CHESSY entered the Lux Café wearing a broad smile and with a skip in her step. Kylie was there, and as usual, excluding the last time they’d met for lunch, Joss was running late. Kylie lifted one eyebrow when Chessy all but danced up to their booth. But there was relief in her eyes when she stood to hug Chessy.
“Thank God,” Kylie said fervently. “Joss and I have been so worried, Chessy. We didn’t hear from you all weekend! Jensen swore that was a good thing but I wasn’t so sure until now. You’re positively glowing!”
They were interrupted as Joss hurried up to the table. Like Kylie, there was concern in Joss’s eyes but as she studied a beaming Chessy, her eyes brightened and a smile lit up her face.
“You look so happy, Chessy!” Joss said in a hushed whisper.
“Let’s sit,” Chessy urged. “I don’t want the entire restaurant to hear the sordid details of my anniversary weekend!”
“Ooohh, sordid!” Kylie crowed as she pushed into the booth and then motioned for Chessy to slide into the middle from the other side so she’d be flanked by Joss and Kylie.
Chessy complied and then Joss scooted in next to her.
“We’re dying to hear the down and dirty,” Joss said. “When we didn’t hear from you I knew it had to be a good sign because if things went badly you would have called us.”
Chessy smiled and nodded. Then she let out a wistful sigh. “Oh you guys, it was wonderful. Just like old times. I had my Tate back.”
“So did you spill your heart?” Kylie asked. “Tell me you didn’t back down and not bring up your issues.”
Chessy shook her head. “No, I didn’t back down,” she said softly. “It actually began a total disaster.”
Joss’s mouth dropped open and Kylie’s eyes narrowed.
“How was it a disaster?” Joss exclaimed.
Chessy winced. “He didn’t show for our dinner. I was on my way out and I saw him in the bar with another woman.”
“Oh. My. God,” Kylie said, fury evident in her voice. “What the hell? On your anniversary?”
“It wasn’t pretty,” Chessy admitted. “I jumped to some major conclusions and walked out. He came after me and we had it out.”
“I bet,” Joss murmured.
“But it’s okay now,” Chessy said. “I know I gave y’all an abbreviated version but I’d rather not rehash it. The woman was a potential client. He met her in the bar so he could come straight to dinner and time got away from him. When I confronted him with how unhappy I am, he was horrified. He’s apologized a million times. And he promised to put me front and center from now on.”
“Do you believe him?” Kylie asked softly.
Chessy nodded. “He was so sincere. And so upset and afraid. Afraid I was going to leave him. Honestly, guys, it scared him to death. That more than anything told me that he still loves me and wants me. And well, he spent the rest of the weekend proving just that.”
Color rose in her cheeks, her skin flushed and warm.
Joss and Kylie exchanged knowing smirks.
“Did he break out the flogger?” Joss teased.
Kylie looked appalled, which made Chessy laugh. Kylie couldn’t comprehend the lifestyle that both Chessy and Joss lived, but she accepted it with good nature, even if she couldn’t envision herself in such a relationship. She shook her head and shot an accusing look in Joss’s direction.
“You did that on purpose to get a reaction out of me,” Kylie said in a sour voice.
Chessy laughed and Joss looked delighted.
“You’re shining today,” Joss commented. “It’s like looking at the old Chessy. I’m so glad to have you back, hon. I’ve hated seeing you so unhappy. I’m so glad you and Tate have made amends, or rather he’s making amends. Good for you for confronting him and laying it out to him. I’m not sure I’d have the courage to do something like that.”
Kylie snorted. “So says the woman who told Dash off when he pulled his stupidity.”
Chessy laughed again and then all three women burst into laughter. God it felt good to feel so light again. The weight of the past two years had become oppressive. Just finally being able to confront Tate with her unhappiness had been so freeing.
“Okay, so he didn’t break out the flogger,” Joss said, a twinkle in her eyes. “So what did he do? I want all the gory details.”
Kylie rolled her eyes and then made a show of plugging both ears. “I’m too innocent to hear this.”
Chessy snorted. “Oh please. Like you and Jensen don’t perform your own X-rated sex shows? Ever hear of the saying ‘doth protest too much’? Well that’s you. It’s always the quiet ones you have to watch.”
Kylie blushed and Joss hooted with laughter. “You nailed her, Chessy. Look at that face. That’s the look of a cat who’s definitely gotten the cream.”
Chessy choked on her drink and nearly spurted water from her nose. “Oh my God, you said cream. I’m dying over here.”
Kylie groaned. “Dear Lord. You both have to stop. Is everything a sexual innuendo with you two?”
“Yes!” both Chessy and Joss said in unison.
They immediately hushed when the waiter arrived to take their order. As soon as he left, they burst into laughter again. Tears streamed down Joss’s face and she hastily wiped her eyes with the table napkin.
“You two are incorrigible,” Kylie grumbled. “Let’s leave my sex life out of this.”
“This is a novelty,” Chessy teased. “You having a sex life, I mean. A few months ago you would have been appalled by the notion. It’s high time you got in on the action.”
Kylie lowered her head and beat her forehead against the table. “What did I do to deserve this?”
“Hmmm, I’d say Jensen is very rewarding,” Joss said, a dreamy look on her face.
Kylie’s smile was rueful. “I can’t argue with you there. But can we please move on to a different topic? Chessy still hasn’t filled us in with all the juicy details.”
Chessy grinned. “Let’s just say that Tate and I are well on our way back to the way things used to be. At first he held back his dominance. I think he was too focused on making sure I wasn’t going anywhere. After the horridness of our anniversary night, he kicked it into high gear. He made love to me like whoa. No dominance. Just tenderness that was so sweet it made my heart ache. But at the same time I wanted his dominance. I didn’t want our relationship to change. I just wanted us back, you know?”
“Yeah, I know,” Joss said softly.
“I get it,” Kylie admitted. “Jensen is dominant in all aspects except our sex life. There … he gives up complete control to me. But one day … One day I’d like to be able to give him control there too. We’re both going to therapy. I’m hoping it will help me trust him more. That sounds so awful. I do trust him. In my heart I know he’d never hurt me. But it’s hard. And more than me knowing he’d never hurt me, he has to believe that too.”
Chessy reached for Kylie’s hand and squeezed. “I understand completely, sweetie. And you’ll get there. Rome wasn’t built in a day, you know. Jensen is so perfect for you. So patient and understanding. The fact that he’s willing to give up control in the bedroom is amazing. It proves just how much he loves you to deny that part of himself.”
Kylie’s eyes became watery. “But I don’t want him to have to deny any part of himself. And that’s what bothers me. I want him to have control but I’m not there yet.”
“You’ll get there,” Joss repeated. “Give it time. You’ve only been together a short time.”
“So Tate didn’t … dominate you?” Kylie asked. The words came out strangled, as if she didn’t know what label to put on Chessy’s relationship with Tate.
Chessy’s smile was gentle. She let go of Kylie’s hand as the waiter delivered their entrees. Only when he was gone did she address Kylie’s question.
“At first no. I think he didn’t think it was appropriate. In fact, he very much humbled himself. For a moment it was as if he was the submissive and I was the Dominant, which is laughable since I’m the furthest from a Dominant you can get. I think he felt awkward about just falling into our old routine. It was an apology, I think. He was so reverent and careful. It was wonderful, don’t get me wrong, but I wanted—needed—his dominance. And so after our dinner do-over, that’s when he retook control.”
“I’m glad for you,” Joss said sincerely. “I’ve hated seeing you so unhappy, Chessy. I’m sure now that you’ve let Tate know how you feel that you’ll see a change in the way he treats you.”
Chessy winced. “That sounds so bad when you say it like that. Like he was abusing me or something.”
“Neglect is akin to abuse,” Kylie said softly. “You should know that better than anyone.”
Chessy’s heart clenched at the subtle reminder of her childhood. Not abused, but unwanted. She wasn’t sure which was worse. Both were unforgiveable for a parent to subject a child to. She’d spent her entire childhood ignored, dismissed, unloved and a nuisance to parents who’d never wanted a child.
Tate was well aware of the circumstances of her childhood. He’d been the first person she’d ever confided in. As soon as she’d turned eighteen, she’d left her home and worked her way through college. Her parents hadn’t even bothered to show up for her high school graduation much less her graduation from college.
Her phone chimed, signaling a text message. Grateful for the interruption so the conversation didn’t dissolve into a dissection of her childhood, she dug into her purse and clicked on the text. It was from Tate.
Have an important client meeting at 4:30. I’ll be home no later than 6. I promise. I’ll bring supper. Love my girl.
Chessy’s heart sank, dread tightening her chest. When she looked up, her friends had worry in their eyes. Chessy forced a bright smile. After all, how long had it been since he just texted her with his plans much less to say he loved her and that he’d bring home dinner. She’d revel in that aspect and set aside her paranoia. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin a perfectly good day when things had gone so well the past two days.
“Oh, that was just Tate telling me he was bringing supper home.”
She left out the rest because she didn’t want to see knowing looks in their eyes.