Ryder

 

Sitting in the car with her, holding her hand, brought so many memories back. I wanted to be angry with her, I wanted to make her feel bad, and yet all I could do was try to reassure her that she’d be safe with me. I thought about all the times that we’d spent holding hands; there were too many to recall. We had always been affectionate. I was connected to her in some way all the time when we were together, whether it be my hand placed gently on the small of her back, holding hands as we walked down the boardwalk in the summer, or with my arm around her just about anyplace we ever were together.

 

I never stopped caring about Lucy, and that had become painfully obvious in the few short hours that we were reunited. I wanted to touch her again, to smell the sweetness of her perfume. My mouth watered when I zipped up her dress, giving me access to what was once mine. Even though I barely touched her, the electricity that I always felt between us had rekindled, and my plan fell apart immediately. Not ready to let go, I kept her hand in mine after I’d reassured her that I’d keep her safe. Her touch was comforting in a way I had forgotten I needed.

 

Lucy’s safety was my number one priority. I’d had no credible threats, but there had recently been an issue with someone I was pursuing as a client. While not always appreciated out of the gate, I usually got new clients by hacking into their systems, and then introducing myself by way of showing them what I’d done. In most situations, the businesses and corporations were so grateful that I didn’t do anything heinous with the information I’d stolen, they’d hire me on the spot for whatever price I asked for. It was an unconventional, almost blackmail, approach to gain clients, however it worked. And I never threatened to do anything with the information I stole, ever.

 

About a month ago though, I had happened upon a pharmaceutical distributor and did my usual hack job, then reached out to their leadership like I normally would. They threatened me for stealing their data, which has happened before, however they didn’t threaten to call the authorities, which was well within their right to do. The threats were against me directly, and were far more outside the law in their implication. Now, I returned their data, as I always do, but their reaction left a bad taste in my mouth, and I had decided to become more careful and aware of my surroundings just in case. I had plenty of money to cover security, and there was no reason not to have it, especially for her.

 

“Who are we having dinner with?” she asked me, still holding my hand.

 

“No one. It’ll just be us tonight,” I replied, eliciting a small smile from her, which was enough for me to feel another slight pang of the old feelings creeping up again.

 

She didn’t need to know that I had made these dinner plans previously, and had arranged for a table for two when the new restaurant opened. I was a ‘see and be seen’ kind of guy in this town, and it was important for me to be at openings, and all the things I had mentioned when I hired a companion. Outside of the fact I needed to show up to the restaurant, I had wanted to spend some time getting to know whomever the companion was, before I’d known it was Lucy.

 

Having Lucy be my fake girlfriend was already creating cloudy judgement. So many mixed feelings about the past, coupled with her stunning fucking beauty, and then topped by her compliance with this ridiculous arrangement. I wondered if she’d gotten herself in trouble, and if that’s why she became an employee of Infidelity. Anxiously, I ran my other hand through my hair as I often did when I was feeling tense. An entire year. I felt like I was already losing my cool.

 

When we arrived at the restaurant, our hands slipped apart, creating even more mixed emotions for me. The turmoil I was generating in my own head conceived just enough self-doubt that began to question whether or not I could go through with this arrangement any further. For years, I’d been a rock. I’d trained my psyche to focus on work, on my future, on the next hack. Now, I was a walking cyclone of feelings I couldn’t label.

 

I must have been visibly uncomfortable, lost in my own thoughts, because after we’d ordered drinks, Lucy placed her hands on the table in front of her and leaned in, catching my attention.

 

“Are you okay?” she asked me. Loaded question, really. I was most certainly not okay, and as I tugged at the knot on my tie, she looked even more quizzically at me.

 

“Yes, of course, why do you ask?” I lied.

 

“Because you’ve run your hand through your hair about forty-two times since we arrived, and that’s basically your tell,” she smirked.

 

“My tell?” Fuck. I forgot that she actually knew me. She knew my quirks.

 

“Oh, come on. If we’re going to spend the next year together, pretending to be in a relationship, you may as well come clean. What’s got your panties in a twist?” she said brazenly.

 

“My panties in a twist?” I repeated.

 

“Yeah,” she said petulantly, egging me on.

 

Taking everything within me to gain my composure, I turned the tables back on her. “I’ll have you know that, one - my panties aren’t in a twist. I’ve had a long day, and in case you hadn’t noticed, this relationship we are in? It’s supposed to look real. So perhaps you should start acting like it.” I knew I was acting like a dick, but it was the only way to get my head back on straight.

 

As I suspected it would, her body language indicated her irritation and disappointment in my reply. Her shoulders dropped, and she leaned back, shaking her head. It looked like we were having a lover’s quarrel at dinner and we hadn’t even placed our order yet.

 

“Honestly Ryder, it would be much easier if you could put your differences aside and just be nice to me,” she huffed.

 

“Put my differences aside?” I was definitely repeating everything she said in a sad attempt to think of something quippy to say, which mostly just sounded douchey.

 

“Yes, your differences. Neither of us expected this, but you could have backed out. Are you just going to spend the entire year fucking with me and making me behave in public? Is that what I can expect from our arrangement?”

 

Our drinks arrived before I had a chance to reply, and as I watched her pretend that everything was fine and place her dinner order, I was reminded again of why I was always so drawn to her. She was able to carry on a delightful conversation with our server as if we weren’t having a disagreement. She exuded poise and class. And, she was fucking beautiful. 

 

Shortly after, a colleague of mine walked over to our table.

 

“Donahue! How are you?” he announced boisterously enough that the tables nearby all turned their heads.

 

“Waters, great to see you.” I stood and shook his hand, clapping him on the back. He was a shorter man, much shorter than me, with graying hair at his temples. He was also the CEO of a book publishing company that shall remain nameless, that I hacked last year. Waters immediately hired me to reconfigure his entire security infrastructure and design a new system for manuscript submission to avoid pirates, and other stolen intellectual property. I was paid quite handsomely for that job.

 

“I somehow knew you’d be at the hottest new restaurant in the city. And I see you’ve brought the loveliest woman in Manhattan with you this evening.” Turning his attention to Lucy, he stuck his hand out to her. “I’m Geoffrey Waters, CEO of… well, that doesn’t matter. Who are you?”

 

Not giving her an opportunity to reply, I jumped back in. “This is my girlfriend, Luc-- Lucinda.”

 

Shooting her a ‘please go with it’ look, she smiled and took Geoffrey’s hand politely. “It’s lovely to meet you, Mr. Waters.”

 

“Oh, the pleasure is certainly all mine,” he said as his hand lingered on hers. Heat began to rush through my face as I watched him ogle her.

 

She laughed politely, pulling her hand away. That’s my girl. Well, not technically. But she was once, and she was supposed to be pretending to be, so that counted.

 

“I had no idea you had a girlfriend, Donahue. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you anywhere with the same woman. You’re like Bruce Wayne.” He chuckled loudly at his own joke. All I could think of was, if I had Batman’s tool belt, I’d find something on it to make this guy go away.

 

“Well, we were off for a while, but we’re back on now. Happy as ever,” Lucy replied sweetly, reaching across the table for my hand. “Isn’t that right, babe?”

 

Fuck yes. “It sure is,” I smiled back at her, beaming. She was always smart as a whip, and she definitely read my mind on that one.

 

“Well, I’ll let you two lovebirds get to your dinner. It was great to see you, Donahue. You’re a killer at what you do.” He shook my hand.

 

“My pleasure, Geoffrey. Let me know if you make any system changes and I’ll take a look at them for you. In the meantime, I’ll see you at the gala in two weeks.”

 

“Right, you sure will. Lovely to meet you, Lucinda. I hope to see you there as well,” he smiled.

 

“I expect that you will,” she smiled charmingly at him again as he took leave of our table, finally.

 

“A gala?” She turned her attention to me and barked the words.

 

“Yeah, so what?” I replied, having no clue what she was annoyed about.

 

“When were you going to tell me?”

 

“Uh, I just did?” I replied, still not understanding her frustration.

 

“That’s just great,” she replied, sighing.