I stood there gobsmacked, while the vampire bombshell laughed at me, along with the girl who was now nibbling at Zac’s ear. She got to nibble his ear, but I got yelled at when I attempted it?

Do something, Jess! Shout at him. Hit him. Demand an explanation!

I should have done those things. If only that look on his face hadn’t twisted my guts inside out. I turned and tried to walk away calmly, but I was heaving from trying to catch my breath, and I ended up running to escape the embarrassment.

If vampires could alter people’s thoughts, could they do it to each other? Could Alex have made Zac forget me? There I’d been, worrying that they could make me forget them, but what if the opposite had happened? Had Zac forgotten me?

No. He’d seen me, and he’d known me. But the malice, then the longing, they flashed across his face so fast. Ambivalence. Why? Why would he treat me like that?

Anna and Danny followed me out, but I ran. I ran and ran, and didn’t stop. I cut corners, went through bars, in one end and out another, until I was certain I’d lost them. Then I continued to stumble blindly from one bar to another and proceeded to get shit-faced. An hour later I was still struggling to breathe. Partly due to the crushing pain in my chest, and partly because of the number of guys who I’d kissed without coming up for air.

They were barely older than nineteen, maybe twenty – the current group of lads that I was eyeing up. They’d noticed me, the old woman drinking alone, desperate. I could feel their jokes, their laughing eyes catching mine. I wanted to fuck them. All of them. My body craved it so badly, to have their hands on me. Any one of them would do… all of them together would be better.

They’d take away the worry, the unknown. I knew myself in the bedroom. I knew what to do and how to make it alright, to quiet the voices, the guilt and anxiety. It was my safe place, aside from the number one preference of adrenalin. If I fucked them, there would be no fears or doubts. Simple pleasure and excitement. The way life should be.

It didn’t take long for one of them to stalk over and buy me a drink. His golden locks dangled loosely around his soft, youthful face as he smiled at me playfully. There was no point in waiting, in playing, pretending. I took his hand and led him to the restroom, his friends clapping as we passed.

He fucked me in about five seconds. Start to finish. I hadn’t even bothered to take my underwear off, just pulled it aside. Must have been a premonition that it would have taken longer to take it off and put back on, than the act itself. Not worth the effort. It took him longer to get the condom on than it did to climax.

I couldn’t face walking back into that bar, to his friends. I was embarrassed for him. For me.

I gave him a brief smile and darted away, off to drown myself in another bar.

The clientele were older in the next one. The beige leather sofas were clean and inviting, the warm light giving a soft glow to the surroundings. Ambient music played at a low volume. Calm. It was calm. Had I roamed away from South Padre?

Before I had time to contemplate that, a tall, bland guy sunk into the sofa beside me and put a hand straight on my thigh. Nope. I was still on the island. Thank fuck for that.

With a slight sigh I turned to smile at him, letting my lips meet his without having spoken a word. Maybe this one would fill the void.

“That seat’s taken,” Danny’s voice drifted in from somewhere. The guy coughed an apology and made a hasty retreat.

I caught the smell of his woody aftershave as Danny moved in to occupy the space beside me.

“You planning on fucking your way around the whole island?” he asked.

“Have you been following me?” I squinted at him, until his tight lips confirmed it. “That’s Zac’s role, not yours. You can’t be like him. Please don’t be like him.”

“And what would he think if he’d been following you tonight?”

“He’d have no fucking right to think a single thing. Anyway, I’m a nympho. I’m duty-bound to live up to the reputation, right?”

“Yeah, sure, if you’re going to listen to the shrink labels when it suits?”

I shrugged.

“I can’t bear to keep seeing you like this, Jess. It’s killing me,” his voice cracked. His muscled body was so close to mine. I leant in and accepted the comfort of his arms. Warm and safe. I looked up and brushed my lips over his.

“Easy there, tiger,” he said, pushing away. “I’m taking you home.”

“Good plan. I have a bed. More suitable than this place, my last experience was far from fulfilling,” I laughed, choking on the agony fighting through my chest and into my throat.

He escorted me with few words. Outside the motel I fiddled around trying to find my keys. I was cursing and crying. He took the purse from me and pulled me in close again. He wasn’t trying to get sexy with me; he was trying to stop me crying. That wouldn’t do. There was only one way I’d stop and it involved sex, and reeked of payback.

I put my hand straight to his cock and rubbed, swaying on my feet. He didn’t stop me, so I kissed him. That’s all there is to say about it really. It was an alright kiss, nice and safe.

A stray dog or something was close by. I couldn’t see, but it was growling threateningly, like an animal defending its territory. Something moved on the edge of my vision. Something dark, shadowy… and fast.

“We should hurry up and take this inside?” I slurred.

“Jess, enough. I’m not staying,” he said, but his eyes side otherwise.

“Only a few hours ago you suggested I could try your merchandise, no strings attached,” I countered. “What’s changed?”

“Everything’s changed. You’re a wreck.” His shoulders caved as his forehead leant against mine.

“So fix me. Or are you suddenly afraid that you can’t fulfil the role of satisfying me?”

“Cast your mind back four years and you’ll answer that question for yourself.”

I raised my brows. “I never texted you back. Doesn’t look good for you.”

“You never texted me because you were afraid that I might actually ground you. Afraid that I could offer you stability and comfort. You weren’t ready to settle down.”

I laughed, too loud. “I’m still not. I mean, I know I’m supposed to be. New start and all that. But my head is a total shit-storm.”

“Which is why, if I come inside, you’ll shove me aside again afterwards.” His voice so full of need, of conflicting emotions. I knew that turmoil.

I opened the door and stepped inside, urging him to follow.

* * *

Morning came with a heavy thud, smashing my brain into my skull, squeezing its painful barbs around my insides. I lurched for the bathroom and hurled into the sink.

When I returned to the bed, showered and yet still feeling dirty, Danny was propped on his elbows. I dropped down beside him and hid my face into his chest, too afraid to face him.

“It’s OK, Jess. You don’t have to worry. This won’t change anything,” he said, his voice too strained.

“I feel like a total dick,” I mumbled.

“You’re not the only one. I’m sorry… for allowing this.”

“You did nothing wrong.” I forced myself to look at him, at the rough stubble that had scratched over my most intimate areas.

“And nor did you. You don’t owe him anything, Jess. Not one thing. Not after what he did.” His arms tightened, fists clenching.

“It doesn’t make sense. He wouldn’t do something like that.”

“Yet, he did.”

“Yes. And he won’t get another chance to make me feel so low. Starting right now. I’m getting out of this shitty motel and putting my life together. That’s what I came here for, that’s what I’m doing.” I surprised myself with the certainty in my claims.

“You know I’ll help you in any way I can.”

“Danny, what happened at the fire the other day, on Isabel?” I asked.

I sensed the confusion on his face, even though I couldn’t see it, with my cheek resting back against the soft hair on his chest.

“Nothing really. You were there, it was just a factory fire,” he said.

“And that missing girl,” I pushed. “When I’d just started. What happened with her?”

“What are you talking about, Jess?” He shifted his weight to try and move my face.

I almost didn’t want to ask the final question, but I forged ahead seeing as I’d started it. “And the fire at the Requiem bar?”

“What about it?”

“Nothing,” I sighed. “Sorry. Guess my brain is on overdrive this morning.”

Fucking mind-bending vampire bastards.

He twisted me around, bringing my chin up with his thumb. “Jess, if you need me to get you more counselling sessions, I can? I know—”

“No. No, thank you. I’m fine. But… us? I mean… I don’t know how this can work. I’m not…” I took to my feet and grabbed a shirt, suddenly paranoid about the scar on my back, even though he’d seen it before.

“I told you, it’s OK. This is what we do, right? You fuck me and then pretend it never happened?”

I winced and thought I might hurl again.

“Honestly, it’s fine. I allowed you to use me in the hope of drawing you away from him. And if that fails, I still got a damn good fuck out of it, right?”

“Pig!” I snorted, slapping his chest.

“I’m your Chief,” he said, not returning my smile. “You can’t have a relationship with me, right? That’s what I’ll remind myself when I’m in my empty bed tonight, and you’re already back in his.”

* * *

Those final words filled me with more fire, more drive, than he could have ever hoped for. Or maybe that’s precisely what Danny had hoped for, and intended, when he squashed me under the guilt of my weakness.

Sex. Lust. Adrenalin. Was that really all that ruled me? Could I not overcome that and become something more?

As soon as Danny left I called the real estate agents and arranged viewings on several apartments. By the time evening descended with its glowing purple sky I had chosen the one I wanted. I would move in within a week.

Then I walked myself calmly into the police station and told them I needed to give a statement about Alex Elwood. Zac’s name so nearly fell from my lips at the same time, but remained caught in my throat. The man at the desk gave me an irritated sigh, before making me take a seat and wait an eternity to be seen.

In the interview room they went through the motions with the recorder, the introductions, then sat with bland faces as I told them about seeing Alex inside the bar on the night it burned, and about the missing girl who’d repeated his name over and over in her garbled state.

The officers didn’t ask me a single question. Just waited, bored, for me to finish speaking and leave. I had no idea why I was there. I knew it was ridiculous. But I had to do something.

Just before I stood to go I figured I may as well throw in my stolen motorbike, too.

“Do you have a personal vendetta against Mr. Elwood, Miss. Layton?” It was the only question they’d bothered to ask.

Are you going to cause me trouble, darlin’… Alex had asked me

“No. Of course not,” I replied tightly, and made my way back to the grotty motel to daydream about the shiny new apartment that would soon be mine.

It was a moderate size, fresh and airy, a dream compared to the motel. Located right in the centre of Port Isabel. Safety in numbers. It felt busy enough that I could relax there. Fuck South Padre island. Fuck Zac on his North and Alex on his South. I might work on that island, but there was no damn way I was going to live there any longer.

I allowed myself the satisfaction of imagining Zac’s rage at me living off the island, away from his protection. But then the image of him with that bitch popped back and blurred all my intentions, thwarted my positivity. Perhaps he wouldn’t even care that I’d left, given the way he’d treated me.

Maybe he would even be glad of it. Glad to have distance from my scent, from the weight of me around his neck, clinging on like a desperate love-struck idiot.

How had I even had the nerve to feel offended by his disinterest? Why did I even care? What business was it of mine? He was a vampire. An immortal being, borne of hatred and selfishness. The things that he must have done…

I shuddered, sitting on the motel bed, and drew my leather jacket around myself. Soon, this room, and everything that happened in it, would be nothing more than a bad memory.

Zac was a fucking prick. And a dangerous one at that. Complicated.

I needed easy, no ties, no stress, nothing deep. There was no way he would ever give me that. He was more, so much more. A whole package of deep shit, dressed up as a delicious thrill.

Stay away. Walk away. Step away from the fuckable freakshow. One foot in front of the other. Ever onwards.

I’d look for another job, somewhere else, where I wouldn’t have to see him. In the meantime, I would carry on with my head held high. I’d play him at his own game.

He didn’t exist.