Chapter8
Bradley sat back in his desk chair and looked out over his office, smiling slightly to himself. He couldn’t remember a time in his life when he was more consistently relaxed than he’d been in the month since he and Jessica had begun having sex together; of course, he thought, that kind of relaxation was a natural result of getting off up to five times a day, but it was still a pleasant change, and one he hadn’t entirely anticipated.
Gradually, Jessica had opened up to him about her addiction, though she’d shied away from giving any specifics--and from Brad’s point of view, the specifics of who she had done what with, or which sex acts in particular she’d done, were not all that important. Instead, he’d focused on what he could do with her, what would be safe for her, how they could both set boundaries. He’d contacted Kevin, his friend from Stanford, and gotten advice about the situation, keeping the details to a minimum; Kevin had been full of advice.
“Your friend is probably going to be in a fragile state of mind for a while longer,” he’d said. “If she chose to remain abstinent after leaving treatment, she’s been scared that she’ll fall into old habits readily--and that fear is something she needs to address. But it needs to be in a safe environment.”
Kevin had gone on to give Brad advice about discussing boundaries, about inquiring about her triggers and how to identify symptoms of relapse. “With luck, it won’t come up--but that’s something that everyone who deals with addicts has to be aware of: relapses happen.”
His main focus had been on making sure that all his interactions with Jessica were respectful, which Kevin had told him was a major benefit. It had sounded to Kevin like a major part of Jessica’s addiction was rooted in self-esteem issues; while he hadn’t revealed any specifics, he’d generally outlined the kinds of requests that Jessica had made to be rougher with her, to use cruder language with her.
“It’s easier for the addiction to thrive if she doesn’t view herself as a person with agency, worth respecting, a complete human being,” Kevin explained. “Showing her steadfast respect, making sure to show her value and humanity--that will be difficult for her to take first, but it’s something that will help her heal.”
Brad smiled to himself slightly, remembering one of their most recent “sessions.” He had been in the middle of working Jessica with his mouth, worshipping her sweet-sharp tasting pussy, when he’d realized that her shaking was not from pleasure--or at least, not just from that--but from the fact that she was crying.
That was when he’d learned from her that it had been years since any of her partners had gone down on her--or at least, more than just a cursory trip “downstairs” as she put it, to get her wet enough to go onto the next stage of sex. She couldn’t even remember the last time someone had brought her to orgasm orally, or the last time that someone had gone down on her specifically to get her off. That seemed so incredibly sad to him, in a way; for a few minutes, they just laid there on the couch, discussing it as Brad continued to gently touch and play with her--not enough to keep her from speaking or to distract her, but enough to keep her aroused.
It had still been alarming--almost distressing--to see Jessica occasionally crying during their trysts, but Brad had started to understand that it wasn’t, usually, a bad thing. He always stopped and checked with her, but so far it had always been a matter that she was overwhelmed by something positive: something she hadn’t thought she deserved or that she had become accustomed to not receiving.
It was, Brad thought, overall healthy--and he hoped that it was good that he was able to handle the situations without becoming upset himself, at least not visibly.
A notification popped up on his computer screen, and Brad shook himself out of his thoughts to see what it was. One of his upper-level management wanted to hire someone to be a business assistant--and he’d narrowed the list down to four people: two men and two women. He wanted Bradley’s input on the potential hires and had submitted a potential window of time for Bradley to join in the interviews.
Since the company was still very much under his control--this one hadn’t even gone public yet--Bradley did like to take an active role even in lower-down hires, though entry level employees only had to go through the hiring manager and HR. He quickly typed up a reply and looped Jessica in, to make sure that his schedule would be clear, and she would know to expect him to be out of his office at that particular time.
As he relaxed again for a moment, it occurred to Bradley that during their lunches, he and Jessica had talked about what she could do around the city, what sights she could see and what hobbies she might be able to pick up, but he hadn’t--yet--heard anything from her that she’d actually tried anything.
She seemed to be fairly knowledgeable about the neighborhood around her apartment in St. Johns, and she’d clearly found out some things about the area directly around the office building, in the Pearl District, but as far as Bradley knew, his assistant hadn’t even managed to make any real friends in her new hometown.
“That can’t be healthy for her,” he murmured to himself. People that she met at meetings, while important for her recovery, shouldn’t--he thought--be the only social life she had. She shouldn’t be restricted to work, home, and grocery shopping. She should be getting out there.
After living in the city for years, Bradley had a fairly broad idea of what there was to do--and he thought with a little tingle of temptation that it actually would be nice to see his assistant outside of the office context. Careful--are you doing this for the right reasons? Bradley stopped in the midst of opening a tab to look for options he could set up for the two of them to do.
He’d done things outside of the office with most of his assistants, but that was more as a matter of convenience. He brought them along on occasion for events that he himself had gone to, just for the sake of having someone there who knew his schedule in case someone tried to arrange dinner or invited him to some other event, or in case he needed arrangements to be made wherever it was he was going--things like that. Occasionally, when he had to go out of town for business, it had become a part-vacation for whoever his assistant was at the given time, since they could manage his schedule from the hotel where they had a room a few doors down from his.
But this was different, and that meant that he had to think carefully about why he was doing it. He cared about Jessica, certainly; he’d cared about all of his assistants. Hadn’t he made sure that Jake had everything he needed to relocate with his wife? But even as he tried to deny any kind of conflict, Brad knew that it was denial--pure and simple.
He cared more about Jessica on a personal level than he had about any of his previous assistants, rather than a professional one, and the fact that they were having sex regularly contributed to that. He had a connection with her that he quite simply hadn’t had with the other assistants he’d hired.
“That doesn’t mean it’s wrong, though,” Brad murmured to himself out loud. Just because he was more personally concerned about Jessica didn’t mean that he was overstepping his boundaries with her, did it? He put in a search term in the tab to pull up options for things they could do in the city together.
Outside, it was raining--as it so often did--and he made a little mental note to stick with indoor things, just in case. Seeing Jessica outside of work didn’t have to be a problem, even if they were already having sex. They managed to keep things professional when they needed to be professional--didn’t they? Brad thought about that for a moment. None of their trysts had been during their normal professional work together--none of them were even, really, spontaneous.
They were scheduled for lulls in the work day, for both of them. No one was or would be any the wiser about it; Jessica had so far been very careful to make sure that there wasn’t even a possibility that someone might arrive early or their “meetings” would run late over into another engagement or visitor coming to see him or anything like that.
So, Brad decided firmly, he would make tentative arrangements and then send Jessica the details, and he would let her know that if she wasn’t comfortable with it, she could turn him down--no questions asked, no pressure, no blame.
His scanning gaze fell on one choice, and he smiled to himself. It was so perfect: cheesy and genuinely interesting in equal measures. And it would be fairly easy to arrange something, to make it special. Brad thought for a moment and then sent an email to start the process, before opening a new email to send to Jessica--to her personal, rather than her business email, but he knew that she could access both from her desk, and often did.
How would you like to check out the Oregon History Museum with me on Saturday? You’ve been in the state long enough that you should learn a bit about it here, don’t you think? If you don’t want to spend your non-work hours with your big, bad boss, I can enjoy it on my own--but I thought it might be fun for you. Let me know!
He attached the email that he’d sent to the contact person at the museum, requesting what it would cost to reserve the museum for a private event in the morning on the weekend, or maybe after the museum was closed at 5 in the afternoon--if that would be easier on them.
He clicked send and turned back to his actual work, telling himself not to worry about whether or not Jess had gotten the email. He would find out soon enough, and getting antsy about it was pointless. If she didn’t want to go, he reminded himself, the right thing to do would be to accept it gracefully. Then, he could figure out something else to do with the tentative reservation he was making--smooth things over with everyone involved.
But the thought of spending a couple of hours with Jessica in the museum alone, wandering the exhibits and watching her take in the information, was definitely appealing; maybe they could go to lunch after, or dinner, and make a date of it, informal as it would be.
He had just managed to successfully get the concern out of his head when his computer pinged, notifying him of a new email on his personal account. It was--as he’d hoped in the instant he’d heard the ping--a reply from Jess. That sounds awesome! Would you want me to set up lunch or dinner to go with it? Bradley smiled slowly to himself. Clearly, there was no problem, and he wouldn’t have to smooth anything over at all.
I’ll set it up for myself, if you don’t mind, he replied. I’d like it to be a nice day for you, since it’s going to be during the weekend, so you can enjoy yourself. He considered the options around the museum and decided that he would make a reservation--if possible and necessary--once he got an answer about what time of day he could rent the place for a couple of hours. He hoped that it would be in the evening; that way, they could take their time, enjoy it without anyone pressuring them to get out so the museum could open, and then have a leisurely dinner.
It occurred to Bradley to wonder whether or not there would be an expectation of sex from Jessica; thus far, all of their “sessions” had happened in his office, in more-or-less controlled settings, so it was a risk to be alone with her somewhere in a social situation that invited a certain level of intimacy.
But Brad told himself--whether or not it was, strictly speaking, true--that he was not doing this to have after-hours sex with his assistant. It was just a social event, like their twice-weekly lunches. He wasn’t against sex happening, but he wasn’t going to look for it as an outcome.
Bradley set the issue aside while he got down to the business of answering professional emails, and business needs in his company. He knew that Jessica would probably schedule them a tryst together in a few hours--close to the end of the day, when he didn’t have anyone coming to see him--and he would want to have as much work done as possible before then, so he wouldn’t be even slightly distracted by obligations while they had sex together. He wanted to be fully present, fully able to deal with whatever might come up--and the prospect of sex, on its own, was enough of a thrilling reward for him to want to get everything done to enjoy it.