Lilah
“Hey, pumpkin, why don’t you go over there with Mr. Axel and let us talk for a minute?” I suggested to Micah, sending him off to hang out with the bikers who had just helped me to get him back. I couldn’t believe I was sending my son to hang out with bikers of all people. A few days ago, I would have held him closer in their presence instead of thinking it was okay to let him mingle with them.
“He’s a handsome boy,” Cole remarked, keeping an eye on him as he walked over to the other guys. “He called me Saw,” he added with a laugh.
“Yeah, I hope that’s alright. Your brothers introduced themselves by their street names, so I felt it was only appropriate,” I said.
“That’s going to be awkward at PTA meetings, isn’t it?” Cole said, still looking over at my boy.
“PTA meetings? Isn’t that a bit presumptuous?” I chuckled.
He turned his blue eyes to mine. “Isn’t that something you would need me to do from time to time for you?”
I laughed and blushed. I rested a hand on his chest. “Look, Cole, this has definitely been different for me. And that’s exactly what I was looking for when I walked into your shop the other day, but this might be a little too wild for me, especially with Micah.”
He cocked his head to the side. “Nah, Micah will be fine around us. He certainly wouldn’t be the first kid raised by the MC. Ham has a few guys working for him who grew up as Steel Devils. Axel and Trent raised me in the MC. I don’t even remember my parents, but my older brother’s been like a dad, and Trent has been like my uncle.”
“Give me some time, okay?” I pleaded with him. He had proven that he cared about Micah and me, and he’d already shown me that he could be good with my boy, but I didn’t know if I was ready. I had thought I was, but riding along and seeing all that he did with the MC, plus spending so much time around them, I didn’t know if I felt the same way anymore.
“It’s not always this hectic. You’ve seen how things are at the clubhouse. Usually, the most exciting thing is when someone beats someone else at pool or darts. Or if we watch the fight together on the TV,” he assured me.
“I know,” I admitted. Taking the clubhouse into consideration by itself, life with the Steel Devils was far more stable than my life had been before. They were a large family, and they looked out for each other no matter what.
I glanced over to see the guys looking out for my kid while Cole and I talked in the yard. Axel had him sitting on one of the motorcycles, pretending he was driving it. It was off, of course, but I knew one word from me could have fixed that. He would have cranked it up for my boy in a heartbeat. I smiled and waved as Micah looked over to make sure I saw what he was doing.
I sighed and looked at Cole. “It’s nothing against you,” I told him. “I want some alone time with my son, and I need a break to figure out what I want to do going forward. I thought I had it all sorted out in my head, but after all of this, I need some downtime. Back to my boring life for a while, you know?”
I crossed my arms and leaned against my car. Cole put a hand on one of my arms and grabbed it. He didn’t pull me to him. He didn’t try to embrace me, though his touch told me he wanted to, and I was thankful he didn’t. I had no idea how to explain dating to my son yet.
“I understand,” he said. “But before you go, can I ask you a question?”
“Sure, anything?” I said, expecting him to ask something sappy like, Do you think we have a chance?
“Do you think it’s a good idea to take him back to your house?” he asked, and that was something I hadn’t thought about. I’d only been thinking about trying to get home and away from everything.
I looked at Micah again, watching him laugh and smile with the bikers. They were treating him like he was the coolest kid in the world, and he looked like he was having the time of his life.
“I mean, with the house in the shape it’s in? Also, with Troy incapacitated and tied to a chair in there, it’s only a matter of time before he comes to, gets free, and calls someone to retaliate,” he explained.
“You really left him knocked out in there? You didn’t kill him or anything?” I asked, turning my attention back to Cole.
“I couldn’t do that to Micah. The boy needs his father, even if their contact has to be restricted.”
I felt like he was saying under different circumstances, he would have offed my ex-husband. That type of behavior was something else I was going to have to take into consideration when letting these guys in my son’s life. Or, hell, in mine.
“I think we’ll be fine for now. If anything happens, we’ll call,” I told him.
“I hope you call me before that,” he said with a smile.
“If you’re lucky,” I said, playing along.
“Alright, look, I’ll agree to let you and Micah go home under one condition.” He pulled his hand back from my arm.
“What’s that?” I asked, bracing myself for one of his controlling conditions.
“Let me follow you to make sure everything is alright.”
“Cole.” I sighed.
“Let me make sure the house is safe before you try to stay there. If it is, I’ll leave you alone. If it’s not, we’ll figure something out. I’ll get you a hotel room or something.”
“You’d do that?”
“Absolutely. I know you’re uncomfortable about having him at the clubhouse or around us too much, so whatever I have to do to make sure you guys are safe.” He was living up to what he’d said he was going to do. It hurt my heart to see him putting himself out there for me like that when I just wanted to be left alone with my boy for a while.
“Okay,” I finally agreed. “I’ll do it. You follow us home and make sure the house is okay, and we’ll go from there.”
“Great.” He patted my arm again, settling for that contact instead of hugging or kissing me. Then, he walked over to the guys and Micah. He sent Micah running back over to me while he talked to the guys, presumably telling Ham and Axel what the plan was.
Ham hopped on the bike with his brother, and a moment later, all the motorcycles roared to life. Micah jumped at first, but he turned around and waved at the guys as they left. His face glowed with excitement.
“Can I ride a motorcycle like them one day?” he asked, looking up at me with his big green eyes. His face was full of hope and excitement.
“You’ll have to ask Mr. Saw,” I said as Cole walked back over.
“Ask me what?” he asked as he approached, looking down at Micah.
“If I could ride with you one day,” Micah said, looking up at him like he’d found a new role model.
“One day, when your mom says it’s okay.”
“But she said to ask you,” he countered.
“Then, when I think it’s okay, I’ll ask her for you. How about that?” Cole winked.
“Whatever,” Micah huffed out.
“Yeah, it’s never that easy, kiddo.” Then, looking at me, Cole asked, “You ready?”
“If you are, sure,” I replied.
He nodded and walked away, back over toward his bike. He put on his helmet and climbed on, cranking it up.
“Ready for what?” Micah asked.
“He’s going to follow us home to make sure we get home safe,” I explained to my boy.
“Awesome!” he shouted, climbing into the back seat. I was glad to see him so excited.
Maybe I didn’t have to do as much as I thought to explain to him what was going on. He’d already taken to Cole and the other guys he’d met from the MC. I figured if I stuck with the way things were already going, everything would have worked out.
I got in the car, backed out of the driveway, and pulled onto the road. I started driving toward our house. Cole pulled out behind us and followed us. I glanced at the back seat and saw Micah looking through the back window at him, watching him as he kept up with us.
“Is Mr. Saw going to be staying with us?” he asked excitedly.
“What makes you ask?” I responded.
“He’s cool. Did you see all the tattoos he has? And the others told me he did all their tattoos. That’s awesome!”
I smiled. “Yeah, that’s pretty awesome,” I said, remembering my conversations with Cole about getting my first tattoo.
“Plus, I can tell he likes you. And you like him, too, don’t you?”
I opened my mouth to answer him, but nothing came out. I felt my cheeks burning as I blushed. I smiled and shook my head. I’d just been called out by my kid, and there was nothing I could say to deny it.
“I knew it! You do!”
“Alright, Micah. That’s enough,” I said, realizing I wasn’t denying anything, just telling him to quiet down. Meanwhile, the man I had been struggling with my feelings for was riding behind us on his motorcycle. There was no escaping it.
Micah sat in the back seat smiling. Apparently, he liked the idea of us liking each other. I started to think that maybe I’d struck gold with Cole, despite the problems we’d already experienced in our short, whirlwind relationship.
“Okay, look, when we get to the house, don’t say a word about it to him, okay? I don’t want you to embarrass him or anything,” I explained.
“Got it,” Micah said.
I was surprised he didn’t argue that we didn’t need to be embarrassed by it. That was more like something Micah would have said instead of just going with what I’d told him. He really must have liked Cole if the thought of messing something up with him made him agreeable.
All I wanted was some time to process what all had happened, but it didn’t seem to be slowing down any. I was starting to think I wasn’t going to get any downtime from it. My son seemed to be pushing me towards Cole. It seemed my mind may have already been made up for me.
Who was I kidding? I had already made my mind up. I was only asking to be left at home with Micah so I could spend some time with my son and make sure it was a good idea to introduce him to the MC. He’d already met the guys, and he was far more excited about them than he ever seemed about his dad. That should have been my answer right there. I couldn’t help feeling like I still needed some time alone to digest everything that had happened so far.
I knew I wanted to be with Cole. He was protective of me, and he already showed signs of being that way about Micah. When my safety was at stake, he got controlling, but that was only because he was trying to protect me.
“We’re almost home, baby,” I told Micah as we pulled up closer to the driveway, breaking my attention from my own thoughts for a moment.