Epilogue
Tank
I couldn’t wait to see my son. It had been six months since the blast had taken him away from me, and though I’d seen him briefly that one night, it hadn’t been enough. Granted, I had pretty much been asleep for half of that, but it still had been too fucking long.
I won’t go into everything that happened to get to this point. Yes, just gonna save that for someone else to tell you about, because as much as I had been Hell-bent to get my revenge on Savage, it just isn’t my story to tell.
Right now, the important thing was that soon my son was going to be back in my arms.
As I paced my mom’s living room for the millionth time, I looked over at Dya. She stood almost tucked into the corner with a hint of an uneasy look on her face.
“Angel,” I said as I tried to reign in my anxiousness. The only thing that moved were her eyes. The moment they met mine I could see the emotions hidden behind them.
Without wasting another second, I went to her and wrapped her up in my arms. Her head fell against my shoulder and I knew I would never get enough of how this fucking woman would melt into me. She let me touch her, let me comfort her, even though she more than likely would never admit to how she was feeling. Never admit to the fact that she needed me right then. And I was okay with that. I found that I didn’t need her words because her eyes always said it all and her body always showed me on the account that it responded to even my lightest touch.
“Hey,” Axe said as he stepped inside the front door.
Reluctantly, I broke away from Dya and moved to greet him in a man hug. If I were a jealous man I would have been bothered by the look that Axe and Dya shared. The two of them had some weird thing going on that I wouldn’t even begin to try and explain. Don’t take that the wrong way, it was nothing sexual at all. I think it was more that they couldn’t figure the other out. I wouldn’t doubt that they were like kindred souls or some shit.
Taking a moment to let Axe get settled, I tried to think of something to say. I had all these words in my head but I knew no matter what I said Dya would still feel the same. I had no doubts that she was questioning everything. I could see it in her eyes that she didn’t think she belonged there and I could argue with that until I was blue in the face, but she wouldn’t see it any other way. Not until the time came that she could be proven wrong.
To be honest, I was a bit on edge myself. I knew she’d spent time with Logan after she’d left me. I also knew she was shaky about that fact like she thought I wouldn’t be okay with it. The moment she told me, in her cryptic words that only I would understand, I fucking felt a warmth inside like no other.
“I’m gonna go check on Mom,” I said then sweetly kissed the side of Dya’s head as I breathed in her amazing scent.
Was leaving her at a time like this a dick move? Yeah, maybe. But I was smart enough to know how she worked. Leaving her alone with Axe would give her the distraction she needed right then. Without me around, she wouldn’t constantly be thinking about what we were all waiting on. I wouldn’t have even put it past Axe to try and engage her in some sort of toneless conversation.
“Hey, Mom. You doing okay?” I asked as I walked into the kitchen. I found her bent over checking the cookies in the oven. This was her distraction.
The moment I made it home and got myself cleaned up, I went and told my mom and sisters about Logan and Darcy. There were many tears, some of which were mine.
“Yep. These should be done in a minute.” She straightened, closing the oven door. “I like her,” she said obviously talking about Dya.
“I know,” I said smiling at her. “You happy now that I got a good woman to look after me?” I chuckled.
“Yes,” she said pulling the oven mitts off her hands and tossing them down on the counter with a little more force than necessary. “Look, I’m your mother and I get to worry about you. I get to want the best for you. You, however, don’t get to mock that. I love you and I only ever want to see you happy.”
Her words were like a slap upside the head. I’d meant no disrespect and deep down she knew that. This was just a very emotional moment for us all and the waiting wasn’t helping any.
“I wish your dad could be here to see this. To see the man you grew up to be. I’m so proud of you and I want you to know that. You have had a few big bumps in the road, but you always made it through. You always found that one thing that made you hold on and keep your head up.” She wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me tightly.
“Yeah,” I grunted because thinking of my dad wasn’t what I wanted to do right then.
“What is it?” she asked, taking a step back to look at me.
Here I was torn because I’d never wanted my mom to know about what I’d seen. I didn’t want to be the one to break the illusion of the man she’d devoted her life and heart to. Especially, since that man was no longer around to defend himself. Not that cheating was something you could ever defend, in my mind anyway.
“There is something you’ve been holding onto all these years. I’ve never asked because I had hoped that one day you would come to me. But I loved your father and he was a good dad to all of you. So, I don’t understand why you have this distaste when it comes to him,” she said, putting a hand on her hip and pinning me with her classic mom stare.
“I…uh…I caught dad with one of the club girls one time. It sort of left a bad taste in my mouth. I hate him for doing that to you. I never said anything to him…because I didn’t know how to, and then he was gone. And I never told you because I didn’t want to taint his memory.” I ducked my head, ashamed of the fact that I had told her but at the same time, it felt good to let it out. There were no more secrets and I felt like I’d just released a huge breath I’d been holding in all these years.
She blinked at me. Once. Twice. Three times, before she nodded her head. She looked like she was trying to gather her words before she opened her mouth. But the thing I found odd was the look on her face. It wasn’t angry or mad or even hurt. It was just, sort of, normal.
“I knew,” she said like it wasn’t as huge of a secret as I had clearly thought it was.
“But you were married. He was cheating on you. I just don’t get it, Mom. Is that what all men do eventually? Am I doomed to want to stray from that amazing woman out there?” I thought about Dya and how I fucking felt about her. I could never see myself stepping out on her, especially when I knew that I’d never get anything better than her.
“You have to understand that not all relationships are the same. Without going into too much detail, which I’m sure you don’t want to hear, I can tell you this, your father loved me. I held his heart and no one could ever take that away from me. I had four kids, Noah. Four! I was tired most of the time. And when we had a moment to ourselves, he would have rather held me in his arms and talked. That was what I needed most.” She paused, looking me right in the eye as she spoke. “He loved me and I loved him. I knew what was going on because it wasn’t a secret. In fact, it was my idea and it didn’t bother me at all. Not saying that that sort of thing would work for everyone, but it worked for us. He always gave me what I needed the most.”
I nodded, feeling a weird churning in my gut. I may not have agreed with it, but I could see it from her point of view. And just like that, the huge weight and anger I’d been carrying around all these years towards my dad just fell away. I no longer hated him for that one thing and that meant that I had no bad memories of him.
“They’re here,” Axe called out, thankfully ending the conversation. Mom quickly snatched the cookies out of the oven so they wouldn’t burn, then followed me out to the living room.
“Dad!” Logan screamed as I opened the door and he came running across the yard with Darcy trailing behind him at a much slower pace.
Hearing that one word did me in and the tears streamed down my cheeks. I knelt down, just in time for him to jump into my opened arms and I held onto him as tight as I could. I never wanted to let him go again.
“I missed you, buddy,” I said, smoothing down his big curls.
“I know,” he said with much excitement in his voice. “Dya!” he yelled as he looked over my shoulder. My heart shattered then put itself back together again. “I told you I’d see you again!” The smile on his face matched my own.
I turned my head to look at her. She stood there, her stoic stance contradicted the tears in her eyes. Her eyes were locked on Logan and I hadn’t realized until that moment how hard my little boy had gotten to her. She couldn’t deny how much she cared about him as her body sagged just the tiniest bit as she let out a sharp, relieved breath.
Right then I knew the fucking world was right and nothing could ever change that. With that one look that passed between them, the last few pieces of my life clicked into place.
Axe’s hand made its way into my vision as he put it on Dya’s shoulder and gently gave her a push forward. I let out a harsh laugh and tried to swallow back some of my emotions.
I stood, Logan in my arms. Damn, the kid felt heavier than I remembered. Maybe I’d just become weaker. Either way, it reminded me that I’d had too much time taken away from him and I vowed to never let that happen again.
Since she wasn’t moving fast enough, I took three huge steps to her. She crashed into us, giving me my happy mushy moment that I wouldn’t forget as long as I fucking lived. Logan’s free arm wrapped around her neck, pulling her in tighter.
“Did grandma make cookies?” Logan blurted out, obviously smelling the baked sugary smell in the air.
We all barked out a laugh as I set him down on his feet. He went running up to my mom, who was flanked by Cresta and Veda. Mom took his hand as he dragged her through the house towards the kitchen.
My hand slipped into Dya’s as I looked down at her.
“Stay?” My question came out like an airy plea and I was desperate for her to say yes.
“Come,” she said squeezing my hand and smiling up at me as she pulled me along to follow the others. Darcy brought up the rear, not even fazed that Logan had gotten all the attention.
Though Dya didn’t answer, I knew she wasn’t going anywhere. Fuck yes!
Nadya
“Mom?” Logan yelled as he bounded down the stairs and into the living room, his long curls bouncing wildly around his face.
“Yeah, bud?” I called out, trying to catch his attention before he went tearing through the house in search of me.
“I can’t find my blue button-up shirt,” he said, with a mix of frustration and panic in his ten-year-old voice.
“Did you look in your closet?” I called after him as he took off for the laundry room.
“Yeah.”
“Logan,” I said with a bit of a warning in my voice.
“Yes, ma’am,” he corrected himself.
I headed up the stairs, knowing exactly where the shirt was, having a huge feeling that if he had looked in his closet that he hadn’t looked hard enough. And sure enough, there it was between the green one and the white one where I’d put it. I couldn’t help but chuckle to myself.
I held up the hanger just as he rounded the corner into his room at a speed as fast as a cheetah.
“Shit,” he said then quickly clamped his mouth shut.
I shot him a warning glance even though I knew it wouldn’t do any good. Between Noah and I, every other word was pretty much ones that kids shouldn’t hear, let alone say. I’d given up on even trying to filter myself or get Noah to do the same. I guessed I couldn’t complain because he was pretty good about keeping those words inside of the house. For such an energetic—and at times spastic—boy, he knew how to hold it together when we were out in public. So as much as I should have been a parent and scolded him for his slip up, I just couldn’t.
“Angel?” Noah called out from across the hall.
“Yeah?” I replied ruffling Logan’s hair as I made my way out of Logan’s room.
“Where is my gray shirt?” he asked, brows pinched together as he pushed his hair out of his face.
Those two were more alike than they would ever admit. While Logan had to have the perfect shirt so he would look his best, Noah had to have his most comfortable one. Still, I knew unless they had whatever they specifically had in their minds then we wouldn’t be leaving the house.
“You wore it yesterday,” I stated as I walked into our bedroom, where Noah stood with his hands on his hips and his head doing a confused scan of the floor. “The hamper.”
Not sure why I’d told him where to find it because I could stare at that man shirtless all day. As if he sensed my thoughts, his eyes jerked to mine. A slow wicked grin spread across his lips as he stalked his way over to me.
“Keep lookin’ at me like that and we’re gonna be late, Angel,” he said in a tone that was meant to be a warning.
Then in the blink of an eye, the bedroom door was pushed closed as my body hit the backside of it. Cautious of Logan across the hall, Noah did his best not to slam me against it, though I wanted him to. His hands splayed over my ass as he hauled me up, my legs instinctively going around his thick frame.
“We don’t have time,” I moaned so low that only he could hear me as his hips did a slow grind against my core.
His lips ghosted over the skin of my neck sending a shiver down my spine. He kissed his way up my neck. One. Two. Three. The last one landing on my jawline. I wanted him, there was never a time that I didn’t and I found myself in a torn lust-filled haze.
We had somewhere to be, people waiting on us. Though, I was sure Diesel and Ellie would completely understand our reason for being tardy.
He pulled back, his steel eyes penetrated mine.
“Marry me,” he whispered so close that I had no choice but to inhale his words.
There was no ring. No getting down on one knee. Not the first time, or the second, or, well, I think you get the picture.
“No,” I said as half-smile pulled at the corner of my lips.
“One day, Angel,” he said before capturing my lips in a slow, sweet kiss that left me breathless. “One day you will say yes.”
“Are you guys kissing, again?” Logan’s voice called out from the other side of the door in a semi-grossed out whine.
Like a bucket of ice water dumped over our heads, we separated, my legs sliding down his body until the plush carpet met the soles of my feet. My head fell back as I laughed, because how could I not.
“We’re gonna be late,” Logan reminded us.
“Five minutes. Meet us downstairs,” Noah called out his eyes never leaving mine.
“Tell me something,” I whispered, my hands cradling his face and my thumbs rubbing against his beard.
The words that had started it all never left us. Throughout the years it had become our thing and we would always choose a random moment to say them. I would say ask but in truth, it was more of a demand. It was the moments when either of us felt our most raw, vulnerable, emotional.
Like now, I was bleeding from my soul for this man. I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, but I didn’t want him to ever think that I was there because we were bound by some sort of law. That was the reason I wouldn’t say yes to him. I had a feeling that he would always know how I felt no matter what. He knew in his heart that a ring, a slip of paper, a ceremony, didn’t mean that I had to stay with him. He had my everything and he always would.
“I love that look you get in your eyes when you see me. I love how your head falls back when you laugh. I love how you let me in. I love how you love our son. Yes ours, because I know some days you have doubts even if you don’t express them. You are his dya—his mother—in every sense of the word, to me and to him.” He paused and I could feel him work down a hard swallow. “I may not have liked how you came into my life but I’m glad as fuck you did, because I don’t know where I’d be without you most days.”
“I love you,” I said.
I may not have said it a lot and I may have fought as hard as I could against saying it at the beginning, but that didn’t mean I hadn’t felt it all along. And he knew. I think it mattered more to him that I held out for the best of times to tell him.
“I love you too, Angel.”
The End