Chapter 14

Not without trepidation, Lisa resigned from her teaching position. Giving up her salary bothered her, but she’d husbanded the profits from the sale of her parents’ house. Her ability to budget would pull them through with a monthly portion toward household expenses. When she graduated from law school and started her career, she’d more than make up her expenditures with higher earnings—after she repaid her school loans. Now, at the beginning of the spring semester, with excitement strumming through her, Lisa marched up Commonwealth Ave and reentered full-time studies as a law student. 

She stopped off to see Eileen Kerry. “Welcome back,” said Eileen warmly. They chatted for a moment, and the advisor wished her good luck.

“Thanks. Fortunately, the football season is over. Unfortunately, the Riders lost the play-offs, but at least Mike’s more available to be with the kids.”

“Well, good. We never talked about your husband when we met. Is he an announcer, a sports writer or…or…something else?”

Lisa crashed to a mental halt. Then her thoughts raced. She was registered under Delaney, but had she truly never mentioned Mike to this woman? And should she now? She hadn’t had this issue when she was a student the first time. She and Mike hadn’t been married yet, and besides that, Mike had been a no-name ball player right out of school. She could postpone the inevitable with Eileen, but with all the media coverage, the truth would come out eventually.

“Hmm…well, he’s definitely part of the Riders organization. Mike Brennan. Delaney is my maiden name.” 

 “Brennan…Brennan. Sounds a bit familiar, but I have to confess,” said Eileen, “I don’t really follow football and don’t read the sports pages. Should I know him?”

A piece of luck. “That’s wonderful, Eileen. I mean—I’m here to study and become a lawyer. Not be a celebrity wife. Mike’s the quarterback, and I suppose millions of people know his name.”  She glanced toward the doorway and back at the woman.

“Ah-h. I get it. My lips are sealed, Ms. Delaney.”

Lisa leaned against the desk in relief.  “Thank you so much! I so appreciate that.” 

At the end of the day, she was more than grateful about Eileen’s ignorance of the game. Her confidence flagged for the first time since she’d made the decision to return to school. She’d forgotten how the coursework had consumed her that first semester. Sure, she had the ability to master the curriculum, but would she have the time it required? Content in the doctrines and rules of torts, property law, contract law, plus participation in moot court would command all her time and energy. She’d have to draft briefs and present oral arguments before a panel of faculty, lawyers, and students.

“So it’s a good thing I kept Delaney on my records,” she told Mike as they prepared for bed. “I saved you the embarrassment of having a wife who might fail.” 

“You? Fail? That’ll never happen.”

She pointed to the stack of books lying on her dresser. “These are only the ones I can carry. I’ll need to be in the law library most of the time doing research.” Wringing her hands, she said, “Have I made a mistake? There’s so much to do right here at home.”

“I thought we were partners, Lis. Today ran smoothly here. You’ll have to trust me to organize the house. I’ll get the kids off to school. I’ll train at the stadium, and I’ll be home by three o’clock. I’ll also hire a cleaning service once a week. Don’t worry, it’ll all work out.”

“A cleaning service? I thought we agreed that Saturdays…”  But she’d be studying on the weekends, too. 

“The kids have their chores, but heavy cleaning isn’t one of them.”

Of course, he was right. She reached for his hands, looked into his eyes. “Mike, I’m so scared.”

He held her close. “You’ve been scared before, honey, and survived. Besides, I’ve got your back.” Then he kissed her, and nothing else mattered.

#

A month later, at the end of a cold and dark day, Lisa entered the house after using the law library, and followed the sound of male voices into the kitchen. Six guys and a poker game. Cash lay all over the table; takeout cartons and longnecks sat everywhere. The twins and Emily were still in their school clothes and dirty dishes filled the sink. Was this what Mike meant about “having her back”? 

“Uh-oh. Your wife doesn’t look happy,” said Nate Dixon, who happened to glance up at her arrival. “We’ll clean up. Don’t worry.”

Right. “I’m going to hold you to that.” She didn’t need this…this disappointment. Looking hard at her siblings, she said, “Get upstairs, undressed, and ready for bed. You’ve got school tomorrow. Have you done your homework?” 

“Yes, yes, and yes, and we’re having fun. Why can’t we stay and watch poker?”

Because I said so! She refrained, but barely. “Because it’s late and you won’t get up in the morning. Go. Now!”

Emily went, the boys lingered, muttering about her ruining their fun. 

“It’s my fault,” said Mike. “I lost track of the time.” He glanced at his watch. “Nine thirty. It could be worse.” He gestured at the twins. “Go on. Your sister’s right. The evening’s ended for you.”

With a lot of mumbling and dragging of their feet, they disappeared. Lisa walked into the living room and collapsed on the sofa, a comfortable old friend. She closed her eyes and let her head fall back on the cushion. Tired. She was bone-weary tired. And she had to work on a writing assignment that night. 

The boys were starting to resent her, and Mike seemed to have become another kid, but bigger. A kid who needed friends around him and constant activity. This wasn’t the first time his buddies had come to the house. They usually watched football videos and studied other teams. But this was the first poker game, and she’d bet there would be others. She couldn’t deny him his friends, but pigs would fly before she’d clean up that God-awful messy kitchen. 

Her stomach rumbled. It had been hours since she’d eaten anything, and she was hungry. Against her better judgment, she dragged herself back to the game. 

“I don’t suppose you saved some dinner for me?” she asked, peering inside the fridge.

“I’m not sure,” admitted Mike. “Sorry, Lis. We all just kinda pounced, but the kids got as much as they wanted. Jen, too. I guess I messed up.”

You sure did, Michael. You sure did. She reached for the jars of peanut butter and jelly, noting the men about to deal their next hand. “Order some extra next time, will ya?”

But her stomach knotted. She’d become nothing more than an after-thought to her own husband.

#

Gracie and Lisa’s Notebook

May 30, 2011—almost two and a half  years since we lost you

Dear Mom and Dad,

I’ve finished another semester of law school! One full year is done. Mike tried his best on the home front, but it was tough. When Emily got sick, she wanted me to stay with her but had to settle for Mike. I hated not being there. In the evenings, Mike had to supervise while I rushed through dinner and cracked the books again. But the semester’s over!

I can’t figure out if Andy and Brian are turning Mike into a big kid. Or if his teammates are. Or if he’s been one all along. Maybe athletes think of life as a big game. They’re treated like rock stars in the media and by the public. Mike definitely has a spotlight on him. Maybe I shouldn’t be surprised, but I didn’t anticipate this distraction. Mike’s always been a regular person to me, but I guess we’re not living an ordinary life anymore. Someone in this family must hang on to common sense, and that someone is me. No surprise. 

The F-word around here is Fun. Mike’s bought enough toys and equipment to stock a school. So wasteful. However, I do appreciate his purchase of new winter clothes. The kids outgrow everything so quickly! I guess my disapproval shows because they all tell me to “go with the flow.” Big vacations are on the agenda. 

What kind of values will your children have as adults if they’re indulged so much? This lifestyle has become too real. I want you to be proud of your children now and later. I want to do a good job for you. Mike just wants to make them happy. And now that includes a violin for Emily. He’s talking to Ms. Merri about buying one before we move. 

I’m glad the younger ones adore Mike, but they still need some mothering, too. I’m also glad summer is here. We all need time together—without a schedule.  

#

Gracie and Lisa’s Notebook

July 18, 2011—our second anniversary

Mike and I are spending our anniversary unloading cartons in the new house, a four-story brick Tudor in Beacon Hill. Mike loves the place, but it’s overwhelming me with so many empty rooms in need of furniture. It’s got an elevator inside. Can you imagine that? I agreed that owning a home was the right thing to do, but I think I’ve fallen down the rabbit hole with Alice.  

Despite losing the play-offs last January, Mike’s looking forward to the new season. Training camp’s just around the corner. He’s anxious to get started. I think he’d play for a fraction of what he’s earning. Maybe one day, Jen will be ready to give us some financial advice—she is so into her business program! In the meantime, Mike’s money is sitting in a simple savings account. He’s been approached by plenty of financial advisors but hasn’t found anyone he trusts yet.  

 He tried to buy a house for his brother and sister-in-law, who are expecting their first child. David was insulted, and the brothers had a heated disagreement, which was very disturbing because those two never fight. In the end, Mike forced a down payment on the couple.

Your younger ones are in Connecticut with Aunt Sally and Uncle Steve this week. Jen and I dropped them off yesterday. Emily wouldn’t let me leave, but Aunt Sally managed to distract her. Emily’s violin is the key. She still thinks you can hear her playing and that she’s talking to you. I say nothing. Who am I to doubt? All I know is that it helps her.

Lisa’s hand trembled. She dropped her pen, and in a moment, she was sobbing, her head resting on her arms at the desk in the master bedroom. She didn’t often break down anymore, but at this moment, when she was tired and uprooted again, when going through cartons of family items started memories flowing once more, she couldn’t hold back the tears.

Mike and I—our second anniversary—but something’s not right. We haven’t spent much time together this year. Law school interfered a lot. And there’s always so much supervising to do with the kids. Everybody needs a piece of me. If I’m with the boys, I should be with Em. If I’m with Em, I should be paying attention to Mike. If I’m with Mike, I should be with the kids. Maybe I should have gone to Miami with him last January, but Emily… 

Crying was a good release as long as no one saw her. She took a deep, shuddering breath, then another. And felt better. Almost as good as she felt after making love with Mike. Hmm…talk about a release. Too bad they communicated better in bed lately than in real life.

I’m doing the best I can, so don’t worry. Thankfully, the boys provide comic relief.

Love, Lisa

#

Mike stood in the doorway of the master bedroom in the new house, watching Lisa stow her journal. She’d been crying again. It seemed to him that every time she wrote in the damn notebook, she cried. The therapist encouraged writing. Mike thought it pulled Lisa backwards instead of forwards, but he wasn’t a shrink. He could be dead wrong. Maybe she was just tired. Moving days were a lot of work, even with hired professionals to handle the furniture. He stepped into the room. 

“I think we’ve earned a good dinner tonight. How about Mama Rozetti’s?”   

“Good choice, but I’m too tired and filthy to go anywhere.” She looked him up and down, then shook her head. “I don’t know how you do it. You’re as dirty as I am, worked as hard or harder than I did, but you never get tired.”

He grinned. “Clean livin’ and good lovin’.” He leaned down and kissed her. “Happy anniversary, Lis. Bet you thought I’d forget.”

Her blushes always gave her away. 

“I wasn’t sure with all this turmoil around us. But I’m glad you remembered. How about celebrating here with a pizza or Chinese? I’m hungry. But after I shower, I’m going to sleep.”

He and Lisa needed to have a serious talk before he started training camp next week. Staying home that night actually seemed like a good idea.  

An hour later, he watched Lisa sit back, replete after dinner. Jen was with them, too, the only Delaney sibling around, but she quickly excused herself and returned to her new suite of rooms on the fourth floor of the townhouse. She’d said it was better than a dorm. Perfect for a college student. He and Lisa agreed about that.

“Training camp starts next week,” he began. “Then preseason games in August, and then…well, you know the drill. We need to square away a few things.”

“I’m one step ahead of you. I’ve already left a message with Eileen Kerry that I’m dropping out of school.”

“What?” She’d blindsided him. “Wait a minute, Lis. That’s a big step, and I have a better idea.”

“No housekeepers. I don’t want a housekeeper living in.”

“Not living in. Someone who’s more like a nanny. She’d make the lunches, be here at three o’clock…”  His wife wasn’t listening, had tuned him out. He clasped her hands. “Talk to me, Lisa. Why not?”

The shadows were back. Those big eyes of hers so expressive in their sadness. “Because hiring a stranger is no substitute for family. If I can’t do the job, then maybe the kids would have been better off with my aunts and uncles.”

“They would have been split up.”

“Nothing’s easy, everything’s hard,” she whispered. “Even when you took over last semester, we had sticky times.”

“Sticky times” was actually an understatement. After the first poker game, Lisa had demanded daily reports. She didn’t trust him, and he resented it. True, he’d screwed up once or twice. One time, he’d come home late. The kids had gone into the backyard, where the boys found privacy to relieve themselves. When he’d arrived, Emily was crying. He’d been too late to help her, and she’d wet her panties. He’d made each child a set of keys the next day. He wasn’t proud of the incident, but…stuff happened. However, he hadn’t expected Lisa’s decision to leave school. He couldn’t allow it to stand.

“Mishaps don’t count as long as they’re resolved. And I took care of the kids. In the end, they were in good hands. They were happy. Stop being so critical! And stop acting like a martyr.”

“A martyr? No. Don’t insult me. I’m just doing what I have to do.” 

“We’re both doing what we have to do. We’re both missing out on what should have been carefree days. Right now, my career sustains us, and….”

“I would have been right up there with you if not for the kids,” she interrupted. “Are you saying my own goals mean nothing?”

“No! I promised you when we got married that one day you’d graduate. I meant it then, and I mean it now. So, let’s make a deal.” The sooner she got that damn degree, the better.

She cocked her head, eyes brightening. Good. At least she was listening. 

“Let’s try a nanny for one semester, no long-term commitments. We’ll do the interviewing together. We’ll go through a licensed, accredited agency and ask a ton of questions. Let’s see how it works. If it doesn’t, then I won’t say another word if you want to leave school.” He spoke quickly, reminding himself of other times when he’d had to come up with ideas and solutions on the spot. Would Lisa give this one a chance?

She licked her lips, looked at the ceiling, then at the floor. She was thinking…and tempted. “All right. We’ll try it for one semester.”

“That’s all I ask.” Really, for her sake. Nothing else seemed to make her happy.  

“Try what out?” Jen had entered the room.

“A nanny, so Lisa can stay in school. Football season is here.”

“A nanny? Not for me!”

“Of course not for you.”

“I could take next term off and stay with…”

“No!” Mike and Lisa interrupted simultaneously. “But thanks for the offer.”

Lisa stared at Jennifer, and Mike saw the pride his wife had in her younger sister. Lisa’s smile, her sparkling eyes, the clear forehead. No furrows or wrinkles.

“You’re a wonderful girl, Jen,” she said. “You’ve come far. Mom and Dad would be so proud of you.”

At that moment, Mike felt proud of himself. He’d brought Lisa around to his nanny idea, and now he’d go off to training camp with a clear mind. The kids and Lisa would start a new school year, and a nanny would organize everything. Problem solved.