THE next few weeks were a test of endurance for Chessy. She was surrounded by Kylie and Joss as well as Jensen and Dash and their unfailing support, and God knew she needed it because Tate was persistent in his campaign to win her back.
Flowers arrived daily. Chessy had gotten on a first-name basis with the florist who delivered each bouquet. Equally prevalent were gifts. Earrings—she was admittedly an earring whore—a delicate necklace, and handwritten notes, each recalling a memory in their marriage.
She was at her breaking point emotionally. Tate had, for all practical purposes, declared emotional war. Everything he did pulled relentlessly at her heartstrings. Made her remember much happier times. If only he’d exerted half as much effort before as he was now they wouldn’t be living apart in separate beds.
What was she supposed to do?
Kylie and Joss had resolutely thrown their support behind Chessy, vowing to murder Tate in his sleep if he didn’t cease with the emotional warfare. It had gotten to the point where Chessy hated answering the doorbell to greet that day’s delivery. Perhaps what she needed to do was move into her own place and not give out the address.
It seemed like the cowardly thing to do, but she wasn’t prepared to face Tate. In the two weeks since she’d walked out on him, she hadn’t seen him. Oh, it wasn’t for lack of effort on his part. He’d gone first to Joss and Dash’s house, thinking she was staying there. Joss had immediately called to warn Chessy that he was likely on his way to Kylie’s and, sure enough, he’d knocked determinedly on the door only to be greeted—and turned away—by a scowling Jensen.
It hadn’t deterred him, though. He’d continued his relentless assault and Chessy imagined had she left the shelter of Kylie’s home to go anywhere, Tate would probably make an appearance and cause an embarrassing public scene. Not that he’d intend to make a scene. He’d never do anything to humiliate her. But he would likely beg her to give him another chance and then make her look like the biggest bitch who ever lived when she refused. Publicly.
So she’d remained inside Kylie’s home, not venturing out for fear of running into Tate. And that pissed her off. She was a total coward. A spineless, gutless idiot for allowing him to dictate her every movement.
It was high time she took back control of her life and stopped living in fear of the inevitable confrontation with Tate. It would have to be done sooner or later. She couldn’t avoid him forever. But she simply couldn’t decide her own fate. One day she’d be convinced that she needed to set an appointment with the divorce attorney Dash knew and the next she’d back down from that conviction and float in the direction of not being positive of such a huge step yet. Once in motion, there was no going back. Having Tate served with divorce papers would be so … final. And she simply wasn’t sure if she was ready for that.
And added to that, she was coming down with some sort of ugly stomach bug. She couldn’t look at or smell food without gagging. She was listless, run-down and she wasn’t sleeping at night. And Tate’s daily onslaught was wearing on her.
Her anxiety had gotten so bad that she’d actually made a doctor’s appointment so she could be prescribed medication to help calm her. She cringed at the very thought of having to be dependent on medication for her emotional stability but at the same time she was desperate for some sense of normalcy.
Since Kylie was working, Joss was coming over to take Chessy to the doctor. Chessy had protested, saying she didn’t need someone to hold her hand through a doctor’s appointment, but Joss had firmly told her that there was no way in hell she was letting Chessy go alone. In the end Chessy had caved under Joss’s insistence and was now waiting for her to arrive.
When Chessy heard the car pull up, she went outside to meet her. Joss had just gotten out and looked decidedly green. There was a pallor to her face that made Chessy feel instantly guilty.
“Joss, you look awful, hon. Why don’t you go back home and go to bed? I can drive myself to the doctor’s office for God’s sake.”
Joss waved a hand in front of her face. “It’s nothing. I promise. Mornings are just terrible for me but I can’t stay in bed for my entire pregnancy even if that’s precisely what Dash would prefer. I swear he’s like a mother hen. One would think no other woman in the world has ever been pregnant before! He acts like I have a terminal illness. Although I will say being waited on hand and foot is a very nice perk of this pregnancy.”
Her eyes twinkled merrily, some of the color returning to her cheeks. Chessy hugged her just because. Joss’s good spirits were infectious. She was so sweet and kind it was impossible not to be cheered just by her presence.
“Well thank you,” Chessy said. “I’m always glad to have your company. We better get going. I don’t want to be late.”
Joss snorted. “As if you being late will make a difference. It’s not like doctors are ever prompt in seeing patients. You could probably arrive thirty minutes late and still have to wait.”
“True enough, but you know I hate being late.”
Joss rolled her eyes. “Is that a dig at me and the fact that I’m perpetually late for everything?”
Chessy laughed as she slid into the passenger seat of Joss’s car. “Would I do something like that?”
“Yes!”
It was a fifteen-minute drive to the doctor’s office though it wasn’t that far away as the crow flies. But there were an insane amount of lengthy traffic lights and they caught every single one of them.
Half an hour later, Chessy sat in shock as her doctor delivered very unexpected news.
“You’re pregnant, Mrs. Morgan,” her physician calmly stated.
“What?” she squeaked.
Chessy felt faint and then her dizziness gave way to utter panic. Pregnant? But she was on birth control. She tried to think back. Had she taken her pills on her anniversary weekend when things had been in such upheaval? It had to have been then. She and Tate had made love that weekend. Before that it had been awhile.
“You look very distressed,” the doctor said in a concerned voice. “Is someone here with you? Should I summon them?”
“No,” she murmured. “I’ll be fine. It’s just a shock. I was—am—on birth control.” Then another thought hit her and she stared anxiously up at her doctor. “I’ve continued to take birth control. Will that hurt the baby?”
“Well you certainly need to discontinue them,” he advised. “But I doubt you’ve done any harm to the fetus. You’ll need to get an appointment with an obstetrician so they can do a sonogram to determine your due date. And they’ll want you to go in for routine prenatal care. I can give you a referral unless you already have someone in mind.”
Her head was spinning trying to process the bombardment of information. Pregnant. Separated from her husband. A husband she now had to tell she was pregnant.
A few minutes later, she stumbled back into the waiting room where Joss sat. Joss took one look at her and her brow furrowed in concern. She met her halfway across the room, putting an arm around her for support.
“Chessy, what’s wrong?” Joss demanded. “What did the doctor say? Did he give you a prescription for something to help your anxiety?”
Chessy closed her eyes. “What he gave me was more anxiety.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m pregnant, Joss.”
Joss stared at her in shock. Her mouth fell open. “Oh my God, Chessy. What are you going to do? I know how much you wanted children but Tate wanted to hold off.”
“I didn’t do this on purpose,” Chessy said fiercely. “I know we talked about it at some point before Tate and I separated. But I acknowledged that a baby wouldn’t fix our problems. I’d never purposely become pregnant with our relationship in the shape it was.”
“I never thought you did this on purpose,” Joss soothed. “But hon, the timing is horrible. Tate is going to want you back more now than ever.”
Tears gathered in Chessy’s eyes. “I don’t want him back because of the baby. I want him to want me. To put me first. I have no doubt he’d put his child first. Is it selfish of me to want that priority over my baby?”
“God no,” Joss denied. “You should expect to come first with your husband. There’s no question of that. How do you plan to tell him?”
Chessy sighed wearily as they exited the clinic and walked to Joss’s car in the parking lot. “I don’t know. I have to think about this. This changes everything, Joss.”
“On the bright side, we’ll be pregnant together!” Joss said, smiling over at Chessy as she put her car in reverse.
Chessy attempted a smile. “Our children will grow up BFFs just like us.”
“Now we just have to get Kylie knocked up and it will be a trifecta!”
“Don’t hold your breath,” Chessy said in amusement. “I don’t think Kylie has plans to be pregnant any time soon if ever. And Jensen seems content with her decision.”
“And she’d make such a good mother,” Joss said sadly. “I hate that her decision is based on her own terrible childhood. Her worry that she’d ever treat a child of hers like her father treated her is ridiculous. There isn’t a sweeter, more generous soul out there.”
“Oh I agree,” Chessy said. “But I think it’s good that she’s waiting. Having children doesn’t necessarily complete a couple. There’s nothing wrong with devoting themselves to each other because, let’s face it, the minute a baby enters the picture, priorities change completely.”
Oh my God. The moment the words came out of her mouth, she realized that she could have well just voiced how her parents felt. That they’d devoted their time to each other, a child an unwanted intrusion. All the neglect that had been heaped upon her during her childhood was never what she wanted for her own child. In fact, even if she and Tate did get back together, her first and only priority had to be her child. Not Tate.
“Very true,” Joss conceded. “And you’re right. Having babies isn’t a necessary component in living happily ever after. Besides, Kylie will now have two babies to spoil. She can be Auntie Kylie and the best part is, she can give them back and sleep through the night, unlike us who’ll be up at all hours.”
“You’re not selling me on this motherhood thing,” Chessy said dryly.
“Sorry. I won’t say another word. My lips are sealed.”
“I wish I could share this with Tate,” Chessy said in a wistful voice. “Not that I’m going to keep it from him. I’m not. But I just wish things were different. That he could have gone to the doctor with me. That we were still together and he met the news with joy. This isn’t ever how I envisioned getting the word that I was pregnant with my first baby.”
Joss reached across the console and curled her hand around Chessy’s. “I know it’s not the way you wanted it to happen, but a baby is a blessing and you’re going to be an awesome mom, Chessy. You can do this. We’ll take childbirth classes together. I’ll let you borrow all my pregnancy books and we can even use the same OB doctor and schedule our appointments on the same days.”
The enthusiasm in Joss’s voice was contagious. Chessy felt the first kernel of excitement since having the proverbial bomb dropped on her in the doctor’s office.
She was going to have a baby.
No, it wasn’t the best timing in the world, but as Joss had said, a baby was a blessing no matter the circumstances. It was a piece of Tate she’d forever have. But a baby would also tie them irrevocably no matter if their marriage truly ended in divorce. What if Tate remarried? Her child would then have a stepmother in his or her life. Someone Chessy would have to accept as a parental figure. The very thought sent a shaft of pain through her heart.
A man like Tate wouldn’t have to look far for another woman. He was heart-stoppingly gorgeous, in perfect shape and he had money.
Why was jealousy gripping her at the very idea that he’d find someone else? She was the one who’d walked away. Not him. He’d spent the last weeks begging her to come back to him. But she hadn’t been able to bring herself to even face him or speak directly to him.
But now it was inevitable. Because she had to talk to him face-to-face. She had to tell him she was pregnant with his child.