Shit. What had I done?

I looked at Luke, feeling those old teen-age worries bubble to the surface, haunting me.

He looked as worried as I felt, a weird expression on his face before he turned back to cut off the water and grab the towels that were set out. “Here,” he said roughly, pushing one on me. “Let’s get dried off and then we can talk about this.”

I swallowed hard, taking the towel and wrapping it around myself, my hands trembling slightly. When was I going to learn my lesson? Yeah I was on the pill, but I was my own worst enemy when trying to remember to take them. And often I threw away more packs than I actually took.

Since I wasn’t having sex, it wasn’t a big deal. But now it was scary as hell. Luke rubbed at his skin roughly before securing the towel around his waist, hiding what I had enjoyed mere moments beforehand.

I stood awkwardly wondering what we should do until he sighed and walked out of the bathroom, his shoulders tense. I followed and found him sitting on my bed, patting the area next to him. “Come here, Cara. We don’t need to freak out about this okay?” I did as he asked and sat beside him, surprised when he wrapped an arm around my shoulders and drew me close. “Don’t worry. It’s going to be okay. I swear it.”

I hated that my eyes started to sting at the threat of tears that were due to appear at any moment. Maybe he didn’t think it was a big deal, but it was a big deal to me. In a moment of passion, I had potentially put myself right back to that day so long ago, the fear and anxiety of what was going to happen buried deep inside of me.

“How do you know that? You can’t guarantee anything of the sort.” I asked softly.

He hugged me close, his warmth seeping into my cold body. “Because I’m not the asshole from years ago, Cara. If, and that’s a small if, we actually did conceive a baby tonight, then I’m not leaving. I’m not abandoning you, no matter what we decide. It’s not the end of the world, I promise.”

His words flowed over me, not really sinking in at first. But as I digested them, running them over in my mind, it was strange to realize that I actually believed what he was saying for I doubted that he was the type not to say something and not mean it. But I’d fallen for that trap before hadn’t I?

Rubbing a hand over my face, I stood, forcing everything back into my little box for now. I was freaking out over something that may or may not have even happened. One step at a time. Only time would tell that and I couldn’t worry about it until that day happened. And in the meantime there was the morning-after pill, wasn’t there? For the tiniest maddening second the thought of taking that pill churned my stomach.

Gripping the towel around me and feeling a bit ashamed of my reaction, I looked at him, giving him a half grin. “I freaked out a bit there didn’t I?”

“A little, but it wasn’t all on you…” he said and leaned in to kiss my cheek.

“So, um, I’m going to get dressed and order some pizza. Sound good?”

His expression relaxed, no longer so serious and he nodded. “Sounds great, as long as there’s no pineapple on it.”

“I can’t promise that,” I said with a laugh.

My legs felt like rubber as I walked down the hall. My chest was tight, my cheeks flamed at how crazy I had reacted. I was an adult, a successful woman and no longer some kid who didn’t have two pennies to rub together.

If I did happen to get pregnant, I was strong enough now that I could deal with it. The position I was in now was nothing like I was in all those years ago. I was going to be just fine.

After locating the menu of my favorite pizza place, I called in an order and then skirted into the spare bedroom when I kept the majority of my clothes. Yanking open the drawers, I found a comfortable T-shirt and a pair of running shorts and slid them both on without any undergarments. Screw it. I wanted to be comfortable. Plus, I didn’t want to face Luke just yet. I needed a moment.

Taking a deep breath then letting it out slowly, I felt ready again. I found Luke standing in the kitchen, a beer in his hand. He was only wearing his jeans, slung low on his hips and my mouth watered unexpectedly as I took in his beautiful form. If I had to have a baby daddy, I had picked a good-looking one at least. I shook my head, my thoughts laughable. Who the hell compared guys as baby daddies at my age?

He turned and I gave him a smile. “Pizza should be here shortly.”

“Here,” he said, handing me a beer already opened. “Thought you might need this.”

I took it gratefully, taking a sip before clearing my throat. “Listen, I’m sorry about how I reacted back there. I-I guess today’s events kind of heightened my emotions a little.”

He leaned against the counter, looking far too comfortable in my kitchen. I could imagine us there, making a meal together with his grin warming me to my core every single time. It was a scary revelation.

“You don’t have to keep apologizing. You have nothing to be sorry about. It’s fine really. I didn’t take it personally. And I know coming face to face with the people raising your kid had to be difficult.”

I nodded, taking another swallow of my beer. I hadn’t expected to be confronted with his parents so soon or that we’d end up being best of friends or anything but I had been a little taken aback by his mother’s strong negative reaction to me. I understood, but I didn’t at the same time.

“He reached out to me, he wanted to see me,” I finally said, more determined than ever to have a relationship with my son now that I realized what he wanted. So if he wanted to continue to see me, I wasn’t going to stop him. “Not her.”

Luke nodded, draining his beer. “I think you should continue to come to the practices and games. It’s a neutral playing field. You’ll be able to see him, if he wants it. But the first time he tells me no Cara, I will have to honor that.”

“I can’t disagree with that,” I said. I didn’t want to make him uncomfortable by any means, but Luke was right. I would be there for James as long as he wanted me to be there. The last thing on my mind was to cause any trouble, but I was fascinated by my son. I couldn’t turn my back on him, not when he reached out.

Luke placed his bottle on the counter and closed the distance between us, framing my face with his hands. “Hey don’t worry about the other thing, too,” he said, searching my eyes with his. “We will work on it when it comes to that, okay?”

“Let’s not talk about it, okay? It’ll be fine, like you said,” I forced out, refusing to cry in front of him again. Luke in answer leaned forward and kissed me long and deep until I whimpered under his touch, all of those earlier crazy feelings bubbling to the surface once again. I wanted him all over again.

A phone vibrated somewhere close and Luke released me abruptly, reaching for his phone that had been lying on the counter. I touched my fingers to my lips, wondering how long we had before the pizza got there. I would like another round, next time with more protection.

The frown on his face caught me off guard and he brushed past me, grabbing his shirt that was still in the hallway before searching the bedroom for his shoes. “Where are you going?” I asked, surprised.

He didn’t look up, shoving a hand through his hair as his eyes were glued to the phone. “What? Um, sorry, I have to go.”

“What?” I asked, thinking that a second round was on the cards. “Luke, what the fuck?”

He looked up and I saw a flat emotion on his face, none of the earlier warmth or desire was present. “Sorry, I have to go.”

“Whatever,” I said, tucking my hair behind my ears in a nervous gesture. He gave me a look, his eyebrow raised then walked out, shutting the door softly behind him. I stood there for a moment, unsure of what had just happened. One moment I was feeling all these crazy emotions for him and the next, well, I wanted to snap his head off.

What had been on that phone to make him run like that? Why was I still dealing with two different Lukes?

The doorbell sounded and I hurried to the door. Maybe he had changed his mind. Maybe he was about to apologize for his weird behavior.

Flinging open the door, my smile faded as I saw the pizza guy holding the two pizzas I had ordered.

“Oh. Hold on, let me get my money,” I said dully, turning to find my purse. My hopes had been dashed again, the fucking bastard.