Chapter 25

Monday, November 4, 2013

The Boston Globe—Sports

NFL Injury List

Boston Riders:

Mike Brennan, QB, bruised ribs

Tony Aiello, DE, separated shoulder

Jack Miller, RB, broken ankle

BRENNAN OUT FOR 2-3 WEEKS,

OFFENSE AND DEFENSE WEAKENED

All eyes are now on Chris Carter, the backup QB for the Riders. According to head coach Tom Knight, Carter is the QB who will lead the team while Brennan’sout. Two-time Super-Bowl-winning quarterback Mike Brennan is recovering from severe bruising suffered at Buffalo last Sunday.

Injuries are plaguing last year’s number one NFL team. Fortunately, Brennan should be back soon. Aiello and Miller are key players with major injuries. They won’t be back this season.

#

Lisa had turned Sunday afternoon into a family football day, and all her siblings and Doug were with her. When Mike went down, an audible cry filled the room. Her heart pounded; her eyes stayed glued to the screen.   

“Get up, get up. You can do it,” said Brian to the television.

Mike tried to rise and staggered, and then almost fell before being put on a stretcher. 

How could a man of Mike’s build survive the impact of a defensive end weighing in at almost three hundred pounds and whose only goal was to sack the QB?  

“He always comes through,” she said. “Every week, he takes some bruises, but he’s basically in good shape afterwards.” 

“Of all the games you decided to watch,” began Jen, “this one shouldn’t have been it.”

Or maybe she should have cheered every game. “I guess I can’t control everything. Life’s a risk. But oddly, I’m not as frightened as I was before.”

“Quiet!” cried Andy. “They’re announcing it now.”

A minute after hearing about “painful bruised ribs” needing several weeks to heal, she grabbed her cell phone and hit QB coach Nick Russo’s number.

“Bring him to the house to recover,” she said. “Not to his apartment, where he’s alone. The team’s doctor can visit him here—with detailed instructions.”

She listened, then said, “I’m grateful nothing’s broken. We’ll be ready for him tonight. And thanks.”

Turning to the family, she gave orders. “The immediate needs are small bags of ice or bags of frozen peas or carrots. So, boys, check the downstairs freezer to see what we have. Jen, you and Doug go to the store for ice and ibuprofen. He’s in a lot of pain.”

She turned to Emily.  “You and I are going to turn this family room into a nice place to recover.” 

Jen grinned. “My sister’s in lieutenant mode again.”

“Is that another word for bossy?” asked Lisa.

“It’s a good kind of bossy. We get things done. And we do it together.”

Jen’s compliment gave Lisa a sweet moment. She glanced from one youngster to the next. All four smiling. Looking at her with love and expectation. Maybe she hadn’t done a lousy job with them after all.

But she hadn’t done it alone.  

Conscience pinched. Mike had wanted them to blend into one family. One ordinary family. They hadn’t done that…because of her. He’d never fully enjoyed his great success. Not because of Emily’s fears but because of Lisa. 

She hadn’t given him what he needed. Her fault!

They shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place. His fault!

Somehow, love wasn’t enough, and their broken marriage seemed to rest on her shoulders. So she’d given him his freedom. A chance at that good life he wanted. Parties in the Hamptons, friends in Nantucket. Adoring women everywhere. 

When the chips were down, however, he’d landed on her sofa like a homing pigeon. Her heart ached. Was it too late for regrets? 

#

Mike lay on the couch in the large family room the day after the game.  His job was to heal, and healing would take longer than he liked. But he believed the doc’s estimate was correct. Every inhaled breath was painful. Moving was painful. Coughing and sneezing were painful to a fault. Good thing Lisa hadn’t acquired a cat, a definite allergy for him.

After the Halloween party last Saturday night, he’d planned to romance her. Court her, as his dad would say. Make a new beginning. Slowly. A nice restaurant. Dancing. A museum. A café on Newbury Street. Or a stop at a trendy store. 

She’d responded to his kiss. He sensed a change, and that gave him hope.  

Then came the sack from Buffalo’s defense. And here he was, barely able to walk, let alone dance. Lisa’s phone call to his coach had been a welcome surprise. Her call to her school was another one. She was taking the week off, except for after-school practice with her debate team. The twins would be home by then, and Mike wouldn’t be alone.

Her choices amazed him. Totally unlike the Lisa he knew. Taking time off because of him was unheard of. She barely went to a Super Bowl because of missing work the day after, not to mention leaving Emily behind. 

But that was in the past. Lisa had certainly welcomed him back to the house and family for now, and being with everyone he loved was exactly where he wanted to be. And certainly more fun than he’d have alone in his condo. But it was difficult to romance Lisa while propped on a couch! Especially while breathing was painful. 

Emily walked toward him with a glass of water. “Lisa said to take the pain meds now. And then you can cough more easily.” Her brow wrinkled, and she bit her lip. “We don’t want you to get an infection.” 

“Thanks, sweetheart. Can you ask Lis what this is? I don’t want narcotics.”

“She made me a bet you’d say that!” She leaned closer. “Don’t worry, it’s not bad drugs.”

Laughing would help clear his lungs but hurt too much. He reached for the ibuprofen and downed them while Emily took out her violin. “Want me to play for you, Daddy Mike? Or do you want to go to sleep?”

Under the weather or not, the tears he blinked back then could have happened with Emily at any time. “You are the best child in the world, Em. I love you.”

She dimpled. “I know, and I’m going to play you something fun. I’ll save Mozart for upstairs.” Instantly, she picked up her instrument and filled the air with “My Favorite Things.” 

Perfect choice.

Lisa walked over when her sister had finished. “Great job, Emily. But right now Mike’s not going to do his favorite thing. Time to prevent pneumonia and get air moving in the lungs.” 

She turned to him.  “Come on, big boy. Let’s stand up. You’ve got to cough, laugh, or just breathe deeply.”

Easier said than done.  “No problem.” He stood, inhaled, and felt as though a knife sliced through him. 

“Lean on me.” In an instant, she held him around. “Bad, huh?’

He remained silent. Let’s lean on each other.  

“Oh, boy. Maybe we should use the recliner now. Better than a sofa. You’d sit taller, and I’ll give you a new bag of ice.”

“I think I’ll walk a bit. Go downstairs to the treadmill. Might be better for the lungs.”

Her eyes narrowed. “Treadmill? Are you nuts? That will lead to the strength training machines… You can’t rush this recuperation. I don’t care how badly the team needs you. I don’t care what the team doctors say. I’ve done my own research, and this injury takes time to heal. You breathe twelve to fourteen times a minute, and those injured ribs are forced to move. So if you dare,” she said, wagging her finger in his face, “just dare to do stupid things…”

His mouth claimed hers, cutting her off mid-sentence, his pain forced to the back of his mind. He exhaled only when she leaned in. 

“There’s no one like you, Lis,” he murmured. “From the first time you appeared at your front door… Now, my love, all I need to know is whether that door is still open?”

So much for a long courtship.

She remained in his arms as though she belonged there. Which she did. “We’re not the same people we were back then. Young? Yes. But certainly not innocent with the world for our asking. Sometimes, I guess love isn’t enough. I do know we can’t repeat the past.”

He kissed her again and gasped. 

“Ice! You need ice.” She shoved a bag of frozen peas at him, but then stroked his cheek and laughed. “I’m always in a tizzy with you.”

He gave his best shot at a smile. “I hope that’s good thing.”

“A fun thing,” she admitted. “But there’s also the serious part.” She began her usual pacing while he leaned against the kitchen table. 

“I’m listening.”

“After the Ponzi scheme hit the papers, and you visited me, I took out my journal. I was surprised how less often I’ve written in it. But that night, I did write in it and addressed my note to you.”

He stared, blinked, and cleared his throat. His nerves tingled. A good-bye letter? A goodluck letter? A tell-off letter?  “Do you want to share those thoughts, or don’t you think I’d want to hear them?”

“Neither of us has a choice if…if I understand what you’re saying, and you really want to…to try again. Maybe I communicate best by writing, and maybe that was part of our problem. But now…yes. We need to face the heart of the matter—together.”

“I agree. Everything on the table. And I’m betting we don’t need a referee.”

Her quick smile reassured him. “I hope not. But…but I’m a little nervous.”

He bit back his laughter and asked, “Not the intrepid Lisa Delaney?”

A shadow appeared, diminishing the gleam in her eyes. “It’s Brennan,” she whispered. “I’m Lisa Delaney-Brennan.”

Hope blossomed. “Yes, you are. It suits you well.” And me. “Why don’t you go get that notebook?” 

She glanced at the wall clock. “The twins will be home in a minute, and I’ve got to get ready to feed the masses. But don’t worry. We’ll have an empty house every day this week while the kids are in school. Time for us. Just you and me.” 

She wouldn’t renege, and her game smile melted his heart. “Imagine that,” he said. “Lisa and Mike all alone? Now, there’s a unique idea, and one that’ll work.

#

“Should we cut out this article, too?” On the floor of the family room that night, Andy Delaney’s face was a picture of concentration. Wrinkled nose, furrowed brow, pursed mouth, the young teen was clearly puzzled about saving “bad” newspaper stories for the scrapbook. And Mike had to admit, the coverage was pretty grim with photos of his sack and him on the ground. The story included the Riders’ future games and the question of Mike’s return to the field.

“What do you think we should do?” asked Mike.

Andy raised his head and looked his brother-in-law in the eye. “I think we have to,” he admitted slowly. “Because it’s the truth, and we’re keeping a record for you. It’s got to be real and have everything.”

“Give me five, kiddo,” replied Mike, raising his hand to slap Andy’s. “I like the way you think. You’re exactly right. You’ll be a good reporter.”

He received a cockeyed grin for his compliment before the boy picked up his scissors and began cutting. Footsteps down the stairs preceded Brian’s arrival.

“Here, Andy. I got it done.” He checked his watch. “In record time, too.” He handed some binder sheets to his brother, but his eyes were on Mike. “Feeling better?”

“Better will take time. Did you write a story for the school paper?”

“Nope. It’s our math homework.”

Our math homework?  “What the heck does that mean?”

Andy’s grin should have reassured him but fell short. “Don’t worry. Math’s easy for us. Brian does it tonight, and I’ll do it tomorrow. We’ve got the same teacher this year.”

What a scam. “And your sister knows nothing about this?”

Andy shrugged. “You know how it is sometimes. You can’t breathe around here without her knowing about it. But she doesn’t need to know everything.”

“Andy’s right,” said Brian. “I hate that she’s always talking about making Mom and Dad proud of us, and that we should always let her know what’s going on so she can make sure we did the right things.”

Mike had known it was only a matter of time before adolescent rebellion would hit the household. The twins were just about the right age when kids started giving their parents a few heart attacks. Whether Lisa deserved it or not was beside the point. But he sensed an underlying issue here. 

“Mike?”

“Yeah?” He had to wait a moment for Andy to form his question.

“Do you think,” he began, “that my mom and dad are proud of us anyway?”

An easy question, but if Lisa thought she had a handle on the twins…

“Andrew Sean Delaney—I don’t just think it, I know it! No question about it. Your parents would be very proud.” Mike motioned the boys over. “We need a man-talk right now. Just the three of us.”

He couldn’t remember the last time he tried to take over any serious parenting responsibilities. Certainly not since Lisa had dropped out of school the second time. She’d made it perfectly clear that because she was teaching again, she could handle being in full charge of her siblings. It was her job…except when she needed his backup. Problem was she didn’t know when she needed it. 

“Regarding the math homework,” he began, “there’s a big difference between doing what’s easy and doing what’s right. Around here, we do what’s right...”

And if the boys were quieter than usual that evening, he didn’t think Lisa noticed. Boys needed men in their lives, and he was glad the twins trusted him. Despite his injury and pain, he ended the day with a win. And a win in this case would reverberate for a lifetime. 

#

Darkness fell early, typical of a winter evening in New England. One by one the young Delaneys said good night and disappeared upstairs. Soon only table lamps illuminated the family room, creating soft shadows. Lisa stretched out on the sofa. Mike lay on the recliner. Neither fell into a deep sleep. 

When he groaned, she immediately brought more ice packs, ibuprofen, a fresh glass of water. He watched her care for him with tender hands and the patience of a caring nurse. Or a loving wife.

“Sorry to put you to so much trouble,” he said.

“You’ve been a model patient so far, Mike. I didn’t think you had it in you to be so…so patient.” She grinned. “Okay. Not very punny, but Em would have laughed.”

Nodding, he said, “I’m not an idiot. I want to get well as soon as possible. And Em still loves her ‘word jokes.’”

“So when the team doc comes around tomorrow,” Lisa continued slowly, “and says you need to be on the fifty-yard line this Sunday, that the Riders are counting on you, and the fans are going to be so-o-o disappointed…what are you going to say?”

He rolled his eyes. “You set me up for that, didn’t you?”

“I did. Because you know they’re going to tell you to ‘man up’ and all that nonsense.”

“Lisa, darling…that idiocy comes from irate fans, not my coach.”

“Really?” Genuine surprise mapped her face. And he wondered what other misconceptions she harbored.

“Oh. Okay then,” said Lisa. “You’ll do what’s right.”

The words echoed. Isn’t that what he’d told the boys? He inhaled and winced. “I’ve always tried to do that, Lis, especially with you.”  

In the silence that followed, Mike watched Lisa’s pursed lips and thoughtful expression slowly change. Her jaw set; her back straightened. She’d made some kind of decision. 

“I know you tried,” she said. “And I tried, too. I was just thinking…we’re all alone right now, and what can be more private than a conversation at midnight?”

Her notebook. She was talking about the letter she’d written to him.

“A perfect time. I’m not sleepy at all.” How could he be tired when his heartbeat galloped and his skin tingled? This was it. The chance to recapture the life he’d dreamed about when they were younger. “Go for it, Lisa. I’ll listen to every word.”  

She pulled over a chair and took his hands in hers, her slender fingers pressing his larger ones as though she either needed his strength or wanted his attention.

“I’ve been your friend since I was eighteen and loved you almost immediately. You and I were best friends…and inside”—her hand tapped her chest— “I still want to feel that way. I want you to be happy. But here’s the big thing—the thing I’m scared about.

“I know I’ve made a lot of mistakes, so if you can’t be happy with me, then please find the…the right person. And please, this time, have a marriage that’s fifty-fifty. Where you ask her opinions and she hears yours before you both make decisions. I…I always felt I had to shout to be heard, but was dragged along anyway.”

Tears began to roll down her face. He wanted to speak, but she said, “No. Hear me out.”

He nodded. 

“That’s the key. My parents had a great relationship. They were each other’s best friend. We had that once, Mike, in the beginning—the love, respect and trust. But…I…I think, because of all that happened, trust never had a chance to bloom. 

“And if we start again, you and I…our marriage…our relationship…has to come first. The sharing. The decision-making.  It…it’s taken me quite a while to figure that out.”

Of course the marriage had to come first. But his file cabinet of memories clicked through issues: children, house, Delaney money, stubbornness, not supporting his career. His and Lisa’s relationship seemed to come after everyone else’s needs. But—

He reached for a tissue and gently wiped her face. “Don’t be so hard on yourself, Lis. We were no ordinary couple and no ordinary family when we got married. Barely twenty-three years old with four children and a pile of grief. Come on, how could we have been prepared for all that came later? Our families tried to tell us, and I understand all that now, but back then…I thought I could handle everything, take the lead, and together make a happy home. With a happy wife.”

“I know. I know you wanted to lift me up and make my life easier. That was love talking.” She inhaled deeply, her fingers twisting together. “I want to ask you something important. It’s…it’s regarding the kids… Oh, Mike, did we do the right thing?”

A no-brainer for him, but not for Lisa. “Yes. In my opinion, yes. Look at them now. They know who they are, who they can count on. So, yes. We did the right thing.” Hopefully, he assuaged any lingering doubt she harbored.

“But it came at a cost to us,” she whispered. “And the truth was I sort of wanted them to go to my aunts. And maybe things would have been different.”

A double guilt trip. She was haunted by the reverberation of that big decision. 

“I was one hundred percent in favor of taking the kids. Let it go, Lisa. Your alternate universe wouldn’t have been carefree. The children would have lived right here with us in a shadow world, and been our main topic of worried conversation. We would have been affected anyway.”

Silence. A myriad of expressions flitted across her face. “Oh, my God. Mike…you’re right. They would have been constant companions. Phantoms. So I guess, in the end, we were between that proverbial rock and hard place. Each choice came with big negatives.”

He saw her pain, heard her pain, and wanted to wrap her in his arms but couldn’t. Breathing was an effort.  

“We’ve made mistakes along the way,” she said. “You and I.”

“Who doesn’t make mistakes?” 

Lisa slowly nodded. “I guess so, but here’s the upside.” When her gamine grin peeked out, he sighed with relief. “We know the best and worst of each other now.”

Chuckling, he agreed. “No bad surprises anymore.”

“Surprises? Oh…I almost forgot. Wait right there.”

He watched her race up the stairs and laughed, then winced. Where would he want to go? 

A minute later, she walked toward him, more slowly than when she’d left, her hands behind her back. “This is for you.” She handed him a long envelope. A legal-looking thing.

He turned it over in his hands, reading the return address. Woodhaven Family Court. Puzzled, he looked at her. “Have they contacted you?” 

“No-o. But I…I think it’s time we contacted them. The guardianship document needs to be amended.” Crying again, she gulped her words. “And that’s the biggest gift I can give you.”

Trust. Total trust. Without which a relationship was doomed.  

“I accept.” He opened his arms, and she was there. “Welcome home.”