Lowell

My truck screeches when I pull into their driveway, and I cut the engine before even coming to a complete stop.

Racing out of the car, I nervously tuck my keys into the pocket of my jeans and try to figure out what to say. I don’t know how the entire day got away from me, or it didn’t occur to me I was missing something.

But as soon as I realized I was, I felt so sick to my stomach. I know how much I care about Kimberly, and I don’t know how I could have missed this. I try to imagine how she will feel and what kind of emotions a five-year-old has. I remember mine, but I always assumed it was because they were all so bad.

My knock is heavy on the door, followed by ringing the doorbell. It’s after nine, and I didn’t even suspect they might be here. Footsteps I don’t recognize follow shortly after, followed by the door swinging open so fast I feel the gush of air on my face.

“Hi…” I stare at a face I don’t recognize, similar to Charlotte’s, only harder around the eyes. The woman is taller too, her brown hair straightened.

“Who the hell are you?” she asks after Charlotte comes around the corner. Her scowl is one I guessed she would have, maybe not coupled with how beautiful she looks in her brown dress, her hair down and curly as always.

“It’s fine, Catherine.”

They share a look I’m not clued in on. Then the Catherine person looks back to me.

“You’re lucky I was leaving, anyway. See you tomorrow.” She turns back to Charlotte, then slyly hits me with her shoulder on her way out.

“My sister,” Charlotte explains, then stands in the doorway as if to block me out.

“Charlotte I… I’m so fucking sorry. Can I talk to Kimberly?” I ask, stepping forward as she closes the door a little bit. It’s not that I don’t care about what she has to say, I am more anxious to see Kimberly. The last thing I ever wanted to do was disappoint her, especially after feeling like I already have the past five years. Maybe out of my control, but I have to take responsibility now.

“She’s asleep.” Charlotte blinks too many times, so I know she is lying.

“Please, I… the day got away from me, and I forgot. I want to make it up to her.” I swallow hard, my feet are too heavy even to move closer, but I manage it. She doesn’t pull back, and her cherry blossom scent floods my brain, my body calling to her like never before. When her eyes meet mine, I’m almost frozen in her deep chestnut pools as I try to find some give in them.

“Just for a bit. But only because I don’t want her to think you don’t care about her.”

“Of course, I do.” I follow her inside. She shuts the door, locks it, and I stand in the foyer until she passes me.

“Charlotte, I feel really bad about the whole thing…”

“Lowell, I didn’t even want her to go in the first place. So first, thanks for going behind my back.” She stands at the landing of the staircase turning around to face me.

I stop so close my chest touches her crossed arms, and she looks up at me with the most perturbed expression. I find it hard to place what she is really angry about.

“Well, at the time, I wanted to be the cool dad. I didn’t know today would be so hectic, and I would forget. It’s not like I’m used to this, you know? Having to think about someone other than myself or my fucking press schedule. I never wanted to disappoint her, Charlotte. I’m sorry.” I reach out on instinct and touch her shoulders.

She doesn’t move away but hardens her expression at me.

“Lowell, that isn’t all it’s about. I get that things happen. I was the same way in the beginning. All I care about is Kimberly, that’s it. I never want her to feel hurt, especially not by one of her parents. I’ll never forget the look on her face when she asked for you, and I never wanted to disappoint her that way.”

Tension floods my shoulders. I harden my jaw and turn my face away. Because I didn’t see how Kimberly looked, but I see how Charlotte looks now, and I never wanted to see that either. We weren’t serious enough back then for this possibility to even come about, but now it has, and I don’t know how to deal with it. Forget any relationship with Charlotte before, I haven’t ever had one like this. I buried myself in sports and my career, and it’s the same thing that happened today. One person in my ear, Donnie in the other. For the past month, I’ve set reminders for stuff with Kimberly, picking her up from school, having dinner together, and I thought I would know enough not to forget something like this, but I got too swept up in the day. Too easily. All I want to do is make it right.

“I’m so sorry, Charlotte. It’s all I can say right now, and all I can do is try to make it right if you’ll let me. I hate that I hurt you, too, Char.” I lean in closer a bit until she leans closer, her neck arching up to me.

I lean down more to kiss her softly, the surface of her lips against mine, her warmth and softness. I hug her against me with my hands around her waist and hold her close feeling the planes of her body match mine. Her lips part enough for me to slip through. I taste her for a sweet moment before she pulls away. With her forehead on mine, she exhales before pulling back, the gloss in her eyes replaced by brightness.

“I’m too weak around you, Lowell.”

I smirk a bit. “I could say the same. I hope to run out of ways to hurt you sooner rather than later, though.”

“I don’t think you ever will. Neither will I.” She sighs. Completely separating from me, she runs her hands down to clasp over mine and then draws them back. She nods toward the stairs, and I follow her up.

“I let her stay up late to try to cheer her up. She’s watching a movie.”

I follow Charlotte to their media room hearing the sounds of an animated film before we get there. I peek in the door and see her in the huge chair—way too small for it. I can barely see her head peeking out of the blanket with her curls wild in a bun on top of her head.

“I have a video of the performance,” Charlotte whispers. “I’m going to shower.” She walks off down the landing in the direction of her bedroom downstairs glancing over her shoulder at me before she disappears in the curve of the staircase.

I take a deep breath like I’m nervous or something before I go in. Honestly, I haven’t had this feeling since the first few times I spoke with her.

“Hey, Keeks. It’s me.” I walk inside and around to the front of her chair. Her mouth twitches with a smile, but it doesn’t come. She only cranes her head to see, and I move out of the way sitting beside her in the next seat.

“I didn’t forget who you are, Daddy.”

I chuckle, but I don’t think she meant it as a joke, and it’s more of a nervous laugh anyway. She turns back to the television, and I don’t know if she’s a good faker at such a young age or she is too engrossed in the film. I recognize it from previews, the new Incredibles. I was only five years older than her when the first one was released. It took them an incredibly long time for this one to come out.

I sit with her and watch it for a while, enough for my eyes to start drooping before it’s over.

“I’m so sorry, Keeks. I wanted to be there so badly, but I got so busy, I forgot. I thought it was a different day.”

“You forgot what day it was?” She stands up on the chair, but her eyes become level with mine.

“Mommy does that sometimes.” She lets out a dramatic sigh, her orange nightgown is bright even in the dark room.

“I’m sorry, I’ll make it up to you.”

“I… I wanted you to see it,” she mutters, her lip trembling as her big eyes stare into mine.

“I did, too.” I reach out and pinch her chubby cheek, and she giggles a bit under her breath.

“You’re new at this. I guess I can forgive you.”

I grin because she’s so endearing. “But I’ll still make it up to you, anything you want to do.”

“Anything?” She bounces forward and almost falls. I catch her and set her in my lap instead.

Pulling back, she stares me down, and I’m not sure I even want to agree, her imagination is as wild as I can imagine.

“Yeah… of course.” I smooth her hair back. She moves on my lap to sit on her knees, my one thigh big enough to hold most of her. I already know she’ll be as tiny as her mom.

“I want to go to one of your football games. Mommy keeps saying I can’t because we would distract you.”

I chuckle. “It wouldn’t be a distraction. But you know your mom doesn’t like me going behind her back.”

“Well, we can ask her first this time, but you said anything,” she pouts. I’ve already lost.

“I’ll get you both tickets for the game tomorrow.”

She giggles. “Not regular tickets, Daddy. I want to sit with the coach and players. With the headphones.”

I pretend not to gape. “There are a lot of regulations on the field, Keeks.”

“But other kids do it.”

I laugh. “Yeah, Make A Wish kids. They’re dying.” I finish laughing.

“But I thought you were important.”

“Not enough to break the rules.” I sigh at the droop in her face. “I’ll see what I can do, but I can’t make any promises. Do you have a second choice?”

She shrugs and smiles at me. I grin with relief after thinking she wouldn’t smile at me for a long time.

“No, I don’t want to give you too many choices. I only have one thing I want.”

“Or else?” I tickle her ribs, and she tries not to cackle too much.

“I won’t tell you.”

“Fair enough.”

I let her stay up a little while longer until she falls asleep on her own, and I carry her to bed. Before I even think about it, I bring myself down to Charlotte’s bedroom. I peek in the door seeing her small frame in bed but knowing she isn’t asleep. I knock, and she turns toward me. I walk inside and smile at her.

“Kimberly is asleep. We’ve made up.”

“That’s good.”

“With a promise to let her come to the game and sit in the players’ den to watch tomorrow.” That makes her sit up fully. Half distracted by her horrid expression and the other half by her thin silk nightgown and pert nipples poking through, I guess from the cold before I walked in.

“Lowell…”

“Come on, it’s all she wants. And it’s not dangerous. Well, unless a running back goes way into the red zone, but the chances of that happening are very slim.” I grin at her. The lamp on her nightstand is the only thing that lights up the room and sets her hued skin into a glow.

“That’s the same thing I would have thought about us. Now…”

“Now?” I arch my brow as I start working at my clothes.

“What are you doing?” Her voice squeaks, but her eyes dart over my now bare chest, my half-erect cock tenting at my boxers.

“Getting ready for bed. You didn’t answer me. Now?” I finish, fully naked as I climb in bed and lay over her, tugging the sheets out of the way.

Her eyes widen, biting her lips. She looks up at me through her lashes, and when her hands press against my body, I’m about ready to melt into her.

“Now we’re way into the red zone.”

My lips can’t get enough of Charlotte as I kiss down her neck and shoulders, the cherry blossom scent of her perfume and lotion swirling my brain, taking my thoughts. My hands follow suit down the soft planes of her body. After not being able to get her clothes off fast enough, I can finally touch her the way I want to. The way I need to.

Every time I am with her builds on the last time. Even though we haven’t yet talked the way we need to, I know so much about her, and I know how she makes me feel. I don’t know why we haven’t talked, but any time we’re alone, we skip over that conversation or focus on something else. I don’t want to do that anymore, but I’m not sure I’m ready for the alternative either.

“So beautiful… so perfect,” I whisper. She writhes underneath me when my mouth reaches her sex, so dripping and needy. I inhale the depth of her arousal, and it makes my cock even harder as if it’s possible.

I kiss over her sodden folds and throbbing clit, feeling it jolt against me the same time she does. Her fleshy thighs trap my head between her legs, the sting of her nails dig into my scalp as she holds me close. I grip her thighs and hold her in place even more as I devour her. I want all of her, so much so I go crazy. Her stifled moans vibrate through her body as she holds them at bay. I’ve got to get her to my place so she can be as loud as she wants.

“Lowell… Lowell…” She tries to tug me away when I draw her first orgasm out, but I stay put and suckle her to another one soon after. I slip two fingers inside her to feel her throb around me.

When I’ve finally had my fill, I trail my hands and lips back up her body. I kiss her softly to feel her lips, and so she can taste herself on me before she deepens the kiss and wraps her thighs around my waist. I reach down and grip my cock, hard and dripping for her. She arches her hips toward me. I press against her, and she lets out a soft mewl under her breath. With her lips at my ear, I feel every break in her breath as I sink inside of her so easily with little resistance because she is so wet.

My groan is deep when I am fully inside her, feeling the snap of desire in my spine when I feel her pulse on the tip of my cock. I slide my hands up her skin, her waist and back moist until I reach her swollen breasts and hard nipples. I pinch them, and she gasps and tightens around me more if that’s possible. I relish the feel of her for a moment, and then my palms slide back down over her belly. She wiggles, having already tried to hide whatever parts of her body she doesn’t like, but I ignore her. I think she’s fucking perfect. She doesn’t have to look the same way she did five years ago for me to say that.

“Oh God, Lowell,” she whispers so low I almost don’t hear her when I pull out to thrust back inside her again. I always have to be very careful, somehow catching myself in a fit of desire not to let the headboard slam the wall. I hold her up by her hips as I let myself go.

With her arms around my shoulders, she hangs onto me so tightly she almost raises off the bed as I drive into her.

As I continue thrusting and get closer to the edge, she erupts into another near silent orgasm. I watch her eyes roll back in her head as her full lips go slack. I kiss her hard and deep, my tongue swirling with hers so hard my jaw feels it, and our teeth clash together. I’m right on the edge, so close I feel it in my bones, taste it with her, but I pull out and turn her over. Pausing only to bend and kiss the softness of her round ass before her chest sinks down on the bed, so I have better access, and I’m inside her again.

She clutches the sheets using them to muffle her face into the pillow as I drive into her, pulling her hips back for the extra I can’t give. I grunt under my breath at the same time she quivers. I reach a blinding end coming inside her and pumping through the last of it at the same time she comes again.

She falls slack on the bed, and I follow her, our slick bodies sliding together as I roll her over onto my chest. We kiss like we are barely trying but need to as we relax and calm down, our heartbeats no longer erratic.

“I’m guessing I can’t stay the night?” I say after a while. She might even be half asleep from the way she lays against me.

But she sits up and looks at me, the brown in her eyes gone in the dark, but the way her hair is so curly and messy makes me smile.

“Not yet, I…”

“Don’t want Kimberly to be confused. I know. Don’t you think she already knows about us?” I arch my brow. She smirks but not much.

“No, she would have asked. Trust me.”

“So, when then? When will this be serious?” I ask, my voice lacks the conviction I would have wanted, though.

“I don’t know, Lowell.” She sighs, the guard she has up is so clear in her eyes. I don’t even want to press the question.

“I am sorry about today.”

“It’s not about that…”

“I know, but I am, especially about Kimberly. It’s hard knowing… I don’t know, that people count on me.” I chuckle once but not because it’s funny. The concept isn’t new to me, though, but only with Lily, I never felt like there was a different way.

“It is. But you get used to it. You get some free passes.” She giggles.

“Some?”

She nods.

“Fair enough.”

I kiss her forehead.

“Come to the game tomorrow?”

She starts to deny, and I stop her.

“Kimberly is already coming. You want her down in the pit by herself?”

She gapes. “But I thought there were rules against that.”

“Sure. But I’m the quarterback, number one in the league, too. I can do whatever I want, and I owe Kimberly. So just come, please?”

“But—” I press my finger to her lips. She grins at me and shakes her head once.

“Fine. I’ll go.”