yes,” Sterling whispered. “Yeah, that’s her. That’s—that’s Janet.”
Theo watched Sterling’s reaction, how guilt swarmed him and ate him up. He caught the anguish, the same pain he felt when he lost Mrs. Black. They had both lost a good woman, but both of them felt betrayed. By the way Sterling looked at Theo, I was sure he could see all the love Theo had for his dead wife. He saw that she was most likely happy to be with him, but that she’d also given half of her heart to him. She couldn’t choose, so she kept both.
Seeing the two of them watch each other and not know what in the hell to do was hard to witness. I couldn’t block my tears or prevent the sniffling that came along with it. I wasn’t sure if they wanted to strangle each other or feel deep pity for one another.
“Is all that true?” Izzy’s voice cut through the turmoil, and everyone turned to look at her. She stepped forward with a towel in hand, eyes glistening. “Is. That. True?” she asked Sterling.
He looked down. “Yes.”
Theo started to lunge forward with the urge to attack Sterling, but something stopped him from doing so. Perhaps it was because he knew it wasn’t his fault for loving Mrs. Black. Sterling fell for her because she accepted him entirely for who he was, just as she did Theo. In a way, Theo was only looking at a younger replica of himself. I could hear everyone’s heartbeats, their minds racing with drama, chaos, and pain.
“Mom… cheated?” Izzy whispered. “That—she would never do that.”
“Oh, sweetie, it’s not like Theo really cares.” Trixie appeared out of nowhere, wobbling as she met at Izzy’s side. She was wasted, some of her makeup smeared, the edges of her hair frizzy as if she’d constantly put cold water on her face.
Izzy jerked away. “Get off of me!”
Trixie narrowed her eyes. “You know what?! Fuck this!” she yelled. “Fuck everyone in this fucking place! I am so sick and tired of the side eyes and the shit talking behind my back. You think I don’t hear it, but I do, and you know what, screw all of you because none of you are perfect!” She stumbled forward, pointing one finger at me and one at Theo. And as she did, my heart jumped out of my chest and hit the floor because I knew what was coming. I knew she was truly, honestly done being around, holding in her juicy information. “Especially the two of you!” she seethed. “You sneaky little sons of bitches! You thought you were so good that no one would ever find out, but I did. And you both are fucking idiots!”
“Trixie!” Theo’s voice was loud as he marched for her, grabbing her arm and pulling her away, but she jerked and twisted out of his grasp. She was quick, rushing in Izzy’s direction.
“Hey, I bet you don’t know that your dad and your best friend are fucking, do you?” Her voice, though slurred, was comprehensible, and it felt like the heart that was on the floor—my heart—was now being stomped on by a stampede of wild bulls.
My body seemed to do nothing, but I wanted to rush forward, tackle Trixie to the ground, and tell Izzy it was all lies. But… but… I couldn’t. I was stuck, not in a trance or a daze. Just stuck.
“W-what?” Izzy’s forehead creased as she turned to face Trixie who was being hauled away by Theo. Theo’s anger lit his face. He was red from head to toe, stalking towards the door and tossing her out.
“Yeah! She’s fucking your dad! Some friend, huh!” she shouted before the door slammed in her face.
Theo didn’t move once he’d slammed it. He just stood there, staring at the back of the glossy brown door.
I was just as motionless. Powerless.
In that moment, as Izzy’s watery, depressed eyes met mine, I snapped out of my stupor and rushed for her. She backed away from me, holding her hands up and warding me off as if I had a contagious disease. “Izzy, I am so sorry,” I whispered, head shaking. “It was never supposed to happen. It was really late, and he needed someone to help him so—”
Izzy held her hand up but said nothing, which was disturbingly rare. I wanted her to speak. Shout! Do anything. Curse me out if it made her feel better. But for nearly one whole minute, she was mute. Theo finally turned around, but he avoided his daughter’s watery eyes, focusing on the floor. Sterling walked past him and out of the condo, leaving the three of us standing there with heavy minds and empty mouths.
“I can’t fucking believe you.” Izzy finally spoke, but the words were far from kind. They were sharp, deadly, and dripping with venom. “You fucking skank! You said you came here for your dad—to help him—but you were here fucking mine all along!?”
“Izzy, I swear it wasn’t like that!”
“No? Really? Then what was it?”
“I did come here for my dad—we were—” I didn’t know how to respond. My tongue was twisted, but my mind was filled with way too many responses. I had always wondered how this day would go if it ever happened. The “if” was what scared me, but when I thought of it, I had so much I could have said to back myself up, but it was much harder than I thought. Nothing felt right—nothing but telling her the shocking truth. The one thing I knew. It was all out of love. Love! That’s what it was, but I couldn’t spill that truth.
“Yeah,” she breathed. “Exactly. Wow.” She shook her head, huffing a laugh that didn’t dare light her soul. “And Dad, you… wow.” She was shocked, finding this information truly unbelievable. “I can’t even fucking believe you would do something like this. With Chloe!? You’re twice her age, Dad! You could be her fucking father! You’re fucking disgusting! Is that what turns you on? Girls that can consider you their dad? Girls my age that don’t know any fucking better?” She scoffed, snatching up her purse and storming for the door. Before she could get there, Theo caught her, spinning her around.
“You’re not driving angry, Izzy. Stay here so we can explain.”
She seemed to blow fire, yanking her arm away and backing up. I moved forward, eyes thick, full of tears and heavy with apologies. “Fuck you, Dad! Fuck you! Now I see why Mom cheated on you! You’re a selfish prick who only thinks about himself! Did you even care to think about how I would feel about this? I’m your only child, and she is—no, was my only friend. And you…” She turned my way, looking at me directly.
“Izzy,” I whimpered. “Please.” Please what, Chloe? Please what!? Say something, stupid! Anything!
“You…” Her head shook, her upper lip curling as she disappointedly shook her head at me. Her voice cracked, and I was sure the ache she felt was all too real. I knew it was similar to the ache I felt… the hurt. The pain. It was hard to bare. “You aren’t a good-hearted person,” she grumbled. “You are a no-good, inconsiderate bitch. You’ve always had the hots for my dad. I always knew it. I just didn’t think you’d take it this far. You knew staying around me would get you closer, didn’t you? You are a little fucking whore, just like your mom! I knew some of her would rub off on you somewhere.”
“Isabelle fucking Black!” Theo’s voice roared. He was angry. Pissed the fuck off. His knuckles had whitened, nostrils flaring with a locked jaw and knitted brows.
Her words were like leather belts, whipping every sensitive part of me. I called her name repeatedly, begging forgiveness, but I wouldn’t be forgiven. She wouldn’t because she didn’t understand… or maybe I didn’t understand. I hurt Izzy. I’d had my heart broken before, but I was certain I’d broken hers that night. She was angry, yes, but she spoke out of raw anger because she trusted me. She loved me and felt like she could talk to me about any and everything.
I would have never taken advantage of my friend, but I couldn’t say I had the right to fuck with Mr. Black. I had no right. And I clearly had no real respect because I went through with sleeping with him many, many times.
“Fuck you, Dad!” She fled.
I buckled when my best friend—ex best friend—stormed out of the condo. Theo was torn, unsure if he should go for me or for Izzy. He debated, peering my way and starting to come, but then he stepped back, looking towards the door.
He ran out the door, calling after his only child, and I fell, my knees hitting the hard floor, tears streaming. I’d cried before, plenty of times. But never like this. Never, ever like this. A gaping hole had formed in my chest. It would be hard to fill. I’d been picked apart, my heart cracking with each withered beat. It was a painful feeling. It hurt… it hurt so damn much. “I’m sorry,” I cried to nobody. “I swear I didn’t want it to happen like this…”
I died little by little.
I hurt.
I died some more.
Imagine blood seeping out of every pore, spilling right from the gash in your heart. Imagine not being able to prevent the bleeding. Can you imagine that pain? Not being able to control something that feels so close, yet something that is so deep inside you that you can’t reach it unless you rip yourself wide open, clawing with raw loathing?
You suffer as you scratch, knowing that soon you will die inside and out because there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You can’t stop the drumming of an emotional, beautiful heart, not unless you stab a dagger of hatred right through the center.
Just imagine that, but bleeding out ten times faster than the average person. Imagine bleeding for lost love, broken hearts, and damaged souls. Imagine feeling nothingness—an unbearable ache that will never be fulfilled.
Can you imagine?
Can you feel it… that very ache that I had no choice but to feel?
I sat on Theo’s floor for what felt like an eternity, folded over, my face buried in my hands. A door shut minutes later and heavy footsteps came my way. They stopped right beside me, and with a gentle grasp, I was pulled up.
I glanced up, and through blurred vision, I could tell it was Theo by his broad shoulders and straggled hair. “Couldn’t make it to the elevator in time.”
“You can’t let her drive angry.”
“She won’t.” He lifted up the key fob. “She forgot the keys.”
I sniffled, dropping my chin. “Theo, I—I feel so bad.” My throat dried and thickened, eyes welting again. “We never should have touched each other…”
His face saddened, tears collecting at the rims of his eyes. “I know, Chloe.” He pulled me in and inhaled. His warm breath ran down my shoulders when he exhaled. “I’m so fucking sorry, Knight.”
He held me, rocked with me for just a little while. “This can’t be fixed,” I whispered. “Can it?”
He didn’t say anything. I didn’t expect him to.
Pulling back and tilting my chin, he said, “Come with me to the docks. It should get you to relax… calm down for now. She’ll come back. She has to. Let her take some time to cool off, and let’s hope she doesn’t do anything crazy.”
“Should we go after her?”
He was perplexed. He wanted to, but he and I both knew Izzy would be hard to find, and if we did find her, we would get another ear full of hatred and shame. So he shook his head. “Nah. Let her come back to us.”
She’d come back to him. But me… hmm. No. But I nodded anyway, and he brought his mouth down to kiss me. I expected to feel that same heat, that quick fire that always made me combust deep inside, but instead, I felt nothing. It didn’t feel like how it felt once before.
It wasn’t dirty or bad or wrong. It didn’t even feel good. I didn’t feel anything. I was numb to his touch, like my body had anesthetized itself, preventing me from feeling anymore pain, or hurt… even the love.
He noticed… I think. If he did, he didn’t speak on it.
Theo grabbed his keys, and we were at his bike in no time. During the ride, I clung to him as if my life depended on it, but there was something about the position I was in. He was quiet, but I was quieter. I still cried, going over all the times he and I made love, how we secretly created a relationship that couldn’t be understood. The foundation of our relationship was Izzy. If it weren’t for being her friend, I never would have met or hung around Theo so much.
I was sure his mind was crowded, not only with how he was going to gain his daughter’s forgiveness, but also with Mrs. Black. She’d cheated on him… with Sterling. She lied about a lot of things. All these years he thought she was only loyal to him—and for a while she was—but for the last few years of her life, she wasn’t. She’d given half of her heart to a boy that had similarities to her first love.
That night, I was sure Theo’s peace with her death had changed. He didn’t know his wife like he thought he did. Hell, he hardly got to spend much time with her because she was always working, and by “working” I meant messing around with Sterling.
I held Theo that night, and as my tears dampened his T-shirt, I only had one thought in mind, a thought that cut me so deep and gutted me so much I felt like I was suffocating.
He was right about the guilt I would feel if Izzy ever found out about us—how it would eat me alive if I even dared to continue what I had with him. My heart still beat, but it was aching. My soul had been shattered and crushed. I had no desire to smile, no desire to be happy or to feel complete.
I’d lost my only friend—my sister.
I’d lost her.
Forever.
There was always the question of what it would be like if she ever found out, but now that she had, everything I knew about myself seemed so meaningless. If she were to forgive me, it would never be the same between us. A permanent awkwardness would surround us whenever we were together, pushing us further apart and making it that much harder to be happy.
My body racked, the sobs blending in with the wind that passed me by. I sobbed because I would never see Izzy again. I cried because, after that night, I would be someone else—someone without a partner in crime or with calls and texts to look forward to.
But I wept most because, after that night, I was never going to hold Theo like this again.