ELODIE WASN’T THERE WHEN I got home. I couldn’t remember if she had to work or not—I barely remembered that I had to work—and I didn’t pay attention to whether or not her car was in the driveway.

I took a quick shower, but I still felt like death when I got out. Brien used to keep a hangover kit in his dorm. Extra-strength Tylenol for a headache. Benadryl for puffiness. Pedialyte to replace essential minerals. And Alka-Seltzer to soothe the stomach. He was like a depraved Boy Scout, always prepared. What I wouldn’t give for a couple of Tylenol now. Leave the ex-boyfriend, take the meds. That sounded like a good plan. I searched the entire house, but came up empty-handed. I even fumbled through the drawer with the packets of soy sauce and chopsticks, just in case I’d find one of those little individual packets of Tylenol or Advil in there. I wouldn’t even have cared if it was expired. No pills of any kind, but I did find an old fortune cookie which I cracked open.

You don’t need strength to let go.

All you need is understanding.

Actually, fortune cookie company, I really need some aspirin.

I made a cup of coffee and sat at my kitchen table, staring into space. My mom, my dad, Austin, Kael—every stressor in my life seemed to be weighing on me, hard. Tapping me on the shoulder, pulling the muscles in my back. I wanted to bang my head against the wall, to cry or scream and shout. But I had to leave for work and, as everyone kept reminding me, I was the responsible one.

Just do the next thing, I told myself. Put one foot in front of the other and do what needs doing. That’s how you’ll get through the day.

With that little pep talk in mind, I made my way out of the house, through the alley to the parlor. The doors were unlocked when I got there, the OPEN sign bright in the window. Mali was behind the desk, checking in a middle-aged man and woman for a couple’s massage. I was glad I came in as they were being escorted to the room so that I didn’t have to take them. She looked really excited about it. He looked annoyed, as if his wife had dragged him there to work on their relationship or something. You could always tell. That’s why couple’s massages were my least favorite thing. I’d rather rub a client’s thick, callused heels, and I really hated doing that.

“Good morning sweetie,” Mali said when she returned. “Or not so much?” she asked, her eyes searching my face. She could see always see right through me.

“Hangover,” I offered. I thought it was best to admit at least half of my problem.

She took in my wet hair, puffy face, and bleary eyes. “Hmm,” was all she managed.

It would be a long day if Mali, of all people, was getting on my nerves.

“Is Elodie here?” I asked. I couldn’t see the calendar from where we were standing.

“Yes, and on time,” Mali told me, nodding her head in approval and maybe making a little dig at me, but for what I couldn’t tell. My first client was at one.

“She’s not late that—”

“Your client is here,” Mali said, looking toward the door.

“I don’t have a client until—”

“Not true,” she said. “Here. Look at the schedule.” She pointed to the name scribbled on the little blue line that said ten o’clock.

“Did someone move their appointment? I can’t read this,” I said to Mali.

The bell dinged behind me and Mali turned to address the customer in her sweetest voice.

“Mikael? For an hour deep tissue at ten? That you?”

I nearly choked on the air when I turned around and saw Kael.

Sure enough, there he was wearing a gray T-shirt and joggers. They were black, tight on his legs, with a big Nike swoosh on the thigh. He looked exhausted, or hungover. Like I was.

“Kael,” I said, like I had to tell myself that he was actually standing there.

“Hey,” he replied.

Hey?

Was he here to talk to me? Or to get a massage? Both?

It was all too much.

He waited patiently while I collected myself and checked his name off of the schedule. I stared at Mali until she walked away—reluctantly—a smirk imprinted on her face. I looked at Kael and felt the tape of the last twenty-four hours unwind.

I didn’t like him, I told myself. That addiction stuff was nonsense. It was just that it had been a while since I’d been in close contact with the male species, so of course he was getting inside my head. I was lonely, that was all. Everybody got lonely. It was only natural.

“Right this way.” My voice was cool, professional. He wasn’t the only one who could be aloof. I pulled the curtain back to enter my room, and as I did, Elodie popped up around the corner, a little French jack-in-the-box. “Hello!” she said, her voice high and cheery. She scared the hell out of me and I jumped away from Kael.

“I left before you woke up. I had—” She stopped talking when she saw who was with me.

“Kael? Hello!” She double-kissed his cheeks and I moved out of their way. In fact, I leaned my back against the wall. An appropriate metaphor, I thought.

“Elodie. How’s it going?”

They talked for a moment, good-natured casual conversation. But when he put his hands on her elbows—a friendly and completely appropriate gesture—I felt a wave of anger swell. That’s when I knew I had completely lost my mind.

“I’m really hungry all the time. I can’t seem to gobble down enough food.” She laughed as she said this. Kael smiled at her and I found myself glad he didn’t laugh with her. Yep. Mind was lost. She looked at me and I avoided her eyes. She had to be wondering what was going on.

How could I tell her if I didn’t know myself?

“Well, I’ll see you around,” Elodie said, and made her way back to Mali.

I walked into the room without even looking at Kael. I was usually much politer to clients; I would never turn my back on them. But I did now. Let him follow behind me. Let him feel what it’s like to see someone’s back disappear through a door.