PIPER FOCUSED ON GIDEON’S mouth. His lips were moving, but she couldn’t process his words. They were all so strange.

“Sweetheart? Piper?”

She let go of Gideon’s hand and stood. The room was too small. She needed to walk, to get out of here. She paced from the living room into her studio and stared out the windows. Usually she kept the blinds drawn and curtains closed, but the girls had opened them to let natural light in while they were working. Now she stood basking in the sun, her head buzzing.

Every year or year and a half, the videos resurfaced. There was always some newcomer to the scene that just found out. Each time the old wounds ached, and she struggled with the desire to run and hide and shut out the world. Life wasn’t fair, but she knew that.

She closed her eyes and pushed the anguish back into its place. This wasn’t the first time she’d handled this and it wouldn’t be the last. For as long as she lived someone would trot her nightmare out for their amusement.

The world was a different place now. That was the one difference. There were laws in place that protected her and gave women in her position more rights. She hadn’t let Carl get away with what he’d done, and whoever these assholes were that thought they had Gideon over a barrel because of her would rue the day they poked the bear.

“Piper, I’m so sorry.”

She turned.

Gideon’s face was lined with worry, and his eyes were bloodshot. It was a face she knew well. He’d been her companion through the worst of it, and he took her pain personally.

“We’re going to make them sorry they thought this was a good idea.” Piper pushed her shoulders back and straightened her spine.

She wasn’t the same woman she’d been back then.

Piper grabbed a notepad and pen off her desk then breezed past Gideon into the main room of her apartment.

“What has Lola said?” she asked.

“Are you okay?” Gideon followed her, hovering just within arm’s reach.

“I’m numb. I used to think why is this happening again? Why me? This stuff happens because someone thinks it’s okay, and it’s not. So, they’re going to get an expensive lesson. What does Lola say?”

Gideon stared at her for a moment longer.

“Give me this.” Kobe took the notepad and pen from her. He sat at the table and scribbled a few things.

“The initial threat was vague sent by someone my clients claim was an employee they’ve let go. The other threats have come through anonymous emails. Right now, my clients are claiming they aren’t liable or involved since they quote, fired their employee.”

“You don’t believe that?” She braced a hand on the back of a dining chair.

“No. This whole thing is a bunch of rich trust fund kids wanting to do something cool. They had a slick marketing guy who got me on board and then left. I can understand why.” Gideon grimaced.

“Okay, so one friend is a loose cannon and the others are trying to not get shit on them.” Piper nodded.

“Lola says the best thing to do right now is to go to the police, make a record of the threats. She and Fernando will put together some scary sounding documents. Together that will lay the foundation of a case against them.”

“That case doesn’t help me though. If they’ve found the videos, they’re going to share them. There’s limited liability doing that.” Piper pulled out a chair and sat. She’d paid out the ass to three different companies that specialized in scrubbing content from search engines and sites that would continue to store the videos illegally. All that did was make the content harder to find, not impossible.

Gideon sat next to her while Kobe continued to watch them.

“What do you want to do? Tell me what I can do ...” Gideon placed his hand over hers.

“You can’t make this go away. The best thing for you to do is not let them get away with threatening your business. I need to go to the police.”

She wouldn’t enjoy this. Cops were better about these sorts of threats now than they used to be, but it would never be an easy thing to go through. There were the questions, the stares, the insinuations it was her fault.

“Kobe?”

“Hm?”

“May I ask...”

“I was wondering when you would.” He put the pen down and smiled at her. “You want to know how I handle my on-camera life versus off-camera?”

“Yeah.” It was the one topic she’d never broached with him. Now, she needed that guidance.

“Well, the biggest difference for me is that I chose this, you didn’t. What happened to you was a violation of your privacy. For me, getting into adult entertainment was...exploring who I wanted to be. I was gay before I knew I was gay and taking parts that allowed me to try that out without committing to it helped me identify who I am. It’s not for everyone. It wasn’t even the best way to go about it. Hell, there are people I work with I don’t think belong there, but that’s their business. Sometimes I think my brother became a therapist to better understand me.”

“Can you guys leave? I just—I need to be by myself for a little bit.”

“You sure that’s what you want?” Kobe asked, his tone gentle.

“Piper—”

“Yes, I really would like to be alone right now.”

“Can I have a hug?” Kobe pushed to his feet.

“Of course.”

She stood and Kobe embraced her in an almost too tight squeeze.

“You need anything, just call. I know my brother wouldn’t mind if I called him for you.”

“I’ve got this.” Piper meant it, too.

Kobe saw himself out of the apartment while Gideon made no move to leave the chair.

“Gideon, please don’t make me ask you again?”

He reached for her hand.

She took a step back.

“Piper...”

“I need to do this on my own. Please?”

“What are you going to do?”

“I want to be alone.”

“I’m going to sit in the parking lot, in case you change your mind.”

“Please don’t do that.” She swallowed. Her resolve was a bit shaky.

“Whatever you’re going to do, please, let me stay?” He took her hand, his gaze pleading with her.

“I need to do this on my own.”

“Piper...” His gaze roved over her face.

She loved that face, his scruff, the slightly messy state of his hair, how good he looked without trying. That didn’t begin to touch on the man under it all. She’d wondered if a week of separation would lessen her attachment. It hadn’t. She was beginning to think that she would always love Gideon. The idea didn’t thrill her. It was another weight she’d never be free of.

Piper bit her cheek. She knew he wanted to be there for her, that he meant this gesture as a kindness, but she couldn’t rely on him. Not anymore. Losing him once had devastated her, and that was before she’d come to terms with her feelings for him. This time, it would be worse.

“I know you want the best for me but right now, what I need is to be alone.” It was as though someone wiser than her was operating her mouth.

“Please, Piper. Please, I...I just this whole week, I’ve—”

“This isn’t about you.” She had to hold onto the past, remind herself that despite all the sweet, thoughtful things Gideon could do, that wasn’t always the version of him she got.

“I love you. I want to help.” He took another step closer.

She stared at him, running those words through her head, turning them this way and that.

There was a time, long since past, when she wanted to hear those words, but not now. His love was a burden. She couldn’t wait around for him, and she couldn’t put herself through the misery of wanting him but not being his priority.

“Get out,” she said.

“But—”

“I’m not going to ask you again, Gideon. Get out. You don’t get to tell me you love me and then disappear on me for another year. You don’t get to twist me around and leave me. Get out.”

Gideon stared at her for a moment longer. His features were slack. He couldn’t save her. Her friends couldn’t help her. She had to do it on her own.

He turned without a word and walked toward the door.

He’d said he loved her. If that was true why did he always leave? She’d thought that what she’d wanted most was for him to love her back, but emotions weren’t enough. Maybe it would have satisfied her before, but not anymore.

She was stronger than anything the world could throw at her. She was healing, and it was time she gave up her crutch. Gideon would always hold a special place in her heart, but he couldn’t have it. She’d felt the crush of his leaving before, and she wouldn’t let that destroy her.

The apartment door closed behind him leaving her in silence. She sucked in a deep breath then crossed the apartment to lock herself inside.

First, she’d have a little cry. She wasn’t too strong for that. Then she was going to watch the videos Carl had made. She hadn’t watched them since she was forced to as part of the trial. They were these horrible, violating nightmares that had power over her. Not anymore. She was taking it all back.

GIDEON STOOD AT THE bottom of the stairs and stared up at Piper’s door.

What the hell just happened?

He’d told her he loved her, and she got angry.

Maybe what he needed to do was go back up there. Wait her out.

He shook his head at the idea. There was no idea worse or more selfish. He’d brought this down on her, he could damn well do what she asked and give her space even if it wasn’t what he wanted.

“You okay, man?” Kobe ambled over from his car.

Gideon didn’t reply. He couldn’t make his mouth work.

“I know you might not want to hear this right now—”

“You’re right. I don’t.” Gideon turned and strode toward his Jeep.

“Give her time,” Kobe called out.

Gideon climbed into his Jeep and started it up. He didn’t want to sit around staring at Piper’s door with a guy she’d pretended to date, just like she’d pretended with him.

He sat behind the wheel of the Jeep, clenching the gear shift, and sucked down several deep breaths. Being angry didn’t give him license to drive like a dick. Instead he spent a few minutes staring blankly at the dash.

When he’d come over, he’d had these ideas. Piper would answer the door. They’d catch up about her trip, he’d tell her about the lawsuit and threats, and they’d take it from there. He knew he wanted to tell her upfront where his feelings were going. She might not be ready for more than whatever they were doing, but when she was, he wanted her to know he was waiting. This time he wouldn’t bail.

Maybe it was too late. He could have done more damage trying to protect her than he meant. He hadn’t seen that then, but he could now. All Gideon ever wanted to do was what was best for Piper, and along the way he’d fucked up.

He shifted into reverse and eased out of the lot and onto the street. Without a destination in mind, he turned toward the coast and went. No thought, no consideration for the rest of the stuff on his list, he simply drove.

If he could go back in time and tell himself to stay in Piper’s life, how would things have gone differently?

After that Christmas he’d known something would happen if he didn’t put distance between them. The Piper then and the Piper now were two different women. Back then she’d bandaged herself together, pasted on a smile and persevered. Today, she was flourishing. Yes, being without her safety net of girls might leave her anxious in social settings, but he was willing to bet she’d be past that in no time at all.

The fuel light flickered on, reminding him of the things he had to do in life. He turned into the next station and went through the motions.

How was he going to fix things with Piper? Did he need to do anything? Was the answer to sit back and let her deal with things on her own?

Back in the day he wouldn’t have left. He’d have stayed. Then again, before now she’d never asked him to leave. It was a marker of how they’d both grown and changed over the years.

Gideon’s phone vibrated in the cup holder as he climbed back inside the vehicle. He tapped the notifications. He couldn’t turn the damn thing off. If Piper or Lola called, he had to be available. Instead of the messages he wanted to see, a couple mass invite texts to the weekend’s kick off parties awaited him.

This smattering of invites weren’t from anyone he really knew, except for one name.

Larisa was part of a new wave of public relations agents cropping up in L.A. The only reason Gideon knew her name was because of who she represented. Larisa had worked a minor miracle in remaking a particular, infamous voice actor after his sexual harassment sentence had been carried out and the guy wanted to return to work. She worked with people like Adam, the on-line personality and pro-gamer who had abused a number of women in his sphere of influence, including Tamara. Larisa also represented Carl, who was still kicking around L.A., though he’d never recovered his former glory following his jail time.

Gideon had never attended Larisa’s party, and he doubted she’d vetted the list of invites beyond a simple glance. He’d met her at some event a few years ago and traded numbers, because that was what happened at L.A. parties, networking.

He tapped the address before he could think better of it.

During the hour or so it took Gideon to reach the house hosting Larisa’s party he still had no valid reason for why he was going. He parked where there was space and walked toward a house as big as Piper’s apartment building.

No one lived here. Houses like this were rentals for TV shows, adult movies, parties, vacation rentals and for hiding mistresses. Women in shorts and plaid shirts tied under their breasts waited at the doors with platters of beer mugs in hand. The banner over the door had the words The Men’s Network.

Gideon grit his teeth and took a mug.

A few stands hawking some new cable channel were lit in bright colors.

He wandered through to the main part of the house where food no one would touch sat being admired. A few groups clustered in corners, another around the bar. The party wasn’t quite underway yet, judging by the relatively small number of people there.

Gideon sipped the beer. It was good for a hand out beer. He didn’t see anyone he could pin a name on, but then again this wasn’t his circle. The people here were into TV and what appeared to be craft beer.

“Gideon?”

He turned and blinked at the vaguely familiar woman staring back at him. He’d met her, knew her face, but her name escaped his memory. Unlike the miles of skin ladies offering beer, she was dressed in a knee length pencil skirt and tailored blouse. Businesslike and modest by comparison.

“Hi.” He wiped his hand on his jeans then held it out to her.

“Ellie. I’m Piper’s friend, I work with Tamara and Josh. We haven’t officially met. I was at her place the other day when you brought flowers.” She held out her hand, her bright smile at odds with her wide eyes.

“Right.” The pieces clicked together. She’d been casual then, her hair up.

“Not that you can’t be here—but what are you doing here?” Ellie glanced over her shoulder.

“I was invited.” He shrugged.

“Okay, I’m not going to beat around the bush here.” Ellie took another step toward him and lowered her voice. “I assume you know who is also at this party. And I have to wonder—why aren’t you at Piper’s right now?”

“He’s here?” Gideon knew Carl was a client and that he stood half a chance of running into him if the stars aligned. Gideon had wanted to punch Carl since the day they met.

“This is my first day with my new boss—”

“I thought you said you worked for Josh?” Gideon took another drink of the beer. It was growing on him.

“I work for five different people or groups. Why are you here?” Ellie wasn’t giving up.

“Piper didn’t want me around.”

“She—what? What’s going on?” Ellie frowned.

“Someone dug up the video.”

Judging by Ellie’s wince, he didn’t have to elaborate.

“Yeah.” Gideon grimaced. “It’s my fault—”

“What the hell are you doing here, Mackenzie?”

Gideon clenched his teeth.

It’d been several years since he’d seen Carl in person. Gideon didn’t tolerate the dick crowd and Carl was still one of their darlings.

Time hadn’t been kind to Carl. He’d put on weight, his hair was thinner, his frown etched in deep lines. Gideon hadn’t seen Carl this close since the trial. His nose was crooked and one cheekbone wasn’t as prominent as the other, courtesy of a differing of opinions while serving his time.

This was the man who’d inspired nerd rage in enough people that they’d warped one woman’s entire life. Gideon had harbored so much anger and resentment toward Carl, but looking at him now, he couldn’t see a point in being here. Carl had made his choices, and by doing so revealed his true character. The difference between him and Piper was that she was stronger because of what had happened to her. Carl was worse than the pathetic, petty man he’d been back then. He would never attain the level of success he might have before he pissed all over his career. The reputable companies wouldn’t risk the potential HR disaster when yet another sexual harassment complaint was lodged. Carl was stuck living on crumbs at the fringe of the world he’d wanted to rule.

“Nothing. I’m leaving.” Gideon glanced around for a flat surface to put the beer. Coming here was a mistake.

“Going back to my scraps?” Carl’s words were cold and bitter.

Gideon squeezed the handle on the stein.

“Go,” Ellie muttered.

“Hey—I’m talking to you.” Carl grabbed Gideon’s arm and yanked, sloshing beer on both of them.

Gideon twisted his arm at the same time Carl swung his. Time seemed to slow. Gideon saw the fist coming, but couldn’t reconcile the idea of pudgy, pathetic Carl being a threat fast enough to move. His knuckles connected with Gideon’s jaw and he stumbled back, dropping the stein in the process.

Carl launched himself at Gideon. Gideon grabbed Carl by the shirt and batted away the other man’s hands, holding him at arm’s length. Carl flung his arms out, grasping at Gideon. When that didn’t work he kicked.

This was ridiculous.

Gideon hauled back and rammed his fist into Carl’s jaw. His feet flew out from under him and he landed in the middle of the beer and glass mess, eyes rolling back into his head.

“God damn it.” Ellie stepped between them, her hand on his chest. “He deserved that, but you?”

Onlookers gaped, some had phones up, but no one stepped in to do anything.

“Go down the hall and out through the side door. Wait for me there, do you understand? Do not leave and do not drive yourself,” Ellie said.

Gideon nodded.

People moved out of his way.

Coming here was a mistake, a moment of weakness, and he’d gone and fucked things up.

Gideon hadn’t made it to the side door before he heard the click of heels on the hardwood floor behind him. He glanced over his shoulder at Ellie, purse and keys in hand.

“I can drive myself,” he said.

“You reek of beer. Larisa is taking care of Carl. I’m getting you out of here, come on.” Ellie breezed past him and out into the sunny California afternoon.

“Are they going to call the cops?” Gideon’s brother was an officer in a sleepy town. He knew that even though Carl had gone after him, Gideon was still liable if Carl got hurt.

“No. Carl isn’t supposed to be here. He’s technically violating his latest probation.” Ellie clicked the fob and a Min Cooper chirruped in response. “In. Now.”

“Are you always this bossy?”

“I’m a take charge kind of girl. If you want to call that bossy, then yeah, I guess I’m bossy.” She tossed her purse into the car and sat. “In.”

Gideon sank into the car, all of his bad decisions coming to rest on his shoulders. What else could he fuck up today?