CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE
MILO
It was the search party from hell. Funny, hell had been the theme of the week, so it seemed almost perfect as we all started combing the grounds for Jayne.
I asked Jason why bother.
His one good eye narrowed in on me with ferocity.
“Chill, Cyclops, we’ll find Jean.” I laughed. “Hey, it’s almost like Jayne, that’s pretty funny.”
Jason wasn’t laughing.
He simply stared creepily with that one eye and stomped off toward the large oak trees in our backyard. What? Did he think she was swinging from the trees?
I laughed again. “Me Tarzan, you Jane.”
“You high?” Colton came up behind me. Solo. Thank God.
I turned and gave him the best smile I could—you know the smile, the one you hope is distracting enough to keep a guy from saying the one phrase you don’t want him to utter after a drunken night of stupidity.
“Hey, champ.” He laughed softly and wrapped his arm around me. “Are you okay?”
Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!
“Swell,” I croaked. “Don’t remember a thing.”
“You lost at cards.”
“You cheated!” I pushed against him.
“You made me take off my pants.”
“Only because you cheated.”
“I kissed you—hard.”
I shivered.
“Oh, and you puked.”
“Yeah, I know.”
“Yelled at me in the car.” He continued talking as if I needed an actual list of the shameful things I’d done. “Oh, and when we got home you tried crawling onto the roof and when I wouldn’t let you, you started yelling, ‘I’m Iron Man, bitch, suit up!’ ”
My face froze in horror. “Okay, I remember everything but that.”
“Probably for the best.” Colton nodded.
I was going to kill Max for not telling me I’d done that!
“Considering it didn’t happen.” Colton smirked. “Just paying you back for seeing me naked.”
“Please, like it was a chore for you to drop your pants,” I hissed. “What, did you sprain your pinky finger? Get your little boy caught in your zipper? Hmm?”
“Little?” His eyes narrowed. “You called me a freaking superhero!”
“Guys!” Max ran up to us, then dropped to the ground and picked up a few pieces of grass in his hand, letting them slowly fall from his fingertips. “Jayne’s been here. I’d bet my life on it.”
I sighed and gave him an irritated look. “You were kicked out of Boy Scouts.”
“I was too advanced for their curriculum.” Max stood and held his hand in the air, closing his eyes.
“What’s he doing?” Colton asked.
“Shh!” Max whispered. “I’m finding Jayne.”
“You look like you’re getting sworn into office,” I replied. “Put your hand down and go see if she took any cars.”
“Oh.” Max’s eyes blinked open. “Good call. I’ll just leave you two alone, unless you need a chaperone or something. Don’t want Colton dropping his pants again. And dude, for real, that’s not how you get chicks. That’s how you get a shiny new seat in prison next to a dude who looks like a lady but has the wrong parts—feel me?” Max walked off toward the front of the house where the cars were parked.
“I, uh—” Words died on my lips as Jenna sauntered toward us. Yes, she sauntered. I swear her hips were moving so far outside her body I wanted to scream.
“Colton!” She smiled brightly. I prayed her teeth would fall out within the next few hours. “I checked all the bedrooms and even found—uh-oh.”
“What?” Colton asked. “What did you find?”
“Look.” She pointed above us; I quickly turned around to find Jason at the bottom of one of the oak trees and Reid shimmying across one of the branches.
“I believe I can fly!” he sang. “I believe I can—shit!” He slipped off one of the branches and nearly fell to his death.
“Reid! Get down here!”
“I think about it every night and day!” He continued singing and then got choked up. “Spread my wings and fly away.”
“Guys!” Max ran up to us, all out of breath. “We may have a problem, I checked the cars and then went inside to double-check bedrooms and Reid’s room had an empty bottle of—oh, shit.”
“Hey, Max!” Reid waved. “Look! I’m a bird!”
“I was thinking more . . . plane.” I shrugged.
“No.” Colton nodded and then gave a solitary clap. “That, my friends, is Superman.”
“Reid! How many happy pills did you take?” Max shouted.
Reid held up three fingers and almost slid off the branch.
“Great. There went that plan!” Max stomped over to the tree. “Reid, shimmy your ass down here before I get a shotgun and shoot you out of the leaves.”
“But I want to fly down.”
“Then imagine you’re flying and drop.”
“Dude!” Jason smacked Max. “That’s like ten feet.”
“Then let’s hope he doesn’t break his drugged ass, besides, he’s high as a kite, he won’t feel a damn thing.”
Reid nodded and then slowly, actually quite gracefully, fell from the tree, landed on his feet, somersaulted, and jumped back to his feet, lifting his hands in victory above his head.
“Nine,” I said.
“Ten.” Colton held up his hands. “Perfect ten.”
“Eh, he struggled on sticking the landing. I’m going to say seven.” Jenna tilted her head to the side. “But he gets an extra point for flair.”
Jason groaned and started hitting the tree with his hand. “We have pictures in less than two hours!”
“Found her!” Mom shouted from the house. “She was in the attic!”
“The attic?” My eyes met Colton’s. Our attic? Our special place.
“No worries!” Mom waved. “She’s getting ready in one of the bathrooms. Pictures in ninety minutes, guys!”