KYLIE and Joss, as well as Jensen and Dash, faced Chessy with concern as she prepared to leave to go back … home. She still considered it her home no matter that she hadn’t lived there in several weeks. Maybe she’d always consider it home.
Moreover, when they’d bought the house, she’d picked it out with a family in mind. It was a huge house for just the two of them. Four bedrooms, three bathrooms plus a guest room downstairs, space for an office, two living areas, a formal dining room plus an eat-in kitchen and an island bar.
In her mind she could so easily see having children and raising them in that house. Most couples didn’t buy their forever home right after marrying, but Tate had been financially secure enough to purchase the house and once she’d seen it—and envisioned their future in it—she’d instantly fallen in love.
Five years later she was pregnant with the child she’d always desperately wanted but her marriage was in ruins and the house she’d once dreamed of raising a family in was off-limits. Even if she did end up getting the house if she and Tate divorced, how could she ever raise her child in a home that screamed Tate from every corner?
“I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go over there alone,” Dash said firmly.
He and Jensen were standing between her and the doorway, a formidable barrier, their arms crossed over their chests and stubborn looks on their faces.
Kylie and Joss stood at Chessy’s side but it was clear they were in agreement with the men.
“You should make him come here. On neutral ground,” Joss said in a low voice. “Or over at mine and Dash’s house. We’ll give you all the privacy you need but you shouldn’t be at a disadvantage emotionally, and with you being pregnant you’re especially vulnerable. Just ask Dash! I cry over the most ridiculous things. I swear I’m a hormonal mess. I certainly can’t be trusted to make life-altering decisions with pregnancy brain.”
Dash’s entire face softened with love as he gazed at his wife. “You’re adorable pregnant. And you are not a hormonal mess. I love every part of you and wouldn’t change a thing. You pregnant is the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen. I can’t wait until you get bigger and I can feel the little one kick.”
Chessy’s hand went to her own flat stomach and tears welled in her eyes. Joss shot Dash a look of reprimand and Dash immediately looked contrite.
“I’m sorry, Chessy. That was digging the knife deeper.”
Chessy shook her head. “Do not ever hold back with Joss for fear of hurting me. That isn’t fair. She deserves to have someone who sees her for how special she is.”
Jensen sighed. “Will you at least let one of us go with you? Joss is right about one thing. You’re extremely vulnerable right now and that gives Tate the upper hand. And when he learns of your pregnancy, he’s going to push hard for a reconciliation.”
“I guess we’ll have to see, won’t we?” Chessy said lightly. “At any rate, expect me back tonight. He’s cooking dinner because he says there’s something he needs to tell me. Maybe he wants a divorce. But it’s obvious we need to clear the air. I need … closure. I need to know where this is headed because I can’t go on like this. I have to make plans for me and my child.”
“Honey, a man does not cook dinner for a woman he’s planning to dump,” Dash said dryly.
“I’m going,” Chessy said emphatically. “Now please let me by so I’m not late.”
“Only if you promise to call if you need us,” Jensen said. “One of us will be over immediately if you need help or support.”
She leaned up on tiptoe and kissed Jensen’s cheek and then Dash’s. She hugged both Kylie and Joss before disentangling herself and headed for the door.
“Thank you all,” she said sincerely. “I’m so lucky to have friends like you.”
She hurried down the sidewalk to her car before she could change her mind and completely chicken out of her dinner with Tate. She had a whole horde of butterflies in her stomach and her pregnancy wasn’t helping in that regard. She just hoped she could make it through dinner without losing the contents of her stomach. That certainly wasn’t the way she wanted to break the news to Tate of his impending fatherhood.
Would he be happy? It saddened her that she had no clue. It had been him who’d wanted to wait when she wanted children earlier in their marriage. But he’d thought they should be more financially secure first.
But when was it enough? It seemed that no matter how much money he brought in, no matter how many clients he netted, it was never enough. He’d always put her off and said maybe next year. Or when he reached his goal of X number of portfolios that he managed. She knew for a fact that he’d surpassed his supposed goal on three separate occasions. And yet he still hadn’t agreed to have children.
It was very possible that he wouldn’t greet this news well at all. She may end up a single mother with an absentee father for her child.
Guilt surged through her chest for making assumptions and jumping to conclusions. Tate wasn’t a horrible person. He’d be a good father. She knew that much. It didn’t matter if this child was planned or not. He’d love him or her every bit as much as Chessy already did.
When she arrived at their house, she parked and got out only to be met at the door by Tate. He looked as though it took everything he had not to pull her into his arms or touch her in some way. But instead he merely stepped back and swept his arm inward in silent invitation.
Her nerves a mess, she walked inside, feeling as though she was in foreign territory rather than the house she’d made a home over the last five years.
“Come into the kitchen while I cook dinner. I’ve already gotten a start on the crepes.”
Anticipation made her mouth water. “Crawfish and crab crepes?”
He certainly knew her weakness and his smile proved it.
“I may have made your favorite,” he said slyly.
She sighed. “You don’t play fair, Tate.”
He shrugged in response. “I warned you, Chessy. I’m not going down without a fight. I believe in us. I love you. There’s no way I’m just going to let you go without throwing everything I have your way.”
Well, that answered the question of whether he was going to ask for a divorce. Was his big thing he wanted to tell her simply an opportunity to beg for forgiveness again? And how much longer could she stand up under the onslaught when she loved him with every aching breath?
She loved him, yes. Without question. But trust him? No, she couldn’t say she fully trusted him any longer. Not when he’d repeatedly chosen his clients and career over her.
“Is that what you wanted to tell me tonight?” she asked.
“It’s one of the things,” he said calmly. “But not the thing. We’ll discuss that over dinner. While the crepes are in the oven, I’d like to hear about you. You sounded upset on the phone and you said you hadn’t been feeling well.”
She shook her head. “We’ll discuss it after dinner. After you’ve told me what it is you have to say to me.”
He looked frustrated with her stubbornness but he didn’t press. Instead he opened a bottle of wine and poured one glass and started to pour another until she held up her hand.
“No, don’t,” she said quickly. “I don’t want wine. I’m afraid it will upset my stomach.”
“So you have been ill,” he said grimly.
“I’m separated from my husband,” she said in a terse tone. “Do you expect me to be radiant? I’ve been miserable, Tate. This is never what I wanted. You chose this for us, not me.”
Anger sparked in her blood and she could positively feel her blood pressure rising. She took several calming breaths, knowing it did the baby no good for Chessy to become so upset.
Tate’s eyes darkened with sorrow. His hand shook as he reached for his glass of wine.
“I didn’t choose our separation,” he said quietly. “Never that. I fucked up. I get that. It was stupid. I just reacted without thinking. It’s a mistake I’ll pay for dearly for the rest of my life. I hope you can find it in your generous, loving heart to forgive me. To give me yet another chance to make things right. I don’t want to live my life without you, Chessy. I can’t bear the thought of it. There will never be another woman for me. You’re it. And I want it all, but I want it with you.”
Her heart squeezed at the sincerity and graveness in his tone. She had no doubt he meant it in this precise moment. That wasn’t in question. He’d also been absolutely sincere after the night of their anniversary, and look where that had gotten them. It wasn’t a matter of him speaking an untruth now. It was the question of how long that vehemence would last. A week? A month? She had no faith that he’d continue to put her first in his life and she refused to live with that uncertainty any longer. She had a child to think about now and her child deserved a full-time father, not someone who was gone all the time and never there for the important moments in life.
“I don’t know what to say—to think,” Chessy said, her mouth turned down in an expression of unhappiness.
“Just say you’ll think about it,” he urged. “I don’t have to have an answer today or even tomorrow. Just promise me you’ll think about it and not give up on me quite yet.”
She closed her eyes but nodded, knowing there really wasn’t an alternative. She couldn’t very well say with any authority what would happen once he told her whatever he had to tell her, and she then told him she was pregnant. She knew he’d fight even harder for them to get back together once he learned she was pregnant, but not telling him wasn’t an option. He deserved to know he was going to become a father no matter her reservations about him as a husband.
There was visible relief on his features. His eyes brightened and lost some of their dread.
“I swear you won’t regret it, Chess,” he said gruffly.
He turned away and cracked open the stove, peering in at the bubbling cheese that was just turning a yummy brown. She sniffed appreciatively, her stomach growling in anticipation. She hadn’t even attempted to eat today because the mere thought of food was revolting to her.
He grabbed oven mitts and slid the casserole dish from the oven, setting it on the stovetop while he closed the oven door.
“We’ll give it five minutes or so to rest and then we’ll dig in,” Tate announced.
As he spoke, he went to the cabinet where the plates were and took two down. Then he retrieved knives and forks from the drawer and set the small table in the breakfast nook where they so often had eaten together. The formal dining room had only been used on the occasions when they entertained clients or their friends.
He carried the still-steaming casserole dish to the table and then fetched a spatula to spoon up the delectable entrée. Chessy took a cautious sniff, praying her stomach didn’t rebel.
To her relief, she felt no nausea when she forked in the first savory bite. The flavor hit her taste buds like a mouth orgasm. She moaned her pleasure. This was right up there with good sex.
“Good?” Tate asked with a smile.
He knew damn well it was fantastic.
“It’s wonderful,” she sighed. “Best thing I’ve eaten in weeks.”
He frowned at that. “Have you been eating, Chess? I know you. And when you’re unhappy or stressed you don’t eat or take proper care of yourself.”
“Well duh,” she muttered. “I can assure you that my marriage crumbling around me isn’t exactly lighting my world on fire.”
He sighed. “We’re both miserable, baby. Doesn’t that tell you anything? We both still love each other. I certainly love you. If we’re so unhappy apart, don’t you see that the logical thing to do is get back together so we can make one another happy again?”
“Because I’m afraid,” she said frankly. “You’ve broken too many promises to me, Tate.”
His nostrils flared and he went silent a moment before pushing his plate forward. He propped his elbows on the table and directed his stare at her.
“Maybe my news will prove to you that I’m trying to change—that I am changing. I’ve partnered with two other guys and expanded my firm to include them. Which means that I’m no longer a one-man show. It also means I won’t have to devote so much time to work or my clients. I have two partners now to share in juggling clients and their needs. I did this for us, Chessy. Because I let my career get in the way of our relationship. I let it overrun all else. That wasn’t fair to you and I’m prepared to go to whatever lengths necessary to make amends.”
Chessy stared at him in utter disbelief. Tate had been so adamant about not taking on another partner after his first one had bailed. He’d been determined to make his business a success without anyone else.
“It will be made public tomorrow,” Tate continued. “But I wanted you to hear it from me. And for you to understand why I did it. I did it for you. To hopefully help you see the commitment I’m making to you. To our marriage. You mean more to me than my business, my career, money, worldly possessions. Having it all means nothing if I don’t have what’s most important in my life. You.”
Of anything she may have expected him to say, this was not it. She was shocked at the matter-of-fact way he’d said he was taking on not one, but two partners. Tate was extremely possessive and proprietary when it came to his clients. He was a hands-on person who didn’t believe in allowing anyone else to handle matters he himself could personally see to. He didn’t trust other people not to fuck up.
This was huge. It was epic. She had no idea what to say to his announcement. Instead she simply stared openmouthed at him.
“I hope this will at least show you that I’m very serious about doing whatever it takes to win you back,” he said quietly. “And it’s only the beginning, Chess. There will be no afterhours calls. No client dinners unless you go with me. The weekends will be ours and I’m going to start taking vacation days more frequently so we can travel together.”
She shook her head in confusion. “I don’t get it. Why now? If you could have done this sooner, why didn’t you?”
His eyes darkened with regret. And they grew suspiciously wet, which made her even more aghast. She’d never seen Tate cry. Ever. He was always the strong one while she was the emotional wreck. She cried over sad movies, happy movies, those sappy Hallmark commercials at Christmas. She cried over news stories. Hell, she cried when she was happy. But Tate?
“I should have done it a long time ago,” he admitted. “I have no excuse other than I took you for granted. I took your love for granted. I wanted it all. The perfect wife, the perfect career. It was never enough. No matter how successful my firm became, I always wanted more until there was nothing left.
“Seeing what I did to you, what my neglect caused, was a huge wake-up call for me. I stood by and let another man abuse you. Do you have any idea what that did to me? I can’t even look at myself in the mirror anymore. All I can see is you huddled on the floor crying. All I can remember is you screaming your safe word. Every night when I go to bed, that entire night plays over and over in my head. It’s not something I’ll ever get over, Chessy. I have to live with that for the rest of my life.”
“I wish I could believe you,” she said wistfully.
He reached across the table and captured her hand. “Just give me a chance, Chessy. One more time. I’ll never ask for another. If I fail you again, I’ll leave. The house and everything in it will be yours. You’ll never want for a single thing. I’ll make sure of it.”
She closed her eyes and paused. “There’s something I have to tell you, Tate. Something I only just found out. It’s why I came over tonight. It changes everything and I don’t know what to do.”
Concern blazed over his face. His grip tightened around her hand. She took a deep breath and put it out there.
“I’m pregnant, Tate. I’m pregnant with your child.”