Chapter Nine

Sammi looks up from her laptop the moment I walk through the door. “How was the party?”

“I have a date,” I wail. “And I only have two hours to get ready! Is Michelle home?” She’s the only one to talk to for stuff like what I’m going to wear.

“Yeah.” Sammi points toward the ceiling. “But with who? How? Did one of your cousins set you up?”

Ignoring her, I go upstairs. She follows, firing more questions. She really should’ve been a CIA interrogator. Or if it ever becomes possible, travel back in time and become a Spanish Inquisidor. (Or would that be Inquisidora, since she’s a woman…?)

I find Michelle in the bathroom, a lock of brown hair in a curling iron. She smiles. “Hey. So who’s the lucky guy?” she asks, apparently having heard Sammi’s questions.

“Matt.”

Sammi gasps. “You mean the Dick replacement?”

“I thought you hadn’t seen him since Monday,” Michelle says.

“He was at Alexandra’s party,” I say.

Michelle nods. “He cornered you, didn’t he?”

“In a manner of speaking.” I’m not going into more detail than that.

“That’s hot. A man who doesn’t give up easily.” Michelle finishes curling her hair. “Give the guy a chance. How bad can it be?”

Sammi adopts her wise woman expression. “Exactly. Plans change. One-night stands can be nice, but never discount advantages of a steady boyfriend, especially one as sexy as ThaYuMNDo.”

“Meals, movies, flowers,” I repeat Matt’s list.

“Chocolate,” Michelle says.

Chocolate! Matt completely forgot that one, but I’ll remind him later. “My problem is, what do I wear?”

“Something slutty, of course,” Sammi says.

I roll my eyes. “I’m not prowling to pick up my next one-night stand.”

“Where is he taking you?” Michelle asks.

“He didn’t say. And I forgot to ask.”

“How could you forget something that important?”

I shrug, my face extra warm. I’m not getting into the whole thing about whether or not oral sex counts as intercourse, which distracted me no end.

“Call him,” Michelle says.

“Can’t. I don’t know his number. His car isn’t outside either,” I add, in case Sammi tells me to go over.

“I have his digits.” Sammi rattles off a New York number.

“How did you get that? Never mind.” Better I don’t know. That way I can’t be forced to testify against her.

Michelle walks through my room to my walk-in closet. Her feet spread shoulder width apart, she studies what I have, one hand on her chin. “How about this?” She points at a cream-colored sheath dress. “Classy and flattering. Perfect for a first date.”

When I look at it skeptically, she pulls it out and puts it in front of me. “There. It’s so you.”

Sammi nods. “Have to agree. And now that we’ve settled on a dress, I really want to know how he managed to snag you for a date.” Then she suddenly snaps her fingers. “Speaking of which, you need to stop by the store and buy a fresh box of condoms. He looks like he has some serious stamina.”

Based on the temperature of my cheeks, my face must be beet red. “There’s no need. He knows it won’t lead to anything.”

Sammi and Michelle both go still and stare at me. Sammi is the first to break the silence. “What do you mean?”

“I told him no sex.” Technically no intercourse, but my housemates don’t need to know that. Or how Matt reacted to my dictate. I still don’t know why I used the term intercourse rather than sex. It’s like my dirty, dirty mind suddenly wrested control of my mouth from my brain.

“I think he likes you,” Sammi singsongs, giving me a sly look.

“No, he doesn’t. We don’t know each other well enough for that.”

“A guy has to like the girl a lot if he’s going to date her without any expectation of sex,” she says.

“Or he has a sneaky move planned.” Michelle looks worried. “Watch your food and drinks.”

I gape at her. “He’s a coworker. And an upstanding lawyer. The company wouldn’t have hired him otherwise.”

“No, you have it all wrong. He’s a damn good lawyer, which is why he was hired. Which also means he knows all the ways he can weasel out of criminal charges.”

“Is that how you look at your mother’s work?”

“She only handles divorce.” Michelle shrugs. “Says they’re more dramatic and interesting than criminal proceedings. Anyway, I need to go. The world’s full of cheaters, and I gotta catch ’em all.” She sings the last part and stops by her room to pick up her purse. “Ciao! Do everything I wouldn’t do tonight with your Matt!”

I shake my head. Michelle tempts men without putting out. “He’s not mine,” I call to her vanishing back.

Sammi chuckles, then goes to her room. “FYI, I’m gonna be out all night if you want to bring Matt home,” she calls out while typing something on her computer.

“Where are you going?”

“Meeting a few friends then stopping at my parents’ for a nightcap. I’m sure Mom’s going to insist that I sleep over.”

“But you never say yes to that.” Sammi loves her parents, but she doesn’t like to be smothered, or so she says. I don’t understand it, but then I’ve never felt what she considers “smothering” parental love. I wish I had.

“Today’s special. I’m legit trying to make you happy.”

“You know Matt lives right next door.”

“Uh-huh, but it’s time your bed sees some action.”

“Get your mind out of the gutter.”

“Why? It’s comfortable down here.”

I laugh, but then sober a bit and sit on the edge of her messy bed. “I don’t know, Sammi. I feel like I should cancel.”

“What’s really going on?” She props her chin on a hand. “Come on. Talk to me.”

“What if… I mean, dates are awkward, and I’ve always ended up not liking the guy afterward.”

“You’ve actually dated?”

I roll my eyes. “Just because I’m a virgin doesn’t mean I’ve never gone out.”

“Oh yeah. That’s right. Those boys you had dinner with, then came home early, all grumpy.” Sammi nods. “Okay, here’s what I think. If you end up not liking Matt after this, who cares?” She shrugs. “You didn’t want to like the guy or do anything further with him last week when you found out he moved in next door. So I’d say it’s a great opportunity.”

Put that way, it makes perfect sense, except I don’t want that. I don’t want to not like Matt. It’s ridiculously perverse, but I want the man who starred in my fantasy to remain a nice guy even if he really isn’t. Maybe that’s why Mom ran away with Dad and never came back to the family. Maybe she didn’t want to admit she was wrong about what kind of man Dad was.

“You’re overanalyzing this,” Sammi says, her voice surprisingly gentle. “Just don’t think about anything and have fun with him. He may surprise you. You never know.”