SAM
I feel her shoulders shudder and bury my face in her hair. It tickles but I don’t care, ‘cause all I can feel is the desperate way she’s holding on to me, and the hot wet tears against my neck.
“Shit, Jen, don’t cry,” I whisper, pulling her even closer to me. “Don’t cry.”
She shakes her head a little and sniffs. I squeeze my own eyes shut, because I still feel the anger. I haven’t felt the pain yet, but there’s so much damn anger inside me I know if I did feel the pain, I’d probably be crying right along with her.
I sigh, and reach up and untangle her arms from my neck. I tuck her into my side instead kick the car door shut. I let us into the block, ride with her up the lift, and grab her keys from her coat pocket, all without letting her go.
She pulls herself from my side once we’re in, and she shrugs her coat off angrily. Her fingers swipe under her eyes, wiping away that wetness.
“We need to talk,” I say, pulling my coat off.
She storms into the front room. “There’s nothing to talk about,” she says wearily. “I can’t deal with your psycho bitch ex, and that’s it. All there is to it.”
“Nah, nah there isn’t. There’s a hell of a lot more to it than that, or you wouldn’t have just broken down into tears outside and clung to me like your life depended on it.”
“Bi – Sam… Just leave it, okay? Just go. I have nothing to say right now,” she whispers.
I chuck my coat on the table and storm towards her. “Yeah, well I do. I’m not done with this, babe, not by a long fucking shot, so we are gonna talk about this!”
She shakes her head and moves away from me, holding her hand up. “I said I’m done!”
“As long as I’m in love with you, we’ll never be done!”
She freezes, her head turning slightly. “What?”
I walk to her, stopping right behind her. I push her hair from the back of her neck with my hand, pushing it over her shoulder. “I said, I’m in love with you,” I repeat softly, my mouth close to her ear. I trail my fingertips down her arm until they reach her hand. “I don’t know why, and I don’t know when it happened. I just know that it did, and I hit every damn soppy bastard branch as I fell.”
“Not so much the bastard part,” she mutters. I smile a little, lacing my fingers between hers. I wrap our arms around her stomach, pulling her back right against me.
“Bastard or not, Jen, I love you. And that’s why I can’t let you go. I believe in us. I have ever since that night at Dad’s party. If I wanted you a year and a half ago, then I need you now.” I ghost my lips over her shoulder. “You were hurting before, and we all say stupid things we mean when we’re hurting, but please, please don’t walk away now. I don’t know if I can let you.”
“I don’t think I can fight her, Sam. I told you that.” She turns her face into mine a little.
“You don’t have to do anything. We’ll do it all together, ‘cause that’s what this is. It’s me and you, babe. Nothing more, nothing less. Just us.”
Her cheek rubs against mine, and I turn my head, pressing my lips against the smooth skin there. She wraps her other arm around herself, sliding her hand up my arm that’s stretched across her.
“I can’t believe you just told me you love me.”
“Yeah? Well I can’t believe you didn’t say it back,” I tease, nipping her ear.
Jen’s head turns to me, her bright blue eyes meeting mine. I put my forehead to hers.
“I love you,” she whispers. “I must need to visit the mental health centre, but I do.”
I tug her head back and kiss her, my lips firm against hers. She leans back a little, and my other arm holds her up. The kiss is soft, and even though it’s only been a day, I know I never, ever want to do that again.
Perhaps I need a little bit of that relationship superglue.
~
“What if it’s not that easy?” Jen traces circles on my hand with her fingertip. I sigh, resting my head against hers.
“I never said it would be easy, babe. I just promise it’ll be worth it. Every time we fight, every time she sticks her nose in, – because she will – every time you wanna pack it in, that’ll all be hard.” She tilts her head back, her still-sad blue eyes causing a pang in my chest. I run my thumb across her cheek softly. “But the laughs, the smiles, the moments like this, they’re what’ll make it worth it because they’re ours.”
Her head dips slightly, her eyes leaving mine. “What kind of moment is this? Because it just feels like a desperate grasp onto something that could slip away in seconds.”
I cup her chin, forcing her to look at me, and say in a soft voice, “It’s the kind of moment when I look into your eyes and know they’re the only eyes I wanna look in for the rest of my life.”
Her lips pull up in a small twitchy smile, and I pull her face towards mine, kissing her gently.
“Love makes you mushy,” she mutters. “I think I like it, but I also kinda don’t.”
“You don’t like my mushy side?” I grin crookedly.
“Well, sometimes. Sometimes I like your cocky side, sometimes I like your sexy side, but mostly I think I still want to knock you out with my frying pan.”
I laugh. “I’ll take a pass on the frying pan.”
“Really? I’m pretty sure the wok would do the job, then.”
“No knocking out, Jennifer.”
She grins, shifting so she’s straddling my lap. “How about when I’m mad at you? Can I do it then?”
I run my hands along her thighs to her back, my fingers settling on her spine. “Hell no. If you’re mad at me, you’re gonna go in the next room and calm the hell down, then you’ll get your ass back out here so we can talk it through. No more of this walking away or sleeping on it shit. This ain’t a secondary school relationship passing notes in class, this is the real thing where it’s me and you. Forever.”
She links her hands behind my neck, a smile on her face. The sadness is slowly leaving her eyes and the spark I love is replacing it.
“Forever is a long time. Think you can put up with me for that long?” she asks, dropping her forehead to mine.
“It won’t be easy, but I think I can suffer through it.”
She tugs on a lock of my hair. “Suffer? The only one that has to suffer here is me.”
“Oh yes.” I smile cockily. “It must be so hard for you to be with someone like me. You know, sexy hair, sexy body, sexy smile…”
“Sexy ass… Sexy personality… Sex God reincarnated…” she finishes, rolling her eyes. “Gosh, yes. How on Earth am I supposed to cope with all of that?”
“I can think of several ways.”
“I’m sure you can,” she says dryly, sitting back a little. “Aside from your undeniable sexiness…”
“What?”
“Saph said she banned her from Red. Or, she got Mick to.”
“She did.” I smile a little, remembering.
“Good. Can’t we ban her from London?”
“Unfortunately not, babe.” I run my hands up her back. “But we can ban her from us, and that’s all that matters.” She kisses me lightly. “Come stay with me tonight. I’ll take both you and Lexy to Uni before I go to work.”
“Okay,” she murmurs. “But only if I get to have the first go on the Wii.”
I smirk. “I guess I can deal with that.”
~