Lowell

Five years later…

“I thought you’d grown out of this, Keeks.” I grin down at her, with her big, pleading brown eyes and pouting face. She still does it as well at ten, if not better, since she has better control over her facial expressions. At least she doesn’t do the foot shake and dramatic whining anymore.

“Why would I not want to see you play anymore?”

“I don’t mean that. I mean sitting on the sidelines. Special treatment.” I cross my arms, sit next to her on the living room couch where she has held me prisoner until I agree to her request.

“I should always get special treatment. I’m your daughter.”

I laugh then. “You’re too old. Not as easy to sneak you in.”

She sighs giving up quicker than I expected. Kimberly has grown up in all aspects—she even seems a little older than her age sometimes. Charlotte and I did a good job, at least I think so. At this point, I was gone for half her life, so it feels like I have been playing catch-up for the past five years. But I haven’t missed anything since, not even in the busy football seasons since the first time we met, which sometimes feels like yesterday. Days like today, when all of us are together, I imagine what it would have been like before.

“Okay, compromise.” I get more wistful looking at her disappointed face too long. Kimberly isn’t spoiled, not really. But she is an only child, so it’s easy to dote on her more than we should. Kimberly notices, obviously, and plays on it every chance she gets. Sometimes it works, other times it doesn’t.

Today, though, I’m focused on playing the biggest game of my life. The fourth time should be the charm. For the past four years, one game from the Super Bowl, and we’ve lost. Here we are this year having made it by one point from a final Hail Mary pass Jacob and I pulled off in the last twenty seconds of the game. For the life of me, I couldn’t explain why we hadn’t done it the other times—shitty plays, sports politics—who knows. But this is my last game, for real, so I have to win. Otherwise, I might be the worst quarterback in history with the worst luck too—in football, at least. Everything else is perfect. I have an amazing wife and daughter, who is basically her twin but doesn’t scold me as much.

“You can watch in the sky room with your mom like a normal person. And then Brenda will bring you down in the fourth quarter to rush the field.”

“But if you lose, why will I do that?”

I laugh, half insulted but not at all shocked. “To cheer me up.” I nudge her ribs where she is still ticklish. And she is still very smallish as I suspected. She has a special piano bench she uses, and when she dances, they always put her in the front, which she hates because, according to her, it means she has to work twice as hard to be good. In my opinion, I think it’s great for her work ethic.

“Ugh. Fine. What about after?”

“Well, the party at Uncle Jacob’s house is still going on. Whether or not we lose will determine how fun it is.”

“Okay.” She sighs, uncrossing her legs to hop off the couch. We’re lucky to have a home game for the Super Bowl this year, the entire city is on standby for the game, pretty much. Charlotte spent the morning getting ready and is already at the stadium setting up by the press box for her pre-game interviews. After, she’ll meet everyone in the sky room to watch the game. She stopped doing the press events for a while, shortly after it became public we were together and have a daughter. The interviews would always turn back to her and me.

Last year she started up again doing them here and there while her salon takes off.

She expanded her salon like she always wanted to—new clients, new specialties —I don’t know all the details. I know she is happy with it, and that’s all that matters.

“Cheer up, Keeks. You can’t always get your way.” I tickle her again until her frown turns into a smile, and she laughs. I tug her close to hug her tightly, and she hugs me back, her orange blossom fragrance wafts my way. It is still her favorite color, so she hasn’t outgrown that. My team shirt she wears is still so big she swims in it, but she dressed it up nicely with her frilly black skirt. Her Aunt Catherine got her ready since I have to leave soon. She’s in the kitchen with her boyfriend waiting on me to leave. Kimberly likes to be with me before I leave, or all the time, really. She takes ‘daddy’s little girl’ to a whole new level, and I don’t mind it at all.

“Okay, okay.” She pounds my shoulder with laughs, and I stop tickling her. I stand up and take her hand.

“Come on. I’ve gotta go, so I’m not late.”

“I hope you win, Daddy.”

“Me, too.” I smile down at her.

Charlotte’s house is the same way it was five years ago. I chose, or was convinced, to move in here when we got to that point so Kimberly wouldn’t have to move. But Charlotte didn’t have to tell me much after she told me she had this house built with the intention of Kimberly growing up in it. So, it was a no-brainer. I didn’t need anything big or flashy. I slowly stopped doing all the ads and commercials once Donnie was out of my life because I never really needed them. Anything I have now is residual, and I’m still a Nike athlete, so I do branding for them.

Football was always meant to be temporary. Charlotte and I talked about it a lot, and I never knew when I was ready to stop until this season started. Super Bowl or not, I was ready to go. It would have been hard to become a teacher like I always wanted if I kept up the highly public life, but I didn’t. I’ve always loved history so much I majored in it, and always wanted to be a teacher. It was Lily who showed me that anyway, about how I want to educate and be someone anyone could look up to, even if it were only in school. I won’t do it right away, but it is the next step.

“Hey, Blake,” Steve, Catherine’s boyfriend, greets me first. I honestly never liked the guy. But it was easy for me to be protective of Catherine. I mean she is my sister-in-law after all, and she does feel like a sister to me. Being a therapist and all, she is easy to talk to when Lily weighs heavily on my mind sometimes. It’s brought us closer, I’d say.

“Hey. I’m headed out.” I nod at Catherine. She stands from the chair and hugs Kimberly. They’re matching in my team shirt.

“Okay. Charlotte is just finishing, so we’ll meet her at the stadium,” she says.

“Sounds good.” My phone beeps, and I already know I’m starting to be missed. I hug Catherine goodbye, Kimberly too, who hangs on long enough it turns into walking me to my car with her aunt behind her to be with her when I leave.

The drive isn’t long, and even with traffic, I have a separate entrance. The team has press beforehand, but I’ve stepped away from that. I meet Jacob in the players’ den. He’s in the zone with his headphones over his head and hoodie covering it.

But when he sees me, he grins and takes them off.

He’s been the same over the years. He and Sandra are still going strong. Their daughters are Kimberly’s best friends, possibly only friends. She isn’t a people person, even now. Charlotte took her out of that stuffy school two years ago. Now she is a regular public-school kid like I wanted her to be, for the record. Charlotte has dealt with a lot with her parents, and they’re why she thought Kimberly needed a status school because she went to one.

“If we lose, we have to disappear,” Jacob kids.

I chuckle. “You might be right.” The rest of the team starts to pile in. I’m friends with most of them, loosely. We fit in.

“Everyone is in the sky room?” he asks.

“Yep. Your parents, too?”

“Nah. Too old to travel now.” He laughs once. His parents are older, always have been. He has siblings in their forties, career-type folk neither of us ever see.

“Why do we always have the party at my house?”

“I don’t know. Tradition? It’s the last one anyway. Game wise, at least.”

He sighs and stares me down with his dark brown eyes. “This is it. We’ve been playing together for ten years.”

“Yep. You gonna cry?”

“Not before you do.” He punches my shoulder, and I do the same to him.

Soon enough, the coaches come in. It’s time to get ready and run drills and whatnot. This will be my last time doing it in the pro-football arena. It’s surreal. I’ve been a football player since I was fifteen. It’s all I felt like I could do until I met Charlotte the first and second time. I like to separate it because I didn’t appreciate her enough the first time, and the second time I reminded myself what it’s like to fall in love, how amazing it is to get to do it twice. Then football became more than my only responsibility, and all I felt I could do. After today, that chapter is over.

I’m ready to play the game of my life. Win or lose, it will be the last time I take the field with my family watching.

“Is this my congratulations kiss?”

“No, I’m saving that for when we’re alone.” Charlotte giggles, her lips against mine, and her sweet scent swirling around me. I only pull away to contain myself while we are in public.

“Good.” I kiss her once more, my lips chaste on hers until something wedges between us. Or someone. Kimberly peeks between Charlotte and me. I chuckle and look down at her grinning up at me.

“I knew you would win, Daddy.” She waves her arms for me to pick her up. Charlotte says her name in warning because apparently, she is too old for that. But I pick her up anyway.

“Did you?” I kiss her cheek over and over until she squeals. Charlotte hugs us both and kisses my cheek. I managed a shower after the game before the press tour and met them down on the field as I promised Kimberly. She got the iconic photo next to me holding the trophy with Jacob. The coaches got their own bit, and I don’t have long before I have to get back.

“Barely, though.” Catherine peeks her head into the group hug, always the one to bring me down. I grin at her. She is right, though. Three points from a field goal on a foul play gave us our win, the other team has won twice already. They aren’t too beat up about losing.

But at least I can say I won one of these things and haven’t been bringing people into the qualifying game to lose. We can leave in peace, Jacob and I. Plus, we still get paid by the team, so that’s a plus too.

“Whatever.”

I hold Kimberly a little while longer, but I’m physically exhausted from the game, and she isn’t as little as she used to be. She may not look it, but the girl is a solid mass. I stay a little bit longer until I have to square away everything with the team, planning to meet them back at Jacob’s house.

When we drive up, the lot is already full, the music loud enough to hear.

“We should turn around and never show up.”

“So our wives can kill us? I don’t think so.” I cut the engine and get out.

Charlotte and I have been married for two years. Our wedding was full of orange blossom flowers with not many people. Our honeymoon was the first time either of us have been away from Kimberly, but it was a winter wedding, so she was still in school. We ended up cutting our tropical vacation short anyway when Kimberly got sick. It was scary for both of us, probably the first real crisis we’ve been through. She did get better, though, and everything has been fine since then. I love calling her my wife, and I love her even more.

“Right. Let’s go.”

We walk in together dressed down in jeans and matching team sweat jackets—on accident, of course. But we’re met with cheers and whatnot. None of the players are here, just the family. I spot the kids in the pool already, everyone else is around the firepit with drinks or food.

I greet Sandra and one of Jacob’s brothers. Before I spot Charlotte closest to the pool watching Kimberly with Catherine, I see two other people I never expected to see here.

“Mr. and Mrs. Belmont, how are you?” I smile, and they both stand to greet me.

Charlotte’s mom is nicer and looks like her, or how she will look at that age anyway. She hugs me and kisses my cheek sweetly. I shake her dad’s hand. He’s an average-size guy with hard eyes and dark russet skin, more like Catherine.

“Doing well. Congratulations.”

“Thank you, I didn’t expect to see you.” I glance at Charlotte who shrugs and then comes to stand by my side.

“Last minute visit,” her dad says, then his attention is practically gone as he waves at Kimberly in the pool.

“Let’s go check on that cake.” Charlotte tugs me off, and I know the last thing we are doing is checking on cake.

But we are alone in the kitchen—the hushed sounds of everyone left outside.

“I missed you.” She hugs me around my waist, and I lean on the counter to hug her back.

“You just saw me.” I chuckle, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. She pulls back pursing her lips at me.

“So?”

I kiss her, cupping her cheek to hold her in place. She rises on her tiptoes but doesn’t have to because I hold her tight and lift her up to me, deepening the kiss. Every time I kiss her, I feel like I haven’t missed a thing, like my lips belong on hers and nowhere else. It still amazes me how much I love her.

“We’ll get caught.” She pulls away, giggling. Her lips are still on mine, and I kiss her once more before I let her go.

“By your parents?” I arch my brow. She frowns and rolls her eyes at me crossing her arms over her crimson dress, low enough to see a bit of her cleavage. My mind goes elsewhere, but after a game, the rest of my testosterone energy has to go somewhere.

“I didn’t know they were coming until tonight. They do like you, you know.”

“Yeah, now they do,” I scoff, trying not to be disrespectful, but her parents—her dad especially—they always rubbed me the wrong way. The way they treated Charlotte when she got pregnant wasn’t right.

“It’s not like that. I think they’re trying anyway. It’s why they came.”

“Okay. I’ll play nice.” Which they didn’t do until I was back in the picture, and we were married. When she told them about us after we became a couple again, they didn’t pay much mind to it. I tried the whole playing it flashy thing, buying expensive gifts and trips for them to visit Kimberly. They like the seeing Kimberly part.

“Thank you. And tonight is all about you and Jacob since you won the Super Bowl. The whole Super Bowl.”

“Really. I thought it was half.” I chuckle. She swats at me, settling her body against my chest again.

We stay like that for a while like we have to get reacquainted with each other. But then it doesn’t feel like that since I never feel like I need to know her again. I just do. I feel at home with her body against mine, her scent in my brain, her love in my heart.

I’m a better person with her.

“Well, it was touch and go there for a bit, especially when you got that red zone violation. Where were you going?” She starts laughing at me before she even finishes. Sometimes I run the ball in, which I tried on a certain play.

“Away from the huge guy chasing me, where else?” We laugh together.

We move to the living room couch. She asks me about what I’ll do next and whatnot. Even though she already knows, I think she wants to make sure I’m serious. I think I am, but there will definitely be a break in there.

“You’ll be the sexiest stay-at-home dad there is.” She brushes my hair back, the rock of her ring scratching my head as she does. Of course, I had to get her the most ridiculous diamond there is. I was still nervous when I proposed in our spot at the drive- in, but that’s all she wanted. Something special, between us, and it was.

“I know. Maybe I’ll do the commercial Brenda pitched,” I joke. She tried to get me to do the whole dad on TV thing, but I didn’t want to. She took over with my schedule and whatnot, but I knew enough not to need an agent anymore.

“Maybe something with diapers.” She snuggles against me but stiffens.

“What?” I chuckle.

She takes a deep breath before pulling back to look at me. Her soft eyes are bright and wide staring me down.

She chews on her inner lip and avoids my gaze after a moment.

“Char…” I smirk but don’t know if I should be yet from the look on her face. After a minute, though, she smiles as if a thought passes her quickly.

“I’m pregnant. Three months.”

I gape for quite a bit before I find my words. “Three months?”

She nods.

“So, I’m either a really shitty husband, or you’re good at hiding stuff.” I look her over. She looks the same, mostly I guess, but now that I look harder, her lower stomach swells a little bit. But I see and worship every inch of her body so much I don’t notice slight changes.

“I think the second option… are you happy?” She looks sheepish, and it’s not a look I’ve seen in a long time.

“Are you kidding? I’m fucking ecstatic. Come here.” I hold her close, kiss her again as she smiles and then pulls away. I run my hand over her stomach, and she covers it with mine.

I don’t know if it’s all the emotions of the day that have me feeling so weird, but I again realize I didn’t get to be around for the first time.

Now I can be.

And I don’t want to miss a thing.

“I love you.” I gaze in her eyes getting lost in her beauty.

“I love you, too.”

She kisses me, and we are again interrupted by Kimberly bouncing on the couch between us.

She’s half wet from the pool, her hair dripping onto my lap when I hold her.

“Kimberly, we have good news.” Charlotte pats her hair down and fixes her orange swimsuit.

“What now?” she jokes, laying her head on my shoulder.

She fits in my lap like a tiny person which she is.

“I’m having another baby.” Charlotte smiles, her voice cracking. I can see how happy she is in the whites of her glistening eyes.

“I thought you were too old for that now.” Kimberly laughs after a moment to say she is joking.

“Aren’t you happy?” I tickle her ribs, and she nods, laughing and wiggling away from me.

“Yes, I am. But only if it’s a boy, so I don’t have to share.”

That makes us both laugh because she is serious. We bask in the good news as a family, soon to be even bigger. And I couldn’t be happier with the two most important people in my life. I love them both so much, I can’t imagine life without them, and I don’t want to.

Charlotte smiles at me after a while, the one I always get that says ‘I love you,’ and I smile back to say the same thing. I’m so lucky that the love that once got away from me came back.

And I’ll never be without it again.