T hings have changed so fast.

It’s been three weeks since I’ve been working for Logan Raider. Three weeks since he stood in the play room insisting I follow his every command, showing off his control freak side. But ever since he started coming home earlier, spending time with me and the kids, he’s changed. I don’t know if he’s testing out a softer side, or if he’s secretly sweet and was only pretending to be a dick before …

…but I love it .

The best is seeing the change in the kids. Whereas they were pains in the butt before, now they’re better at listening and following directions. I think it has to do with Daddy paying them more attention. Kids act out when they feel neglected. But Becca and Price have just blossomed. I love hearing them yell, “Daddy!” every time he gets home and watching them run into his arms .

Good job, Logan. There’s hope for him yet .

As for us, I stay a while after the kids leave or go to sleep. The sex happens almost every day when I’m at Logan’s. Sometimes it’s nothing but fucking, hard and lusty and raw—and I love it. Sometimes it’s slow and sweet and I love that in an entirely different way. Every time I think he might consider me more than a stress-release toy, he either turns inward or goes back to work .

I love being with him so much—it’s more sex than I’ve had my whole life put together in a few weeks. But…most nights, I lay awake wondering what’s going on. We haven’t done anything together other than fuck—we haven’t shared a meal, we haven’t talked about the future, and we never go out together .

Am I nothing to him but a dirty little secret ?

Or is he afraid of more ?

* * *

O ne evening, Becca and Price have just left to go to Miriam’s house without seeing their father before they go. Logan’s texted to say he’s running late, should be home soon. Of course, I stay and wait. I have no further obligation to him other than to clean up after the kids and prepare the play room for the next day they come, but I want to see him. It’s beyond a desire—it’s a need .

I freshen up, fix my hair, and change into a clean shirt without juice stains. I wait in the living room, reading my iPad until I hear the familiar footsteps coming to the door. Then comes the beep-beep-beep of the security panel recognizing Logan’s handprint. I smile, feeling a bit like a trophy wife awaiting her husband home from work .

Logan busts through the door, and right away I sense that something is wrong .

He sees me, charges right at me, and slams an opened manila envelope right on the coffee table. His eyes are on fire, his shoulders flared, jaw tense like it’s made of stone. “What is this ?”

I have no idea what he’s talking about. I take the envelope and pull out a stack of papers. Court documents? “I don’t know,” I say shakily. Though I’ve done nothing wrong, I can’t help but feel like I have. Then, I see a familiar name smack at the top of the first page …

Arnold Carrington, Esq—Law Offices of Post, Newton, & St. James

That’s my father and the law office he works for. What the hell is going on here? Why does Logan have an envelope with my father’s name on it ?

“Who do you work for?” he demands, hands on his hips .

“What?” I stammer. “I have no idea what this is about. I swear, Logan!” My heart pounds. My head begins to hurt from the sudden adrenaline rush. Scanning over the pages, I see another name—Miriam Dange-Raider .

As in, Logan’s soon-to-be ex-wife, who appears to be working with my father on this divorce proceeding .

All blood drains from my face. I have to sit down or I’m going to faint .

How could my father be working with Miriam? He’s a small-time lawyer, and she would never condescend to work with a firm so small. And yet, it seems she is …

“Are you working here just to inform about what goes on in this house? Are you spying for your father’s law firm?” he yells .

“What? No!” Sitting to catch my breath, I try to make sense of this. “Logan, you’re the one who picked me out from a lineup, remember? I swear, I had no idea my dad was her lawyer. I mean, what are the chances ?”

“I don’t know, Paisley. You tell me. It’s a hell of a coincidence, don’t you think?” His tone is accusing, angry, and part of me feels like I’m responsible, even though that’s crazy. Still, that’s my last name there paired with Ms. Dange-Raider’s. Why is my father representing her ?

And then reality comes crashing in and I realize it is no coincidence. Of course not .

The pieces are falling into place. The only thing that makes sense is that Miriam found out my father is a divorce attorney and then went and hired him simply to screw with Logan. And perhaps, me as well .

“It’s because of that day,” I say, staring at the papers .

“What day ?”

“The day she came here and saw me coming out of your room,” I explain. “My first day. She must’ve done some investigative work to find out who I was and saw that my father was a divorce lawyer .”

Logan sucks in a deep breath and tries to calm down. He sits on the edge of the couch running a hand through his hair. “That crazy bitch .”

Crazy bitch is right. If Miriam hiring my dad is a revenge tactic, then that’s pretty sinister stuff. I mean, what business does she have hiring an attorney who doesn’t work out of the city, has never worked a high-profile case in his life, and lives all the fuck way upstate? It has to be because of me .

Anger courses through me. Suddenly, the voices of everyone I’ve ever heard warning women not to get involved with married or divorced men attack my brain. You’ll always be dealing with his ex, you’ll always be caught in the middle… But seriously, why should Miriam care if her ex is seeing someone new? She’s the one who filed for divorce !

I have to get up and move around. I can’t sit still thinking about this .

“There’s only thing to do,” Logan says, picking up the packet and sliding it back into the envelope. “You need to call your father and talk some sense into him. Explain what’s happening and tell him not to take her as a client. Either he quits or you do .”

I’m aghast at his words. Is that how it is? I guess he has no choice. If I stay and my dad continues to work for his ex, it’s a conflict of interest. “I’ll call him as soon as I get home.” My voice quavers on the brink of tears. This is so unfair. It’s what I get for getting involved with a man embroiled in a court battle .

“Let me know your decision in the morning.” He storms off, leaving me in a swirling dust of indecision, pain, and regret .

* * *

O utside my apartment, the one I rarely see anymore except to sleep a couple nights a week, I pace the sidewalk, phone in hand. I’m about to call my dad, but I go over the words carefully in my head first. My father’s not a big-time lawyer. It’s always a sore spot between him and my mom, that he doesn’t earn what other partners at the firm earn. He’s small potatoes compared to other attorneys in his field. I know he secretly feels like a failure .

I know because I hear the disappointment in my mother’s voice when they talk about work. I hear her sighs, like she should’ve married the other guy, the more confident one, the bulldog attorney, the one who can sell himself better than my dad. My dad hears the sighs, too. I can imagine how important he must’ve felt when he got Miriam’s call .

If I weren’t working for Logan, I would be over the moon for him .

But I am working for Logan. And more than that, I have feelings for him. Confusing feelings, but feelings nonetheless .

Here goes nothing …

I press “Dad” and wait. Just as I think the call will go to voicemail, he picks up. “How’s my little girl?” His voice is entirely too cheery. Almost like he just got himself a big case this week .

“Dad, I need to talk to you .”

“Of course. What’s up ?”

“You’re representing Miriam Raider .”

“How did you know that ?”

“Dad. I work for Logan Raider. I’m pretty sure you know that, because I called Mom the day I got the job to tell her .”

“You work for Logan Raider.” It’s a statement, not a question, one of disbelief. Did he really not know? Will he drop her as a client then, once I tell him ?

I sigh. “Yes, Dad. It’s the biggest gig of my life. He’s paying me thousands of dollars a week, and it’s money I’m saving to open up a small accounting firm first chance I get. Dad, you know this. You won’t take the case now, right ?”

“There’s no way I can drop it, honey. This is a windfall for the firm. Big publicity. If we win this, it’s huge for me, huge for the partners. I’ll most likely get my due share. I’m stoked about it, and your mom is thrilled, and — ”

A dreadful feeling fills my stomach. “Dad…” I pace on the sidewalk at a furious clip. “You can’t represent her. I’m telling you. Don’t you realize that the only reason that woman hired you is because you’re my father? Because I work for Logan? She just wants to stir the pot, create havoc .”

“Why would she do that, Paisley? Does she have something against you ?”

Silence.

I can’t tell my dad I’m involved with Logan, that such a detail has complicated matters beyond belief, but it seems I don’t have to. He figures it out anyway. My father may not be the most successful lawyer in the world, but he’s smart. “You’re involved with him, aren’t you ?”

“Dad…”

“Is that why you’re working there, Paisley? To provide services that extend beyond the responsibilities of child care?” There’s a vicious tone in his voice .

“No, Dad, and I don’t appreciate the accusation either.” Tears sting my eyelids. I want to punch this light post or at the very least the yoga mom walking by who looks like Miriam .

“There’s no other explanation. Why would my client purposely drop James L. Dewitt, a well-known divorce attorney in the city to hire me? I was wondering why fate had finally smiled on me, and now I think I understand .”

“Dad, it doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. She only wants to cause trouble. But it doesn’t matter, because the fact is…I can’t lose my job. I just can’t .”

“And I can’t drop this case,” he says, “As it is, my place at the firm was becoming tenuous and now because of this, things have improved tremendously. I’m finally getting the respect I’ve long deserved. Don’t you want that for me ?”

Ah, parental guilt. “In another other situation, sure. But not in this one. Things may be looking up for you , but now they’re worse for me .”

“Paisley, it’s just a nanny job. Mine is a high-profile case. There’s no contest .”

“No contest?” I whine, fighting to rein my voice in. “In just three weeks, I’ve saved five times as much as my friends have working other jobs in the city. I can’t lose this job .”

The panic settling into my chest is real .

But is it because I might lose my job, or because I might lose Logan ?

The worst part isn’t even that my father has taken this case or seems hell-bent on keeping it after knowing the situation. It’s that he doesn’t care how this is affecting me .

When he doesn’t say anything, I know I’ve offended him. He’s prideful and resentful about his lack of high-level success all these years, but that’s not my fault and he shouldn’t punish me for it. “Dad, Logan Raider is furious that you’re representing his ex. He feels betrayed, as if I had something to do with this .

“I can’t drop Miriam as a client, honey. I’m sorry,” Dad says, and I know my efforts are futile .

He doesn’t care. Mine is just a nanny job. His is more important .

Even though he’s right—my job is and always was just temporary, whereas his could spell an ascent on the corporate ladder—I hate him right now .

It’s always been this way since I was little. Though I’ve always loved my dad, he’s always had the bitter resentments of a man who feels left behind. A man who thinks he has to prove himself big-time worthy before he checks out of this life. He’s never been content with what he has and has oftentimes set me and my brothers aside to put his own needs first .

He’s never cared about how it’s affected me or my siblings .

In the end, it doesn’t matter. Father knows best. Every single time .