My bedroom at Zac’s mansion was the size of my whole apartment on Port Isabel. The plush bed, covered in throws and cushions of deep red and gold, had become my prison and my freedom at the same time.

He wouldn’t allow me to sleep in his bedroom with him, for fear of losing control with me. It felt totally wrong to be sleeping in a different room. Every night, or day, whatever the hell time it was when I tried to sleep; I lay awake, longing for him to come and join me, calling out to him. I knew he’d be able to hear my thoughts. He never came, though.

He insisted that I couldn’t stay in my apartment with my broken leg, so I would stay with him. Where he could look after me. Protect me, said the unspoken words between us.

There were too many questions that I knew needed answers, but honestly, I didn’t want them. Perhaps it was easier to stumble blindly along and deal with those answers if and when they came.

Being there, in his home, was where he was the most relaxed. A great weight had lifted from my shoulders. The feeling that maybe we would be okay. That we could work through the ridiculous number of issues, one step at a time.

Danny and Anna had visited me before I left the hospital. Worry and anger seeping out from every pore, all directed at Zac. I thanked them for their concern and eventually convinced them there would be no changing my mind. I would be living with Zac while my leg healed and I would take things from there. One day at a time.

There was a gentle tap on the door. “Room service,” the voice called.

I grinned as Zac came through, carrying a tray of toast, pastries, fruit and fresh juice.

“Careful,” I warned. “I could get used to this.”

“I hope so,” he smiled, sinking down onto the bed.

I picked at the food. Eating breakfast in the afternoon. We always stayed up talking through the night. My stomach growled with relief and appreciation as I ate.

When had he last… fed? Had he fed from anyone since I’d known him? Killed someone? It had been months since we met, he must surely have needed to… in all that time…

“I rarely go longer than a few days without feeding,” he answered my hideous thoughts. “Since you arrived, it’s daily. I have to in order to maintain some semblance of control around you.”

Daily. My insides recoiled.

“But, how? Who?”

“I can’t answer that right now,” he replied, and I think I found his evasiveness a relief for once.

“Can’t, or won’t?”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not ready to lose you yet.”

“You say that like one day you will?” My stomach lurched again.

“Nothing lasts forever. Not even for a vampire.”

We sat in quiet contemplation for some time after that statement, and as his fingers brushed over mine I began to forget what we were talking about.

The window was open and the delicate scent of honeysuckle petals swept through on the breeze, the plants growing around the sweeping veranda, clinging and climbing ever upwards in their pursuit of grander heights.

Beyond that, the grounds of Zac’s estate stretched out. Ornamental gardens, fountains and swimming pools. The steady thump of music from the island bars attempted to destroy the tranquillity of his home. But it failed. There was a stillness here. Calming.

I wondered what it would be like at Alex’s house. What went on inside those walls? What he did to the people that ended up there…

“You know why his eyes taunt you the way they do, right?” Zac asked suddenly.

“What?”

“It’s because they’re not human. Same reason my eyes have the effect they do on you. Still, that doesn’t make me any less jealous about the fact you’re sitting right next to me and still thinking of my brother.”

“Oh, fuckflaps! I’m so sorry!” I gasped.

No matter how hard I tried, I hadn’t been able to get Alex out of my mind. The swirling blue eyes, heavy with intensity, whilst sparkling with mischief. I found myself wondering constantly about what made him so different to Zac.

“Fuckflaps?” The corner of his mouth twitched.

“I kinda have a thing for cussing. You have to be inventive when you do it all the time,” I muttered.

He laughed softly, but the heaviness of his thoughts still seemed to shroud around him. Taking my breakfast tray, he set it down on the nightstand to avoid meeting my eyes.

“You know, this mind-reading thing is starting to wear thin,” I said.

“I can’t help it, it’s part of who I am.”

“You once told me that it gets distracting with all the voices, like when you have twenty groupies all drooling over you, so you tune them out and just focus on what you want to. Surely you can tune me out?”

“Why would I do that?” he asked, bemused.

“Because I asked you to.”

“It’s not that simple. There’s something about you I don’t understand myself. You consume me.”

I huffed and toyed with a cushion in my hands.

“I promise I’ll try to tune you out a bit more. But if you could try to stop thinking about me for five minutes of the day it would really help.”

And my brother, said the words that I knew floated around his head.

I tried to whack him with the cushion, but he predictably dodged it with one of his flashy vampire moves. I threw myself at him instead; a whole body would be harder for him to dodge than a cushion. A sharp stab ran through my plastered leg as I awkwardly lunged.

He didn’t try to dodge this attack, catching me in his powerful arms and squeezing. I rested my ear against his chest and tried to listen for a heartbeat. There seemed to be a faint sound, but it could have been my own pulse in my ears.

“Alex told me something. Or rather, said I should ask you something,” I said, feeling him immediately stiffen against me. He waited for me to continue. “He said to ask you about sanguine mating.”

His heaved breath came, as predicted.

“Let me guess, something you don’t want to talk about?”

“A sanguine mate is vampire folklore horseshit,” he growled.

“If it’s horseshit, why have you tensed up so much you’re squeezing the air out of me?”

He startled and released the locked muscles in his arms. “Sometimes, a vampire is so drawn to a human, they can’t escape the bond. They crave that person’s blood so much that resisting is impossible. At least, that’s the theory.”

“Why didn’t you tell me this before? I mean, I know you’ve told me how drawn you are to me, but why not tell me this? It might have helped me understand more.”

“I’ve not even allowed myself to think about it, let alone say it out loud. That label comes with expectations. In fact, I’d just been at a Bael sanguine wedding the day you arrived on the island. I won’t acknowledge my feelings for you in that way; in a vampire, ritualistic way. I wish to embrace my need as your lover above all else. That nonsense about the sanguine mating would have us believe that we’re fated for only one kind of relationship. One that I will not allow.”

“What if you have no choice? What if you can’t control it?”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to get you worrying about this whole time, but it’s a little late to start now.”

* * *

A couple of days later he brought me my afternoon breakfast tray and I had a sudden urge to throw it in his face. Pent up frustration clawed behind my eyes. I’d spent the whole day tossing and turning in bed, sleep evading me, reaching out to him with my mind… pleading with him to come to me. Yet… nothing.

He eyed me wearily, as if he already knew what was coming.

“I already know how ridiculous and selfish I’m being,” I groaned. “But every time I see you, or even think about you, my body cries out for your touch. I need intimacy with you. Can’t we try to practice again?”

He set the tray down on a table in the corner, knowing I had no intention of eating it.

“I’m scared, Jess. In case I can’t control myself. I can’t let you be like—” he cut himself off and moved to the window.

“Be like what?”

He shook his head slowly.

“Did you fuck her?” I bit out.

“Who?” he asked, spinning round to face me. He looked innocent enough, but I also knew that he could compose the mask on his face without any effort.

“That vampire bitch, Luna. She was clinging onto you like you’d just made her come.”

“That’s nice talk, Jess, real nice. No, I didn’t.”

I did believe him. Really, I did. I didn’t even know why I’d asked. Trying to start another argument, when things had been… calm, normal. Classic Jess move.

“I was just wondering how far your acting went to try and convince them I meant nothing. She wanted to fuck you though, right?” I pushed.

“Of course.” He was so matter-of-fact it made my blood boil.

“Well, that’s wonderful. Not only do I have to contend with all your followers, I now have to try and fend off the advances of female vampires, too. As if I have a chance.”

He smiled then, which irritated me more. “If you didn’t stand a chance then I would have fucked her, wouldn’t I? But I didn’t, because you’re all I need. You fend them off without even realising.”

“For how long? You can’t actually fuck me, can you? Or won’t. If you vampires are as promiscuous as you say, how long is it really going to be before you jump into bed with someone else?”

That shut him up. The silence that followed made it all too clear that what I said was true and I wished I hadn’t said it. What a horrible reality to face up to.

Eventually he spoke, “Firstly, let me remind you that you were the one fucking another man that night. I have women throwing themselves at me constantly and I’ve resisted, but you glued yourself to him the moment things got rocky. And of course there was the other time we argued and you slept with a woman. Do I need to go on?”

Wow. Rumbled for using sexual activities to make myself feel better. I could have done without being told the obvious. I did still feel that my actions were almost excusable that night, under the circumstances, but I chose to remain silent.

“Secondly, and most importantly, I just need time and practice. Once upon a time I never thought it would be possible to resist feeding on whoever I wanted, but I learnt how to control myself. You’re different, but I just need to keep working at the control and I’ll get better at it. I promise that I will be fucking you senseless soon. You have no idea how much I’m looking forward to that.”

“So you do want to practice still?”

“Very intuitive,” he said, crushing his lips into mine and making me lose my mind.