Lucy

 

Ryder fucking Donahue. He wasn’t the same as when I left him, that’s for sure. Oh, he was still gorgeous. With that beautiful blond hair he kept running his hand through, and that laugh. He may have been laughing at me, but the sound of his chuckle send chills through me. He had aged a bit and added some deliciously sexy scruff, but his eyes had become empty. He used to have a sparkle in those green eyes. That sparkle was gone, and there was nothing left but a bitter, emotionless man, who clearly wanted to punish me for my past choices. Were they mistakes? Maybe. The way he talked to me, though, like an employee, stung. I didn’t want it to, and I thought it wouldn’t. I thought I was braver than that, that I’d moved on, but seeing him look at me with disdain caused my heart to shrivel. An entire year of this. That’s what I’d signed up for. It was heartbreaking to see him, and my heart was going to break every day for a year.

 

Jacob had placed my things in a bedroom that was across the hall from Ryder’s master suite. At least he didn’t expect me to sleep in his bed with him. I don’t think I could have handled that. I stared at myself in the mirror of my en suite bathroom, brushing my hair. My eyes had become glassy and red from fighting back the tears. I wasn’t sure if they were angry tears or sad tears; perhaps both. As I put on fresh makeup, styled my hair, and freshened up, I gave myself a pep talk. My goals were still being met; I was already going to dinner with a rich and powerful man and his business colleagues. That is what I wanted. I reminded myself that it was just business, as I stepped into the black shift dress that I’d packed for myself.

 

I heard a light knock on the bedroom door before he entered cautiously. “Lucy? Are you just about ready?”  he called out from the doorway.

 

“Yes, I’m in here. I just need a moment, and perhaps your help?” I wasn’t able to zip my dress up in the back. Poor planning on my part, but too late to do anything about. Besides, if we were going to be roommates, which is how I’d decided to position our arrangement in my head, I was going to need help sometimes.

 

As I stepped out of the bathroom, I sucked in my breath when I saw him. He was wearing a beautifully tailored suit, and a sly smile. He had left his blond stubble which, coupled with the conservative suit, was incredibly sexy.

 

“What can I do for you Lucy?” he asked, smiling softly at me. In that moment, he wasn’t the man that almost brought me to tears earlier.

 

“I… uh… need help with my zipper, please?” I stepped toward him, my heart rate picking up in anticipation of his touch.

 

“Of course,” he said as I turned around, sweeping my long hair away from my back. His fingertips gently touched my hip and he slowly zipped the back of my dress with his other hand, lingering at the top. “You look beautiful,” he whispered before pulling away.

 

Shifting my weight nervously, I turned back around, staring at the ground before meeting his eyes. “Thank you,” I whispered, unsure of how to feel.

 

“Lucy,” he sighed, nervously running his hand through his hair again.

 

“Yes?”

 

“This doesn’t have to be awful, okay? We have a past. It happened. We’ll deal with it. I need you to be my girlfriend right now, and it would be much easier if we had an understanding - contract aside.” He furrowed his brows in concern.

 

“What do you mean, Ryder?” I wanted to accept the olive branch he was extending, but the apprehension over pecking order and his implied need of my subservience ate at the back of my mind.

 

“I mean, let’s call a truce. We have a contract. It is what it is. Your companionship is important to me and my business, or I wouldn’t have contacted Infidelity in the first place, okay? We both know what happened after high school, but that was a long time ago, and for this to be a convincing arrangement, we need to move on. Can you do that?” His tone was almost pleading.

 

“I can do that, but can I ask you for one favor? A personal favor?” I asked.

 

“Yes, whatever you want.” He didn’t question me.

 

“Please introduce me as Lucinda. Nobody calls me Lucy, except you. It’s important to me.” Lucy didn’t exist anymore, or she hadn’t, until he came back into my life. Lucy wasn’t for everyone else; she was the old me, the private me, that I wasn’t willing to share. Lucinda was who I wanted to be known as.

 

“That’s fair. You can be Lucinda to everyone else. But you’ll always be Lucy to me,” the corner of his lips curling into a half smile.

 

I smiled a genuine, appreciative smile. His Lucy. I hadn’t been his Lucy in so long, and yet it suddenly felt like yesterday. The summers we spent at the shore together, walking on the boardwalk, holding hands. I thought back to the times that we skipped school on Friday afternoons to go to the beach. It didn’t have to be summer for us to do that. Even in the winter, we’d bundle up, and head to the beach with not a care in the world.

 

My mother never cared - she was too drunk most of the time - so I never got into trouble for it. But Ryder’s parents used to get so angry when they would find out that we’d bailed on the last half of the day and taken off. He used to get grounded, but would sneak out and throw sticks at my window until I’d meet him outside on my porch.

 

He held his arm out to me, stirring me from my thoughts. “Shall we go, Miss Quinn? We have reservations.”

 

“Oh yes, of course,” I smiled, taking his arm with my hand and following him out.

 

On the way to the restaurant, I realized that I had never resigned from my waitressing job. My cell phone started to vibrate incessantly when I finally pulled it out to see who was calling; I took note of four missed calls, and no fewer than five text messages.

 

“Shit,” I muttered under my breath.

 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, sitting next to me in the back seat of the sedan.

 

“I… uh… I had a job. And I was supposed to be there tonight. In the flurry of today’s news and activity, I neglected to let them know I would not be there.”

 

“What job would you need to be at this time of night?” He seemed annoyed.

 

“I’ve been working a second job, as a… uh… cocktail waitress,” I admitted, feeling beneath him.

 

“I’ll take care of it,” he said.

 

“You’ll what?”

 

“I’ll take care of it. Let me know the name of the place, and I’ll handle it. You certainly don’t need that job, and I need you free in the evenings anyway. But I can see that you’re worried about how that would look, just walking away, so I’ll handle it,” he replied matter-of-factly.

 

“What will you do?”

 

“Not to worry.” He took my hand and squeezed it gently before turning his gaze out the window.

 

“Ryder?”

 

“Yes, Lucy?” He turned his attention back to me fully, meeting my eyes.

 

“Why do I need a bodyguard? I mean, I get you don’t want me driving around town or whatever, and this is lovely to be driven everywhere, but you said that Jacob was also my bodyguard. What does that mean?”

 

Inhaling deeply, he scanned my face. “Lucy, in my business, I sometimes work with, or for, some people that could be considered… let’s say nefarious. Now, what I do is all behind the scenes technology stuff, but you are mine. And I do not want anyone I deal with thinking or believing otherwise. You need to be protected like any other valuable. It’s just a precaution. Do you understand?”

 

“Do you think that someone would hurt me?” I was nervous and confused.

 

Sensing my concern, or perhaps my confusion, he took my hand in his again and turned his body toward mine. As I looked up at him through my lashes, I felt vulnerable, and yet protected as well. “I assure you, Lucy, that no one - and I mean no one - will ever hurt you. This is merely a safeguard that gives me peace of mind when you cannot be with me.” He furrowed his brow, looking for my understanding.

 

“So I don’t need to be worried?” I asked one more time, for reassurance.

 

“No, you definitely don’t need to be worried,” he replied, gently squeezing my hand, and moving it to his lap, where he kept it the remainder of the ride.