TEN

Mortification made Cecelia’s throat feel tight, but the burn, like she’d swallowed acid, came from the sick feeling of jealousy.  She had no right to feel it, she knew that.  But it was there nonetheless and it didn’t make any goddamn sense.

It was official.  This planet was making her crazy.  Completely and utterly batshit crazy.

Even when she squeezed her eyes closed, she could see Rixavox and that other…female.  Her, completely naked.  Him, stripping off that fur blanket while her hand reached for his…

Damn.

Kate had been right.  The Luxirian Ambassador got around.  He could’ve at least had the decency to shut the bedroom door if he wanted to get it on with someone else in the living room.

Now, she was curled up in the smaller fire pit lounge in his bedroom.  All that was in the room was his pallet covered in furs on the floor and the fire pit, which was almost identical to the room in the ‘living room,’ except it was a little smaller, more intimate.  In the back of her mind, she wondered how many Luxirian females had spent the cold nights sitting there with him.  How many of them had he warmed by the fire?

Cecelia took a deep, shuddering breath.

This was so unlike her, getting this jealous over someone she didn’t even know.  Hell, she’d hardly ever had someone to get jealous over back on Earth.

She stiffened when she saw him enter the room out of the corner of her eye.  There was a window, made out of a glass-like material with a navy blue tint, just beyond the fire pit.  She was looking out it but couldn’t really see anything given how dark it was.  She focused on it as he approached her slowly.

“Luxiva…” he murmured, crouching down next to her before hopping into the lounge area.  He kneeled in front of her, his palms flat on the area just above his knees.  His muscular thighs made his leather pants bulge and she vowed not to be distracted by them.

Luxiva? she wondered silently.  Was that Luxirian for ‘I’m sorry?’

But he didn’t have anything to be sorry for, she realized, sighing.  It was irrational for her to act like a jealous housewife.  Yes, her feelings and emotions might be all over the place, she might not understand what was even happening, but he hadn’t done anything wrong.

“She was pretty,” she murmured instead, swallowing the lump in her throat.  She managed to throw him a small smile even though it was probably the most fake one she’d ever given.  “Is she your…girlfriend?  Partner?”

“Girl…friend,” Rixavox repeated slowly and Cecelia could practically see the confusion growing behind his eyes, before they widened slightly.  “Mate, you mean?  Nix!”

He seemed upset by her question and she wondered if she’d just committed some Luxirian faux-pas.  “I’m sorry,” she murmured.  “I just didn’t know if…you know…”

But even she didn’t know what she was trying to say.  Her cheeks burned slightly before she cast her gaze downwards.  Damn, she thought to herself, shaking her head a little.  Just a little earlier, she’d felt comfortable with him.  When they’d been on the hovercraft, she liked talking with him, liked hearing his roughened voice.  She liked that he’d held her between his thighs to keep her warm.  She even, embarrassingly enough, liked him wanting to feed her.  She found it sexy, actually.

Now, she realized she’d liked those things a little too much.

“Um,” she started, curling a strand of hair behind her right ear.  “I’m sorry for walking in on you like that.  I didn’t know you had company.  I just heard raised voices so I came out to see what was going on.”

“Luxiva,” he said again, his eyes a dark blue in the low light, “it was not what you are thinking.  I did not expect her to come.”

Cecelia looked a little to the left and said softly, “It’s okay.  You don’t have to explain.  It’s none of my business.”

His body tensed at her words and he leaned forward slightly, his large, rough hands coming to land on either side of her thighs.  Cecelia took in a sharp breath and darted her gaze up.

“It is your business,” he rasped, his eyes intense and almost pleading.  “It is.  Everything about me is yours alone.”

A jumble of emotions rose up in her, swelling more and more.  Emotions like panic and confusion excitement and lust and even slight fear.  It overwhelmed her.  It frightened her with its intensity.

“I don’t understand,” she whispered, eyes widened.  What in the world was he talking about?

He studied her, his breathing nothing more than rough exhales.  His brow furrowed and he closed his eyes for a brief moment, like he was trying to pull himself back together, piece by piece.

Hesitantly, she reached out to touch his shoulder.  “Rixavox?  Are you okay?”

He flinched at her touch even as a strange surge of energy passed between them.  Immediately, she withdrew her fingers, staring down at her hand, before looking back up at him.

“Tev,” he finally murmured.  “I am well.”

“What did you mean just now?” she asked slowly, not quite sure if she wanted to hear the answer.

“It is nothing,” he said in response, glancing away.  “I just wanted to explain that what happened in the central hub was a misunderstanding.  I did not invite Levrix here.  I would never invite another female into our…into my dwelling.”

“Oh,” she murmured, blinking as she processed his words.  “I just assumed, since she was, you know, naked and everything…”

“She took off her fur covering,” he said and yet another flush marred her cheeks.  “I was trying to cover her when you came in.”

“Right,” she whispered, clearing her throat.  She didn’t know what else to say so she settled on, “Well, thank you for explaining.”

Rixavox was studying her face.  He was still leaned forward, so that he was only a foot away, and his eyes were level with her own.

“May I ask you a question?” he asked softly.  She inhaled a sudden breath when she felt his fingers brush her left outer thigh.  Even through the fur blanket she had huddled around her, the contact felt…jolting.

“Y-yes.”

“Are humans monogamous?”

“What?” she asked, eyebrows rising.  Out of all the questions he could have asked, he’d asked this one?

“I am wondering about human males.  I am wondering how different they are from Luxirian males.  Do you mate for life with one partner?  Or do you have several?”

Cecelia didn’t know how to take a question like that and why he wanted to know.  “Well, it depends, I suppose,” she answered.

“How?”

Rixavox’s thumb brushed her outer thigh again and when the strand she’d tucked behind her ear fell over her cheek, he brushed it back with his other hand.  He felt…everywhere.  His touch, his scent, his voice…it both confused and thrilled her.

She licked her lips since they felt dry and his gaze tracked there.  She was tempted to do it again, but wasn’t bold enough to try.  All she knew was that she liked his eyes on her lips.

“It depends on religion or culture or preference,” she tried to explain.  “My country is called the United States.  That’s where I was born.  And most, uh, humans in the U.S. are monogamous.  Cheating on one’s partner is generally frowned upon.  Many relationships break up if the other partner cheats.  As for having one partner for life, that depends too.  Some people marry one person and then get divorced.  They might marry again afterwards.  The dad of a friend of mine is on his fourth wife.”

His brow furrowed.  “Divorced?  I do not understand this word.  My language implant is not translating correctly.”

It was strange explaining these things to someone, but Cecelia found she didn’t mind.  “People get married for all kinds of reasons, but mostly it is because they love each other.”

“Like a mating bond?” he questioned, his voice low.

Cecelia didn’t know for sure but she could guess that they were at least similar concepts.  “Yes.  But when they decide that they don’t want to be together anymore, then they file for divorce and they go their separate ways.  Sometimes divorce can get ugly.”

Rixavox made a sound in his throat.  “Rebax?”

She might not understand the word, but the confusion on his face said it all.  “Marriages can end,” she said.  “And then you can remarry if you wish.”

“Nix.”

A short, surprising burst of laughter made its way up her throat.  “It’s true.”

“Then it is not like a mating bond,” he said, leaning a little closer.  The smile slowly slipped off her face and her gaze flickered to his lips this time as he spoke.  “Luxirians mate for life.  To one and to one only.”

“Oh,” she whispered, her heart fluttering in her chest.

“Fated mates,” he continued, “are the strongest bond of our race.  The Fates, our deities and creators, choose them for us and bless the union.”

Something Kate told her pushed into her mind.  “Is that the Instinct thing?”

“Rebax?” he murmured, going still.  The tension in that fire pit felt like it was thickening by the minute and for some reason, Cecelia couldn’t take her eyes off him.

She felt breathless as she said, “Kate said something about an Instinct in Luxirians.  It’s like a force that creates this…mating bond.  I think that’s how she described it.”

Rixavox’s jaw ticked and he did that familiar head jerk.  “Tev,” he murmured, his throat bobbing as he swallowed.  “It is a force.  A strong force.  One that is almost impossible to resist.”

She looked down at his fingers, which touched her thighs.  Something about the way he said it dismayed her.  “You have felt it then?”

That must mean he had a mate, didn’t it?

Rixavox took a moment to respond.  His voice was guttural when he said, “Nix.  I have heard rumors of the Instinct.  Not many males have theirs awakened.  There are many different variations of matehood on Luxiria.  The fated bond is the most rare.”

Cecelia didn’t know why his words relieved her.  She didn’t dwell on it too long and pushed the emotion from her mind.  “You can choose to willingly bond with someone?  Even without the Instinct?  And the, uh, Fates?”

“Tev,” he said, inclining his head.  “It is still a strong bond, even without the Instinct guiding the male.”

Curiously, she asked, “And have you ever decided to bond with someone?”  It was only when she was met with silence that she realized her question might be a little too personal.  “Sorry,” she murmured quickly, looking down at her lap again.  “Sometimes I’m too nosy for my own good.  Ignore me.”

“I have not,” he said, voice gruff.  He leaned back slightly and Cecelia felt a little warmth go with him.  “I never saw that path for myself.”

Why not? she ached to ask, the question on the tip of her tongue.  He intrigued her.  She wanted to know everything.  Yet, she’d been too nosy already.  Perhaps Luxirians liked their privacy, like most humans she knew.  Perhaps one day, before she left back for Earth, she would be able to ask him.

Now, however, didn’t seem like the time.

His skin was a dark gray color, the only light source coming from the window.  The darkness felt…nice.  Quiet.  She felt like she should whisper in case her voice broke whatever spell he’d put her under.

Instead, she cleared her throat, running a finger behind her ear.  A nervous habit.  “Um, what time is it?  I didn’t expect it to be so dark.”

Nice, she chided herself.  You are such a stunning conversationalist.

Rixavox looked out the window.  “It gets darker earlier in the northern lands.  It is…I think in your language, you would say early night.”

“Early evening,” she said, smiling a little.

He nodded, running a hand over one of his dark horns.  “The moon will not be out yet.  When it is, we will go to the Rillirax.”

“The pool?” she guessed.  “We are starting tonight?”

“Tev, Privanax was clear in his instructions.”

“Will it…will it hurt?  The cleansing process?”

Rixavox chuffed out a small laugh and Cecelia’s breath hitched at the sound.  “No.  It is a relaxing experience.  It will make you feel…” he paused.  “It is difficult to explain with words.  You will understood soon.”

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a little nervous,” Cecelia admitted.

That calming purr started up in Rixavox’s chest again and he leaned forward.  Her breathing went a little funny when he said softly, “There is nothing for you to be frightened of, luxiva.”

“It’s just, um, it seems too good to be true,” she whispered.  “I went through many treatments back on Earth, none of them pleasant.  They made me sick most of the time and I never wanted to go through it again.  For a moment, I thought I’d never have to.  I thought I’d been cured.  For good.  Then it came back.”

She didn’t know why she was telling him these things.

He stroked her hair again briefly and her eyelids fluttered.  His touch felt so damn good.  Impossibly good.  Maybe she was starved for touch.  It seemed like nobody had touched her in a very long time, much less a man she was strangely and intensely attracted to.

“Privanax is the best healer on Luxiria,” Rixavox told her.  “If he believes that you will be cured of the hellixaxava, then you will be.  Trust this.  You have nothing to fear.”

His words were like a balm and she found herself relaxing.  Letting out a small sigh, she nodded and gave him a small smile.

“I have trained many Luxirian warriors during my rotations as a war general,” he said after a moment.  “I have seen many great fighters, who are driven and motivated and mentally strong.  I see that same strength in you.  Here,” he said, lifting his thumbs to brush them next to both her eyes.  “That strength will heal you more than any treatment could.”

Cecelia’s nose started to burn and her throat went tight.  She was on the verge of tears but trying to hold them at bay.  His words hit a sensitive spot within her, because many times she hadn’t felt strong.  She’d felt sick and abandoned and helpless, most of the time.  

But as he spoke, Cecelia realized that she wanted to be strong.  She wanted to be what he saw.  She’d beat cancer once.  She could damn well do it again.

“Thank you,” she whispered, bringing her hand up to touch his, still lingering at her temple.  The back of his hand felt smooth, yet roughened, and slightly cool.

An energy swirled in the pit of her stomach and she looked at him with tears shimmering in her eyes.  But she felt happy.  She felt like she could handle anything right at that moment.  And as she looked at him, she was beginning to wonder if humans just might have Instincts of their own…

When that thought hit, that was when she knew.

Despite Kate’s warnings, despite Cecelia’s better judgment, she realized that she could get into trouble with someone like him.

And I would probably like it, she thought.