I was hard as a rock. It had been a long time since I had wanted a woman this badly, but the moment she had leaned over and kissed me, I knew eventually we were going to both go up in flames.

Throwing my truck into park, I climbed out, hoping that she hadn’t grown chicken and driven on past. But there she was, climbing out of her parked car behind me and I felt the surge of relief at the sight.

On the way over, I’d texted Darren and told him to get the hell out of the apartment, not wanting any reason for her to back out. He had protested, but I had finally told him that he owed me from me doing the same for him. Now I had the place to myself for at least a few hours and I could not wait.

“Hey,” I said as she walked over looking a bit uncertain. “Welcome to Casa de Luke.”

“Nice,” she said approvingly. “It looks a bit like my apartment building, except taller,” she admitted as she glanced at the exterior of the building. “I wanted a house, but they are so expensive, and I just rent the apartment above where I work.”

“Yeah, it’s tough to buy right now,” I agreed, thinking of my measly bank account and not particularly liking the way this conversation was going. It was like the fire had been extinguished—replaced with polite small talk. Was she was having second thoughts? Or maybe she was just nervous… “Shall we go up?”

She nodded and I let her go up the stairs first to the second level. I was relieved not to see Darren sitting on the couch when I swung the door open. There was always the chance he’d ignored my request and stayed. But if he’d been there, I probably would have thrown him off of the balcony.

“I know it’s not fancy,” I started out and hurried to tidy a few stray items away. I was somewhat nervous about having a woman over to my place. I usually went to theirs instead. Much easy to sneak out in the middle of the night. But I guess it wasn’t just that. I was embarrassed that all I had to offer was four walls and a queen-sized bed in this life. That and I didn’t want them to remember where I lived; but with Cara, well, I didn’t care. I knew this wasn’t going to be the only time we were together. She’d be a drug that I wouldn’t be able to quit.

“It’s fine,” she said, looking at me with those come-hither eyes. “Small, but nice.”

We stood looking at each from across the room, with nothing in between us but the air we breathed. But then she nibbled at her lip and I couldn’t help but go to her, closing the distance in seconds. I grabbed her hand, and led her to my bedroom. She laughed as I pulled her through the door, glad that I had at least cleaned up my space earlier today. “This is my room,” I said hastily, my hands going around her waist.

“It’s nice as well,” she answered with a little giggle. She was so nervous and I couldn’t help but grin at the fact. We were quite a pair. Sitting on the bed, I pulled her down onto my lap. “Let’s talk.”

“Talk, really? About what?” she asked, hooking her arms around my neck, her fingers playing with my too-long hair.

I shrugged. “I don’t know, anything.” I wanted to take this slow, to have her feel comfortable around me. To show her I wasn’t that ass she’d met in the bar. “What do you do?”

She laughed huskily. “I am a psychologist.”

“Really?” I asked, surprised. Great, a woman who could mess with my mind and I wouldn’t even know it. But then it clicked… of course she was, that would make sense. I remembered Lucia mentioning them being partners.

“Yeah, marriage counseling for the most part. Lucia is my partner in crime.”

“That’s interesting,” I said, meaning it. Back long ago my parents tried to get me to go to a therapist and I found them stuffy and boring. Now if Cara had been my therapist, I might’ve been more open to spilling my guts.

“That it is,” she laughed again, her fingers drawing little circles on the back of my neck. “Never a dull moment that’s for sure. How did you get into construction?”

I sighed inwardly, not really wanting to talk about me. “Darren.”

“Who’s Darren?”

“My roommate and my partner in crime,” I said, feeling uneasy about discussing anything about my life. “He got me the job and let me rent this room.”

She looked at me, a thousand questions floating around in her eyes. “You aren’t going to tell me anything else are you?”

I placed my hands on her waist and motioned her to stand up. She did and I stood up, too. “Why don’t you get comfortable and I will get us some beer? Make yourself at home.”

Without another word, I walked out into the kitchen, taking a moment to place my hands on the counter, my breathing heavy. She was prying into my private life, a life I didn’t care to discuss with anyone, even if I had been the one to open the door with all that bullshit “let’s talk” crap.

It didn’t matter what I told her, it wasn’t going to be the truth. It couldn’t be the truth. It had become my dirty, little secret and I wasn’t in any position to share that information lest I wanted her to go screaming out of the apartment. No, I wasn’t going to tell anyone.

Frustration in my veins, I pulled two beers out of the fridge and walked back to the bedroom, my intention to get her naked so that I could bury myself between her thighs and forget about all of it for a while: my life, and my former life. There would be no more talk. I’d have her moaning instead.

I walked into my bedroom to find Cara standing near the bookcase that held all of my shit, an open yearbook in her hands. Fuck.

“What are you doing?” I asked roughly, setting down the beers on my dresser.

She turned the book around, her eyes flashing. “You lied to me? Who the hell are you?”

I looked at the picture of me on the mound, in my stance during the championship game in my junior year. I had thrown a fucking perfect game that day in front of numerous college scouts. But it wasn’t the picture that had her all in a tizzy, it was the first name under it. “That’s me.”

“I can see that,” she said, fury in her movements as she shoved the book toward me. “But that’s not your name. Mark? I’m sure Luke isn’t short for that name.”

I grabbed the yearbook and flung it to the floor. It landed with a thud on the thin carpet. “It’s not important. I’m Luke and that’s all you need to know.”

“The hell it is,” she said angrily, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’m not sure if I want to continue anything with a man who can’t even get his name right.”

Fury welled up inside and I stepped aside, all of the plans for what we were going to do flying right out of the window. “Fine. Then you’re welcome to go at any time.”

She stared at me for a moment and I winced as I saw a glimmer of tears in her eyes. Damn, I was letting her down—as well as ruining everything I’d managed to build up with her—but I wasn’t going to tell a fucking therapist my secrets.

God knows what would happen then. I didn’t even know her… much less could trust her with something so important. I liked her, but I wasn’t going down that road of making this anything remotely permanent.

“Fine,” she said, and grabbed her shoes that had fallen from her feet when I’d pulled her onto the bed. “I can’t sleep with someone who won’t be honest with me.”

I shrugged as if I didn’t give a shit and she stormed out of my room, down the hall and out the front door, slamming it hard behind her. It was then that I leaned against the doorframe of my room, some of the fight leaving me. She didn’t understand. No one understood what my life had been like before that day. Why the hell did it matter anyway? I couldn’t get that life back, no matter how hard I tried. Those days, those wonderful days where I was on the top of the fucking world, were over. And all that was left was this shell… and even then I still had to keep my fucking mouth shut about my best days, just in case it harmed my parents.

The doorbell rang and I pushed off the frame. A small spark of hope flared in my chest. Maybe she was going to tell me it didn’t matter who I was, that she was going to forget that she had ever seen that book and we could go back to teasing each other mercilessly. Throwing open the door, an apologetic grin died as I recognized the man standing in the doorway.

“Dad?”

“Marcus,” he said, a smile on his face. He obviously thought I’d been smiling at him. I replaced my look with a scowl.

He looked older than I remembered, his hair thinner on top of his head and a lot grayer. “God, it’s good to see you, son.”

All of my past feelings slammed into me with the full force of a speeding freight train. The anger I felt toward him and seeing him again, made me to take a step backward, for fear I’d hit him… and never stop.

“What the hell are you doing here?”

His smile withered away like a dying flower and he looked at me, imploring me with his eyes. “Mark, can I come in? We have to talk.”

“No. And that’s not my name anymore! You made sure of that. I’ve told you countless times to leave me the fuck alone.”

“Son,” he started before I slammed the door shut, locking it to let him know that I meant business.

I didn’t want to see him. I didn’t want to relive the past and how good it had been. He had been the reason my life had been turned upside down, the reason I was in this hellhole having to pretend I enjoyed this life I had been handed. I never wanted to see him again… the only person I remotely wanted to see I’d just sent running from my apartment.