In the months that passed, my life was pure turmoil. Every fiber of me wanted to look for D, but I didn’t dare. I feared that any efforts on my part might be traced back by the DEA, ATF or members of the Black Aces. They were watching me, always.
Once things were resolved with their endless questions and affidavits, I was advised by my contacts at the ATF that it might be in my best interests to relocate, and I couldn’t have agreed more. I listed my house with a realtor and put most of my things into storage with the items I already had there before hitting the road to wherever it led me.
Days turned into weeks and finally months as I roamed the countryside. I told myself that I was just out for fresh air, but I knew better. In every small town, I stopped at every motorcycle club, every hotel, and I looked for him. Serendipity would be a good thing, but it seemed to fail me. D was long gone, and I just needed to accept it.
Pulling into a small beach town, I made my way to a small shanty advertising fresh steamed crab and cold beer. A sign glowed out front that said lue Crab since the first letter was burned out. It sounded like just what I needed after a long day of driving. It wasn’t very heavily populated, but it was still the off season, not quite spring yet. An older woman with a wide smile came over and took my order, handing it to a nice-looking gentleman behind the bar and kissing him on the cheek. I assumed they were the owners and probably married. It must be nice to find that kind of happiness.
“So, what brings you into these parts?”
I looked up, surprised that she had returned in the seconds during which I had looked back down at my phone, which had beeped with an email from my former boss. I had been forced to resign due to the conflict between some of my accounting customers and my involvement with criminal elements, as they had put it. Still, they had afforded me a nice severance package and she was letting me know that my final week of payment had been made. I deleted it and looked at the woman speaking to me.
“Just looking for a new place to call home. I don’t suppose you know of any places for rent around here, do you?”
“As a matter of fact, I do, but it comes with a job.”
“How so?”
“Old man Smolders up the road a spell. He’s wheelchair bound. His daughter stays with him during the day, but she works as a nurse down at the hospital most nights and needs someone to stay with him while she is away. He doesn’t require much in the way of care. She just doesn’t like for him to be alone. They have a little guest house and a small stipend they exchange for the care sitting.”
“Sounds like it might be exactly what I need.”
“I’ll rustle up her number for you before you leave.”
An hour later, I walked out with a belly full of one of the best meals I had tasted for a while and an order slip with a number on the back of it for Carlotta Smolders. I sat in my car and gave her a call, the desperation in her voice apparent as she asked if I could come right over for an interview.
“Everyone who has inquired has just seemed so young and immature. I can’t afford to have to worry with some party animal ignoring responsibilities or creating more chaos in our lives. I need someone dependable.”
“Trust me, the last thing I need in my life is chaos,” I had told her.
After nearly an hour of chatting, I was hired and allowed to move into the guest house right away. It was small but cozy, and I was given a schedule of what nights I would be required to stay at the main house while she worked. Her father had come in to greet me while I was there and came across as a quite charming man, despite his condition. If anything, he was resistant to his daughter’s need to have him babysat.
“I’ve learned it is in my best interest not to argue with her. She’s more like her mother every day.”
Settling into the comfortable bed my new home provided, I found that I was finding a bit of the peace I had been searching for in the wake of my departure from my small suburban neighborhood. It still felt as if a part of me was missing, but the void left behind by D had begun to hurt less. Perhaps, one day, I might even find my way to love someone again, though I couldn’t see it for a long while to come.
The weeks that followed were uneventful. I did my job on the nights it was required of me, often sitting with Mr. Smolders to read or play chess until he was ready for bed. I involved myself in the small community around me, volunteering at various events that took place in the quickly warming months that led to an influx of tourists from all over. My house sold, putting behind me any ties to my former city that had brought me so much pain. Life was moving on, and I began to feel at least a bit of tranquility.
“Did you see that new mechanic down at the bike shop?”
It was Starla, one of the servers at the Blue Crab. She was well known to have her eye on every available man in town. Whether she had designs on him herself or something else was never really clear, but she could tell you within minutes of meeting any new male member of the local population as much about him as he was willing to impart to her on short notice, especially whether he was single or not.
“No. I don’t have a bike.”
“Well, of course you don’t, but he is hard to miss. So tall and gorgeous. I hear he is a whiz with motorcycles though he isn’t in the local MC. They all take their bikes to him now.”
“Well, if I ever decide to buy a motorcycle, I will know where to take it.”
“Yes, you will,” she replied, unfettered by my sarcasm. “Anyway, he’s down on Coast Road if you want to get a gander at him sometimes.”
“I’ll pass on the stalking of local mechanics, but thanks.”
“Suit yourself.” She shrugged. “The usual?”
“Yep.”
As I sat eating my meal, I was left with a nagging feeling that the conversation meant something, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. Still, I felt the oddest compulsion to visit the shop, perhaps take a look to see what had Starla so stirred up about this guy. Though she was always flapping her gums about some guy, she seemed particularly gung ho about this one, and I wondered why.
I found myself driving down the coast road after my meal. I almost turned around, feeling like I really was acting like a stalker, but something told me to drive on. Pulling into the front of the shop, I noticed that it seemed to be closed down. Just my luck, I couldn’t even stalk someone successfully. Laughing at myself, I got back into my car and drove down a bit further, pulling into a small gravel lot situated to one side.
It was a place where the locals often parked and walked down to the beach. Since it was hidden a little bit by a row of shrubs along the highway, tourists usually didn’t venture here, so it was more of a local spot and less crowded. At first, it appeared to be deserted except for me, but as I rounded the bend that angled down to the beach entrance, my heart stopped in my chest. Sitting there, I saw a familiar sight.
“Stay calm, Janessa. You haven’t seen it in a while. It just looks like it,” I told myself aloud, my eyes still riveted toward the motorcycle sitting in the parking spot only a few feet away from where I parked my car. I got out and walked over to it, taking it in and then looking out toward the beach. There was no one out there.
Shaking it off, I walked down the small section of steps leading to the water and strolled a bit down the beach, my heart rate finally settling down as I realized I had gotten myself worked up over nothing. It was probably just someone who had broken down and left their bike there until they could get it repaired since the bike shop was apparently closed.
The sun was beginning to set as I stopped to look out over the water. I could see movement in the distance. There was someone out there and now he was coming out of the water, walking directly toward me. My heart began thudding heavily against my chest again as he grew closer, his own eyes widening in recognition as he broke into a run toward me and pulled me into his arms.
“Janessa! How?”
“I don’t know. I just came here, something brought me here. How are you here?”
“I don’t know. I was driving through and I stopped at this little place to get my bike fixed. The owner asked me if I needed a job and I decided I did. I was tired of roaming.”
We stared at each other for a moment, realizing what an uncommon act of fate had brought us together again and then he kissed me, his mouth burning against mine in the same way it had the first time he had touched me. We stood there in the edge of the tide, oblivious to the cool breeze blowing across our bodies, wet with the spray.
“It’s so good to see you, Janessa. I’ve missed you so much. You have no idea how much I wanted to come back for you, to take my chances with whatever might happen to me. I was just afraid it would only bring you more grief if I did.”
“The only thing that has ever brought me grief is being without you.”
“How long are you here? How long can you stay?”
“I live here now, D. I took a care taking job with some people up on the coast and am staying in the guest cabin they provide as part of the compensation.”
“What about your accounting job? Your house?”
“It doesn’t matter. None of it matters. It hasn’t mattered since you left. You were the only thing I really needed, and once you were gone, I just didn’t want to be there anymore.”
“I love you, Janessa. I have loved you from the moment I met you.”
“I love you too. More than you will ever know.”
“Trust me. I know.”
We made love on the beach, slowly, exquisitely, and, for the first time in probably my entire life, I felt like I was exactly where I should be in life. It was the beginning of the most amazing chapter yet as we began to build a life together, no longer a suburban accountant and a big city drug lord, but just a simple caretaker and a motorcycle mechanic.
The following year, the owner of the motorcycle shop died of cancer, and his sons sold it to D, along with the small beach cottage that was situated not far from it down the coast from where I had found D out for a dip on what proved to be a very lucky day for both of us. We settled into life as just an ordinary couple with an extraordinary tale of how we met, though it was one we would never be able to tell anyone.
“Here’s a toast to the bride and groom!” Starla said enthusiastically as the band kicked into a slow, sappy love ballad for the first dance. D and I looked at each other and smiled, watching as the two lovebirds who had just been married on the beach below danced across the floor of the Blue Crab where they held their tiny reception.
“They look happy, don’t they?” he asked.
“Yes. They do look very happy,” I replied.
“I bet that you would look amazing in a wedding dress,” he told me.
“Well, you know, I could probably buy one second hand down at the consignment shop and wear it to bed if that is what turns you on.” I laughed.
“I have a better idea. How about you buy a brand new one and I just rip it off of you on our wedding night?”
I looked at him, not sure how I was supposed to respond to that. I thought he was just teasing me, but as I watched, as the music played around us and the bride and groom continued to dance, Damian Diaz, got down on one knee and held a beautiful diamond ring up toward me.
“Marry me, Janessa. I want to be as happy as the couple dancing in your shadows.”
“Yes! Yes!” I squealed, catching myself and quieting down as eyes began to turn toward us. “Get up, D. Get up. Don’t take attention away from them. It’s their day.”
“It’s your day, Janessa. It’s always your day. As long as I continued to breathe air into these lungs, I will make sure that you have the world around you by the horns.”
Couples began slipping onto the dance floor as the music shifted to another ballad and they joined the newlyweds to dance. D slipped the ring onto my finger and then pulled me into his arms, where we danced among them. There was once a time when I had felt that Damian Diaz wanted to own me, to break me, and I hadn’t been so far from wrong, but my understanding of why had been completely off the mark. D wanted to own me because he needed me, because he had fallen just as much in love with me as I had him, and neither of us truly knew how to be without one another once we had realized it was one another we had been seeking.
THE END
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