Lucy

 

I didn’t have anything even remotely appropriate to wear for a gala. I could get by as a socialite to a degree, but not to that degree.

 

“Lucy, I don’t understand what’s wrong. I need someone to attend things like this with me. That was the whole point of all of this.” Ryder waved his hands dramatically between us.

 

“You’re right, you’re right, I’m sorry,” I said.

 

“No, no. Don’t do that. Tell me what’s wrong, so I can fix it,” he said softly. I rolled my eyes. That was always his way. ‘Let me fix it for you.’

 

“I don’t need you to fix anything, Ryder. It’s fine. I just didn’t know, and this is all new. Hell, I’m supposed to be at work right now, bringing cocktails to people like you. Yeah, that’s who I am now. I’m a fucking waitress, okay?” I was mad, hissing the words at him as if it were his fault. It wasn’t. It was my fault. My inability to launch my career faster was the fucking problem.

 

The problem was that I had spent most of the five thousand dollars I was given for my interview to pay my bills and get ahead. Rent in Manhattan wasn’t cheap, and for the apartment I was living in, I was barely scraping by. I still had student loans I was paying off, and I used that money to get ahead on living expenses. I knew that I had money coming to me from Infidelity, but I didn’t have my first installment yet, and now I needed to buy something appropriate for a gala. With my apparently filthy rich ex-boyfriend.

 

“What is going on with you, Lucy?” he demanded angrily before calming himself and asking again kindly. “Please tell me what is going on, Lucy,” he said calmly.

 

Feeling like a complete and utter failure, I sighed heavily. “I don’t have a dress to wear to a gala. I can’t afford one, okay?” I hung my head, feeling ashamed at my status.

 

Chuckling, he grabbed his drink. “Are you serious? That’s what you’re upset about? A fucking dress? Oh my God ,Lucy. You’re hysterical.” He continued laughing, which was both confusing and infuriating.

 

“How is this funny to you?” I snapped at him in a hushed tone.

 

“Lucy. A dress is the silliest thing in the world to be upset over. I’ll buy you a fucking dress. I’ll buy you ten dresses. Did you not listen when they went over the contract with you?”

 

I snarled my lip at him. I did listen, but clearly I’d missed something. “Of course I did,” I replied, as if I had a clue what he was talking about.

 

“Oh okay, so that’s why you’re upset. Because you knew that it was my responsibility to outfit you, and provide whatever you needed to maintain the relationship. That includes fancy dresses for galas, you realize,” he mocked me.

 

I did not realize that at all. In retrospect, I probably should have, and was feeling pretty stupid in that moment. “I guess I didn’t think that counted?” I replied quietly, as if it were a question.

 

“Well, it does. I’ll have Jacob take you shopping and you can get whatever you need, okay?”

 

“Jacob doesn’t have to go with me,” I mumbled.

 

“Jacob will take you shopping; that’s not negotiable,” he said sternly. He was very adamant about Jacob going everywhere with me. That would take some getting used to.

 

“Okay,” I acquiesced.

 

Our food had arrived by that time, and as we sat staring at each other, not touching it, I couldn’t believe the situation I’d found myself in. Ryder wasn’t the guy I remembered from high school. Sure he was popular back then, we both were. But he’d turned his love for computers into an amazing business for himself. He was clearly well-connected, and rich beyond my own comprehension. I felt completely inadequate. Like a fool. My confession unveiled the fact that I clearly had gone to Infidelity because of money, and that wasn’t even really the case. But it didn’t matter. I felt less than, and it stung.

 

“Eat. Then we’ll get out of here and get you settled, okay?” He pointed his fork at me, scanning me intently.

 

Nodding, I picked up my fork and attempted to eat the beautifully-plated food in front of me. To anyone who didn’t feel the way I did - the people sitting around us, engaging in polite conversation, enjoying each other’s company - the food was likely magnificent. Everything tasted like sand to me, and my heart was heavy. I’d made such poor choices in my attempt for success, and it landed me in the lap of my high school sweetheart, who was paying me for my companionship, and outfitting me to boot. How humiliating.

 

We spent the rest of dinner not talking much, other than Ryder explaining what the gala was, who would be there, and why it was an important function for his business. It turned out that his biggest client threw the event every year, and it was the ‘must be seen at’ event. I couldn’t understand for the life of me why he would need to hire someone to escort him to such things, when he very obviously had the connections, and most definitely the dashing good looks to find his own dates. The gala was a charity event for the children’s hospital downtown, and every year there was an auction, and a theme associated with the party. Funds raised from the table sales went to the hospital. It was a “Who’s who” in the city, and anyone who was anyone would be there.

 

When I heard that, I perked up a bit. That event would be where I’d finally start making some connections of my own. It was the perfect opportunity to network with society and make a name for myself. Who cares if that name was as the girlfriend of Ryder Donahue? It would be my chance for a new beginning, and the reason I’d landed myself in this precarious situation in the first place.

 

The reconnection we’d begun to establish on the way to dinner had faded, and in the car on the way home, Ryder spent the entire time on his phone checking emails while I stared at the lights of the city out the window. When we arrived at his building, he slid his phone in his pocket and led me back to his place through the private elevator.

 

“Are you alright, Lucy?” He stopped in the foyer, grabbing my wrist to stop me from walking back to my room.

 

Turning around slowly, my lips crawled into a forced smile. “Of course I am. It’s been a long and strange day though, wouldn’t you say? I’m just tired,” I replied, looking down at where he was still grasping my arm.

 

Realizing that he had a rather tight hold on me, he let go quickly. “Yes, it has been a long day indeed. Do you need anything before I settle in for the night?” he asked me cautiously.

 

“No, not at all. I have what I need, and I made a list of things for the movers to bring me from my apartment. But I think I’ll go there myself tomorrow, and pick up a few things.”

 

“That’s fine, but Jacob will be joining you. Understood?” Ryder looked sternly at me, meeting my glare.

 

“Yes, dad. Understood,” I replied sarcastically.

 

“Lucy!” He rose his voice. “This is not negotiable, and lest you forget, I am in charge here. Your petulance won’t be tolerated. We’re not kids anymore, and we have a contract. If you cannot abide by my rules, you’ll either be punished… or…” he trailed off.

 

“Punished?” I asked. What kind of punishment could he possibly administer in this circumstance? Not buy me things? I’ve gone without before.

 

“Don’t cross me, Lucy. I am giving you leeway that I’d not let anyone else have because we have a past. A past that I had all but forgotten until today. I’m not the same guy you left behind, and I won’t tolerate insubordination when it comes to my rules. Do you understand me?” He had stepped within two feet of me, his commanding presence overwhelming me. As I watched the fire in his eyes, I knew to take him seriously, and not to escalate this further, even if I wanted to have a good old-fashioned pissing match over who was going to get their way. Something in me told me to go to my room, and abide by the rules that I was learning quickly.

 

“I understand, Mr. Donahue,” I said quietly, lowering my head to avoid his intent glare.

 

“Good. Tomorrow I have client meetings most of the day. Maybel will be here in the morning to cook you breakfast and to clean; she’s my housekeeper. If there is anything you need stocked in the fridge, let her know, and she will take care of it. If you need to go anywhere, you must have Jacob take you. I don’t know when I’ll be home, but I already put my number in your phone if you need me for an emergency or anything. Please do not call me at work unless it’s important. Are we clear?” he said, without any kindness in his voice.

 

“Yes, we are clear,” I said with as little sarcasm as I could muster.

 

“Goodnight, Lucy,” he said as he loosened his tie, and walked away to his office on the other side of the condo.

 

I stood in place, watching him walk away until he shut the office door behind him, at which point I scurried to my room so he couldn’t see my tears fall. I managed to hold them off just long enough to change into yoga pants and a tank top before I curled my legs into my chest and sobbed quietly on the huge bed. Unable to maintain my composure, I wept for the mistakes I’d made the last six years. Leaving him wasn’t a mistake - that was evident by the way he behaved - but thinking that I could conquer the city on my own, that seemed like a mistake of epic proportions.

 

I was doomed to spend the next year a prisoner of his. I thought it’s what I wanted, but as I broke down, dripping tears all over the luxurious sheets on my bed, I regretted everything. I regretted my dream of being close to the rich and famous. I regretted that I didn’t become a writer like I always wanted. I regretted that the passions I thought I was pursuing came at the price of my dignity, which was in the hands of a man I thought I knew.