- Ella-
“That smells amazing. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“If you could set the table, honey, that would be great,” my Mom said over her shoulder as she reached for an oven glove.
“Sure thing. Where are the-”
“Second drawer below the microwave.” She opened the oven and the smell of salmon pastry billowed out into the tiny kitchen. “I forgot you haven’t been here since you helped me move in.”
I slid open the drawer and smiled. She still had the same blue paisley placemats we’d had since I was a child. Anyone else would’ve replaced them several times, but she was sentimental to a fault.
I grabbed two and turned around. I could almost reach the table from where I was standing and only had to lean forward to toss the placemats onto it. In fact, the kitchen was so tiny nothing was more than two steps away. I could see that she’d tried to make it as roomy as possible by sliding the table all the way into the corner, but it pained me to see her living somewhere so small.
“How do you like the place so far?” I asked, opening some cabinets and hoping for glasses.
“It’s fine. It’s a bit claustrophobic at times, but I’m getting used to it.”
I took two glasses and plates down from the cabinet above the microwave and set them on the narrow counter.
“I’m the one that wanted to move to the city so I knew what I was getting into.”
“I’m sorry to cramp your style by moving back in.”
“Don’t be silly!” She took a step towards me and put the oven glove on my shoulder. “I’m absolutely delighted to have you.”
I smiled. “Thanks, Mom. It will only be for a little while. I’ll get my own place as soon as I find a job.”
“There’s no rush.”
I decided not to correct her. As far as I was concerned, my getting a job and my own place was an urgent matter. “Silverware?”
“Top drawer just in front of you.”
“Right. Where everyone in the world keeps their silverware. Duh.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll feel at home in no time.”
That’s what I was afraid of. I didn’t want to get comfortable. I wanted to get out and start my life. In my own place. It felt like I’d failed somehow by needing to move back in with her. Especially when I couldn’t even afford to pay her any rent.
I brought the plates over to her, and she hoisted a monster piece of salmon en croute into the air.
“Is that a big enough piece for you?”
I laughed. “You mean for the rest of the week?”
She rolled her eyes. “You deserve it after all that moving you did today.”
“If you insist.”
She lowered the oversized portion down onto my plate. “I’m sorry again about my hips but I-“
“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re doing me enough of a favor without lugging my stuff around, too,” I said, taking a seat at the table.
“You go ahead and start,” she said, opening the fridge. “Ginger ale okay for you?”
“You know it is. Ginger ale? Salmon en croute? It’s like you knew I was coming.”
She poured some ginger ale into my glass. “It’s a nice treat for me, too. To make something besides soup.”
I used the edge of my fork to break off a bite of salmon. “How are things going at the shelter?”
“It’s hard to say. Donations have started rising again now that the recession is easing up on people.”
“Well that’s good.”
“It is.” She lifted a steaming bite and blew on it. “But the numbers of homeless coming to us isn’t going down.”
“Are you still enjoying it, though?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean do you like spending all your time working at the shelter?”
“I don’t really think that’s relevant.”
“Of course it is. It’s your life.”
She shrugged. “It’s God’s will. It’s not for me to judge.”
“Oh well you can’t argue with God’s will.”
“No.”
“Oh my god you’re serious?”
She raised her eyebrows at me the same way she used to when I was a mouthy teenager.
“I’m just asking whether you like how you spend your days.”
“Let me put it this way. I prefer it to not trying to help.”
I didn’t know why she had to be so difficult. I mean, I understood her turning to the church for answers when my Dad died, but I didn’t understand why she continued to act like she and God were on the same team. I was all for helping people in need, but I didn’t like the fact that she wanted to give someone else credit for the fact that she was a good person. It seemed unnecessarily humble and self-righteous.
“So was it God’s will that you made my favorite meal tonight or did you think of that yourself?”
“Ella, don’t.”
“Don’t what?”
“Don’t be a bitch.”
“I just think you should give yourself some credit is all.”
“I don’t need credit. Being reunited with your father in Heaven will be reward enough.”
I was sorry I asked. She was starting to ruin my dinner. “Well I’m glad things are going okay.”
“You should come down sometime when you have a chance.”
“I’d like that.” I took a sip of my drink. “But I’m going to come because I want to. Not because God wants me to.”
“That’s fine.”
“I know.” The whole kitchen was starting to feel like an oven. I stood up and cracked the window over the sink.
“You should bring that guy you’re seeing. Might do him some good.”
“Trevor?” I sat back down and put my hair in a ponytail. “I broke up with him.”
“You didn’t tell me that.”
I shrugged. “It just happened.”
“When?”
“A few days ago.”
“You should’ve waited until after he helped you move.”
“No. I shouldn’t have. That would’ve been using him. That’s why I broke up with him.”
“He was using you?” Her eyes went wide. “For what?”
I shook my head. “Relax. It’s not like that. He was just a loser. I was sick of him using me for rides and-”
She brought a hand to her mouth.
“Rides in the car, Mom. Rides in the car.” I rolled my eyes. “Jeez. You always assume the worst.”
She relaxed her shoulders.
“It’s not like I expect a guy to take care of me, ya know? But I do expect him to remember his wallet most of the time and take me somewhere nicer than Wendy’s at least once a year.”
“Oh honey.”
“It’s fine. The last thing I need right now is a relationship. Especially one that costs me time and money.” I dragged a bite of salmon through the creamy herb sauce that had pooled on my plate. “I have enough money troubles as it is.”
My Mom laid her fork down and her face fell. “I’m so sorry. I know it’s my fault that you’re worried about money.”
“No it’s not,” I lied. “Don’t worry about it.”
“But it’s my fault that you have all that student debt.”
It was, of course, but what could I say? I wish you hadn’t used Dad’s life insurance setting up that charity? I wish you had paid for my overpriced college education instead of feeding all those people for the last eight years? I would never. Plus, that money wasn’t mine to spend. Sure I felt like my Dad probably would’ve wanted that money to go towards helping me pay for school, but unfortunately it wasn’t my Dad’s will that most influenced my Mom’s decisions.
“It’ll be fine, Mom. Really.”
“You know what would make you feel better?”
Fifty thousand dollars? “What?” I asked, bracing myself.
“Going to a fancy party with me.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I have to go to a party this weekend, and I was hoping you would be my date.”
I groaned.
“Pleeaase.”
I refused to look at her puppy dog eyes. “Whose party is it?”
“It’s an opening benefit for the newly renovated Abbott Hotel.”
“Like the Abbott Abbott?”
“Yes.”
“How did you get invited to that?”
“The man who owns the hotel is a friend of mine.”
“Since when are you friends with billionaires?”
“Okay. So friend is sort of a strong word.”
I sighed. “Please explain.”
“William Abbott came in to volunteer at the shelter for a few weekends several years ago and eventually told me who he was.”
“And?”
“And he’s been making donations to the charity ever since, donations that have basically kept us in business the last few years.”
“Wow.”
“I know. He’s a very generous man.”
“What does that have to do with me and this party?”
“Well he invited me to come because he’s going to raffle off a few items to raise money for us, and he thought it might be nice if I was there.”
“Uh-huh.”
“But I think the party is mostly to show off his newly remodeled hotel.”
“So you said.”
“I also thought it might be a good networking opportunity for you.”
“Is that so?”
“Well it’s going to be a fancy party and isn’t that what you got your degree in?”
I laughed. “Sort of.”
“Plus, I’m a little nervous about going on my own.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s going to be really posh.”
“So?”
“So there will be a lot of glamourous people there having intelligent conversations, and I’ll feel like a dope if I have to go by myself.”
“Okay.”
Her eyes lit up. “You’ll go?”
“Sure. It’s obviously important to you.”
“Oh Ella, thank you.” She leaned forward and gave me a kiss on the cheek. “That’s very sweet of you. I’m so excited!”
“Good. I’m glad.” I stood up and lifted my plate. “Are you done?”
“Yes, thanks.”
I stacked her plate on mine and took them to the sink.
“Close that window there when you have a chance.”
“But it’s still so hot in here.”
“I know, but I don’t want to get roaches.”
“What?!”
“A family a few floors below me was infested last month-”
I shut the window as fast as I could.
“She had to get an exterminator and everything. She said they were coming up the pipes.”
I turned around. “Are you serious?”
“Unfortunately.”
“You can’t be living somewhere with roaches. That’s disgusting.”
She shrugged. “We won’t have them if we’re careful.”
I turned back towards the sink, shook my head, and took a deep breath, reminding myself that it was only temporary. Then I decided that there was no time like the present to start looking for work.